As I pulled into our driveway, I noticed no lights on in the house. That was odd. Charlie should be home by now. I pulled into the garage seeing his SUV was not there.
I texted him from my car: “Babe, where are you. I just got home, and you aren’t here? We have a game night at Sally and Jake’s tonight at 7:30, so we need to eat before we go. Pick up some Chinese. Love You”
I looked at my watch. It was just after 6:00 pm, so I had time to shower and dress, then we could eat and still be on time.
After a tough week, I walked into the house. My work project had several significant hiccups, putting us behind schedule. My boss wasn’t happy. My best friend Stella told me her marriage was over, and Charlie had been a little distant since Wednesday night.
I was looking forward to this weekend to be with Charlie, reconnecting. We had been slipping lately, making things tense between us, which concerned me.
I flipped on the light and put my computer bag on the counter. Then I saw the note lying there, and I picked it up and read it. “‘Caroline, who is Justin Payne?’ Call me when you are ready to tell me but not before!”
“Oh God, No,” I slumped onto a stool.
A deep feeling of dread and panic spread through me.
I reread the note. My mind was spinning. How did Charlie know about Justin? There was no way? We had been over for over two years, and I had not talked, texted, or had any contact with Justin in all that time. He lived across the country now and was married.
Why Now? Oh My God! I knew this was bad, very bad.
Then I realized I had not heard back from Charlie. Where was he?
My head was spinning, and I was having difficulty breathing. I felt a little panicked.
I called Charlie, but his phone went to voice mail. “Call me; please, Call me!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Earlier in the week, on Wednesday, I left early from my office at Stanfield and Associates, Attorneys at Law. Over the past few months, I have cleaned out a storage unit that we rented for our stuff while building our house. Now that we have moved in, I closed out the rental on the space and cleaned all the other boxes. Most of them were full of junk that we didn’t need or want. But to ensure we didn’t throw away any family pictures or things we may want to keep from our college days, I went through the boxes and junked most of them.
I had found a box full of journals Caroline had written over the years. I was tired, so I sat back to drink a bottle of water and flipped through several of them. Most of them were over eight years old. They were about her college life and some of the guys she dated. Not like a diary, she didn’t write details. Reading excerpts was enlightening, and I saw Caroline as she developed into the woman I know and loved today.
I finished the bottle of water and picked up one last journal. Written on the front was ‘2018 to 19.’ It was the only journal I had found that Caroline wrote during our five-year marriage. I was conflicted. Should I read this one? The others were all years old before I knew her.
My curiosity was just too intense, so I opened it. After reading several pages, I was sorry I had looked at it. I was so angry I threw it against the medal wall of the storage unit, making a loud noise.
My eyes filled with tears. Suddenly I was overcome with sadness and anger, a potent mix of emotions.
I had just read that my Caroline had an affair with a man, Justin Payne. I only knew what Caroline had written in this journal, and she wrote more graphically about their relationship than she had before, describing their many times together in bed.
I forced myself to read more pages and discovered their affair had lasted over a year. Caroline had written details, describing their torrid love affair graphically to any reader.
I slumped back, thinking about what I should do, but I had no idea.
It was clear from her writings that Caroline loved me, but she had also loved fucking Justin. She wrote further that her fling with Justin was purely physical and that her only true love was me. Reading further, I learned their affair had ended a couple of years ago.
Jesus, I was shocked by this. My Caroline had cheated on me, giving her body willingly to another man while we were married. We were so in love, and we had planned out our future together, so I was confused about how she could have done this to us. Caroline violated our marriage vows that we had pledged to each other for life. The woman I love had betrayed me repeatedly, and she had broken my heart.
My first thought was that our life together was OVER!
But I also thought this was in the past, so, ‘just maybe’ we still had a chance.
I closed the storage locker and drove to the dump, trashing everything but the journals, and I took them home to read again later.
I drank two beers and thought about what to do next. I needed answers, and I needed to know who Justin Payne was, where he was, and was he still a threat to us. I also needed to confront Catherine indirectly, setting her emotions loose and making her feel guilty.
