I was feeling a sense of panic and dread, as well as a pounding headache, when the taxi picked me up from Elaine’s small hotel. The driver wasn’t talkative, for which I was grateful. He just started driving towards Michael’s apartment through the dark night. I kept looking at my phone but there was no reply from Maggie to my confused message of earlier.
I was cross with myself for not continually checking for messages during the evening. I had become completely absorbed with Elaine, and now I feared what the consequences would be. I just couldn’t believe that I had stopped thinking about Maggie so completely when I was with Elaine.
I remembered that Maggie and I were supposed to have the late evening and night together. I remembered Maggie mentioned that it was the right time in her cycle to have unprotected sex without risking getting her pregnant. I wanted to find that she was already home, but deep down I already realised that was not going to be the case.
As the taxi was getting close to Michael’s home, my phone buzzed and a new message notification appeared. It was from Maggie.
“Sorry, I just saw your message. I’m still at Michael’s, I’ll get a taxi home, see you later, Mx.”
I typed a message back: “My taxi will be outside at any moment- I’ll pick you up.”
I watched for a reply. There was a delay, which was probably only a minute or so, but it seemed much longer. Then I saw that she was typing a reply. I felt my heart beating as I waited for it to come through.
“Okay, I’ll come down.”
I was relieved, and almost immediately the taxi was pulling into the courtyard outside the housing block where Michael lived. It stopped in the car park and there was a short path to the door. We waited for a few minutes until I saw movement behind the main door.
I saw Maggie appear on the inside of the door and I felt my heart lift. I got out of the car to greet her.
The first light of dawn was in the sky and I could hear some birds starting to sing. It was still very warm.
Security lights came on as she emerged, lighting the path to the taxi. I realised she wasn’t quite the same as when I left her the previous evening.
She walked unsteadily towards me, stumbling occasionally in the pools of light, I saw that she was wearing her dress with her cardigan hooked over her shoulder. She looked like she had got dressed in a hurry as a shoulder strap was hanging off her shoulder. However, that was not the only sign that she hadn’t been ready to come home.
I was shocked as I drank in the sight that greeted me.
Her hair, which was previously carefully styled, was dishevelled and matted. It hung over her eyes. Her face had been carefully made up but now the mascara had run down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks red. I could see flaky white deposits on her skin around her mouth.
She was barefoot, no longer wearing the black tights or stockings, and carrying her high heeled shoes dangling from one hand with her purse in the other.
I remember I read an online story in which a woman was described as looking “freshly fucked”. That phrase came to mind as my wife came towards me.
In the harsh security lights, I noticed something sparkling around her right ankle. It was a small silver-coloured chain. My eyes were drawn to this new piece of jewellery as Maggie hesitated and then gathered herself and walked the final few steps more confidently.
As we got closer together, she avoided looking directly at me, embarrassed at how I saw her. She stumbled again and started to fall forward. I was close enough to be able to grab her arms and we just stood still for a minute. She continued to not look me in the eye.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey you,” she replied. She spoke quietly. She seemed shy.
I looked up at the four storey apartment block, and noticed that a light was on in an apartment two floors up, and the curtains were slightly open. I thought that I briefly saw a tall guy looking down on us. Maybe it was Michael, or just a curious neighbour. I felt uncomfortable to be outside with Maggie looking like this.
“Let’s get into the taxi,” I said.
We got into the back seat of the taxi. Maggie leaned against the side window and kept a distance between us. It felt awkward, and the driver turned around to look first at Maggie and then at me. He seemed to be drawing his own conclusions about what was going on. I just asked him to drive us home. There we sat, both having spent time the night apart with others. There was so much I wanted to ask, but I didn’t want to say much in the car.
I was wondering what the driver was thinking, and I tried to stop thinking too much. When there was enough light, I noticed that Maggie’s eyes were shut.
When we got home, I could see that we were both tired and my head was aching. I knew that conversation could easily go very wrong. Despite my desperation to know what had happened, I suggested that we get some rest and talk in the morning.
