1992. Senior year of high school. Big bangs, bad make-up, tight rolled jeans and a couple of new grunge bands that will change the face of music forever.
For cooler classmates, this stuff mattered. For myself and the other weirdos, this stuff existed.
What really mattered to me, was John Lockhart. He was beautiful. Sandy light brown hair, blue eyes, sweet shy smile. For me, 1992 was about finally getting John to notice me.
It didn’t happen.
He never noticed me.
I never blamed him.
Twenty-five years later. Our class reunion starts in a couple of hours. I’m nervous but in a good way. Surprising really, considering I only had two friends all through high school and neither of them will be there. Nonetheless, I’m kind of excited. Mostly because I want to see John. I’m curious about him. Still.
Thanks to our social media conversations, I know he was married long enough to have a couple of kids and then found himself in the middle of a bitter divorce and nasty custody battle. He won both but that ordeal left a horrible taste in his mouth. So, I also know he’s single and I know he wants to stay that way.
I’ve been married for over two decades and ours is a history of resentment and struggle. I’m not sure why we’ve stayed married but at this point, a divorce would be ridiculous. He isn’t coming with me tonight. He has other plans.
I give the dress I bought a quick inspection before I put it on and when I look in the mirror to check my appearance, I’m actually pleasantly surprised. I expect to see an awkward teenager, shaking nervously before another stag appearance at the Sadie Hawkins dance but, I don’t. Instead, I see a forty-something with long dark wavy hair, well-applied make-up, a red, off-the-shoulder, long-sleeved mini-dress and a great pair of red heels.
I’ve grown up! Maybe. Inside I’m still the anxious weirdo I was twenty-five years ago.
It’ll be ok, I think to myself. I hear my phone buzz. A message from John?
‘Alex! You are coming tonight, right?’
‘Hey!’ I can hardly contain the joy I feel at this moment. It feels like 1992 again. If we’d had texting options back then. ‘Absolutely! I was just getting ready to head out.’
‘Me, too. Why don’t I come get you? You ok with that?’
Oh my god, am I?
‘Sure! Then you can be the DD!’
‘LOL’ he replies. ‘I’ll be there in 15 or so!’
‘See you soon!’
He knows I’m coming alone and that I’m staying at my parents’ house because I’d told him previously. And, because most of the class is probably doing the same. At least if their parents still live here, that is.
20 minutes later, I’m standing on the sidewalk waiting for my high school crush to pick me up for our class reunion and I’m scared. Suddenly my nerves are acting up. I light a cigarette hoping this will calm me down. I can’t be a shaking mess when John gets here.
I hear a car engine approaching so I turn to see if it’s him.
‘Alex!’ He waves as he pulls up in front of me. He shuts off the engine, steps out of the car and starts toward me, arms outstretched. ‘My god, you look amazing!’
I hold my cigarette away from us as he hugs me and I thank him for the compliment.
‘Back at ya, you giant hunk!’ He’s still beautiful. Tall, so tall. Same sandy brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. ‘Let me get rid of this and we can go,’ I indicate the cigarette.
‘Finish it, we have time,’ he smiles.
As we arrive at the venue, the old country club, he turns off the engine and looks over at me. ‘You ready for this?’
‘I think so,’ I nod.
‘I’m kind of nervous, dude.’
I’m surprised to hear that from him. ‘Really?’
‘I mean yeah,’ he chuckles. ‘I haven’t seen a lot of these people in forever.’
‘Afraid you’ll point out someone’s baldness?’ I smile.
‘Pretty much,’ he smiles back.
‘Well then we better get in there. I don’t want to miss that. Especially if it’s Darrington’s bald head,’ I say as I get out of the car.
‘Oh I hated that guy! Is he gonna be here?’ he asks as he exits.
‘No clue. I really just wanted to see like three people and you were one of them so I’m almost done.’
John laughs and wraps his arm around me, pulling me into his side as we walk toward the entrance.
There are a lot of familiar faces whose names my brain can’t quite make out. I feel John stiffen against me. He IS nervous. I find that strange so, I remind myself that he’s a person, not the God I made him into when I was fourteen.
‘Lockhart!’ A male voice shouts.
‘Oh hey!’ John responds.
‘Alex?’ Another male voice, more questioning than John’s caller.
‘Yeah?’ I smile hoping this guy’s name comes to me sooner than later.
‘You look amazing, girl!’ A female voice. One I vaguely recognize.
‘Pam?’ I ask.
‘Yes!’ She embraces me.
We all continue with the greetings as we make our way into the building.
