Over the course of the next week, we went over the references. Of the 85% of the people who called us back, 97% of the women gave a favorable review. And 76% of the men gave us a favorable opinion.
I even talked to the man whom he had tossed out of the room.
“Eddie’s an asshole,” he said. “But he goes above and beyond the expectations.”
I hung my head. For some reason, I wasn’t liking Eddie as our top choice.
“Did it piss you off that he threw you out of the room?”
“Fuck, yeah, it pissed me off! But that’s Eddie.”
“What did your wife think about him coming inside her?”
“She didn’t give a fuck! She was head deep in orgasm!” I told him what happened the previous week of him asking me out of the room so they could masturbate together.
“Oh, man! You’re already being trained. What place did you rent down there?”
“Mountain Meadows Resort. We bought a timeshare.”
He laughed. “Best of luck, brother.”
After the kids had gone to bed, Zaleah and I sat down and compared notes. Almost 100% of the men all agreed that Eddie was an asshole. Of the 24% of men who didn’t approve of Eddie, six of those men’s wives became pregnant; four of them were intentional. Some of the 76% of men gave Eddie the freedom to fuck their wives whenever he wanted. Most of them would come home during such times.
Of the 3% of women who didn’t approve of Eddie, two of them were the ones who became pregnant unintentionally. They kept the babies. One of the women’s husbands couldn’t stomach raising another man’s child, and he left. One woman said that Eddie had turned her into a bitch.
“His cock was all I could think about,” she said. “The only thing I would let my husband do was eat my pussy.”
She was soon having sex with Eddie without her husband’s consent. The first time her husband came home and caught them, they were in the spooning position. Her husband’s reaction?
“What the fuck is this?”
“I’m getting fucked! Get the hell out of here!”
“It got so bad,” she said, “I was calling my girlfriends over to watch me have sex with him.” Eddie eventually fucked all of them, too. Some of them were married. Tensions in their marriage became so great, one day during Monday Night Football when her husband had a couple of friends over, she walked into the living room stark naked and asked which one wanted to fuck her. “My husband can’t get the job done, so maybe one of you can!” Both of his friends took her back to the bedroom and nailed her.
The final straw came when her husband found them fucking in his den, and in his father’s chair. He left the room, came back with his nickel-plated .38 revolver, and blew his brains out.
“That fucked me up! Fucked Eddie up, too! He wasn’t banging anyone for a long time after that,” she said with a breaking voice. “I don’t know. But that was years ago. Maybe he’s mellowed out some. Who knows?”
We plugged all the information and variables into a probability simulator on the laptop, and came back with an 82% success rate.
“I think we should go with him,” Zaleah said almost immediately.
“Wait. Aren’t we going to talk about this?”
“It says eighty-two percent!”
“Yeah! That’s on a computer! It simulates shit! This is reality. It doesn’t take into consideration the guy who committed suicide!”
“Yes, it does! I plugged it in. You don’t like him because he has a bigger-“
“A bigger, what?”
“Derrick, isn’t that the reason why husbands have other men fuck their wives because they have bigger dicks?”
“Bigger dicks, yes! Not so the husband can commit suicide!”
“That’s one sob story out of all the other ones we heard! Even the husbands that don’t like him approve of him. Some of their wives are still having sex with him.”
“What about some of the other candidates? I’m sure there are some.”
“We haven’t gotten a hit in a while, and we’ve been going over this all summer long. I’m excited to try this, aren’t you?”
Truth be told, I was. My wife, former model and registered nurse, had a chance to have sex with someone else, and give us a push into swinging.
“But the guy who killed himself.”
“They lived two counties over. It was easy for them to meet. We’re three states away! How much easier does that make it?”
It didn’t. But I was afraid of being brought to such a state of depravity, I might do the same thing.
Soon, we were calling him on video chat.
“Excellent!” he said upon hearing the news. “Let’s all three go into the bedroom.”
Once we were there, he had Zaleah set the laptop on the bed. She stripped naked, grabbed her extra-large dildo from the dresser she had bought recently and laid down in front of the camera. I sat off to the side. Eddie was masturbating with a fistful of lotion. After several minutes, of working up her emotions, he told her to insert the dildo, and imagine it was him.
“I’m right there, Zaleah. Penetrating deep to your cervix. Do you feel it?” She moaned. “Thrusting in and out, nice and slow.” Her hips were rocking and juice was pouring from her pussy. “Derrick is watching! But I want you to pretend he’s invisible. Does that turn you on?”
“Yes!”
“How much does it turn you on?”
“So much! I’m so horny!”
“My dick is bigger than his, isn’t it?”
“Yes!”
“It feels better!”
“God, yes! So much better!”
“Look up, Zaleah! Watch me cum! Push the dildo in balls deep!” Zaleah did as he instructed. “Imagine I’m balls deep inside you! I’m about ready to cum! You want my cum, don’t you, Zaleah?”
“Fuck! Yes! I want your cum!”
Soon, his cock jerked and thick cream oozed from the tip. Juice squirted out of her pussy, and she succumbed to a leg shaking orgasm.
“Derrick, squeeze the ballsack!” he said. I did, and soon fake cum was pouring out. “Get naked and fuck her!”
I was all too eager to do it. I undressed quickly, hopped up on the bed, and sunk my cock into her sodden, cream filled pussy. I immediately started pounding her.
“Yes! That is nice, Derrick! You have a decent size, but not as big as mine! Fuck her, Derrick! Pound that pussy!”
I was banging her as hard as I could. Zaleah’s back was arching and her head was tossing about. I was close to blowing my load.
“Pull out, Derrick! Cum on her face!”
I did as I was told and was soon spraying my load over both her eyes, up her nose and on her cheeks. I cleaned up her face, of course.
“That was hot! I’ll see you guys in less than a month!”
“Can’t wait!” Zaleah exclaimed before closing the laptop.
There’s a certain high that comes with thinking about your wife having sex with another man, and a certain low that follows once you ejaculate. That night, as I held her in my arms, and she went to sleep rather quickly, I realized how close we were getting to the date. And there was no way in hell I was going to be able to back out!
I wondered if the low that night matched the low of the real thing.