Maggie was struggling to stay awake, but said that she needed to have a shower. I said that she looked shattered and should just come to bed. It was too early to start showering. She looked at me through tired eyes and didn’t argue. We just both took off our clothes and got under the covers. I noticed red marks on her breasts and neck as she got into bed. I put my arm around Maggie and she cuddled up to me.
She smelt different. I could smell a man’s cologne on her. There were other smells. I guessed I could smell Michael’s sperm, Michael’s sweat. It made me feel disgusted, but this was still my Maggie. Just a different version of her.
Maggie must have been so tired that her breathing soon became regular and I knew that she was sleeping. I stayed awake for a while trying to process what had happened, before I drifted off to sleep.
I awoke from a fitful sleep and checked the time on the bedside clock. It was just after 9.30 am. I took a moment to orientate myself. Maggie’s body was close to me, and my instant happiness to wake up with her naked quickly changed as I recalled the events of the previous evening.
Maggie was still sleeping, and I lifted the covers to look at her body. A pungent odour hit my nostrils from under the covers; a mix of sweat, a man’s scent and sperm? It was much stronger than last night.
I saw more white flaky deposits around her pussy lips and her shaved pubic area. I wondered if she had shaved herself for me, or for him.
It seemed that whatever happened, Michael had free range over my wife’s body. I noticed that Maggie’s small breasts seemed to have had particular attention as there were a number of red marks around the nipples which, even in her sleeping state, appeared larger and more erect than usual, standing proud.
As I examined her body, Maggie stirred and sleepily opened her eyes. She looked at me and gave me a weak smile before turning her face into the pillow. I reached out and pulled her towards me and she put her arm around me to hug me, but still kept her face buried in the pillow.
I tried to think of the right thing to say.
“It looks like you had quite an adventure.”
Maggie didn’t reply.
“Are you going to tell me about it?”
Maggie took her head out of the pillow.
“I will, but I need a shower and I need to process things.”
“You can shower in a moment; I need to know what’s been happening. It obviously went way further than what we had agreed,” I said.
Maggie buried her face further into the pillow.
“I just want to know more now, but I’m not going to judge you,” I added quietly. I didn’t want Maggie to feel defensive.
Maggie’s face slowly emerged from the pillow and she gave me a little weak grin, before replying
“Then I also need to know what you got up to with your ex,” she said and gently touched my hair.
“She was my ex years ago, and we were never that close,” I said. At that moment I couldn’t remember exactly what I had said about what Elaine and I had done so many years ago.
“Whatever, how did you manage to spend most of the night with her? She obviously distracted you from me. I was waiting to hear from you. I expected you much earlier.”
I wanted to know about Maggie’s night so much, but I thought that if I told her about my evening, it would make it easier for her to be honest with me.
So I told her about how Elaine and I had eaten together, and how we had gone back for a drink at her hotel but found the small bar busy. We couldn’t talk in the bar, so we went up to her room.
Maggie listened and raised her eyebrows when I explained how we ended up in Elaine’s hotel bedroom. “That sounds very convenient.”
I felt I had to justify how it happened and I described how Elaine had left her small single room clearly not expecting anyone to come back to it. Then I wondered why I needed to explain anything, given the story I feared I was about to hear from Maggie. So I just tried to tell her what happened without exaggerating or avoiding the details.
When I described how I needed to get condoms so that there was little risk to us all, I noticed Maggie looked guilty. I made a mental note to ask her about this later, if she didn’t tell me first.
I didn’t go into too much detail about how we climaxed together and kissed so passionately.
I did admit falling asleep with Elaine and not checking in with Maggie for a long time. When I finished, I waited for Maggie to say something.
After a long silence, she simply said, “I’m glad you had a good time,” and she leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek.
“Your turn,” I said. I waited and Maggie started to describe her evening.
She explained that they went straight to their table when they arrived at the pub. It was in the corner of the small dining room, which was relatively empty, although the bar around the corner was lively and busy.
Once they had sat down and ordered some wine, Michael announced that he had bought her a gift to remember him by. He presented her with a jewellery gift box, and in it she found a small white gold silver chain with a small charm. She thought it was a bracelet, but Michael explained that it was an ankle chain.
