The Layby

"I would bet that you couldn’t imagine what I have been through recently."

I have been here, in this spot, for a very long time. I wasn’t always in the state I am in now. I have changed over time, and time has treated me, shall we say, inconsistently.Inconsistently may be a strange...

Letters To Santa

"Viewers letters get read by Santa live on air"

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! And welcome to another episode of Letters To Santa, the show where I read letters form viewers like you on the air. Now before I read this weeks letters, I've got some old business to...

Damned Pigs

"It’s funny how a bunch of damned pigs can play havoc with your life."

“Skinny dipping? Are you out of your mind? We're in public in case you haven’t noticed. What if someone comes along?”“It’s nearly dark, so what if they do?” My identical twin Mary Helen sat on a convenient root to slip...

Santa is Negotiable

"Russian Mafia Boss makes a deal with Santa."

“What d'you mean, no Santa Claus for the children?” my husband Ivan yelled at me. “Ivan, I took the kids to the mall to see Santa Claus. When they got to sit on his knee and told him their Christmas...

She Normally Gives Me Socks

"Jenny didn't get socks this year."

Fuck, fuck, fuck and other words associated with sex, bollocks and cunt too sprang to mind, and I had silently screamed them all. Trying to calm myself down I had made coffee with whiskey, at ten in the morning! Well,...