It being a Friday night, my eldest daughter Zoey was staying at a friend’s house. She and her three other friends had a ‘sleepover club’ and would stay at someone’s house each Friday night. Next Friday it was my turn to host, which I secretly dreaded, although the girls could entertain themselves. All I had to do was tell them to be quiet once it got past eleven pm. My other daughter Sasha was in bed by now so that was a distraction I didn’t have to deal with.
I turned the shower onto the hottest possible setting I could handle and stripped down, tying my hair in a messy knot on top of my head. I didn’t even bother to remove my makeup properly. I just got in the shower and stood underneath the mildly scalding water and let it hit me. I washed all over my body; every inch of skin, every crevice of my being was washed. As I washed myself Derek’s semen started dripping from within me, leaving a sticky trail down my inner thighs. I scrubbed that area for a solid five minutes, wanting every trace of him gone from me.
I scrubbed my face rigorously, the mixture of makeup and soap stinging my eyes until I wept, except I wasn’t crying because of the soap in my eyes, I was crying because of what I was doing. I was turning into a bad person. I was turning into a woman who was betraying her husband and her marriage. I was becoming someone I hated, someone I didn’t want to be. I was turning into what Derek wanted me to be. Derek, I thought. That man had a hold over me that no one else had ever had before. He was bad for me, I knew this and so did he, but I kept going back to him. The fact that he was so bad for me made it good.
I stood under the water for a further ten minutes, scrubbing and washing my body over and over again until my skin was almost glowing red. After I turned off the shower and dried, I dressed into my pyjamas and went to see Bryan in his study, which was where he spent most of his time after dinner. If he wasn’t in the study after dinner then he was usually out of the house. The study was like Bryan’s secret little hovel. It was where he worked or sometimes watched porn, away from me and away from the kids. I didn’t have a problem with it. I knew he did it, he never hid it from me nor attempted to.
Sometimes, back in the day, when our sex life was exciting and daring, I had joined him in watching porn in the study when the girls were in bed. A few times we had even had sex in here. But not tonight. Tonight Bryan was sitting at his desk, typing away, working on his thesis, which was all-consuming to him at the moment. At least with him working on this dissertation it was keeping him occupied and he wasn’t paying attention to other things around the house.
“Hey,” I said, standing in the doorway of the study, too scared to cross the threshold.
Bryan turned around from his computer screen and smiled at me.
“Hey you,” he greeted me. He pushed his chair back slightly and patted his lap. Tentatively I crossed the small space and sat down on his lap, drawing my knees up to my chest. “How was your day?” Bryan asked.
“Long,” I said. “Boring. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here for dinner tonight, or to see Sasha off to bed.”
I had lied to Bryan about an after-work function I had to attend. I told him one of the girls from another department wanted to have a dinner meeting. Every time I lied to Bryan I hated myself, but I also marveled, (and not in a good way,) that it was becoming easier and easier for me to lie to him, to make up excuses about why I was late home or why I was out of the house.
“It’s okay,” Bryan said. “You’re busy, I get it.”
“It’s not okay, though. You’re busy as well with your thesis and your work. I need to be here more often for you and the girls,” I told him. I was determined to change. My poor husband couldn’t keep picking the slack up because I dropped everything and ran to Derek whenever he wanted me.
“Meh,” Bryan shrugged. “The girls are easy-peasy. They’re growing up now, they can take care of themselves. Pretty soon we’ll have the whole house to ourselves, and Zoey and Sasha will only speak to us when they need money,” he laughed. I watched Bryan type in a sentence and then delete it, clearly not happy with the way it was worded. “You smell good,” he said.
“Oh,” I managed to utter. Oh dear God, I thought with alarm. Was this his way of telling me that I smelled of sex? Could he smell Derek’s cologne on me? I had scrubbed and cleaned myself until my skin was red and raw. Was it enough? I went into a mental panic.
“Yeah. That new body wash you got is great. You smell like summer fruits, I could almost eat you,” he joked, putting his arm around my waist and rubbing gently. Oh thank God, I thought with relief. He could smell the new honey and mango body wash I had purchased earlier in the week.
“I’m kinda tired,” I said. I could see the light in Derek’s hazel eyes fade and his face sunk a little. I hated doing this to him, I really did. “I’ll arrange for my mom to take Sasha for the day and do something with her and I’ll make it up to you then when we have the house to ourselves.”
