He was an executive of our company; he had just recently moved to my hometown and took an office at our location. He was very handsome, always well dressed, tall, maybe about 6’3 and always smelled delicious. He had smooth jet-black hair with a hint of grey on the sides. All the girls in the office were swooning over him. He was a little older than me, maybe in his late 40s; the sophistication showing in both his salt and pepper hair and in those deep brown eyes. He didn’t realize the impact he had on the women in the office, or maybe he wasn’t interested, but his disregard made him more alluring.
About a month after he started at our office, he approached me with a new project he had to work on. He said the company was looking for something new and fresh, perhaps a new product. It was normal for executives to pull in associates for added help on projects like these, so I didn’t give it a second thought. I saw it as an opportunity to get a leg in with the corporate office and this meant overtime pay guaranteed. Also, did I mention he was very good looking?
Now don’t get me wrong, yes, he was very handsome and charming, but I love my job and I had no intention of losing it over a little fling with anyone at work, even him. Our office strictly forbade fraternization, especially between upper management and their subordinates. This of course didn’t stop many from having relations that were prohibited, but then again, a lot of those people were terminated because of it.
I was a professional, and I always acted like one with him, at least until our little “incident”. The other girls in the office were obvious in their intentions toward him; constantly looking for reasons to talk to him, wearing skirts that were shorter than their usual; making sure he noticed them. I caught one of them “accidentally” dropping water on her white blouse right in front of him. She walked around the office acting embarrassed as her knock-off Victoria’s Secret bra showed. Their actions were discomfiting, not to mention he never once showed interest. Their behavior was comical to me.
I was going to school to get my bachelor’s in business management; my full intentions were to advance within the company. He was an executive and a recommendation from him would guarantee a promotion, simple as that. I had no interest in romancing him or any other man in the office; my devotion was to my prosperity and not that of being in a relationship with anyone.
I was single and I very much enjoyed it. Although, there was a downfall to being alone, those pesky human urges. I had my toys that kept me at bay, but it was nothing compared to the physical touch of a man.
I had a friend with benefits, more for my benefit than his, but when the urges were getting to be too much, I would call him, and we would go straight to it. There was hardly ever any kind of foreplay. It almost felt businesslike. I’m sad to admit there were a few times I still had to come home and finish the job on my own.
Going back to that almost insignificant night. We had been working endlessly during the regular workday throughout the week, but the deadline to turn in our proposal was today. We didn’t have a choice but to stay late and finish.
After an eleven-hour day, we were finally ready to submit the project, and we were more than ready to head home. Being the gentleman that he was, he offered to walk me to my car; it was already dark out. I was always one of the last ones to arrive at the office and because of it, I usually had to park far from the building.
I took the offer. I was relieved that I didn’t have to walk down the alleyway in the dark on my own. We walked together talking about nothing important. He was charming even when he wasn’t trying to be. I was getting comfortable around him after all that time we had spent together. He was very mellow and there were moments I would forget he was my superior. I would constantly have to remind myself to keep a professional tone during our conversations. He would talk to me as his equal, most likely because everyone else at the office would treat him as if he wasn’t human, and I was more casual with him.
When we got to my car, I offered to return the favor and asked if I could drive him back. To my surprise, he accepted, and we took the short drive around the corner to his car.
Before he got out, we sat in silence for about half a minute until he finally said, “Thank you so much for accepting to work with me on this, I know you think you didn’t have a choice and maybe you didn’t, but I still appreciate it. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to help me.”
His eyes were on me the entire time, and I felt a sense of familiarity.
“I’m glad you asked me. I enjoyed working on something different and I learned a lot from you, so it was my pleasure,” I replied. Trying to sound nonchalant.
“Ok well, good night, and I will see you Monday?” he asked.
“Yep, I’ll be here,” I said in a lively tone.
He stayed for a few seconds longer. It felt as if he wanted to keep talking, like he had more to say, but he couldn’t find the words. He opened the door and got out.
This was the beginning of the end. Like I said, it was almost nothing. Blink and you would have missed it. But after this night, things were never the same.
In the following weeks, we started spending a lot of time together at the office. He would take his break time in my office, and I would take mine in his. We would sit together during lunch, and we started a routine after work. He would walk me to my car, and I would drive him to his. We then would stay in my car for a bit and keep talking, usually about whatever conversation we were having on the way to my car, or we would start a new topic. Again, nothing flirtatious, just two coworkers becoming acquainted. However, our exchanges were more relaxed, and I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that we were becoming too friendly.