The decorations are great. Giant pictures of the sports teams and the clubs. Student council and the homecoming court. Prom king and queen and some highlight photos of games and dances. Tonight’s soundtrack is bound to be great. I’m enjoying it so far, anyway.
There are decorated tables littering the perimeter, an open bar next to the rear exit and a cleared space for dancing in the center. Some people are dancing, some are sitting at tables, some are gathered at the bar and others, including John, are scattered throughout the venue, greeting old acquaintances. I’m being pulled by Pam. We stop at a table nearby and she invites me to take a seat.
‘Oh sure! Who all’s sitting here?’ I ask as I place my purse in the chair.
‘Karen, Laura, Michael, that’s Laura’s husband, me, you and we can save that one for John since you came together,’ she winks. I was never friends with any of these people. I smile and tell her I’m going to the bar. She nods and asks me to get her a Long Island Tea. I agree and make my way through the coagulation of former classmates, greeting and nodding as I go.
Finally! The bar.
John’s standing there holding a beer out toward me. I smile and take the beer. He holds up the beer in his other hand and I return the gesture, in a ‘cheers!’ motion.
‘I see you got a table,’ he smiles.
‘Us a table.’ I smile back. ‘Pam wants you to sit there, too.’
‘Speak of the devil,’ he nods behind me. Pam is cutting through the growing crowd.
‘Where’s my tea, lady?’ She laughs, shaking her head.
‘Oh yeah! I’m sorry!’ I completely forgot. John distracted me. My mind has been in the gutter since he picked me up. He’s so beautiful. Tall. Broad shoulders. Strong. Cobalt blue eyes. Shy, endearing smile. His cologne.
I want him. I have scenarios in my head that involve him and me in very compromised positions. I have to clear my head. It isn’t going to happen. We’re just friends. Besides, I’m not his type. Never have been. But, wow. The idea of kissing his mouth. Tasting his neck.
‘Alex!’ I hear Pam semi-shout.
‘What?!’ I reply startled. Am I drooling?
‘They’re about to do some presentation or something. Let’s sit,’ she says as she turns to walk back to the table. John nods for me to go ahead while he gets us a couple more beers.
The presentation is fun. Class officers showing slides of old times, reading old yearbook excerpts, memorial announcements for the mates and teachers who are no longer living, etc. Very nostalgic. John leans over and whispers in my ear, ‘You want to step outside when this is done?’
‘Sure,’ I nod. ‘You ok?’
‘Yeah, just warm.’ He smiles, fanning himself with his hand.
As the show comes to a close, I elbow John to let him know we can step out now. He acknowledges and indicates the bathrooms. I agree and follow him.
The line for the women’s room is surprisingly short. I don’t beat John out but I’m not held up long. I pull a cigarette from my purse as I walk toward him, and we make our way to the bar exit.
My god, he’s so attractive.
‘Feels like a million years ago, right?’ He shakes his head.
‘With a bit of just yesterday mixed in,’ I agree. The breeze is refreshing. It’s a warm June night with a low humidity and a nice breeze. Really a perfect night for a party like this.
‘You really do look beautiful, by the way,’ he says as he swigs from his bottle. ‘Everyone else thinks so, too. Some of them didn’t recognize you,’ he chuckles. I smile. I didn’t really hear much after the word, beautiful. I’ve fantasized about hearing those words from his mouth since I was fourteen years old and I first saw him in study hall, freshman year.
‘Well, too bad you never noticed when we were kids,’ I joke. I take the last drag from my cigarette and extinguish the butt in the receptacle a few feet away.
‘I did.’ He smiles slyly, as he begins to approach me. ‘But I was too shy to say anything and we were friends so,’ he shrugs. Still coming toward me. My knees are tingling. Do I start walking toward him? Do I step back? Do I just stand here? Am I going to pass out?
Oh god, he’s right in front of me. I can smell his cologne again. It’s intoxicating.
I feel his hand on the side of my face. He’s turning my face up to his. I see him bending and I feel his mouth on mine. Soft. Warm. Gentle. His tongue in my mouth. I’m working so hard to keep his momentum. It’s difficult to hold myself back. I want to devour him.
I’m holding his head, his thick hair tickling my fingers. I feel his hands on my ass and I feel myself getting wet. I want him. I need him. He picks me up. I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders to steady myself while I kiss his neck. He’s gently pinned me against a tree, his groin grinding into mine, his lips running the length of my neck, one of his hands on my left breast.
My god, I want him inside of me!
His breath in my ear gets a moan into his.
‘You wanna get out of here?’ he asks as he kisses my neck.
