I’m Sacha, a Producer on The Love Show, and I would be on the crew the whole time with them. Being a producer is a double-edged sword: obviously, I am invested in the couple’s relationship, as the aim of the show is to create couples that will last the distance. The other edge is I want hours of good, viewable footage. But viewable means enthralling and capturing footage and seeing people mooching about their normal business is sadly not that. I know that relationship drama makes good viewing but can be destructive to relationships, so I want enough heat for viewing but not enough to incinerate the relationship. While I aim to remain a dispassionate observer, human nature means there have been several couples I’ve been glad to be rid of and two more that I still message.
In our screening process, we extensively interview and test prospects. Andy and Sarah are similar in age, build, and outlook: both technical thinkers, physically active, and intellectually curious. Their responses to our questions were honest and considered, rather than quick flashes – especially if the question was one they hadn’t experienced much. We knew that this is simply a function of their personality: deep when deep, quick when quick, always reasoned, and more from head than heart. Neither were particularly laughy, though their sense of humour is evident, and it builds a smile, which forms a laugh, rather than expelling one from your body. He has a rather sly and subtle way of expressing some things which meant we had to ponder his response, before getting it and she exhibited this periodically. We discovered that when he wants to emphasise a point, instead of being expressive or raising his voice, he does the opposite: he looks at you and speaks much quieter, so you have to listen and absorb his message. She made it clear that she wanted intellectual challenge, and we realised that he was a good candidate for her as he too, prioritised intellectual partnership and that would be a strong foundation needed for permanence. My only worry about them was that sometimes, intelligent people who know what they are and where they are going can be problematic if we want them to go somewhere they don’t for filming. Then they tend to politely decide to continue their path which we have no choice but to follow, though it’s a better problem than having rude and nasty people.
Neither were particularly bothered about their partner’s appearance, apart from some very rationally expressed deads on tatts and piercings. I’d say neither of them are physically stunning, nor are they Shreks. They have a distinct and very modestly expressed sense of themselves, their wants, and reasons d’etre, the clearest of all of the couples in elucidating: only one couple Lindsay and Tony came close. I’d describe them both as modest of speech and modestly conservative of attire, people who lead by reason and example, rather than force of personality.
We do thorough background checks on everyone. For Andy, this was problematic as he’d spent a lot of time working abroad, so there were time zone issues and problems with ensuring we could legally satisfy ourselves, though the results weren’t. During a Teams call, one referee looked straight at the camera and very directly stated “I trust him absolutely,” which was a first for us.
At the wedding, he looked elegant in his suit, which was typical of his style and like he was going to a formal occasion, which he was. Her dress was elegant in its simplicity, though she surprised us with her near absence of make-up, not that we’d seen her wear much, if any, in our chats. I’d describe her as naturally pretty and she didn’t need much either, though we were surprised how short work she made from being in jeans and to to walking out of the door fully wedding-ready.
The only problem with the filming was he fell asleep in the car, and she settled into a state of deep thought. We want them to elucidate their emotions and so, the car filming was a dead loss as soon as the door closed, so did their lights! His sleeping was either faking it like a pro or very in control of his emotions!
At the altar, he sometimes chatted to their families, making polite conversation with her mother and sister, and the rest of the time, he stood there like he was asleep. Together, they looked stylish, like our cake figurines made real. I neither got a strong sense of attraction, nor of disappointment, and we knew from them that they were neither expecting nor wanting instant lust as they’d explained that they hoped for connection, then attraction to build slowly like a cold steam loco on a cold day. I was shocked that he didn’t compliment her on his dress as this was usually a bad sign, though when he took her hand and helped her to relax, I realised that he had been focused on her state, not appearance and she seemed to very much welcome this. I thought his later apology for this omission was very sweet, and her response was graceful, though she hadn’t been offended by the absence.
Pre-wedding, we film all the participants writing their vows and both had written a lot, so it was a shock when he presented the blank cards to her and essentially winged it. He later admitted to us that he’d written anything but the vows and that he’d composed his plan when running or cycling “Sometimes the best way to think about a hard problem is legs in gear, brain off.” Her face showed I’m fucked, and we wondered how she’d react, then ah: plan b, we realised that he’d deeply hit her intellectual spot which we thought was a good sign. Then, not letting his actions go playfully unpunished was both subtle and funny, followed by her powerful and intelligent response and I knew we had equals before us.