He must have been aware that our friendship would be perceived by our coworkers as inappropriate. He would ensure everyone at the office noticed that we kept a professional distance.
For instance, it would have been easier for him to drive me to my car since he was closest to the office. But, if anyone saw me getting into his car, the rumor mill would have started immediately, and so he never offered me a ride. He also kept the door open to our office when we were both inside. During our lunch break, we would sit right in the middle of the cafeteria; everyone could see that we didn’t sit close to each other, and we never exchanged any kind of inappropriate gaze. As it stood, there had been a rumor or two about us potentially dating, no doubt started by one of the envious women in the office. But they were fleeting, so they alarmed neither one of us.
This went on for about five months. The more that time passed, the more that disparity between him and me became less obvious to the two of us.
One morning, I came into the office to see that there was a little gift box on my desk. I slowly took off the bow and opened it. Inside was a keychain of the liberty bell. I stood there curiously, frowning. Who had put it there? And why?
I knew that many of the men in the office admired me. They made it glaringly obvious. I am tall for a girl 5’7, hourglass shaped and very fit. My home away from home was the gym, and I loved to weight train. Though I hardly wore provocative clothes to work, I knew the effect I had on men, regardless. It could have been anyone in the office that gave me such an odd gift.
I was deep in thought when suddenly, he jumped inside the office yelling, “Surprise!!”
I jumped up and snarled at him, “What are you doing crazy?!”
“Our project got accepted! They want us to present our idea to the other executives at the main corporate office!” he said, still yelling.
We were about to go on a week trip to the corporate office in Philadelphia! That explained the odd keychain.
“That’s so freaking awesome!” I yelled back and walked over to him with the full intention of hugging him in excitement. Just as I was about to reach him, I stopped myself and offered my hand to shake instead.
“Congratulations,” I said and extended my hand to him.
He replied, “Congratulations to you! This is more your project than mine. I intend to give you all the credit, it was all your idea. And if, no wait, when, it gets approved, this will mean a huge promotion for you.”
He grabbed my hand, but instead of shaking it, he pulled me in for a hug. We had never physically been close enough to touch, much less hug. It was instantaneous, yet it was enough to give me a stomach full of butterflies.
“Ok, we only have two weeks to prepare for the presentations, so be ready to pull some late nights to get this going,” he continued.
He turned and started walking out of my office. As he did, he clapped his hands once loudly and yelled “Woo-hoo!!”
I felt a flash of red come across my face as the entire office looked over at the commotion he had created. I was embarrassed, but I thought it was the cutest thing and I smiled; he was celebrating my successes, and it made me giddy.
During those following two weeks, our conversations were super focused on the project; we were spending even more time together. We talked to each other like we had known each other for years. The intimidation I felt from his position was completely gone. He was so laid back; it was easy for me to talk to him as an equal. He had truly become a close friend that I trusted. The best part was I felt I could be myself with him.
It was the last Friday before our trip. Our flight left that Sunday morning and so this was really the last day to do any final touches on the presentation. It was nearing 8 pm and both of us were exhausted.
“Ok, I think it’s time we called it quits. I don’t think there is much more we can do. It’s perfect as it is. What do you say we go to that bar down the street and make a few toasts for good luck?” he asked.
I hesitated, as comfortable as we were with each other; we had never actually gone anywhere together outside of the office, other than that short walk to my car every day, of course. There was another line we were about to cross.
He must have sensed my hesitation. “Please,” he pleaded, looking at me with those you-know-you-can’t-say-no-to-me-eyes that he had shown a few times before. He was so hard to resist even without the added charm. “Everyone is gone for the day. It’s not like anyone will see us leaving together,” he added.
“Yeah, ok let’s go, after the week we’ve had I could really use a beer. Let’s go in my car and I’ll drive you back?” I asked.
I knew we were alone at the office, but it was Friday and sometimes people would stick around after work and drink in the parking lot. I didn’t want to take the risk of someone seeing us drive away together in his car. He nodded and closed his computer.
We walked towards my car exhausted and in silence; I imagined both of us were thinking about the week to come and how much was at stake with this project. If all went well, this could skyrocket both of our careers, even if he gave me all the credit.
