“Mom!” Millie stood over us, eyes wide and mouth open, in total shock. “What are you and Lara doing?”
Perhaps a rhetorical question on my daughter’s part, since what she saw upon entering her bedroom was pretty obvious. My new lover, Lara, and I lay naked on Millie’s bed, fresh from an intense lovemaking session that left us sweaty, messy, and breathless. I didn’t expect my girl home from school for another couple of hours, but here she was. Instinctively, I grabbed what bedclothes I could, trying to cover our nudity.
“Millie, honey, I…I…” Before I could say anything more, my daughter disappeared, and I was left to stare, gobsmacked, at Lara’s face. Equally speechless, all she could do was stare back. A moment passed before her mouth moved, desperately attempting to form words.
“Jenny, I think…I think I should…”
“Yes, Lara,” I nodded. Although trembling with anxiety over being caught in sapphic post coitus, I managed a genuine smile, gazing into her lovely, dark eyes one more time before she quickly dressed and vanished.
The feeling I had as I shakily slipped on a loose shirt and slacks was the same as when Marcia Levy, my high school lover, and I were almost discovered some twenty-plus years ago. My heart raced, and the sensation of artificially heightened awareness enveloped me, something akin to “fight or flight”. Marcia and I were fortunate that the substitute teacher believed our stammered excuse of practicing secret cheerleading routines after spotting us behind the bleachers, but now, Lara and I had been caught red-handed, and by my sixteen-year-old daughter, no less!
Brain reeling with how to explain myself to Millie, I slowly tread on bare feet down the hallway toward the living room, where I heard the television blaring. She was splayed on the sofa, our usual place, green light from the flickering tube reflecting on her face. For a time, I stood to the side, examining her taut, angry profile, waiting for some sort of acknowledgement. When none came, I sat beside her, warily, hands folded in my lap. I glanced at the television, then turned back toward her.
“Honey…” I wanted to touch my daughter so badly!
“No!” Hate glared from her visage, voice filled with rage. “I don’t want to hear anything from you, Mom. You betrayed Dad, and with a woman?”
“I…I can’t…” Blood pulsed in my head, and I thought I was going to throw up.
“No, you can’t!” Millie growled. “Please stop speaking to me!”
With that, she jumped up and disappeared into her bedroom, door slamming behind her. I curled up on the sofa, tears streaming down my cheeks, eyes squeezing shut, taking deep breaths while trying to process everything that had happened. Next thing I knew, my eyes opened, and it was dark outside, light from the television enveloping the room.
Sitting up, I rubbed my face, clearing my throat, and noticed the rank odor of sex emanating from my body. Goddamn, that was some great sex Lara and I had, despite being busted by Millie! I shook my head, knowing God was watching me. Perhaps this was his punishment for my unnatural desires? He was giving me what I deserved for disrespecting Don’s memory. I didn’t understand what was so wrong. What transpired between Lara and I that afternoon was a beautiful and satisfying act of love. Why would God disapprove?
The sound of the toilet flushing upstairs distracted me from these thoughts. I heard Millie’s bedroom door close. With trepidation, I made my way up the stairs. Light shone from underneath her bedroom door, but vanished the moment I walked by. I paused for a moment before proceeding to my bedroom, where I closed the door, slipping into bed, still in my clothes.
Amazingly enough, I fell back asleep. Circumstances had taken their toll, and I was exhausted. The night passed deep and dreamless, and I awoke to sunlight enveloping my bedroom, birds chirping their songs of love while the low, gentle rumble of traffic in the distance resonated in my ears.
“God, what do you have for me today?” I whispered in the still air. I looked out the window just in time to spot the bright yellow school bus slowly gathering speed as it disappeared into the distance. Millie would be at school until late afternoon unless she came home early, like yesterday, or would she come home at all? I tried to imagine what she was thinking and feeling, and I guess I would find out in time.