After the vows, usually, the participants have a kiss. His run-in, then breakaway was very different and, as we were to discover, a foretaste of things to come as he’d subtly conveyed his feelings, with the intention to make her smile rather than feel muscled. I found his wordless question about the post-rings kiss incredibly touching. We realised that they were building their commonality and rules: one would suggest, the other would briefly consider and then respond. The response would be in line with what the other was expecting: a gentle step, instead of other couples’ full strides.
Having someone take off their ring immediately has never happened before, and we were stunned when he took it off before he’d left the building. Placing it above his heart and his explanation was logical, if not romantic in the normal way, though she seemed to think it was. They weren’t holding hands much, though frequent brief hand and head touches and plenty of talking and laughing at witticisms indicated they were comfortable and likely taking things very slowly.
In the meadow, we realised that we had a huge problem with the staged kiss as neither wanted nor were ready for this and their joint decision was interesting in how they arrived at their conclusion. Their seemingly nasty and aggressive gestures worried us, even when they told us to take the photos, though it did seem to relax them as they seemed to be enjoying themselves, albeit we were very worried and frustrated by the process. We finally got the brief kiss for the photo, though we wondered whether they were simply throwing us a bone to close it down. I wondered whether this was a foretaste: two intelligents deciding their way was better than ours and very politely and firmly moving down that path, which we had no choice but to follow and film.
Whatever had happened between them at the kiss filming, they seemed even more relaxed, and we wondered who they playing up for, probably themselves, I thought. At the dinner, neither were very animated, albeit very polite: more like two strangers that had just met, than a couple at their wedding dinner. My impression of their mood was respectful politeness, and her family seemed to have taken a shine to him, and also to his parents which was nice, albeit rather too polite and formal for much interesting filming.
When people get to the hotel, normally they are very animated and excited, though these two were very quiet and reflective which was surprising. If I’d considered their personality profiles, I shouldn’t have been. For some reason, she had a thing about his suit and jacket, and it was interesting how she playfully examined it without groping him which he, at worst tolerated though more likely, seemed to like. It seemed to be a technical interest in the objects, rather than their contents and he did get a chaste kiss which showed interest, which he returned, though we weren’t sure whether the kisses were friend+ kisses or something more. At least we observed some brief touches, though these seemed to be mostly assists, rather than intimates.
Couples normally wind down in the room, though they threw us by deciding to wind down by going for a stroll, so we had to nab the Steadicam, and I legged it for a quick scope as we’d not thought about this. We smiled when they’d got changed as, despite randomly pulling clothes out, they looked like a pair, and him changing in the cramped bathroom was very respectful of her, which seemed his baseline attitude with her and one she appreciated.
The night was warm and dark, and the deck and garden were backlit which was very romantic. We had trouble getting the exposure right on the camera as we didn’t want to dazzle them with the spots which also would have ruined the atmosphere. It seemed to relax them as they briefly wandered, then found a spot against the wall. She seemed very comfortable around him as he politely held her from behind and they looked at the stars and I was hoping for a decent kiss to film. Their kiss was very sweet, albeit too brief for our liking. At least it seems to show they are attracted; I thought as they slowly collapsed to the ground asleep. We had a brief team conference about this, and The Runner ran off to find an XL blanket which the Sound Engineer and I gently placed over them. I left The Runner to observe them, realising that they were out for the count. Very sweet, but not much good for an edit, I realised, wondering whether this was a foretaste as I’ve filmed seven series and know what’s good for edits and what’s not. Usually, the bad stuff was awful and nasty albeit good for edits. These two were the polar opposite: very easy-going and gentle which isn’t very good for edits. Too much sugar is as bad as too much vinegar, and a good sauce needs a balance of both.
The sunrise filming was impressive with the sunlit vistas of the garden, and our couple still in a heap on the deck, then the sunrise slowly hitting them, waking them, and their bodies warming up. We got really good, albeit slightly too panoramic shots as they slowly and silently mooched around the garden, awaiting sustenance and we did get a brief, albeit rather friendly lip kiss.
Most couples are excited at their first breakfast, though sadly not them! They were admiring each other and the views, with occasional comments, and his one about never talking about sex annoyed us. We knew he was very capable of either politely shutting down a line of questioning or reframing the subject, and we wondered how serious it was. She appreciated his comment which he had stated solely as his point and not a threat. Her response indicated that we would have problems with her too on that topic, though at least we got to film their kisses in response to comments, with her holding him and a few other gestures of unknown to us meanings! It seemed that the gestures were the most important to them and had a common meaning, though we had to guess, meaning they weren’t very directly open [to us] on camera!