Michael said it was a parting gift to remind her of special times and she should wear it on “particular” occasions. Maggie liked it and was taken aback by Michael’s generosity. She thought the chain delicate and feminine and wanted to put it on straight away.
Maggie described how she went to the ladies to freshen up and put on her gift from Michael. This meant walking through the crowded bar. She didn’t look around but just focused on getting to the restrooms. Once she was there, she examined the small charm which hung from the anklet. Originally, she had thought it was a small leaf. She then noticed that it was in the shape of the spade from a deck of cards. She fastened it around her right ankle.
She didn’t know why Michael should have selected that charm, but she liked the feel of the chain around her ankle and thought it looked nice. So she came out and walked back through the crowded bar to the dining room. As she had left the bar and approached their table, she heard someone behind her call her name and follow her into the dining area. It was Pam, someone she knew locally from the community choir that Maggie occasionally attended.
Maggie had not been to choir for some time, due to pressures at work and other priorities. However, she had enjoyed singing and still knew many of the regulars.
She turned to speak with Pam as she got back to the table where Michael was sitting. Pam had just said how great Maggie was looking and asked her what the special occasion was. She said how she loved Maggie’s silver necklace, earrings and anklet. Pam couldn’t remember seeing her wearing so much jewellery before.
Maggie told me that she must have gone very red and probably looked very embarrassed as she tried to think how to reply. She had said something about coming out to have a meal with a colleague who was leaving and introduced Michael.
Pam appeared taken aback but shook Michael’s hand. There was an awkward silence before Pam explained that she was celebrating a friend’s birthday and that they were with a few others, including a couple who also knew Maggie from the community choir. They were going to come through to eat in a short while.
Maggie sat down and explained to Michael that it was going to be difficult to speak and have any privacy with people she knew watching them. They knew me and it would have been natural for Pam to ask about me. The fact that she hadn’t mentioned me just added to the awkwardness. Maggie and Michael decided to just have one course of food and then leave and try to find another place for the rest of the evening.
They had a nice meal, but once Pam’s party came into the dining room, Maggie found it hard to be with Michael. The others in the party she knew waved and smiled but didn’t come and speak, leaving her alone. As soon as they could reasonably leave, they asked for the bill. Maggie did admit that this also meant drinking wine more quickly from the bottle they had ordered, which made her a bit lightheaded, but she said she wasn’t by any means drunk.
That’s when Maggie sent me the first message. The bill took a little time to arrive, and she felt that she had to go over to Pam’s table to say hello to everyone. They were all polite and mainly wanted to compliment her on how good she looked. Which seemed pointed.
Pam just said that she would look forward to catching up with Maggie and getting “all the news” as soon as possible. No-one mentioned me, and the whole encounter was intensely embarrassing for Maggie.
Once they were outside the pub, Maggie and Michael considered their next move. Maggie sent me the second message, thinking that the first one might have alarmed me. In fact, of course, I hadn’t even seen it at that point.
Maggie and Michael intended to find another pub, but it was now getting later on a Friday evening and they didn’t have a car. Michael suggested they get a cab to the town where he lived and go and check out the couple of pubs that were within walking distance. Once they got a cab and arrived at his place, the pubs were crowded with Friday night drinkers. Maggie was concerned that they might find more people who knew Maggie or Michael. She was still worried what would have been said about us back at the pub they had come from.
Michael suggested that they go into his place for a coffee. Maggie decided it was the best option if she wasn’t going to go straight home. She didn’t want Michael’s last evening to have been a truncated meal before returning home alone for an early night. She went inside and they had coffee.
Curious that I had not responded, Maggie decided that the most probable reason was that I was having a good time with Elaine. However, she didn’t want me to find out that she had done anything without letting me know so she sent me another text and assumed that I’d let her know what my plans were.
Michael and Maggie drank coffee and talked, and then Michael offered her some port. She had refused at first but agreed to a small glass. He had asked for one more kiss before she left. They had started kissing, and Maggie had started to get aroused.