I was so concentrated in my thoughts that I didn’t realize there was a pothole in the street. I stepped right into it, losing my footing. I almost fell, but he lunged toward me and caught my arm. He pulled me toward him before I hit the ground and held me close to his chest. I looked at him in a bit of shock and stared straight at his eyes.
I hadn’t noticed he had a hue of green in the brown of his eyes. They were beautiful, mesmerizing.
He held me tight as if letting me go would cause me to fall into an endless pit.
“Are you ok?” he asked. He was so close to me it almost sounded like a whisper. He was staring straight at me, and I could see the concern in his eyes.
“Yes,” I responded almost as gently as he had asked. I finally got my footing and could compose myself as he let me go from his embrace.
“Thanks to you! That could have been a nasty fall,” I continued.
I tried to sound chirpy as if it wasn’t a huge deal, and it really wasn’t, but I felt butterflies in my stomach.
I felt a yearning to be back in his arms, in that warm place that made me feel safe, but I knew this was impossible. He was my boss’s boss, making him my boss, therefore strictly forbidden. To add to that, he probably didn’t feel the same way. He had made no advancement towards me, other than being friendly. If he had feelings for me other than friendship, he never showed it.
We continued walking towards my car, saying nothing when I got a hint of his cologne.
“Dior?” I asked. I recognized it right away, as it was one of my favorite brands.
“What was that?” he asked. I had just caught him in deep thought. I will always wonder what he was thinking so intently about.
“Your cologne, I think it’s on my blouse now,” I said as I lifted the neck of my blouse to my nose to see if it really came from me, and sure enough, it had penetrated his scent.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about that. But yes, it’s Sauvage from Dior,” he said. He sounded sincerely apologetic.
“No worries,” I said, trying to sound giddy. I wanted him to be assured that I was not worried about smelling like him at all.
“Besides, it’s one of my favorites. I don’t mind it at all,” I said. Immediately, I looked down as I realized I was being flirtatious without intending to be. I blushed.
“I’m sure after this week you can afford to send your blouse to dry cleaning,” he said with a chuckle.
“Oh, come on! Don’t jinx us! But I hope you are right,” I replied.
I couldn’t tell him the truth; I was expecting the smell to remain on my shirt when I got home. The smell ignited a fire inside me I knew would only be quenched with some privacy and alone time with one of my many toys. I visualized myself following the scent down a rabbit hole.
We finally made it to my car; my thoughts were all over the place as I drove.
The bar was dead for a Friday night. We found two chairs next to each other at the bar table. He ordered two shots of tequila and two beers. We cheered for good luck, took our shots, and continued with drinking our beer.
“Are you nervous about the trip?” he asked.
“Yeah, I am. It’s a lot to gain if we get it approved. I could really use the salary bump. But to be honest, if it doesn’t go through, I’m ok with where things are now.” I leaned over to tap him with my shoulder, letting him know I was talking about our friendship.
He replied, “No matter what happens with the project, working on this with you has been the best thing to happen to me. Thank you for being an awesome friend.” He leaned over to give me a side hug.
Friend?! Dagger straight to the heart.
“Awe, you’re too nice,” I said, giving him a little nudge. “Let me get us another round and then do you want to play some darts?” I asked, as I got up and signaled the barmaid for two more beers. I started walking toward the dartboard, not waiting for his response.
“Darts? Are you good?” he asked as followed me over to the dark corner where the dart machine stood.
I answered honestly, “I’ve never played, but it looks easy enough.”
I grabbed a dart and threw it at the board. It bounced off the rim and landed on the floor. We busted out laughing. I loved hearing his laughter, even when it was at my expense; it made me smile every time.
“Not as easy as it looks, is it?” he asked with a mocking smirk on his face. “Here, let me show you.”
He grabbed me from my waist and pulled me gently in front of him, facing the wall to the left of us.
“Pivot your right leg at an angle like this,” he said while slightly placing his hand between my leg right above my knee and motioning my foot to an angle. His warm hand on my leg sent a flutter through me.
“Make sure your elbow is slightly bent and let go of the dart when it passes your face, like this,” he said. He grabbed my hand, pulled my arm with his and we threw the dart together, bull’s eye!