Honeymoons are always interesting as we see how relationships evolve, what excites them, and what annoys them as they build time together. While it was very scenic filming them swimming and walking together and they always looked really good, a lot of the time they were thinking and reflecting and rarely touching for long albeit barely a book-width apart. Space for thoughts, though not necessarily physical was important to them. They allowed each other plenty of space for thinking: too much for our liking and we did prompt them into speaking, which was ineffective as when they had something to say, they did and when they didn’t, they didn’t. We consoled ourselves that this seemed to be working well for them as they seemed genuinely happy, though not particularly attracted to each other. The post-dinner crossword and newspaper was very good for them, though definitely not for us and we soon realised that while we could prod them to do filmables, if weren’t keen they would politely do what they knew was best for them, not us. I knew that they definitely knew what they wanted and where they were going, albeit what I needed for the can was not always that or there. Their staged argument about cameras was fun, albeit very politely at our expense and it deepened their bond which we want in the couples.
I knew from experience that we had a slow-burn couple here: no obvious initial passion, albeit definite attraction, and still no sign of sex, not that I thought I’d ever find out about that after their earlier discussion, which I’d get heat from the Master Producer about. They were very comfortable around each other, sitting next to and rarely opposite, sometimes feeding, and touching with gentle, sweet actions. His “No” comment on the Sex Card Challenge initially shocked us, though the incredibly deep conclusion was a relief. I knew he sometimes phrased responses very formally and elegantly out of nature, though sometimes to evade or obfuscate, and this one, from nature, hit the core of everyone’s hearts. For me, it was one of the nicest honeymoons, I’ve filmed – albeit the hardest with their unspoken gestures and ease around each other. I was hopeful that we had a couple that could go the distance, though I know that destructive surprises happen.
The real problem we had was that we seemed to have the crappiest mics and receivers ever as they’d randomly cut out, then cut back in. We tried the spare set we’d brought, and these were just as bad. Whatever we did, didn’t fix these pigs and I’d fruitlessly called our tech support several times.
After the honeymoon, I was shocked when she called me advising that he was on his way to help out with the earthquake. We’ve had people suddenly quit due to intolerable bust-ups, though this was completely different. She sounded resigned to the situation, though we were happy that they’d only be apart for a week at a time. Her heading home wasn’t what we wanted as it would be hard for us to film her, and she wouldn’t be able to connect with the other couples. Her explanation was very rational, and I’d probably have done the same thing in her shoes: comfort and familiarity first with plenty to distract from his absence.
We soon found that his phone wouldn’t connect when I called him, and I was worried. I asked her about this, and she skirted it, saying that he’d told her before leaving that he was unsure whether he’d have a phone signal while away, which I understood and hoped would not be permanent. She said they were app messaging though sadly, she didn’t invite me onto whatever app they were using.
I knew anything we wanted them to do would have to go through her to then jointly decide, and I was regularly calling her, though I felt too often for her liking. I really needed something in the can for them and was getting big heat about it. She said she was only grabbing quick chats with him, and he was too busy for any staged filming. I wasn’t happy with this, though I sensed she was stating facts, rather than fending as I knew she wanted to prioritise their relationship. I thought she was generous in offering to film if she went over for his break week “Down” as she called it. Her request for the wedding footage was unheard of, albeit reasonable in the circumstances and she actually offered to sign an NDA which we didn’t take up. I sent Camera Man John over to show her how to use the Steadicam. He reported back that she’d picked it up quickly and had given him a run-through on her Z which she seemed to find more versatile, making me laugh.
I sensed that she respected me from my role, though sometimes barely tolerated some of my questions. The Master Producer was still giving me serious heat about the absence of filming, and I suggested to her that we do a link during Dinner Party at what was his breakfast time. She repeated the “too busy” comment, so I called Andy again with the same, dead result. In desperation, I pinched John’s phone and tried again, being very surprised to get him as I thought he was completely out of range. He too, was very surprised at the call, and we briefly and very politely chatted about my predicament. I sensed that he didn’t know about my run-ins with her, and I believed that her protecting him was sincere, as are very emotionally, if unlikely sexually, intimate. He agreed to discuss it with her and said I should treat this as a tentative OK. He later texted back finalising it and I thought she’d grudgingly followed his lead, then he briefly called to discuss tech. He briefly turned the phone’s camera out onto the stunning airfield, and he referred to “300/30, plus GigE so we should be OK,” which was meaningless to me, and I parroted that to the techs. My next call to her was dire: she picked it up and immediately killed the call and, for the rest of the day, my calls went straight to message. I realised that, in going over her head to him, I may have pushed things too far and I wondered what the effects would be, though my instinct was that for them it would not be bad, for me it would be.