They kissed for a while, before she had felt Michael’s hand starting to move to her breast. She knew that she would not be able to resist him for much longer. She asked Michael to stop and moved away from him. She felt conflicted, and knew that if she didn’t leave now things would go much further.
Maggie went to the bathroom and tried to decide what she was going to do. She really wanted to stay longer with Michael and let him go further. The memory of their previous night together and the joy she had felt being naked with him had come flooding back, but she didn’t want to let me down.
As she waited, my message about my evening going well came through. It appeared that I was happy for her to stay longer, but it wasn’t clear. She thought we had to be crystal clear this time. So she sent me a further message. She told me that she would like to stay longer with Michael, but if she did, things would almost certainly get more intimate. Or she would go home and wait for me. She asked me to reply as soon as possible, letting her know if I would agree for her to stay longer.
She waited for a while before coming out of the bathroom. She asked Michael to make more coffee and said that she wanted no more alcohol. She was determined to wait for my reply.
They prepared more coffee and talked a little, but Maggie could tell that Michael desperately wanted her, and she wanted him. She told him she wanted to wait before anything more happened, and that she might call for a taxi and go home.
After what seemed like an age, Maggie got my message giving her the thumbs up. I had given my consent.
I interrupted Maggie’s story.
I needed to check things. “I don’t recall getting any message from you asking about staying longer at his place.” I showed her my phone.
Maggie read the messages and then showed me her phone and the message chain with me. Looking across the messages from last night, there was one that said:
“I’m with Michael in his flat, and he wants me to stay longer. If I do I know things could go further, but I won’t do anything unless you agree. Shall I stay with all that might involve, or do you want me to go home and wait for you? I’ll accept what you say. Let me know if I can stay longer. I love you. Mxxxx.”
Next to the message was a small red exclamation mark and the words “message not sent.”
The next message from me was the thumbs up.
Maggie gasped.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see that you never got the message. I thought you had seen it and replied, giving your agreement to stay longer with Michael. I don’t know why I didn’t notice that my message hadn’t got through.”
I knew Maggie was sincere. She was genuinely upset, and started to cry. I wanted to know the rest of the story. I tried to comfort her.
“I believe you, these things happen. You were obviously pleased to be able to spend more time with him. You can tell me the truth, I’m okay with it.”
In my heart, I wasn’t sure if I could cope with knowing everything, but I had to know the story behind why I found Maggie in this state in the early hours of the morning.
As Maggie stopped crying, she needed more encouragement to continue. I pressed her, even as she told me that she hadn’t meant to hurt me. So she reluctantly continued to tell me what happened.
Maggie admitted that she wanted to go to bed with Michael and doing so in his bed in his home was even more exciting. She hadn’t really expected me to agree to stay, but when she thought I had, she felt a huge surge of excitement and she wanted to get very close to him as soon as possible. She made another excuse to go to the bathroom to take a moment to ready herself.
Maggie took off her dress in the bathroom and came out to Michael wearing only her underwear. He was surprised, but had a big smile on his face, like a small boy in a candy store. She took him by the hand and led him to his bedroom. Michael didn’t need to push her any longer. She wanted to be his, and she wasn’t going to resist whatever he wanted to do.
Maggie tried to gloss over the next few hours. The freedom that my response had apparently given her gave her an incredible buzz and made her feel completely uninhibited. When he followed her and saw her on his bed, he stripped down to his underwear and came to her. They started kissing more passionately now. She couldn’t remember being more excited about what might happen next.
She said they had sex a few times, and it did get quite aggressive, which is when she ended up getting the red marks on her body.
I tried to listen dispassionately, but I found it difficult.
“It sounds like you were really into it. There was real passion,” I said.
Maggie realised what I was implying, and she sounded defensive as she replied.
“It was more like one last final fling. Our last chance, so I guess we both didn’t hold back.”
I looked unconvinced.
“Paul, what do you want me to say? It was raw fucking. I was carried away, but I kept thinking that I would never see him again, so I wanted to do everything we could.”
I stopped her. “Everything?”
Maggie realised that she had said the wrong thing and in doing so, had admitted more than she had meant to. I pressed her.
