What I think about when I masturbate – Part 1 Almost drowned

"A nightmare which arouses me"

Font Size

I will start with the first “fantasy” I had, which I have thought about ever since I began masturbating a few years ago. This actually started as a bad dream/nightmare, which I had when I was younger, and used to recur every few weeks. It would wake me up during the night, and I would be in a state of terror and panic, sweating and gasping for breath. But I would also feel sexually aroused when I awoke.

When I got older and began masturbating, this dream/nightmare became my regular fantasy. I think it might have originally been triggered by an incident when I had to be rescued out of the sea by my Dad when I was small, after a freak wave pulled me off my feet, whilst playing on the sea shore, and dragged me under.

So in the dream/nightmare I am aged about sixteen or seventeen I think. It’s all a bit weird and unrealistic, but then dreams are like that. I am on a beach (no idea where) and decide to go swimming in the sea. There are quite a lot of people around, and it’s quite a nice day. I go into the waves, and I’m wearing a two piece bikini. I swim quite a long way out until I can’t feel the sand under my feet.

Then, very quickly, the weather changes, and the sea is very rough, like some sort of summer storm has come in off the sea. I start to panic, and try to swim back to the shore, but the waves are getting bigger and stronger, and the current is pulling me out. Then a wave hits me from behind, and pushes me under. I don’t know which way is up or down, and feel myself tumbling around in the darkness as the huge waves engulf me.

I suddenly come to the surface, and gasp for breath, but then another wave pulls me under. Again I am totally disorientated and struggling to get air. I feel myself being dragged along the sea bed, and realise that my bikini panties are being pulled down by the motion. I reach down to try to grab them, but it’s too late and the panties disappear into the deep darkness of the surf.

I am suddenly thrust up to the surface, and manage to gulp a mouthful of air. I can see the beach is even further away, and I am being pulled towards rocks at the bottom of a cliff. Then another wave crashes over me, hurling me towards the rocks. Again I am dragged under, and pulled along the sea bed, where rocks now scrape against my body. I feel my bikini top get caught on something, and I can’t get free. I struggle to get loose, weak and suffocating under the waves. I try again to swim to the surface, but my bikini top is tangled on something, trapping me against the rocks. Desperate, I wriggle myself out of the bikini, and fight to reach the surface.

I gasp another lung full of air, coughing and choking on a mouthful of seawater. Now totally naked, I feel a surge of power propel me forcefully against the rocks, and my leg slams into one. I cry out in pain, desperately looking to see if there is anyone around to help. But the beach seems so far away, and nobody even seems to be aware of my situation.

Somehow I manage to grasp hold of the rocks, and pull myself out of the crashing surf and up to a safer place.

For what seems like forever, I lie on a rock, naked, cold and exhausted.

I cough and choke, vomiting up sea water, which I have swallowed whilst submerged.

Eventually I find the strength to pull myself to me feet, and begin to slowly pick my way across the rocks, trying to get back to the beach. It seems to take forever. I feel so exposed and cold.

Then, finally, exhausted and frightened, I get to the beach, and collapse on the sand. I can see that people are all along the beach, and some have noticed me sat on the sand, with nothing on. I realise I am going to have to walk all the way back along the beach to where I had left my belongings on my beach towel.

Amazingly, the storm has cleared, and the sun comes out from behind the clouds, as it moves inland. I get to my feet and begin walking, totally naked, past all the people on the beach. The thought of people seeing me naked is terrifying to me. I have never been naked in front of people before (I don’t count my parents of course). I have a real fear of people seeing me naked, and now I have to face all these strangers on the beach.

I walk along the shoreline, cold, disheveled and exhausted, my leg bruised, and with nothing to cover myself with.

Then I am walking past people. They stare at me. Some of the men are pointing and laughing. I hear a woman call out, “Get some clothes on, you silly bitch.” I keep walking, desperate to locate my things and get covered up.

I hear a man call out, “Lovely tits.” I cover my breasts with my arms, but I know that all the men are staring at my private parts now, and can see my shaved pussy clearly as I walk past.

I feel so ashamed and embarrassed, terrified of being so exposed in front of all these people.

Suddenly a lifeguard is standing in front of me. He is staring at me. “This isn’t a nudist beach, you know.”

“I know. I’m trying to find my clothes,” I reply. He looks down at my pussy, and I cover it with my hand, and try to cover my breast with my other arm and hand.

“Well, where did you leave them?” he asks. I am feeling so exposed and embarrassed at having this guy staring at me.

“They are up there, on the sand,” I reply, and point along the beach, and reveal my breasts as I do so. He stares at me, and I feel my cheeks turn hot with embarrassment.

“Well, you’d better get back there and get dressed, otherwise I will have to call the police. We don’t want slutty girls like you wandering around our beach with nothing on.”

I try to explain to him what has happened to me, but he doesn’t listen, and just walks off along the beach, leaving me to continue on back to my things. I find my beach rug with my towel on it, and wrap it around me, so relieved to cover myself up.

This is about as far as the dream/nightmare/fantasy goes.

When I used to dream this, I would wake up at this point, feeling so terrified, but also sexually aroused. Despite the horror of being seen naked, I would discover that my pussy was tingling and wet.

Published 11 years ago

Leave a Comment