We always film the couples getting ready for Dinner Party and it’s fun to see what they wear. She seemed to have calmed down in the day following our call and had a few nice dresses she was choosing when we filmed. When she hoofed out of the bedroom in smartish casuals, the crew and I were shocked, though her sister was killing herself and I realised that she was making a very nasty and intelligently made statement to us about our behaviour which I admired her for, though couldn’t voice that. I’ve seen a number of participants in a really shitty mood at this time, invariably after a bust-up, and this invariably means they remain in a foul, sullen mood all evening. I didn’t get this sense now as I knew that, ultimately, she is very professional, and the anger had just been released. I was the cause of her anger which had compounded her missing him and I felt personally, though not professionally bad, about this.
Her entrance to the studios as I anticipated, was professional and open and she fronted the questions about Andy and his absence, though she seemed worried which I thought was weird as she should be anticipating the filming and seeing him on screen again. We were using LiveLink for the first time, though our company used it often, and it kept dropping in the run-up. The techs thought it was something at our end that was up. I was with the Master Producer and could see Andy was in a small aircraft, rather than the hangar, and was cold and extremely distracted.
When he appeared on the screen, her face and mood weirdly sank like the Kursk. I heard her watch buzz, causing her mood to slightly lift and I knew he’d messaged her. She had told me that she had to have the phone and watch, which I knew was a statement. I didn’t know why she was still so off as he seemed OK, albeit still very distracted in tone and eye movement.
I had offered to pose the questions as I was a known and I asked a few softies about the honeymoon and them and he answered honestly, albeit very tersely and distractedly and it was obvious that his mind was fully occupied with the aircraft. The Master Producer opened the questions to the floor, which I wasn’t mad about, and I was hoping Lindsay, the oldest bride, would bite. Sadly, it was Sally, and she asked The Sex Question which I knew from the honeymoon was effectively off-limits, though I was very interested in how he’d respond given his previous answers to hot questions. His shoot-down nearly made me laugh, but I could see Sarah’s mood darkening and I wondered whether she knew something that we didn’t. There was a background noise, and they exchanged brief words, then she swore and bailed hard calling out to kill the link as her face read MURDER. I reached over and, to the Master Producer’s annoyance, followed her instruction and killed the feed, though not knowing why, but knowing that it was the right thing to do.
I shot downstairs to see the brides consoling her, though I kept a safe distance. I knew she was irate and very upset, especially at me for putting him in the tight spot and I now understood her outright hostility to the idea. Thankfully, her composure soon returned, though I wasn’t sure whether this was real or just a mask. I’ve seen big blow-ups, though this was very different, and I was very worried. I immensely admired her composure as she hadn’t lashed out at anyone. Her head is ruling her heart – barely, I thought Don’t know whether mine would have.
They are very intelligent, polite, and loyal. I was worried that when they reunited tomorrow, I might have pissed off, especially her, enough that they would decide they didn’t need the aggro of us, were better rid of us, and would bail. Quitting as a couple has never happened .. maybe until now, I realised. I told the MP that we might have to do some serious kissing-up if we wanted them in The Experiment as we needed them in. I knew that they would succeed, with or without The Experts and The Experiment and only their loyalty to their commitments would keep them in.
At the dinner, she was very disengaged: the dinner was simply necessary food for her, though other couples doing lively point scoring didn’t help as she wasn’t pulled into the group. I sensed that even if someone pulled her into a discussion, she might not have gone in very far as her mind was very much elsewhere.
The following week, we got regular additions to the DropBox that we’d created for her. The pics and videos were stunning, and they were definitely enjoying themselves. The first file that showed their reuniting was intelligently and effectively executed and though it didn’t capture them too well as the photographer had wanted to capture the full scene, rather than focussing on them during their linger, which I suspect was partly out of respect. Their hug was a long one, minus any kisses as I could see his full face. I initially thought that romance was absent, though I had an underlying feeling that it was simply bubbling away and waiting to erupt when they warmed up.