“What do you mean by everything?”
“I guess I went further than I had meant to.”
“It seems to happen a lot”
“You went further too, with your old girlfriend.”
“We went nowhere near as far as you’ve been with your black boyfriend.”
Even before I finished speaking, I regretted what I had said. I knew it would make it more difficult for Maggie to tell me the whole story about what went on with Michael, either because we would argue, or she would just clam up.
Maggie’s fierce response caught me by surprise.
“Fuck you, I didn’t question you like this. I’m sure more went on with your girlfriend than you’ve told me. She was someone you’d been in love with; you could love her again. That seems to me a bigger emotional risk than all the physical stuff I’ve done. What do you want me to say? That it’s more than just sex? That I love him? ”
Maggie knew how to provoke me. I knew that she was expecting me to challenge her back by saying something like, “Well do you?”
It would give her a reason to stop telling me something that she didn’t like talking about. I needed to try and not respond in the same way, despite the turmoil I was feeling inside. I said nothing so Maggie seemed to calm down a little and spoke again.
“I’m trying to tell you what happened. It’s difficult to explain this to you. If you don’t want to hear, I’m going to take a shower.”
She went to get up out of bed and I grabbed her arm firmly but, I hope, not aggressively.
“I’m sorry, I want to hear more. We both feel vulnerable. I was wrong to react that way. Please continue telling me what happened.”
Maggie seemed to relax a little bit and as I released her arm, she laid back down and started to tell me more, but I could tell that she was now reluctant to give me as much detail.
“We basically did the same sort of thing as we did last time, we had sex in different positions. It went on for a while. I was surprised when I got your message and so I didn’t have time to get ready to meet you, so you basically found me like this.”
I had to coax Maggie to tell me more.
“Did you use condoms?”
“We did the first time, but Michael was taking a long time to finish, so he took it off and I knelt down in front of him and he stood over me. I gave him a blow job and he got quite forceful and I choked a bit and he made my eyes water. I remember feeling his hands on the back of my head, and I just let him.
He came in my mouth but there was a bit more than I was expecting so some got into my hair. I thought it would look disgusting, but Michael said he liked the look. He didn’t want me to go and clean up. He wanted to continue to do things on the bed.”
“It’s certainly a different look, and different to any other look you’ve had,” I tried to make light of it so she didn’t become defensive again. “It might be fun to have you like this sometimes, but I think I’d prefer it if the sperm came from me!”
I smiled encouragingly and asked her more questions.
“You said that you only used a condom the first time, so what happened the next time?”
“He said he would pull out.”
“And you trusted him to do that? After what you said to me last week?”
“That time he did pull out and came outside.”
I remembered the white deposits around her pubic area. Maggie continued.
“I knew I couldn’t get pregnant, but I had meant all along to let you and me take advantage of the opportunity.”
“You meant to? But you didn’t.”
“As it got later, I realised that you weren’t going to be going home until very late. We just continued to have sex.”
“You didn’t sleep?”
“Maybe we did for a while, but not for long. We kept starting to have sex again.”
“So at some point he came inside you?”
Maggie had the good grace at least to look guilty as she said, “The last couple of times, yes.”
“So his promise to pull out didn’t last?”
“He would have pulled out, but I said I didn’t want him to.”
“Why not.”
“At the time, I wasn’t thinking straight. I just wanted to feel him inside me one last time. It was wrong, but it was what I wanted.”
I noted that she didn’t say that she regretted it. It was starting to hurt, but I couldn’t stop asking questions.
“Did you do anal with him?”
“No.”
“Well, at least that’s one thing that we still have.”
“He’s too big, otherwise we probably would have.”
Now Maggie was just trying to provoke me again. But I kept up my questioning.
“How long had it been since the last time he came inside you before I picked you up?”
“Why is that important? Does it excite you? It seems like it does? Is that why you’re questioning me? You’re getting off on this.” She wasn’t smiling as she said this, but Maggie was referring to my hard cock. I was caught out again.
“It’s not every guy that picks up his wife from her lover in the state I found you. It looks like you had sex for most of the time you were at his flat.”