It was all I could do to make coffee and two slices of buttered toast. My will to do anything had completely vanished. I wept several times through the ensuing hours, knowing I was a bad mother, plus a sad example of a human being, but what Lara and I had done felt so very right and joyful! I thought of it while masturbating in the shower, crying out as a cleansing orgasm wracked my body. I started to call Lara several times, but procrastinated. Then the phone rang. I picked up the handset immediately.
“Hello?”
“Jenny, this is Lara.”
“Oh…hi.” I was unsure what to say. I wanted to gush and declare my love for this beautiful woman!
“What’s going on? I’m so sorry.”
“No, no, honey.” My eyes squeezed shut. God, I wanted her back in my arms! I desperately needed more of her love. “Please, it was just something that happened, and we got caught.”
There were a few seconds of silence on her end before she spoke.
“How do you feel about what we did?” I could hear her breathing against the mouthpiece.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Lara. My faith tells me what we did was wrong, but, my God, it was so good! It made me so happy, and I needed it so much!”
Lara exhaled, as if relieved. “The same here, my love. I wanted you the first time I laid eyes on you, Jenny. I’m just sorry we couldn’t keep it a secret, at least for a little while.”
“Now we’ve gone from square one to square one hundred, eh?” I cracked a little grin.
“No kidding.”
“I want to see you again, Lara, but not until I talk with Millie.”
“You haven’t talked?”
“No, but I’m going to try when she gets home from school. I’m so afraid she’s going to hate me forever.”
“You shouldn’t think that way,” Lara said. “I think…I hope…you may find she’s more open-minded than you expect.”
To say I was nervous waiting for my daughter to get home was an understatement. It was almost like expecting the rapture at any moment! At last, I heard the front door open and close, and there was my girl with her backpack, which she dropped next to the big, overstuffed chair across the living room. I looked at her and she at me, unsmiling. With a big sigh, she plodded over to the sofa and plopped down beside me. I almost spoke, but thought better of it and remained silent.
“I’m not mad anymore, Mom.” Her voice conveyed resignation, and I didn’t know how to read her face. “It was just a huge surprise.” Millie’s eyebrows rose. “And on my very own bed!”
“I know, I know, my love.” I wanted to embrace her, hold her against my breasts, but sensed it was too soon. “God, Millie, I would never hurt you. I’m so sorry, I…”
At that instant, all of the sorrow and anxiety and lonely desperation detonated in my chest and stomach. I started to panic, hyperventilating like mad. My daughter grasped my shoulders, fear in her eyes.
“Mom, calm down! Please!”
But I couldn’t. Next thing I knew, I was kneeling at her feet, sobbing uncontrollably, beating my fists against the carpet.
“I can’t stand this any more, Millie!” I shrieked through the sobbing. “I can’t lie to you and pretend!” Grasping her thighs, I rose, only to face-plant in my daughter’s soft, yielding lap. Immediately, she placed one hand on my shoulder and the other on the back of my head.
“Pretend what?” she said, slowly stroking my dirty blond tresses. “That you don’t like women, too?”
I didn’t know how to respond. I merely grasped her firm calves, inhaling the scent of lilac and womanhood through the fabric of her short skirt. “Yes.” I sobbed, trying to control myself with only a modicum of success. “Yes…YES!!! I know I’m a sinner, and that this love is unnatural.”
Millie let out another big sigh. “Mom.” She placed a hand on my cheek, pulling my tear-stained face up to gaze into her dark eyes. “Why do you say that? Why do you act like that kind of loving is wrong?”
“What?” I couldn’t believe what my confessor was saying.
“I don’t think what you were doing with Lara was bad,” she smiled, fingertips petting my neck. Her gentle touch soothed me somewhat. “It just took me by surprise.”
Millie squeezed my hands, lifting them to her face, kissing one, then the other. It was then I felt that peculiar energy, the same I experienced with Lara when we met, that deep, warm feeling of love and kinship. With my daughter, in recent days, I had mistaken it for the love between a parent and child, but this was something more. My anxiety disappeared along with any hesitation.
“Would you please come up here with me, Mom?”