I packed a bag for a couple of nights and put it in my SUV. I decided not to do anything until the weekend. I had a legal case I needed to finish on Friday morning. I would try to act normal with Catherine, but I would not make love to her, and that might signal to her something was wrong.
That night and Thursday were difficult. The good thing was that Catherine was starting her monthly, so she was not feeling well. Sex was off the table. Our night was quiet, with very little shared affection. I knew she thought something was wrong but was afraid to ask me. She went to bed early both nights. I stayed up and gathered the things I needed when I left Friday afternoon, setting my plan into action.
Friday morning was normal. We cuddled in bed when we woke, talking about the weekend. We showered together, washing each other, but there was no sex play or teasing. That wasn’t normal for us, so it indeed added to Catherine’s concern.
We ate a small breakfast; I was stoic the whole time. Just as I was leaving, Caroline came to me, hugged me, and asked, “Charlie, what is bothering you these last couple of days.” I looked into her eyes, and I was sure she could see there was no sparkle.
I kissed her softly and looked into her eyes, “We will talk later. I have to go now.” I gave her another peck on the lips and left. As I walked out the door, I looked back. Catherine was staring at me, and I could see the concern on her face.
I didn’t text or call her all day. That was normal when I had a case closing, like that morning. I finished my argument in court and went to the office. The case was continued for two weeks, so I had free time to try to work through this mess. I told my partner that Caroline and I were at a point, and I had to get away for a couple of days.
He was surprised but agreed to say nothing and play stupid when she asked where I was. He didn’t know that he would be honest with her. My assistant was the same, and William would take care of the others on Monday if I weren’t back.
I went by the bank, then home, and finished gathering what I would take with me. I sat at the kitchen counter and wrote a note to Caroline. I laid it on the counter along with the pen, gathered my last things, and left, uncertain when I would return. I had no idea what to do or what would happen next. I knew I would not be here when Caroline got home, and I wasn’t sure what would happen when she read my note.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Where was Charlie? I hadn’t heard from him all day. I held his note in my hand and reread it. God, how could he know about Justin? There was no way! It was over long ago. I was so ashamed that I dedicated my life to Charlie and us, vowing nothing like this would ever happen again.
I worked so hard to erase Justin from my life and had succeeded, not thinking about him since we ended it. He was married and lived with his family on the west coast.
Why now, How, What did it mean to us? God, please don’t let my stupidity and selfishness destroy my beautiful husband and our life together.
I had to clear this up before it all blew up into a tornado and destroyed our life.
My call went to phone mail: “Charlie, come home. I will tell you about Justin. Just please come home now. I love you!”
I poured a glass of wine. My hands were shaking so badly that I almost spilled them.
I waited, but there was no response, text, or call back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I packed the things I would need, some food and clothes, and put them all in my SUV. There were eight or ten more journals that I had not read, so I took all of them with me. The last one in the box was from 2019-20. I had to read that one.
Once packed up, I headed out.
I needed Caroline to worry, feel fear and loss, and I wanted her to suffer over what she had done and feel my pain. Then we could talk and see what was next.
Two hours away in the Pocono mountains, I headed to my family cabin. It is a hundred-year-old log cabin my great grandfather and great uncle built for hunting deer and fishing. The cabin was mine now.
I did not use the place often, and Caroline had only been there twice. She would never think I was there, and I would be able to think clearly there trying to figure this mess out.
When I got to the village, I met Thomas, who looked after the cabin. I got the key, and we had a beer at the local pub. He is a lovely man, well over eighty now. We chatted for a while, and Thomas sensed something was wrong. After the third beer, I finally told him my problem. It was good to talk to someone much wiser than me.
I talked. Thomas listened as Madeline shared my love for my wife and heartbreak when I discovered she had cheated on me years before. I told him of my anger and confusion about what I should do. Thomas listened, not saying anything as he ordered more beers.
I finished my rambling after almost thirty minutes and three more beers. I am not a big drinker, so I was getting buzzed.
Thomas looked at me; his eyes sparkled, and his white beard framed his face. If he had been a large fat man dressed in red, he could have been Santa Claus. Thomas is a retired lumberjack and had worked with his dad and uncle cutting trees and running a sawmill for over sixty-five years.