Unfortunately, when others were in shot, and it was a mix of adults and minors, it was only the backs of their heads, so it was going to be fun editing as you need faces for interest. I decided to let them enjoy their break free of me in the hope that their loyalty to commitments would override her feeling of us betraying their trust. I called up their families and got polite albeit very terse and positive responses about how things were going. I knew that the families knew everything, and we were certainly not in their good books. My sole consolation was the flow of files implied they were still in.
On her return from Patagonia, she broke her silence and called me. For a non-pro, she’d shot some stunners, and I told her this politely and honestly. She was smiling and happy, though professional in attitude, and had obviously enjoyed her time away. She firmly told me, with reasoning, about his post-return, and I knew that this wasn’t up for discussion: Our way or the highway, don’t care was the unspoken, though as usual, polite undertone. I had to run with her instructions, and I told the MP bluntly again, that if we wanted them in, which we did, sometimes we just had to take what they gave us. I thought I could read them well and so knew she missed him deeply. I felt sad that they were still apart, though she discretely radiated anticipation as the clock counted down for his return.
We would soon know his flight and we got to work getting the permits to film at the airport, then agreed with her about the filming. This time, I knew better than to push my luck trying to get him on at Bring Up as she called it. We wanted them in and, if no filming this week was the price, we paid grudgingly.
At the pre-dinner party dressing filming, she was happy and relaxed which I was very happy about. She took me aside briefly, telling me that she had an urgent appointment prior to heading to the airport tomorrow and would meet us there. This time, she pleasantly surprised us by pulling out a dress from the bag, rather than yet another T-shirt. It was semi-formal, and despite her usual minimal makeup, she looked amazing in it. I realised that on a bad day, she merely looked good, on her best day and despite showing minimal skin, she stunned.
During the party, she was engaging, though still subdued. I sensed that where she wanted to be and where she was were not the same. I noticed a weird fabric badge on her chest that, she seemingly idly, kept touching and I wondered whether it was a gift from Andy as the touching briefly relaxed her which was good for her and us. She was always polite, albeit sometimes very distant and I knew where her mind and heart were. I was relieved that her and Lindsay were getting along as they are similar in age and both technically minded, so she wasn’t completely alone. I felt her aloneness though as I knew she was apart from him, though seemingly very much in her thoughts.
We put our edit of her footage on the screen, though she seemed very bored with it which surprised us and the couples, then she was honest about why. I knew that, in having to edit down most of the scenes with people, we’d badly degraded its atmosphere, and I wondered whether she had her own edit in progress. If so, she was comparing the two and had found ours badly wanting. At least we’ve got their reunion tomorrow: that will make good filming, I realised and hoped that it would look hot when we showed it, and hopefully put some, very lacking, credit on our ledger.
I woke the next morning with an unexplainable and weird sensation: I knew something not good was up, just not what. I knew he was now airborne, so didn’t try to call him. I called her and the phone dumped again, likewise, John’s did, then I checked FlightRadar: the plane was on time.
At the airport, there was no sign of her, and still her phone was dumping. I went to Info, and they put out several, fruitless, calls as my worry increased: was she coming? Had something happened to him? She still wasn’t there after the board showed his flight had landed and we were worried, their phones still dumping. The only thing to do was to sit tight and film the arrivals, hoping that she’d jump us, then him.
It was late, the area nearly empty, and still no sign of them. I knew that another few minutes and we’d have to pack up as the airport closed down. I seriously thought they’d dumped The Experiment without telling us after what had happened at Bring Up. “There,” John exclaimed as we saw them saunter through the security door like just two randoms, not a happily just-reunited couple and completely ignoring us. Crap footage: at least they’re in, I realised as the old bat close behind them grinned straight at us, flashing birds. Typical: we get this too: yet another kick in the head, I thought and knew that the MP would go ape. I was clueless about how she’d got airside, though I knew that their reunion had been there. They’re probably very happy: we’re screwed here, I thought as we packed up, wondering if or when we’d be able to contact them, so I pushed that miserable task up to MP to sort this mess out.
Mid-morning, the MP called me, saying he’d finally managed to hold of The Lovebirds, as he acidly called them, and gave me the good news that they were in, and he told me that we should head over to Andy’s for filming. I knew that I would have to tread very carefully: there was a balance between what I wanted and what they would give. Better to get a few crumbs, than push too hard and get nothing for ever, I knew.