“I look forward to it,” Bryan said. I stood up from his lap and stretched, ready for bed.
“Goodnight,” I said, kissing him on the head. I walked towards the door, making to leave when Bryan turned around and faced me.
“Oh Derek rang,” he said.
What? I thought. Oh God, this is it, he knows. Bryan knows about us. Derek lifted the lid on everything. He must’ve rung when I was driving home. It’s because I refused him his one request.
“He did?” I managed to choke out, hoping that my face didn’t look as guilty as I felt on the inside.
“Yeah, he wants to have dinner with us tomorrow night in town, at that new restaurant. Apparently, he knows people, so managed to get a reservation.”
“Great,” I replied. I wished Bryan a goodnight again before making my exit to the safety of our bedroom down the hall. I shut the door behind me and rang Derek on my cell phone.
“Hello, yellow hair, back for more?” he asked mockingly.
“What the hell are you playing at?” I asked.
“Oh relax Janet, it’s just dinner,” he said, knowing exactly what I was talking about.
“It is not just dinner, and you know it. Make up something, cancel the dinner with us, Derek. This can’t happen.”
“I can’t do that, Bryan might become suspicious. It would have to be a pretty big emergency for me to cancel dinner with my two oldest and best friends in the whole world. And I went to a lot of trouble to get that reservation for the three of us. I can’t cancel, Janet. Neither can you and Bryan. Sorry but it looks like we’re spending the evening together, my treat,” he added, which put me on edge.
He would make me repay him in some regard. I just knew it. I had denied him his request of my ass a few hours earlier, he would probably make me do it for him whenever we met up again. Derek was playing mind games with me, he was running circles around me, but deep down I loved it. I loved the dangerous element that was between us, the secrecy made it all the more fun. While I may have loved it, I hated it also. I hated what I was putting myself through and I hated that I was betraying Bryan.
True to my word I made it up to Bryan the next day. It was more for my peace of mind than it was for him. I needed to get over the guilt and the bad feelings of my betrayal and what I was doing, I needed to reassure myself that I was still a good wife and that I was still a good person. But afterwards I still felt guilty and I still felt terrible. The feelings just resurfaced all over again.
I then remembered that we would be having dinner with Derek, his treat. While it was his treat, I was certain that he would make me repay him in some way. He would have a plan set up for me. Part of me was dreading this, while the other part, the part that made me hate myself, was looking forward to it.
It surprised me how effortless and easy-going Derek was in Bryan’s presence, acting as if nothing was happening, acting as if no betrayal was going on at all. Derek was his usual charming self, laughing it up with Bryan, reminiscing about old times and people they used to know. I, on the other hand, was a bag of nerves, wondering if Bryan could tell if there was something between us, wondering if he could read me or the situation, perhaps see something that was there. For the whole evening, I was waiting for his accusation to come out, but it never did, which was a relief for me, but I felt guilty again.
As soon as Bryan excused himself to go to the bathroom, Derek pounced on me. “I need you, Janet,” he told me, looking earnestly into my eyes.
“You had me last night,” I said. “It’s too dangerous to do this again so soon. I feel bad enough already.”
“Those feelings soon fade,” he replied confidently. “Tomorrow afternoon, come around to my house. We can have some fun.”
“Derek no,” I said. “I can’t keep making up excuses.”
“Just send Bryan out to play golf or something. The girls can entertain themselves.”
“Stop, please Derek, just stop,” I said.
“Oh c’mon sweetheart you love it,” he replied, smiling confidently.
He was right. I did love it, no matter how much I tried to deny it to myself. I loved it. Bryan rejoined us at the table and the evening went on as normal, except it wasn’t normal for me. I was already trying to think of something to take away from the house for the afternoon so I could see Derek again. I was falling further and further into his hands, but I couldn’t help myself. I was helpless against his charms.
Fortunately for me, on Sunday afternoon Bryan already had plans with a few of his work buddies who would be coming over to our house to watch the game, drink beer and eat bad food. I managed to talk Bryan into keeping an eye on the girls while I went out to do some shopping and ‘have a girly day.’ I hated lying to him and I hated lying to the girls also, but I wasn’t in control anymore. The sex-craving banshee had taken over. She had been woken up by Derek Greene and now she was starting to take over.
