“Caroline let’s take a break. You make us more coffee while I cook eggs and toast for us to eat.”
“I can’t eat. I am about to vomit. Suddenly gagging she ran to the bathroom.
I heard her throwing up. It sounded terrible. Her nerves were overwhelming her.
I made scrambled eggs and rye toast for us.
When Caroline came back into the room, I gave her a plate of food and more coffee.
“You need to eat; you will feel better.” We ate, and she calmed down enough to continue.
“I didn’t respond to Justin for several days. When I did, I told him, ‘Justin stay away from us. I don’t want to see you. You have a wife and a baby, so pay attention to them and leave me alone.’”
“That seemed to work until he started the job a few weeks later. I began getting texts from him wanting to see me. I tried to fend him off. Then one day a month later. He showed up here at our house. It was a Friday evening. It just happened to be the weekend you were off playing golf with the guys.”
“I refused to let him in. I kept the door locked. He stood outside pleading with me, becoming very loud. I was afraid the neighbors would see him, so I finally let him in. Charlie that was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life.” Caroline dropped her head down and started to cry again.
“Charlie, I am so sorry. I could not resist him. I could not understand it, but I could do nothing to stop him. I was putty in his hands. He wanted to take me here in our house, in our bed. I refused to let anything happen here. Justin left and got a hotel. He texted me the address. Later that night after I talked to you, I went to him. That was the beginning.
“I stayed with him that night and the whole next day. He made love to me and fucked me until I couldn’t take anymore. I left him coming home at dinner time. I was distraught at what I had done. I vomited all night and the next day. I finally got it together late Sunday afternoon before you came home. If you remember I was in bed and told you I had a stomach bug and could not be around, you.”
“You took care of me, helping me through what you thought was a virus, but in reality, I was a cheater, living through the aftermath of what I had done.”
“My level of shame was like nothing I had ever felt. I was a useless slut that cheated on my loving husband. Even so, I couldn’t stay away. He called and I went. Over the next few weeks, I saw Justin four times, then it was once a week for a year. The only weeks we didn’t see each other were when he went home to his wife, or we were away.”
“It became routine. My shame level was still there, so I worked hard to ensure you never knew anything was going on. Charlie, I have never sacrificed you for Justin, NEVER! You always came first with me and always will.”
“It was such a crazy thing, I thought I was losing it. My love for you was the only thing that kept me sane. I was living another life during the days I was with Justin. It was never a long time, only for a couple of hours of powerful fucking then we were done. It was fun, but as time went along, I enjoyed it less and less. We had both grown tired of it and were both happy it was over once his contract was up.”
“I promise you Charlie. I never once contacted Justin asking to get together with him. Justin always initiated what we did, he was in control.”
“On our last day together, before Justin left, he fucked me for three hours. I really didn’t enjoy it. I took his phone from him and erased my contact information, every email, and every text string. Then I looked him in the eyes, kissed his cockhead goodbye and told him, “NEVER CALL ME AGAIN, THIS IS OVER!” I dressed and walked out without another word being spoken.”
“Charlie, that was two years, three months, and eleven days ago. I have felt guilty and ashamed every day since. Not because of missing Justin. No, it was because I knew I had cheated on you. I also knew that somehow, someway, you would find out, or I would eventually have to admit it to you one day. That has haunted me every minute of every day for all this time.”
Caroline dropped her head onto her crossed arms on the table, sobbing.
I got up and went to my office. I brought back the two journals I had found and read from front to back; they were burned into my memory.
Caroline’s story mirrored the journals to the letter, so I knew she was being honest. I was pleased with that and felt she wanted to come clean, whatever the ramifications were. She had to clean her soul.
I looked at Caroline. She had stopped sobbing and was sniffling now. Her whole face was sad. She was shaking, having no idea what would happen next.
I had said little in the two hours Caroline had taken to tell her story, and I knew all of it from her journals.
She looked at me, “What is in the bag?”
