"Correspondence regarding the products from Acme Silicone Inserts"
Acme Silicone Inserts0321 Exner StreetOberon, Nebraska Ladies and Gentlemen:My name is Lydia Joozy. I am writing about your line of silicone companions for the discerning woman. I have been a satisfied customer of yours for many years, but find myself at...
"Two psycho killers stalk some horny coeds on Valentine's Day..."
Valentine's Day. My favorite day of the year. I watched as the beams from the headlights broke through the trees and rested behind a large coal car covered in graffiti. Valentine's Day never disappoints. I smiled wide, a grinning lunatic....
"Samuel The Spider awakes in a curious hovel."
Samuel yawned wide and stretched each of his eight legs. His eyes began to adjust to the dark of the hovel he’d wandered into the night previous before promptly falling into a slumber. Or at least, he believed it a...
"Mrs Claus takes her own sleigh ride"
Mrs. Claus sat at the kitchen table, quietly fuming and sipping her third glass of Bodacious.Santa had returned home, exhausted and spent, and went straight to bed without even glancing at his scantily-clad and eager-to-share-her-beaver Mrs.Bastard. Saves up all year...
"My best friend's teenage daughter wanted to go on a boat ride. Things didn't go as planned but fortunately, she brought along two fleshy floatation devices."
One of my favorite old-time TV shows is Gilligan’s Island. Every Saturday morning, I sit back in my Lay-Z- Boy recliner, sip on my Bailey’s and coffee, and watch the Bouncing Beauties Sitcom Power Hour on my favorite YouTube channel,...
"Embarrassing mishap leads to fun"
JoJo feels it starting again and pulls to the side of the road. She closes her eyes, shudders, and waits until she catches her breath.She pulls back onto the street and continues her journey. As she pulls into the parking...
""He who laughs, lasts." ~ Mary Pettibone Poole"
It was my idea from the beginning and it made some money for Ralph and Mac. My reward was worth more than money (to me).Ralph, Mac, and I lived in the second-floor flat of the old Victorian building in San...
"Could the victim last longer than the author?"
The Captain of the Venereal Guard looked at me, his face stony. “How could you? How could you insult our illustrious Queen like that?”I ignored him, looking down at my bound hands, ashamed, because there was nothing I could say...
"Strawberry lip-gloss, mixed with silliness, makes for a powerful aphrodisiac."
Amanda had the most infectious smile I’d seen on a girl. Her smile thrust dimples into each cheek and tweaked the tip of her nose to one side. Her teeth seemed to be smiling, too, as the delightful curve of her bite...
"A man discovers that while he is at work, his wife is working at a local porn studio"
Our marriage had been pretty good so far, but we always seemed to be tight on money. After almost two years we had most of what we wanted for the apartment, but still wanted other things. Like a newer car...