“If you really want to know, he was actually coming inside me just as my phone buzzed with your message. When I realised that you were downstairs, I had to get up quickly and rush down to meet you.”
“So you had fresh sperm in you when we met?”
“I had to wipe some that was running down my leg just before I came out the door. Is that enough detail for you?”
I realised that Maggie was pushing me to find the limit of my questioning. I felt I had enough.
“Yes, it’s enough. I’m getting what happened. I don’t want to know anymore for now. Maybe later.”
Maggie seemed relieved and relaxed a little and just lay still on her back.
I couldn’t decide if I was disgusted and repelled with her in her used state or incredibly aroused at what she had become. What I did know as that my cock had become rock hard.
I drew myself up over Maggie lifting up my upper body on my arms and looked down at her. Our feet touched and I looked down to see that she still wore the ankle chain that Michael had given her. She had her wedding ring on her finger, but the two pieces of jewellery seemed to represent two very different sides of my wife.
As I looked up the length of her body, I burned into my brain the image of her with her matted hair and ruined make-up. I’d never seen her like this, and I wasn’t sure if I would ever see her like this again. I wanted to remember seeing her in this state.
I studied again the many red marks across her body, concentrated around her breasts whose nipples seemed hard and enlarged. Some marks looked deeper red, angry and sore, and must have caused her pain when they were inflicted. They looked like they were caused by teeth. I tried to imagine what she must have been doing with Michael.
Her breasts had always been so sensitive when she was with me. She had to be in the right mood for me to even touch them, and I had to be very gentle with her nipples. If I wasn’t careful enough she would flinch and cover herself. If she was in the right mood she could climax just from me stroking and kissing her nipples. Now they were battered and bruised. They had been owned by someone else that she had submitted herself to. This was so different from the woman I married.
Maggie’s eyes were shut now, I wondered what she was thinking. I wondered if she was overcome with tiredness and drifting off to sleep. My eyes were again drawn to her pussy and, keeping above her, I moved down her body so that I could see her pussy more clearly. The lips were red and swollen. I’d never seen them like this. The pussy entrance was slightly open; it had not returned to its normal state after having Michael’s cock inside. It looked like the very definition of ‘well used’.
My wife. Well used. Well fucked. I was seeing my wife in a different light. I was aware of what she had done with Michael before, but now it was more real to me. This was not the woman I had been close to for most of my adult life. She still wore her wedding ring but she also wore her lover’s jewellery.
My head was overloaded with different thoughts all racing around. I was amazed by what I was seeing and who my wife had become. I was disgusted with her. But was I repelled by what I saw? I thought I should be. I was jealous that another man had enjoyed unrestricted access to her body, and she had returned to me with his sperm on her and in her.
Despite myself, I was also excited. I felt guilty at just how excited I was as I moved back over her body so that my head was now a few inches above her head. I relaxed my legs and my rock hard cock was touching her just above her pussy. Her skin felt rough and dry from the dried sperm.
I moved my cock to the entrance of her pussy and reached down to line it up with her slightly open entrance. I thought of how just a few hours ago Michael’s large muscular body had been where I am now. I thought of how his large tongue had been in her small mouth. How I was looking and feeling his sperm. How his black skin had been against her white skin. And how his large black cock had been inside her.
Maggie, her eyes still shut, opened her legs a little wider. My cock moved so that it was slightly inside her pussy. Unlike the skin outside, inside it felt warm, wet and inviting. I pushed forward and my cock entered her. Unlike the last time I had sex with my wife, this time she didn’t flinch at all as I easily entered her encountering little resistance. As I moved further inside her I could feel how soaking wet her pussy was. I didn’t want to think about why it was so wet.
My brain was full of conflicting thoughts, but at that moment my animal instinct kicked in and my cock overruled my head. I wanted to fuck. As I started pumping in and out, Maggie’s body responded and moved with me.
I moved in and out more and more quickly pushing harder. I realised my cock would not have been reaching inside Maggie’s pussy as far as Michael’s cock would have reached. I wondered how much she could even feel me. Was she moving with me so that she could get some stimulation from me, despite how inadequate she might be finding me?