He told me his father and grandfather had helped my great grandfather build the cabin all those years ago. He told me, “Charlie, look on the wall, by the potbellied stove, and see their names carved in the wood.”
Then Thomas took my hand in his, “Charlie, you are a good man. Let me tell you a story I think might help you.”
Thomas told me he was married for fifty years to Madeline. They were the same age, born only three weeks apart. They went to the same one-room school, and she graduated, but he didn’t.
They were married after she graduated from school at seventeen. The whole family built them a log house and helped them get started. They didn’t have much, but they had love and family, and that was enough.
Soon they started having babies. After six, they stopped. They struggled to raise six kids in their little house, so their family and friends came together, building a new section of two bedrooms. One for Thomas and Madeline and one for the girls. The boys slept in the loft in the main room.
After their third child, Tina, was born, Madeline had a tough time, causing strife in the family. Suddenly one day, she left, leaving a note. Thomas reached in his pocket and brought out a tattered and torn envelope. He handed it to me. “Read it, Charlie.”
I carefully took out the paper, opened it, and read, “Thomas, I love you and our family more than anything, but I need a short break. I am going to Georgia to Missy’s house for a little while. I am taking Tina with me. Aunt Lily is going to help you while I am gone. I love you, but I need this; please forgive me. Madeline”
My heart was in my throat as I read this note. It was so full of love, and the fact that Thomas carried it with him was something.
I looked at him, “So what happened?”
Madeline stayed gone for two months, then one day, she was back. We had minimal contact while she was away, and I had no idea what she had done there. I knew right away Madeline was different, and something had changed in her. She seemed more distant, and though she picked right up on her mothering, our relationship seemed strained.
After about three weeks, she asked me to take a walk with her in the early spring. We used to take walks often before she left. Many times, we walked down by the waterfall and made love. I am sure we conceived with most of our children there.
I hoped that day we would renew our love there, and that was not how it went. We sat by the waterfall, and Madeline confessed that she had an affair with a man she met in Georgia. A businessman with good looks, education, and money, Edwin was different from anyone she had ever met. He swept her off her feet and into his bed.
She went on to tell me that she had become infatuated with him. He made her feel like a princess. He bought her things and beautiful clothes and showed her off to all his friends. She had never experienced any of this, and quickly they were together every night. He even bought a crib so Tina could be with them. Madeline admitted she almost felt like they were husband and wife. She also revealed that their lovemaking was more beautiful than she had ever imagined. She was falling in love with him.
As you might imagine, this conversation answered my concerns about her behavior, and as I heard the words coming from her mouth, my heart broke, and I saw our marriage and life together crumbling before me. I found it hard to breathe, but shockingly I felt no anger.
I loved Madeline more than anything, and I guess my love for her was so strong that her happiness was more important than anything. I made no reaction to any of what she had said and continued to listen.
She explained that Edwin wanted her to stay with him, and he would help her divorce me. He wanted to marry her, raise our children, and have more of their own. That night they made love for the last time. Edwin didn’t know that she packed up her things the next day, leaving everything Edwin had bought her and boarded a bus for home. After that day, she never spoke to Edwin. Madeline had written him a letter she left with Missy to give him, and that was it!
Charlie, I sat looking into the waterfall, not knowing what to do. Finally, I asked one question. I looked Madeline in the eyes, “Maddy, do you love me?”
Her eyes glowed more than ever, “Yes, Thomas, you and me always. I am here for good; I will never stray again. You can’t get rid of me!” She leaned in, giving me the most passionate kiss, we had ever had. That afternoon we made passionate love and created Jonathan, our second son.
There were never any apologies or discussions about what had happened. After Madeline’s confession, I never doubted her love. She left me for Heaven thirty-four years later.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I listened to this beautiful story.
Thomas took my hand, “Charlie, life is a long road, and there will be flat tires along the way, don’t let one flat tire stop your journey with Caroline. There is so much ahead for you.”
We finished our beers and had dinner together. We talked about lighthearted things and left each other with a big hug. I thanked Thomas for sharing his life with me and promised to look ahead.
As I rode back to the cottage, I decided to talk with Caroline about Justin. To settle my mind, it was over, and he was no threat to us. Unless something else came out unexpectedly, we would move on as if it was just a flat tire.