“We will get to that in a minute,”
“Caroline, I have listened to you and believe you. You were so weak for Justin; he could control you. I also believe that though you continued to fuck him every week, you never loved him and did not have meaningful feelings for him. As time went along, there was sex, just the thrill only. I also believe that you have loved me the whole time we have been together.” I was not giving her anything though.
“The only important questions now are, 1) How do we move on now? 2) How do I ever trust you again? 3) Do I want to worry about Justin resurfacing again and destroying our lives forever?” You are the only one that can provide the key to these answers then I will decide if I can accept your position.”
Caroline sat looking at me as the questions swirled in her head. I could see confusion and strain on her face. This was the defining moment and Caroline knew it. What she said now would decide our future.
“So, Caroline, how do you answer those three questions?” I had mixed emotions and needed her answers, but I was fearful of what she would say.
Caroline looked into my face, looking for answers. I offered none.
She looked away, swallowed hard, shook her head, and sighed.
“I love you, Charlie. I think I have loved you since the first day I met you. I never wanted anything to ever come between us. But unfortunately, what I did years ago has done exactly that. Right now, you may hate me. You don’t trust me. You don’t know if you love me anymore. Even though it was years ago and until now had no effect on our relationship. I still did it and it was 100% my fault. I have no real excuse for what I have done, or do I have any real reason for why I did it.”
“What I do know is, what I did was not because of anything you did, or didn’t do, for me, to me, or about me. You have been the perfect husband and partner. I could never have found another man that could fill your shoes or our bed better than you.”
Caroline paused, took a swallow of water. Her eyes were almost dead. She started again.
“The answer to question one is up to you. I think back to two days ago. We were fine, better than fine we were great, that day and every day before, all the way back for over six years. Every day was wonderful, loving satisfying for you and me in every way.”
“What changed? Nothing changed.”
“Accept you discovered a terrible thing that I did. It has never affected anything in our lives. I never treated you differently. We never made love less, and we may have even made love more often because of it. We had a great life every day, until Wednesday.”
“If I had thrown all my journals out like I had planned, you would have never seen them, and we would not be having this discussion and the pain we have both suffered these last days would have never happened. There would be no doubt about my love for you or your love for me. There would be no doubt of my trustworthiness. There would be no three questions. The only question would be where we are going out to dinner tonight.”
“The during the hours that I was seeing Jason, it was like I was in a parallel universe. What happened there never crossed over into our life, so it never affected anything we did, how I felt, or had any effect on our love life. I always gave myself to you as your loving wife, which I was, and still am today. I never held back, I never thought of Jason when I was with you. I never compared the two of you. You were, no you are, my husband, my true love, and my only lover now and for always, going forward. I was devoted to you then and still am, except for three hours a week. During that time, I sadly admit, I was Jason’s.”
“I consciously knew what I was doing was wrong, but I had no control over it. It was like I was programmed to respond to him whenever he called me. When I heard his voice, I instantly wanted him. My body reacted like he was a drug that I was addicted too. I always started to tremble, my pussy became very wet, and I craved having his cock inside me. It was like I was a recovering Jason addict, and every sexual fix satisfied my need until the next one.” Caroline’s had tears in her eyes again, that slowly rolled down her cheeks. She brushed them away with the back of her hand.
“Understand I am not making light of what I did. I must ask you can you honestly tell me that at any time in our marriage during those years when I treated you any different than I treated you the rest of the days we have been together?”
“So, Charlie, I ask you what you would answer to question one?”
It was a fair question at this point, because if I felt that we could not survive the other questions were meaningless.
I looked at Caroline, studied her face, looked at her hands fidgeting on the table, desperate for my answer.
“I love you, Caroline. I have always loved you and I imagine I will always love you. I have a tough time understanding how I could have not sensed something was happening for over a year. How could I have been so blind or was it really that you disassociated yourself from us for the hours you were with Jason so effectively. How could that be, how do you do that, HOW?”
I knew it was a rhetorical question for there was no honest answer, Caroline just did it.
I looked at her as she started to cry harder now. Her hands covered her face as she realized her greatest fear was seconds from coming true.