At his, it was mid-afternoon, and they were in jeans and tops and very happy. I light-heartedly suggested a bed scene, wondering what they would do. They simply jumped, as is, into the bed up to their necks, politely humouring me. I was scared to do anything to piss them off again, so I fired softies at them which they tolerated and politely rose to. We were scoring singles, not sixes and enough singles win matches, so this match was currently low-score win-win. When the MP saw it, he lit me up about the footage. I reminded him that we’d angered her several times and we knew they could decide they were better off together and off The Experiment. I reiterated that we wanted them in, and filming, and we had that. Sadly, I thought he’d retribute by making downer edits on them.
I shouldn’t have been surprised that the pre-dinner party filming sank, albeit I’d been forewarned. They were calling me and answering my calls, which was a win, and I knew that they had an earlier meeting. This wasn’t malice, it was simply an over-running meeting which they’d politely texted me to advise, and it was a shame not being able to film them dressing. She looked stunning in what seemed a new dress and a new brooch. “He looks good too”, I told The Runner. I realised that there was a difference between sexy and stunning: the youngers like Sally and Joanne went for the former, which was in your face whereas with her it was the latter, discrete and so much more effective even in such a simple dress. Especially combined with her attitude: pure, unadulterated happiness at being with him, that he mirrored. I didn’t know what was going on in their relationship, but we knew whatever it was, things were going well, though more likely, extremely well.
I observed to the MP that they were “Competent and comfortable in their relationship.” They knew what they knew and, more importantly, what they didn’t know: this they were finding out gradually and seemingly, very successfully. It was fun watching them field questions on the sofa and playing off against each other, sometimes using their intellect to throw off questions or curves, sometimes with fun plays though never hits against each other, which some of the couples did. Hitting each other makes for good filming, but not relationship longevity, whereas plays can breed longevity. Theirs were all plays, even if some people initially misinterpreted them as hits. A lot of their gestures were still micros: a nudge or touch here to emphasise or prompt. Some of his seemed to be painful to her and a few of hers likewise, though neither seemed to take offense.
The reason for the brooch came out: she’d become accepted deeply into his group and it signalled to me that something else was afoot: something good for them, but very different from our norm.
The crew’s eyes opened when they rose in unison to do the toast as it had never been done as a pair. We soon knew that, while written, it was from their hearts: a very elegant and intelligent expression of their of their story so far and their feelings for each other. It had gone way over some heads and a few of us in the booth, though Saskia and I teared up at its eloquence.
We knew that they’d be heading away to Whistler soon and were very surprised when she announced their news that they’d committed to moving to Seattle next year, seemingly indefinitely, which I was very happy for them. This signalled that their relationship was much stronger than some thought, though I didn’t as I knew from their profiles that they weren’t huge expressers of happiness and thought I was reading their signals well. Contenters is their main happy characteristic. I told The Experts that my read from the off was that their romance was very strong, just they didn’t show it much. I wondered what they were like at their houses, when not filming: I cynically and hopefully thought that when they weren’t working, they were at it like bunnies!
Their news caused chaos at the following morning’s production meeting. Keeping it and their toast in would blow any suspense for Final Vows, whereas omitting it would leave the viewers wondering why the Prodigals got so little airtime. We chose the only option: keep it and deal with the after-effects later. I observed to colleagues that I was anticipating their time on the sofa as The Experts, who I have a good relationship with, would be probing. Normally couples answer honestly and bluntly, usually rising to the bait when it’s set, or can be argumentative which makes for good filming. These fish are full, and the bait will just sink, I thought, and that my pair would use their intelligence to politely deflect and swerve questions that they didn’t want to answer, such as The Sex Question. Their politeness would blunt any chance of The Experts forcing them into an argument and their use of metaphors would block thought trains. Having been on the receiving end of some of their responses, I awaited viewing this sport as they tended to play a slightly different game.
As expected, Sid and Joelle started with softies, and they got honest, though concise responses. I knew that he’d never hit on her, per se as their journey was slow and steady with gentle hints and nudges. Their bare-soul response to Joelle’s Bring Up was stunning for its candour as it explained her hostility to doing the segment and reaction to it and it was obvious they’d pondered it while away. I decided that when options arose, my soul required me to discretely make amends.