I slept peacefully that night and rose early, around 5:00 am. I packed up and drove the two hours. I parked down the block and snuck into the house, taking off my clothes as I made my way to our bedroom. The door was partially closed, and I looked through the crack. Caroline was sleeping in her clothes, twisted up in the covers. She must have had a hard night, which was a good thing. She needed to feel the pain I felt but from a different angle.
I moved to the bed and lay beside her. Caroline stirred and quickly sat up, seeing me on the bed in my shorts at T-shirt. She sat back and rubbed her eyes, then started to cry.
I let her cry, not soothing her. She had to come to terms with what she had done and tell me about it in her own time.
“I am back as you requested. Now you need to talk to me. So, dry your eyes and tell me about Justin Payne.” I sat back, resting against the headboard.
Caroline quickly left the bed for the bathroom. She was gone for a while, and she removed her clothes and wore a fluffy white robe when she came out.
“Coffee, please, then I will talk.” She left for the kitchen. I went to the bathroom, washed up, peed, and wore a similar robe, courtesy of The Four Seasons, Maui.
I walked into the kitchen as Caroline popped a second cup into the Keurig. She did not turn to look at me, and I was sure she was in turmoil, as she should be. If things go as I hope, I will not make this any more painful than it is already. Her pain will be self-inflicted by her guilt, which will have a far more significant impact than what I can put on her.
There will be pain coming later once we set the conditions for moving forward. Then I will share the pain as we work through this together.
Caroline finished making our coffee. She joined me at the kitchen table, and she gave me my coffee and offered me a plate of Biscoff breakfast biscuits she had put out.
Caroline’s hands were fidgeting with her cup. I reached over to the counter, pulled the note I had written down, laid it on the table, pushing it over in front of her.
“Can you please tell me about Justin Payne?” I asked.
Caroline tightened up and looked at me. Her eyes were so sad, and her breathing was rough and rapid. She swallowed hard, not knowing how to start.
“How do you know about him?” Caroline asked.
“That is not important. What is important is that you tell me everything about your affair with Justin, leave nothing out and be 100% truthful.”
Caroline looked down. I saw a tear roll off her cheek, dripping on the paper.
She pushed her coffee cup away. Her hands clasped together, and she took a deep breath.
She looked up at me. “Justin was my lover for just over a year!”
“I knew that,” I stated.
She looked at me, confused, not understanding how I could know.
“How could you know? It was so long ago, and why bring it up now?” She asked,
“I will explain later, but first, let’s get down to it. I am getting a little irritated at the dancing around. We are not leaving this table until I am satisfied that I know it all. Do you understand? Now tell me about Justin Payne and my wife, Caroline Phillips’s affair.” I said firmly with a bit of anger in my voice.
Caroline looked at me. Her eyes opened wide as she heard the change in my tone. I hope it clarified I was dead serious, and she needed to get on with it. She took a swallow of her cooling coffee and cleared her throat.
“Justin Payne was an old friend I met in college. We dated a little, but we were more just fuck buddies. He and I could never be together for real, but we loved fucking each other. Anytime we were lonely or horny, we would text or call each other, meet, and spend the night fucking.” She started.
“Once college was over, he moved to Seattle for his job, and I moved to Philadelphia for mine. That was the end. I never heard from him again. But someone had shared a post online that he had gotten married. I was happy for him as you would be for any friend.”
“Six months later, I met you. We dated and married a year later. That was the happiest day of my life. We started our life together, and it was beautiful. We worked hard on our careers and relationship. Things could not have been better. I was so in love with you and you with me. Things were perfect.”
Over two years ago, I was at the one conference I go to each year, and I ran into a college friend Stacy Grooms. I had not seen or heard from her since college. There were over 3,000 attendees at this conference, so how random is it that I would be standing in the coffee line, and there she was.
Anyway, we agreed to get dinner that night and catch up. She texted me later that she had seen another college friend, and I wouldn’t believe who it was. She didn’t tell me who, but later, when she met me, walking up with her was Justin Payne.
Stacy had not told him it was me we were meeting either. Well, it was an awkward night. I was extremely uncomfortable with him and finally decided to leave; faking a headache, I slipped off to my room.