‘God yes,’ I answer greedily, pulling his face to mine so I can kiss his lips again. He releases his grip and slowly lowers me to the ground. He begins ending the kiss and stands up straight. I tug my dress to make sure it’s straight. He retucks the parts of his shirt that escaped in the middle of our tiny make-out session.
‘You wanna go say goodbye or anything?’ he asks as he takes my hand.
‘I guess we can?’ I step toward him. ‘Or we can just step away and come back?’ I run my free hand along his stomach.
‘That sounds like a viable option,’ he says through a groan and bends down. His lips on mine. Again. Slow. Deep. Soft. Gentle. ‘Let’s go,’ he speaks as he breaks contact. We quickly walk toward his car. He opens the passenger door for me but I can’t wait anymore. I throw my purse in and grab his shoulders, pulling him to me. I kiss his mouth hard. Hungrily. Gluttonously. He responds equally. He picks me up and pins me against his car. His right hand squeezing my left breast. His mouth still on mine. I undo his belt buckle and work on his button. He carries me to the back of the car and sets me on the trunk. He reaches up my thighs and hooks his fingers into my panties. I feel him pulling them off so I lift my hips to help. He’s got them off and he places them next to me while I unzip his pants. I hook my thumbs into his pants and underwear and slide them down just enough to release his very big, very hard dick. I get wetter. The anticipation of having that dick inside me is excruciatingly arousing. He lowers my dress to expose bare breasts. I take a quick glance around to make sure no one is nearby.
He separates my legs while kissing my neck. He’s slipping on a condom. I pull him closer, he grabs the back of my hair and pulls. I feel him sliding in. I gasp away the urge to automatically come.
He’s pulled my bottom half to the edge of the trunk, my feet are barely balanced on the bumper and he’s got a fistful of my hair. His thrusts are perfect. He’s getting his dick as far in as he can and he’s grinding my clit with the lingering movements. I can feel an intense orgasm building. His dick inside me, his hand pulling my hair while the other hand squeezes my breast. His mouth on mine, absorbing my moans. He quickens his thrusts. He talks while he kisses, ‘You wanna come?’
‘Oh god yes!’ I writhe against him to help the lurking orgasm along.
‘Do it then,’ he kisses me deeply, ‘come, Alex.’ He slows his thrusts.
‘Fuck me, John,’ I beg him. He lengthens his grinding time and puts both hands on my head, holding my face to his, kissing my mouth between words. ‘Come on my dick. Come hard for me,’ he encourages. It works.
‘Oh my God, I’m coming!’ I announce. I come hard. I feel it run through my whole body. My legs won’t stop shaking. My heart is pounding. I’m positive I’m screaming in ecstasy! Or I would be if John didn’t have his mouth on mine, taking my screams and returning grunts of his own.
I start to recover and he smiles. I laugh. ‘Something funny?’ he asks with a raised brow.
‘God no! Not funny, just…’ I stop talking and kiss his mouth. ‘Your turn,’ I whisper into his ear.
He smiles and nods and begins thrusting again. Oh god, I hope he finishes quick because I’m liable to come again. He picks me up and turns us both around. He’s leaning on the trunk and he’s holding me on his dick. His thrusts get harder, more determined. His grunts less controlled. I feel another orgasm building in myself. I grind on him faster as I hold onto his shoulders. His hands on my ass. He’s guiding my hips while he fucks me and I know we’re both about to come. I grab a breast and he pulls it into his mouth while we both ride the wave.
I know I’ve yelled out for God along with a dozen ‘yeses’ and half a dozen ‘don’t stops’. John’s grunts and loud moans are expressed simultaneously. We sit still for a few minutes, catching our breath. He kisses my mouth again. Slowly. Tenderly. He withdraws and steps aside to remove the condom.
I reach over to grab my panties.
He tosses the used condom in a trash bag in his car. ‘I’ll have to get rid of that sooner than later,’ he indicates the bag. I chuckle and straighten myself up.
I use the mirror on the passenger visor to check my face.
‘You’re still beautiful,’ he says as he zips his pants. I laugh and reapply some lip gloss. He approaches and stands at the open car door. ‘You wanna go back in?’
‘Of course,’ I answer. I feel amazing. I feel refreshed. ‘Is this what prom was like?’
‘Not for me,’ he laughs and fishes his phone from his front pants pocket. ‘Looks like they’re taking requests for the dance contest.’
‘There’s a dance contest?’ I ask as I stand and adjust my shoe strap.
‘You wanna enter it? You feeling especially energetic tonight?’ He grins.
‘I am, actually,’ I return his grin knowing I also feel like I’m gonna come again. Later. Tonight. With him.