I jumped excitedly. “No way!!! that was awesome!” I exclaimed. I turned to look at him. We were so close to each other I could feel the heat of his body against mine. I looked up at his eyes. Being this close to him sent a tingle between my legs, and I felt my nipples harden almost instantly. I felt my legs buckle and I could feel my face turning red.
What was happening? What was I thinking? This, whatever this was, had to stop. I needed to compose myself and remember who he was.
I moved out of his way and gestured for him to go next. He must have noticed the redness in my cheeks because he flashed me a sexy smile, as if he knew exactly what he had caused.
He got the dart and threw his turn, perfect bull’s eye.
“So, do you want me to help you throw another one?” he asked. He motioned me to go in front of where he was standing to show me again.
I should have said no, I should have told him ‘It’s ok, we should probably call it a night.’ I should have gone home and masturbated to his scent on my blouse. I had plenty of images of him to fantasize the whole night. I should have walked away. I knew better. I should have done better.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I said, “Yes, please.”
I turned to nestle myself in front of him again as he pulled me even closer to him from my hips. This time I was so close to him I could feel his shaft pressing on my back. He leaned over to my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my neck. I felt goosebumps forming as he whispered, “Are you ready?”
I nodded, not able to say anything. He grabbed my hand and lifted my arm to throw the dart, another bull’s eye.
Only this time, there was no celebration. I wanted to stay in this position a bit longer. He must have been thinking the same because he also didn’t move. We stood like this for a couple of seconds when I felt his left arm wrap around my waist and pull me closer. I felt his excitement. It had grown. He then wrapped his right arm around my chest and gave me a squeeze as he leaned over and kissed the side of my neck softly. Everything seized to exist, and it felt as if we were alone in the bar. I was ready to give my entire life away at this moment.
I finally turned around and wrapped my arms around his neck. We both leaned in and gave in to a passionate kiss. His lips were full and soft. I let my mouth part and he pushed his tongue against mine as we hungrily continued kissing. I felt his left hand move to my ass as he gave me a gentle squeeze. I entwined my fingers in his hair. I was completely undone.
As if we were reading each other perfectly, we both slowly came to a stop. I gave him a final peck and gently pushed myself back. I opened my eyes and looked at him for a few seconds. His eyes were so intense on me; I couldn’t look away.
But then, just like that, the horror of what happened smacked me in the face.
I pushed back even more and apologized as if I had the full blame for the passion happening between us.
“I’m so sorry. I think we are both kind of tipsy. This shouldn’t have happened. We both could get in so much trouble. We can’t afford to lose our job,” I said, all in a hurry.
He pulled me again towards him, a little more aggressive than I think he was intending to.
“Calm down, this wasn’t your fault. To be honest, I had been wanting to do that since the moment I first met you. If anyone is to blame, it’s me,” he replied. He looked into my eyes, pleading that I forgave any indiscretion on his part.
“No, it was both of us. I think spending all this time together and the alcohol it was a small lapse in judgement. Let’s just forget it and try to go back to how we were. Do you think you can?” I asked him. I was hoping he would say, ‘No, let’s run away together and forget all our responsibilities at work.’ And then he would take me back in his arms and we would end up in my bed. But I knew that’s not where we were heading.
“No, but yes, if that’s what you want,” he said. “I don’t want to push something you don’t feel comfortable with. Again, I’m sorry I was out of line,” he said.
He looked down. I could feel the shame, and it broke me. I grabbed his hand and pulled him in close.
“I love what we have. Our friendship means so much to me. We both know that whatever this is, it can’t happen if we want to keep our job. Please don’t feel bad. It just can’t happen,” I continued, hoping he would stop putting the blame on himself.
I came closer to him and gave him a hug, letting myself fall in his arms for what I knew would be the last time. He hugged me back and felt myself melting inside. This felt so right. How could it be wrong?
“How about we call it a night? We have a long week, and I really don’t want things to be awkward between us,” he said. He let me go, walked over to grab his beer from the table and chugged what was left.
I followed his lead and did the same. We walked out and went to my car in silence. We drove to his car in silence.
When we got to his car he simply said, “Ok, I will see you on Sunday at the airport, drive safely,” and got out.
He didn’t give me time to say anything at all. I felt a pit of emptiness the moment he closed the door; it took my breath away. I wanted so badly to get out and run to him, to feel his lips on mine once more. But I knew I wouldn’t. I was too cowardly. I drove away.