Looking at the video of their arrival, I now knew the old bat was in with them as she was physically too close and stared too directly at the camera for a random; plus, the gestures were a giant Fuck You. Whoever she was to them, I admired her for comprehensively screwing us over and realised that, given their long delay in exiting, whatever had happened airside was memorable. She’d done a stunning job: for them, and on us. Sid decided to try a dig out and while I was trying not to kill myself with their cut-down, everyone else in the box was fuming. He’s a good guy but needs taking down a peg periodically and they had cut his lines off and with such style!
I knew Families Day would be problematic after my calls to them while they were away, though I hadn’t expected her sister to slam me so hard, then tell the others what she’d done. I admired them for somehow getting their agreement to film and thought it would go well .. until I saw his parents in T-shirts that unsubtly conveyed a message. From there, it got worse as they just talked about themselves, then bolted dead on 20 mins. Ellie and Mum appearing identically attired was the final kick: her kiss was a malicious way of telling me that she’d won and didn’t care that I knew. There are nasty ways to do nasty things, and they make you angry, though this was a very polite way of being very nasty and later, I admired it as you can’t get angry about polite nastiness! I wasn’t that surprised this was a disaster too, though I wondered whether some of both pairs’ behaviour was a final kick, and that they might have a post-filming meet lined up where they could gloat. Though now we had two blown segments to deal with: either we didn’t show them, and the viewers would see story holes, or we aired them, and we would be idiots for getting done over. I knew that we’d have to bite the bullet and air!
The videos they uploaded to DropBox from Vancouver and Whistler were stunning, though this time she’d forgone our Steadicam for her Z without any reduction in quality, and I could see they were having a very fun trip, and they were very at ease, especially when in a heap on the snow. I hoped these pics would go into the final edit, though I knew MP had put the word on the editors about a style he wanted. They were travelling in style with seaplane rides, then the twin-seat fun ride she had, though the pictures from them in the bizjet showed sadness and I realised that she sat where he had during the horrific link. No wonder it’s bringing back bad memories, I thought, remembering it and her anger after as my heart told my head again, of the debt.
I was surprised how at rough she looked when they got out of the taxi and wondered if she was sick. Her response was unusually direct, and her follow-ups typically-of-them intelligent, though the metaphors got lost on Sally and Joanne until she finally laid it out for them. I could read their signals – they were closer than before, though these signals were as brief and discrete as usual and most of the couples didn’t get them.
Later, I decided to chance the Card Challenges to see what would happen, though I was resigned that how it should be done, wouldn’t be. As expected, they only pulled those they had a polite opinion on, and the rest were left in a pile, and her finale was typical of them! At least I got some footage, I thought, and I admired her Pale punchline, though I thought that if we weren’t around they would have had more fun after.
I’d told The Experts several times about their honeymoon responses to The Sex Question, though wasn’t surprised that Saskia did run it as she’s the Relationships Expert. Sarah’s deadpan return question nearly got me again and I admired her way: Sarah could teach style to Trinny and Susannah, I thought, though I couldn’t work out why Sid had raised Family Day: he should have known that it would get batted flat. Andy’s honest albeit acidic take-down of Sid’s love question got me again, as it did most of the couples and I almost felt sorry for Sid getting pelted by their returns. His actual answer was incredibly thoughtful, sweet, and typically articulate without disclosing the whole range of his feelings for her. I just wished they’d loosen up a bit on the sofa to let humour out rather than being too workey.
The couples pay for their food out of their per diem, which thankfully they were still receiving. Several colleagues had advocated withdrawing it from them, I countered that was vindictive and they would know it and I’d long decided that we’d irked Sarah too much. I do have a small discretionary budget, so putting breakfast in their fridge was an easy thing for me and they thanked me for doing it which I thought was typical of them. I had managed to convince MP to give them ex-gratia as thanks for doing the away filming and in lieu of her second dress allowance, which they gratefully accepted, and I felt good paying back more of the debt I owed them.
I did wonder what the hidden message on their jumpers was. Whatever it was, I knew from the quality of the graphics, it was professionally done, then we had to disappear to film elsewhere.
My crew was filming Guys Day this time and I was interested in how he’d find his first time as while he was friends with Tony and, to a lesser extent, James, the others had little time to get to know him. He is uninterested in discussing sport which kills a line of chat, plus, he’d be his usual self about their relationship. I thought that if something happened, either he or Tony would take the lead which could be fun for filming: In my experience, one intelligent person is dangerous, and two are lethal.