I slid up on the sofa. Much to my amazement, Millie had become the adult, my comforter, as she grabbed a wad of pink tissues from a box on the end table. She was always wise and mature beyond her years, but now, I was seeing a side of my daughter I didn’t know existed. I blew my nose, taking more tissues to wipe my face with her help. Without a word, my daughter and I embraced before stretching out on the sofa, spooning as I pulled her against my body.
“Oh, my love,” I sighed, pressing my face into her raven black hair.
“It’s okay, Mom, just relax.” Her hand covered mine, which grasped her waist. “Let’s just stay here for a while.”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes, feeling her heartbeat as she pressed back against my breasts. As evening came, Millie and I sat at the kitchen counter, nibbling on odds and ends from the fridge. She slurped a tall glass of milk, tracing her finger over breadcrumbs from a small, flowered melamine plate.
“Mom?” She licked away her milk moustache.
“Yes, love.”
“I don’t want to sound weird, but can I sleep with you tonight?” She looked down at the countertop as if embarrassed. “I know I’m grown up and all, but I just have that feeling I want to be near you.”
I almost broke into tears again, eyes welling up as my lips pulled wide from ear to ear. “Of course,” I slowly nodded and reached out to grasp her hand. “And you never have to ask.”
Millie bit her lower lip and made a little bounce as she sat on the barstool, again a teenage girl, returning the big smile to her very relieved mother.
Later that night, in the near-darkness of my bedroom, I lie, eyes open, examining shadows on the ceiling and walls, elated that we had navigated through a tough spot in our mother-daughter relationship and, in retrospect, so easily. Millie clung to me, nothing new, breathing steadily. I envied her ability to fall asleep so fast as I pondered this new chapter in our relationship.
As I held her close with my left hand, my right hand wandered down below my waist. It was very slow and subtle, and I didn’t really realize what was happening. I had done it almost every night since Don passed away, even when he was gone on a business trip. Fingertips traced up and down the inside of my thigh as my right knee drew up slightly. Millie’s bare leg was thrown over me, heat from her body melding with mine, so I had to be careful. Slender fingers combed through neatly-trimmed fur, and soon rubbed that ever-dampening gash below.
As I listened closely to my daughter’s breathing, my finger slipped inside. It was like pressing the “on” button; suddenly, pleasure welled up inside me. I stroked my finger, slowly and surely, in the time-honored come-hither motion, massaging that sweet, spongy area behind my swollen clit. Quelling a gasp, I fought to remain still. I just needed to come so I could sleep.
Like a moth fluttering across a glowing lampshade, I frigged myself silently, controlling my breath, biting my lip with sinful desire. The realization that Millie was clinging to me, enhancing my pleasure, made me blush furiously. God, please tell me, what constitutes incest? She was none the wiser, I thought, as I silently churned the gooey porridge in my pussy. It just needed to come! Then suddenly…
“Mom?” Millie whispered. “Are you masturbating?”
I just about had a heart attack! Before I could respond, she continued.
“If you need to do that, I don’t mind.” She nuzzled my shoulder. “It’s not like you haven’t done it before.”
“Oh, God, Millie, this should never…” I started, but she interrupted.
“You thought I was asleep.” She giggled, but just a little. “Even when I’m not totally awake, I think I can tell.” Her leg rubbed against mine, her thinly veiled pubis pressing snugly against my thigh. “We’ve come this far.”
I didn’t know what to say. My fingers were still deep inside. Millie lifted her head, her lips a mere inch from my ear. Her breath made me shiver with arousal.
“Does it help that I’m here, or do you want me to go?”
Dear Lord, I didn’t know what to say! Fortunately, she didn’t wait for an answer.
“We can do it together, if that’s okay.”
Heavens! My sweet, young daughter was asking me to masturbate, and presumably climax, with her! That instant, I took a mental step back. She was right; despite my shock, I was still wet and on my way to an orgasm. Pushing her away and denying everything, including my newfound sexual attraction to her, would only make things worse. Finally, I coughed out a few coherent words.
