I have been here, in this spot, for a very long time. I wasn’t always in the state I am in now. I have changed over time, and time has treated me, shall we say, inconsistently.Inconsistently may be a strange...
Humor
The Don has a booboo
"never bite on the Don's cock"
In a well-lit room in the back of the house were where they were sitting. Don Mateo Troia sat behind his large oak desk. His family was true to his name. He had become the head of his la Familia...
Bernie’s House Of Bangers
"Bangers and Mash"
Bernie's House of BangersBernie's House of Bangers was a little, all-night diner on the corner of Riverside and Grove. It might as well have been on the corner of 'Nowhere' and 'Get Lost' for all the traffic it got. I'd...
Letters To Santa
"Viewers letters get read by Santa live on air"
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! And welcome to another episode of Letters To Santa, the show where I read letters form viewers like you on the air. Now before I read this weeks letters, I've got some old business to...
Brenda stared with furrowed brow at Lexi’s reflection in the restroom mirror.“Don't give me that look,” Lexi said with a wicked grin. “He’s hot as all fuck.”Brenda tried to convince her friend to reconsider her choice. “He just made senior...
Damned Pigs
"It’s funny how a bunch of damned pigs can play havoc with your life."
“Skinny dipping? Are you out of your mind? We're in public in case you haven’t noticed. What if someone comes along?”“It’s nearly dark, so what if they do?” My identical twin Mary Helen sat on a convenient root to slip...
Santa is Negotiable
"Russian Mafia Boss makes a deal with Santa."
“What d'you mean, no Santa Claus for the children?” my husband Ivan yelled at me. “Ivan, I took the kids to the mall to see Santa Claus. When they got to sit on his knee and told him their Christmas...
A vinyl record chirps out the chocolaty smooth baritone of Nat King Cole and his 1960 album, The Magic of Christmas, as we’re processed, lifting the precinct’s normally dingy atmosphere to something almost magical. Thing is though, the steel cuffs...
She Normally Gives Me Socks
"Jenny didn't get socks this year."
Fuck, fuck, fuck and other words associated with sex, bollocks and cunt too sprang to mind, and I had silently screamed them all. Trying to calm myself down I had made coffee with whiskey, at ten in the morning! Well,...
It’s Behind You!
"Who loves a Christmas pantomime? Oh yes, you do!"
“Whoops, sorry!” Kevin felt himself blush involuntarily as he opened the dressing-room door and found himself confronted by the sight of Gary and Belinda going at it like a couple of rabbits. She was bracing herself against the table while...