I was glad the guys engaged him as their increased work had absented them from WhatsApp, though Tony seemed to be somewhat in the know. I’d had a preview of the Canada Edit and I was disappointed that it was such a downer, compared with the DropBox files, and wondered what his reaction would be. When we showed it, it was as expected, and I was glad that Tony seemed to know there was another version and baited him to play that. These two films were stunning and really captured their trip. Technically, they weren’t quite as good as what we’d done, but there was clearly a graphics pro involved, and I loved the combined logo/Tag. Tony’s final kick to me was gloating that it was a child who’d done the edit; sadly, I knew that would end up on the floor. I was worried that if Sid tried it on with Andy again, he’d get very elegantly roughed by Andy which would be a fun experience for me, and he did, though his whole speech was chilling in its honesty about that week and especially, his horrid morning. The more I know about BringUp, the bigger mistake we made weaselling him into doing it, I knew, though we did have explosive footage which is always nice (sort of!).
When they reunited at his, I wondered what work exactly they would be doing shortly, though I suspected it wouldn’t involve Word or SSMS.
Back at the studio, I got to see Girls Day and I got to see her, as expected, bad reaction to the vid. I knew they were messaging, so I wasn’t surprised that she played them too, then delivered a final, deserved kick.
We have a number of in-show promos that we do and there is usually one intimate. I’ve never seen someone so bored with a subject as her, though Lindsay wasn’t too far behind, and I knew her mind was elsewhere, as his had been. Her response to Joelle was typically powerful and eloquent though I suspected that would all end up on the floor as if we left it in, it would sink the segment and burn the sponsor.
We were very happy that they were briefly returning home for the final filming, though I wasn’t surprised that their plans had changed. I wondered who their friends were that had a $100m G, though probably shouldn’t have been after their previous 5-star trips! As they limped into the studio, they seemed very rough, albeit close as ever. This stunned the couples and us and I was glad that it transpired it was from a very good night out, though I wondered what the bill would be as we’d agreed to foot that as they’d got the scheduled flight that we paid for refunded. I knew they deserved the night out, though the MP would be unhappy about the bill: tough!
Again, I was disappointed that the recap vid had downed their trips: at least it kept their first week and the Toast in, so I scored a rough draw on that. Their jumpers really looked good on them, and I remembered that the logo was from the video the kid had made.
Then it was fun time as they went up against The Experts again and Tony seemed very well informed about their work. I was impressed that she’d asked a friend how they saw their relationship and her reciting was typically eloquent and very alliterative which forced us to derive meaning, rather than being served on a plate, though some people couldn’t process her offering. “Naked .. clothes” really made me think and it’s true: I could read their signals very well as I’d spent enough time with them and knew they neither hid nor excessively displayed like some did.
My stomach was really rumbling as she led Sid, and all of us, on with her baking riposte to his spike and I got the smirk: bunnies! It’s hard to score their returns on the questions, but I ranked this no.1, though probably equal with her following criticism of a lot of the behaviour: we need the jibes and kicks for good filming, and she bullseyed on their real results.
Andy’s final statement is the most touching, albeit the most ambiguous, I’ve ever experienced. Whatever Weasel, I had heard her name used a few times and know she’s a pilot, and had talked to Sarah early on. Whatever she told her, he also knew and hadn’t forgotten as it must have been deep, though maybe excessively truthful at the time. Now he felt that about her, and she did too, though it was typical of Sally to find base. It completely summarised their relationship: a deep love they didn’t feel the need to explain: if you could read it, you knew it; if you didn’t, a very polite shrug from them.
Regrets?
I do wish that I didn’t have to go behind her back to get him to do the link, though I didn’t have a choice as I was following orders. I completely understood her anger at what transpired and how he felt in the hangar after I’d killed the link. I respect and admire her attitude to us after as I know others would be nasty, or worse, whereas she just cut me dead for a while.
I am incredibly grateful that their ethics resulted in their not exiting, though they didn’t get much from their time with the Experts as they didn’t need it, and I made discrete efforts to make amends. What they got out of The Experiment is what they wanted: true and complete love.
This series has been both the nicest and worst for me. Nicest as I’ve had the pleasure of filming such a well-matched couple and I’ve relished their responses to questions, especially on the sofa. I’ve been challenged hard, but very pleasantly by some that I’ve received. Hardest as their intelligence means that they never unthinkingly accepted requests and, if it didn’t align with their ethos, they would very politely evade, decline, or rework to remain in their parameters. Sometimes it was cat-and-mouse, though even when she was irate, always at least with a veneer of respect and politeness which other couples have not done.