I hoped that he couldn’t find me. The animal attraction had instantly resurfaced, and memories of us together flooded my brain. I felt my pussy getting wet. That frightened me. I did not want to be alone with him. I couldn’t cheat on you, Charlie.
I knew I had told Stacy my room number, and I prayed she did not tell Justin.
I called you that night, it was late, and you didn’t answer. I am sure you were asleep by then, but I needed to hear your voice to bolster my resolve. It was the third night without you, and I was getting hornier each night.
It was only 9:30, so I put on the TV and watched an action movie. I was about to fall asleep when my phone dinged. I picked it up; it was Justin. I opened the text: “Caroline, I loved seeing you tonight. You looked amazing, even better than before. You were uneasy seeing me, and I understand. I know we are both married. I would never do anything to damage that. I would like to see you, though, if only to have a drink and catch up. If you want to come down, I will be in the bar sitting at a booth on the left. If not, I understand. Good night.”
Charlie, I was so confused. I had not had feelings for anyone but you. But suddenly, these old feelings roared through me. I love you so much, Charlie, but Justin had this animal magnetism that I could not resist. I reasoned that I could go down and talk with him and then come back and go to sleep. I know now that was stupid thinking.
I dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, but no undies. I went down to the bar, looked in, and saw him texting on his phone. I almost walked away, but I just had to talk with him. So, I walked in. Justin saw me, and he dropped his phone on the table, jumped up, and hugged me. Almost four years of lust poured out of both of us. We never had a drink, and as fast as possible, we were in my room naked in bed. That night was magical. The sex was incredible. His body was even better than I remembered, and his cock was hard and ready. That night was about Justin and me, no comparisons, no discussion about his wife or you. Sad to say, but at that moment, neither of you existed.
We fucked, sucked, and devoured each other for the next twelve hours, making up for the past four years apart. We went on until we couldn’t go anymore, and I had to call out sick for my shift on the floor.
We took a break, ordered room service for more fuel, ate, and once we recharged, we started another fuckathon for the rest of the day. Later we took a break, showered separately, and he called his wife, and I called you Charlie. I never lied to you when we talked, Charlie, but I omitted things and kept the call short.
Justin was leaving the following day, so we continued through the night, sleeping only a few hours and fucked the rest of the time. Justin left, and I was glad he was gone. The night had been incredible, but I wanted to be with you, not him. I was relieved that I was through with Justin forever.
For the rest of the week, I was a complete wreck. I had spent almost two days in bed with another man cheating on my husband. How could I do that? I felt so sick that I vomited off and on for the next day, unable to do any work. I was petrified of coming home and seeing you. I knew I had to tell you about what I had done, but I knew you would leave me if I did.
I decided I would not lie to you, and if you did ask me a direct question about cheating, I would tell you everything and hope for the best. Thank God you never suspected anything, so you never asked. I didn’t have to know you and destroy our life like I am doing now.
After I got home, there was no communication with Justin, so things moved on as before. God, Charlie, I loved you so much and still do. Our life was even better after I committed myself to you 1000%.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK, I didn’t know about that part, so thank you for being honest with me. So, when did the real affair start?
About three months later, I got a Facebook message from Justin. He had changed companies and was working for a company as a troubleshooter. He went onsite to companies to resolve their IT problems or to help implement new software. It was all Greek to me.
Anyway, his company had a contract with a company in Wilmington, DE. He was the lead engineer. The agreement was fifteen months or until he completed the project. So, Justin would be living in Wilmington for the project’s duration.
Charlie, you might suspect that I was happy about this, but I was not! I wanted him out of my life forever, and I thought he was. I had you, the man I loved, the man I wanted to be with the rest of my life, the man I wanted to build our family with and have our babies. I wanted only you, Charlie, just YOU!
Part 2 Coming Soon
Copyright © MaxxNRachelWrenn
All rights reserved. No part of this story can be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means without written permission from the author. All characters are fictitious, and any similarity to actual people, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental unless otherwise stated.
This story contains mature material, strong language, and sexual situations intended for mature readers.
All characters depicted in this story participating in any sex act are of legal age, over 18 years old.