“My love, I…of…of course.”
“Good!”
I felt her hand move and her leg rise an inch.
“There,” she whispered before letting loose with a big sigh, warm breath on my cheek as I felt a rhythmic movement that wasn’t mine.
There was no doubt in my mind that the Devil was in the room, possessing both of us! My brain screamed how wrong this was, how Millie and I shouldn’t be doing this. God, you’re not answering me! Where does the line get drawn on incest? My heart winning out, I joined her, resuming my self-pleasuring while she took care of her own needs. The fact that her body was still pressed against mine reminded me of those lusty, perverted days in high school with Marcia Levy.
“Oh, honey, I…yes…yes,” I panted as pleasure quickly built within my body. I could tell she was in a state of total bliss as well. “God, please, I hope I’m not doing something wrong.”
“No, Mom,” Millie shuddered. “Noooooo…”
I felt her body tense, hips gyrating against me, then again, over and over. She let out a long moan, and I knew she was coming, and so fast! Oh, sweet Lord, yes!
“Oh, Millie…did you?” I asked, frigging myself ever faster, desperate to come with my daughter.
“Oh, fuck, Mom…yeah!”
I had never heard that word from her before and didn’t know how to respond, but that coarse obscenity from her naughty young mouth pushed me over the edge.
“Oh, dammit, YESSS!!!” I squealed with delight, liberated, no longer having to remain still and silent as waves of pleasure overtook me.
“Uh-huh! Uh-huh!” Millie spurred me on, her wet fingers grasping my thigh as I repeatedly convulsed in climax.
Jesus, I thought, I was coming with my daughter! What a sinful perversion, but so very sweet! Passion overtook me, and the next thing I knew, Millie and I embraced, arms and legs wrapping around each other. I rained wet, eager kisses on her face, neck, and shoulders before our mouths locked together. It all seemed so very right and natural! Movements as old as time took over as my body started to undulate against hers.
“Oh, Mom…” She whimpered. “God, yes…YES!!! I never thought it could be like this!”
“Millie, my love,” I rasped between kisses, “Please forgive me for what we’re doing.”
“No, Mom, please…It’s okay!” I felt her hands clasp around my buttocks as her movements matched mine. “I want this, too! God, I want this so very much!”
I couldn’t believe what was coming out of Millie’s mouth! How long had she been harboring these feelings toward her mother, or was it something new when she discovered my unnatural inclinations? Or did she always know? Was I wrong to assume she was a virgin, or at least inexperienced in the ways of love? Fire in my pussy flared up, dissipating those thoughts, as Millie’s clit started rubbing against mine.
“Oh, sweet baby.” I almost wept with joy, grasping her hips, returning the friction as we found a steady rhythm.
“Oh, Mom, ohhh…GOD!” My daughter wailed. “This feels so good! Sooo very good!”
“I can’t believe we’re doing this!”
“Don’t think, Mom.” Millie locked eyes with me for a moment. “Just FUCK.”
“Oh, that naughty mouth.” I didn’t know whether I was scolding her or spurring her on.
“Jesus, Mom, YES!!!” She threw her head back, eyes closed, as if drawing her orgasm from deep within. “Coming…coming for you!”
“Yes…YES, my love! Let’s come together!”
And with that, we did, grunting and gyrating, slick fur melting with liquid desire as wave after wave of pleasure seized us.
“Goddamn,” I snarled, not caring if I was using the Lord’s name in vain. Under these cirCUMstances, I was confident He would forgive me…tee-hee! “GodDAAAMNN!!!”
“Fuck! FUUUCK!!!” Millie jerked and thrashed, bedsprings squeaking in protest.
Dear Lord, we both needed this, just like I needed Lara. It had to happen. Oh, our sinful, sapphic ways! We had crossed the river, journeying into a brave, new world, Millie and I, as we moved against each other languorously, rubbing out the last of our mutual climax, until she rolled onto her back with a sigh of deep satisfaction. Holding hands, we turned to…
