In our separate beds,
So far but near,
Silently during the nights
As they made love,
I would listen to them.
I kept thinking of you.
It took years…
Seemed like an eternity,
But I knew, I wanted you.
On that night, I lost control.
Silently I came to you
As you slept, I sat there.
Shaking like a leaf,
As I gently fondled you.
My heart was out of control,
My ears were ringing,
Throbbing like distant drums.
My face was white with fear.
As you came on my hands,
I gently stroked you…
Oh my God! I loved you!
I wanted more.
Rejected and heartbroken
I crept back to my bed.
My heart was crushed
I felt like a stupid slut.
My mind racing wildly,
Oh God! What have I done?
Crying through the night…
I still wanted you.
Years have gone past,
And you’ll never know,
The sorrow in my heart,
For that dreadful night.
But I’m not sorry,
For loving you.
I just wanted more…
And always will.
Carolyn