“So Caroline, how do we get by this and move on? Is that possible? I must ask you. If the table were turned and you were sitting where I am what would your answer be?” I sat back leaving it to her to answer.
Caroline dried her eyes and blew her nose. She looked at me and took a deep breath. “Charlie, it is impossible to answer that question. I don’t know how. I am not you; I do not feel the hurt I have put on you. The hurt I feel is for doing this to you, to us. All I know is that it is two years in the past. It will never happen again. Jason Payne is dead to me. You are my husband, the man I love, and will always love. I know I could never walk away from you, ever!”
Tears flowed again.
Caroline paused.
“Charlie, let me try to put it another way. I have devoted every minute of every day that I have spent with you to be the best, most loving wife I can be to you. I have never denied a request for anything and my affection for you has been genuine 100% of the time.”
“For those one hundred and forty hours I was with Jason, you and I did not exist, so there was never a negative thought, humiliating thought or statement, you and I were never mentioned in Jason’s presence.”
“That may sound worse, but it was how I dealt with it, so it never did affect us. You were my top priority, not Jason. He was, gosh I really don’t know what he was. He was a human sex toy. I played with him like a vibrator. Using him for pleasure, then putting him away until his next call. That may sound silly but that is how I see it.
I looked at her, a slight smile showed on my face. I believed everything Caroline had told me. She had been honest and that was my top priority.
It was clear to me what I was going to do. I had decided before we ever started this talk that I would not leave her if she was truthful. Honestly, if I had never seen the journals I would have never known about Jason Payne.
During all our years together, I had never felt anything but devoted love from Caroline. There had never been even the smallest blip in our relationship during her time with Jason, so she never allowed that transgression to enter our life.
“Caroline, look at me. I have made my decision.”
She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes and cheeks clearing away the tears. I could see fear all over her face, she was shaking. I had tortured her enough. I am convinced that she genuinely loves me and would never allow anything like this to happen again.
“Caroline, I love you. I cannot live my life without you. What you did many years ago was evil and humiliating to me, with total disregard for me and our marriage. I think you have seen the pain I have been in. I have purposely inflicted pain on you to make you realize how destructive your behavior was. You needed to suffer along with me through this mess. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“Oh God Charlie, I am so sorry, I love you so much. I have no words to truly tell you how badly I feel for what I did to you and us. It was horrible of me. Please forgive me and give me a chance to make things right. I need you in my life and you need me. We have babies to make and a life to live, please let’s do that together.”
I moved beside Caroline. I pulled her into my arms and looked down at her. “Caroline three days ago we were fine, and we are fine now. We are together forever unless you get stupid and let this happen again. I love you and want you in my life every day.”
There are conditions so if we agree on them, we will move on as if nothing happened. There is one mandatory condition you need to agree to first. We will both sign a Post Nuptial Agreement, protecting each of us and holding us inline. If either of us cheats after this date, the cheater will walk away from the marriage with little or nothing! We will work out the other conditions over the next few days.
Caroline looked at me shocked about the Post Nuptial Agreement, but said nothing, accepting she deserved this condition, so she did not protest.
“I have one last question; we need to rededicate ourselves to each other. We need to restate our vows and declarations to one another. So, Caroline my love, will you marry me again?”
“Oh yes, yes, yes, Charles, I would love to marry you again.”
Wonderful, so where are we going to dinner tonight?
“That was two questions,” Caroline pointed out.
We laughed and kissed passionately.
We never made it to dinner. We ate left over soup and grilled cheese sandwiches after three hours in bed.
Life was once again beautiful. Now it was time to make babies. Who knows we may have started already?
Copyright © MaxxNRachelWrenn
All rights reserved. No part of this story can be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means without written permission from the author. All characters are fictitious, and any similarity to actual people, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental unless otherwise stated.
This story contains mature material, strong language, and sexual situations intended for mature readers.
All characters depicted in this story participating in any sex act are of legal age, over 18 years old.
