My peers say I am much too fey and not what I am meant to be.
I eschew Fox News and biased views because I am all too smart
To fall for tricks by right wing pricks who for us do not give a fart.
Through college and high school I realize I was a nerd,
Vilified and demonized by teens who acted so absurd.
I confess to being brainy, drawn to brightness like a moth,
But I’m not dense and I had sense to not dress scary like a Goth.
When homework’s done I had fun by discovering much more.
I’d go online where I find Ted lectures, not web sites hard core.
I don’t masturbate to porn third rate, as my own imagination
Lets me fantasize about hot guys for sexual stimulation.
While other girls hang out with churls whom they should not trust,
I’m in bed with legs wide-spread as in my cunt I gladly thrust
Large sex toys resembling boys’ penises free of STDs
Save when , I suppose, menstrual flows deny me of such ecstasies.
So now you see my mind is free of lewdness and obscenities
When I give head I think instead of Aeschylus’ Eumenides .
I’m torn between my needs obscene and matters of the intellect.
With any luck the guys I fuck will also grow above the neck.
Ladies, if you’d be like me with no need of boorish boys,
You need nearby tubes of KY and a hot vibrating toy .
Then with spasms of orgasms and stimulation genital,
You’ll be the very model of a naughty maid in general.
