Hello everyone. Welcome to another edition of The Human World. I’m your host, David Attenbuggo. Humans and insectkind have co-existed for centuries. In the past, it was thought that there were not too many species of humans, at least in comparison to us. But as the years have passed, we have learned that humans do indeed have a variety of species that rival our own. Species such as the Blue Uniformed Police Officer, the Scruffy Bearded Transient and, of course, the Big Titted Common Street Walker were only recently discovered. And, even more recently, the discovery of the Short Skirted Pantyless Pedestrian in last week’s episode. The discovery of which, unfortunately, ended tragically with the loss of Craig, our veteran camera mantis. May he rest in flattened pieces.
With so many species of humans, it was thought that we may have more in common with them than previously thought. For instance, could humans have symbiotic relationships with plants, as we do? For those who don’t know, symbiotic relationships, or symbiosis, as it is more commonly known, is when two unrelated organisms form a long-term mutually beneficial biological relationship. Relationships such as our own honeybees with flowers. As we know, bees provide flowers with pollen which the flowers use to reproduce. In return, the flowers provide the bees with flower porn, which the bees take back to the hive so they can jerk out more honey for the humans to do whatever it is they do with it. One can only hope they’re not eating that stuff.
As for humans forming symbiotic relationships with plants, one need look no further than here, on this tiny island known as, Sedusa. It is here, after many years of evolution, that a certain plant has found a way to dominate all other vegetation on the island. And that plant is what you see behind me. To the naked eye, it may appear to be several species of plants. In fact, all of what you see, is actually just one plant. And this plant is known as, a Sedusa Tree. At one time, the Sedusa Tree was not that common. All of that changed when the island became a popular vacation spot for female humans wanting to get away from husbands and boyfriends. So popular was it, that the island banned male humans from even visiting. It was soon after this policy was put into place that the Sedusa Tree took on a dominant role, especially along the multiple jogging trails that cover the island.
And that domination came with the help of one particular species of human. And, as luck would have it, here comes one now. It’s a Long-Legged Ponytailed Jogger. And what a handsome specimen she is. If she has been jogging for some time, she may need to relieve herself. Since humans are somewhat shy about doing so around others, they may look for a place where they can have some privacy. Sedusa Trees know this, and through the miracle of evolution, provides enough cover so the female can feel safe to do so. Unfortunately, this female, did not need to go.
But wait. Here comes another. And she is an even handsomer specimen. Yes, she’s slowing down. Now she’s looking around to see if the coast is clear. This is so exciting! Yes, she’s nearing where she needs to be. Little does she know, the Sedusa Tree is actually guiding her to the perfect spot, by providing a path that leads to an opening, with enough cover for privacy and enough room to maneuver comfortably.
One more look around and the female is now ready to do something that is unique to humans. In order to relieve themselves, human females must first shed their lower exoskeletons. Underneath is a soft, fleshy and extremely sensitive covering. Humans are particularly vulnerable at this time and, therefore, try to relieve themselves as quickly as possible so they can reattach their lower exoskeletons. Sedusa Trees know this and have developed a rather unique method of their own to keep the female in this exposed position longer than is necessary. And its reason for doing so is what established the Sedusa Tree’s dominance on the island.
As the female finishes, letting the last droplets escape from her hugga bugga stick receptacle, the Sedusa Tree makes its first move. Beating its branches together creates a gentle breeze. It does so, in order to fool the female into thinking that the surrounding leaves are merely being blown around her. The leaves’ gentle touching and stroking has a hypnotic effect on the female. Although she is through with relieving herself, she remains in the same position. Now it’s time for the Sedusa’s velvety grass-like undergrowth to work their magic.
Slowly, the strands of undergrowth rise up from the ground, twisting and swaying before meeting the female’s underside. At first, she is startled, checking under herself to see what’s going on. We have reached a critical point. If the female is not receptive, she may just put her lower exoskeleton back on and leave. However, this is a mature Sedusa and knows not to push things too far. It stops what it’s doing. It knows that if the female stays in position or, better yet, lowers herself even further, that the game is on. And, as luck would have it, she’s lowering herself.
The undergrowth resumes their twisting and swaying, gently brushing the female’s more sensitive areas. As they are doing so, longer leaves, measuring up to fifteen inches in length, slide under her upper exoskeleton and, gently, begin caressing the tips of her thorax floppers. With the female offering no resistance, it is time for the moment we have all been waiting for. Springing from beneath the dirt is a rather remarkable adaptation: the Sudusa Tree’s root. Instead of getting its nutrients from the ground, like other plants, the Sedusa has found a better source. And that source comes from the Long-Legged Ponytailed Jogger.
Slowly, but surely, the root continues its upward movement. As it does so, it begins to pulse and vibrate. Its target is an area located near the top of the female’s hugga bugga stick receptacle. This area is particularly sensitive, and the pulses and vibrations make it even more so. Here it comes. Yes, it has hit its mark. The female signals her acceptance by closing her eyes and exhibiting an almost pained expression, betrayed only by a slight smile. Her body shaking triggers the Sedusa to send up a second root. This one has a different target… the hugga bugga stick receptacle opening.
This second root, though similar, is different than the first, in that, it secretes a slippery substance, making penetration easier. Just as it gets to the opening, it hesitates. The penetration must be felt in increments. By doing this, the Sedusa stimulates the female, which, in turn, causes the female to produce the liquid nutrient the Sedusa thrives on. Once the penetration has reached its capacity, the root swells up, soaking up the liquid like a sponge. The combination of the two roots creates immense, almost unbearable, pleasure for the female. Even with other Long-Legged Ponytailed Joggers jogging by, she can’t even try to cover herself. All inhibition has been lost. She can only focus on her pleasure now.
She’s nearing the point of no return. Try as she might, the pleasure has become so strong, she can’t even control her movements. The female knows that any thrust of her hip could bring this all to a climax. Her body is shaking now. Her face is turning red. And there it is! One thrust of the hip, followed by her body stiffening up and… the final collapse. For now, the female will rest. It’s not like she has a choice. The root that is still inside her will continue to absorb liquid until it has had enough. Once it gets to that point, the root will shrink and pull out of her. After the female regains her strength, she may feel some embarrassment, and will quickly put her lower exoskeleton back on, before continuing on her way. Regardless of whether she does or not, the female will most certainly be back for more.
It is this certainty that has resulted in the Sedusa’s dominance. You see, honeybees have become quite fond of Sedusa Tree porn. The ones that show them with Long-Legged Ponytail Joggers. And the Sedusas provide that to them at no charge. The bees love this arrangement so much, that they quit watching flower porn, resulting in them not binging pollen to the flowers and other plants, causing them to die off.
There is another benefit in this arrangement as well. The bees like this porn so much, that a single bee can jerk out as much as five gallons of honey in as little as one day. In fact, the island is producing so much honey that it needs no other exports to sustain itself.
That will do it for this week’s episode. Be sure to tune in next time when we’ll go in search of a species of human that is only rumored to exist… the Honest Politician. That’s next time on The Human World. Join us, won’t you?