"Pastoral counseling, Everheart style."
Reverend Amos HandenpantzFirst Purgatorian Church5521 Cowherd StreetEverheart, NDDear Reverend Handenpantz:I would like to thank you very much for your recent pastoral visit to my home after the unexpected death of my husband, Walter Ferguson. I had a wonderful life with...
So there I was, in a fourteenth-floor apartment that belonged to what's-his-name, surrounded by the winking lights of sprawling New York City. I’d been having nonstop encounters with famous characters from Wonder Woman to Elton John and, my god, that...
"Betty complains to the apartment manager"
John AbernathyApartment ManagerExcelsior Apartments5896 North Madison StreetEverheart, ND Dear Mr. Abernathy:I am writing to you as our apartment manager to complain about my next door neighbor, Fred Wilkins. Mr. Wilkins lives in Apartment 202, the one right next to mine, and...
"Correspondence regarding the products from Acme Silicone Inserts"
Acme Silicone Inserts0321 Exner StreetOberon, Nebraska Ladies and Gentlemen:My name is Lydia Joozy. I am writing about your line of silicone companions for the discerning woman. I have been a satisfied customer of yours for many years, but find myself at...
"Two psycho killers stalk some horny coeds on Valentine's Day..."
Valentine's Day. My favorite day of the year. I watched as the beams from the headlights broke through the trees and rested behind a large coal car covered in graffiti. Valentine's Day never disappoints. I smiled wide, a grinning lunatic....
"Samuel The Spider awakes in a curious hovel."
Samuel yawned wide and stretched each of his eight legs. His eyes began to adjust to the dark of the hovel he’d wandered into the night previous before promptly falling into a slumber. Or at least, he believed it a...
"Mrs Claus takes her own sleigh ride"
Mrs. Claus sat at the kitchen table, quietly fuming and sipping her third glass of Bodacious.Santa had returned home, exhausted and spent, and went straight to bed without even glancing at his scantily-clad and eager-to-share-her-beaver Mrs.Bastard. Saves up all year...
"My best friend's teenage daughter wanted to go on a boat ride. Things didn't go as planned but fortunately, she brought along two fleshy floatation devices."
One of my favorite old-time TV shows is Gilligan’s Island. Every Saturday morning, I sit back in my Lay-Z- Boy recliner, sip on my Bailey’s and coffee, and watch the Bouncing Beauties Sitcom Power Hour on my favorite YouTube channel,...
"Embarrassing mishap leads to fun"
JoJo feels it starting again and pulls to the side of the road. She closes her eyes, shudders, and waits until she catches her breath.She pulls back onto the street and continues her journey. As she pulls into the parking...
""He who laughs, lasts." ~ Mary Pettibone Poole"
It was my idea from the beginning and it made some money for Ralph and Mac. My reward was worth more than money (to me).Ralph, Mac, and I lived in the second-floor flat of the old Victorian building in San...