I felt as if the drive across town to Derek’s house was horrendously slow. I couldn’t tell if I was stalling on purpose, or if the car had a mind of its own and the conscience that I seemed to be missing. Finally, when I got to his house I had half a mind to drive away and never see Derek again, but again, that sex-craving banshee made the decision for me and I got out of the car and knocked on the door.
When Derek answered the door he pulled me inside, shut the door quickly behind us, pressed me up against it and kissed me feverishly. I wanted to protest and tell him no, that I couldn’t keep doing this anymore, that I felt terrible and guilty all the time and that it was a life I didn’t want to live, but all the fight was gone from me as we kissed. Derek was draining me, and at that moment all I cared about was Derek, feeling him, touching him and kissing him. He picked me up and took me to through the living room, plonked me down on the sofa and started undressing me with a gentleness that I knew he possessed but hardly ever saw. Certainly, he hadn’t shown this much tenderness with our dealings in the past.
He pulled my top over my head and then slid my pants down my legs, throwing them to the floor. My bra and underwear soon joined the growing piles of clothes and I was completely naked. He leant over and we kissed, his tongue in my mouth, using gentle force with me. He left my mouth and kissed all over my body, sucking my nipples and flicking them with his tongue, which was an exquisite feeling and sent shivers all throughout my body. He dipped his tongue in my belly button and then crawled down the couch, parting my legs gently and kissing the inside of my thighs.
He kissed all over my most private and sensitive area, parting the lips and kissing the pink wetness beneath. I shuddered and bucked my hips against his mouth. He licked over the clitoris, sliding his tongue over the top of it, and then he traced circles around it, making me moan loudly. He sucked on my clit, moving it with his tongue. This man was driving me wild, this man that I was seemingly addicted too, knew exactly what to with me. He slowly slid first one finger inside me, and then a second as he continued to suck on my clitoris.
It was all happening too quickly. The sensations of him rubbing me, sucking and licking was too much. All too quickly could I feel an orgasm build from deep within me, starting up from my toes and slowly buzzing through my body, up my legs, my belly, my breasts and head, until I was drowning under what I felt in that moment was the perfect orgasm. Maybe it was the fact that this oral sex act was hardly ever given to me? Maybe it was because it was Derek, and he and I had such amazing sexual chemistry? Maybe it was the forbidden element? This was delightfully bad yet perfect at the same time.
My hands seemed to place themselves on Derek’s dark head, holding him in place as I rolled and bucked my hips against his mouth, moaning loudly and with reckless abandon, not caring if even the neighbors heard us. Because that was the stage I was in now, not caring. I didn’t care anymore. The feeling seemed to continue on for me, drawing itself out until I could hardly breathe anymore. I was panting and taking large gulps of breath, but Derek stayed there, sucking my clitoris and fingering me, turning me into a mess. Whether it was one long orgasm and another, and then another, and then another, I couldn’t tell but it was amazing all the same. Powerfully amazing. The perfect orgasm.
Derek gently withdrew his fingers from me, slid up my body and then entered me, pressing his full, hard length into me. His strokes were slow and deliberate, he was wanting to draw this out, make it last between us. I wrapped my legs around his hips, drawing him deeper within me, moving with him. We found a rhythm and soon we were in this dance together. This forbidden sexual dance that was bad, naughty and wrong, but oh, so, sensuous and so much fun.
“I want you from behind,” he uttered, before letting out a low moan. He pulled out of me and leant back, and before I knew it I was on all fours and Derek was behind me, pressing into me, holding my hips and thrusting. I was a willing participant in this, moving my hips back onto him, wanting to feel him fully inside me. I had given up full control to the banshee, and she was now moaning loudly and swearing, building up to an orgasm again, as I was sure Derek was. He too had grown louder, panting and groaning, grunting occasionally as well.
He pushed deeper inside me, sped up and came with such intensity that I felt his body shake behind me, which set me off again. By the end of it, neither of us could speak as we flopped down on the sofa, absolutely spent. But I was happy and satisfied. For the first time in a long time I was content, despite what I had just done I was feeling good. Not caring was surprisingly liberating. I still loved Bryan and I was still a family woman, but I would never be the same again, of that I was certain. Things would never be the same again. Not for me, not for Derek, and not Bryan and the girls.