All too soon, my excitement got the better of me. I couldn’t stop and I felt my cock pump my sperm into her to join Michael’s.
As I stopped moving, I just looked down and felt guilty, angry, jealous and slightly queasy. I wanted to say something, but no words came to me. Maggie didn’t open her eyes.
I withdrew my messy cock and collapsed on my back next to Maggie. Both of us lay side by side facing the ceiling and saying nothing. Normally after sex we would kiss and touch each other, and share some special time after such an intimate act. This was different, and we didn’t share even a kiss. It seemed neither of us wanted to in our current state.
I needed time to think, and Maggie needed to clean herself up. I suggested that I get a taxi to collect my car from last night while she cleaned herself up. I got up and threw on some clothes and called for a taxi. I then looked at Maggie lying on the bed one more time and she looked up at me, her eyes red. I tried to give her a weak smile, but I was not sure it came across well and she didn’t smile back.
So I just said, “See you later,” and left. As I went downstairs, I heard her get up and go into the bathroom.
On the journey in the taxi or picking up my car from where I had left it last night, I tried to process the last few hours since my wife and I left our home for our evening out with different people. I had a wonderful time with Elaine, and it brought back such a rush of desire. I wanted to see her again, spend the night with her and see if we could recapture some more of the energy of our youth.
I considered the changes in Maggie. Seeing her looking freshly fucked was exciting in its own way. My insides churned with contradictory feelings, and I was suppressing so much jealousy for how she had offered so much of herself to Michael. I didn’t believe that more hadn’t happened at other times when they were at work together. I thought of the anklet gift he had given her.
I remembered reading about anklets and hot wives. I got out my phone and Googled “spade anklet meaning”. The top answer was “a hot wife with a preference for black men”. Michael had let my wife walk through a crowded pub telling anyone who cared to look that she belonged to him. I wondered if Maggie knew this.
I thought my wife and mother of our children, the primary school teacher who had been a regular attendee with me at church for years, and who had never shown interest in any sexual practices other than straight forward missionary sex.
I thought of how she had just spent most of last night having sex with a younger man. She had returned to me with his sperm in her hair, on her body and inside her, and the symbol of his conquest on her ankle. She had changed and wherever we were going, things could never be quite the same.
She had been seen out with him and without me by people who lived near us and who had the same friends as us. I wondered how quickly the word would get around that my wife dated other men.
I took a little comfort that Michael was moving away, and Maggie had still been clear when she talked about last night being a “final fling”. I didn’t think I could cope with her spending more time with him. It had all got too intense and I wasn’t sure how much I believed her when she dismissed their relationship as just sex.
As I arrived home I was in more turmoil, and I still had no idea how we were going to come to terms with what we had become, or even just understand what really had happened.
When I got back, Maggie was still in our bathroom. I went upstairs and went into our bedroom to find that the sheets had been stripped from the bed and left in a pile, waiting to be washed. The bathroom door was closed, and I could hear the shower going and music playing.
As I approached the bathroom door, I heard the music from the smart speaker inside. I heard Diana Ross singing in her sumptuous and sensual voice the words to “Touch Me in the Morning”. It was never a song that Maggie has listened to. It was more like the songs from old discos, the ones that I might have gone to with Elaine.
I saw Maggie’s phone on the dressing table outside. There was a notification of a new message. I knew her phone code so despite myself I unlocked the phone and clicked on the messages. The new one was from Michael.
The unread message from Michael said:
“I meant everything I said last night. I hope you did too. Mxxx”
The message made jealousy boil up again inside me. I couldn’t help but scroll up the messages. What caught my eye were messages from an hour ago that had been read.
There was a photograph of Maggie. She was sitting on a bed, Michael’s bed, naked with her leg tucked underneath but with the ankle chain clearly visible. Her hair and make-up was still in place. Her breasts were uncovered, her arms by her side. She was looking directly at the camera, confident, relaxed and smiling.
Normally she didn’t like having her photograph taken. She was always self-conscious. In this picture she was positively glowing, her eyes were shining, her smile radiant for the camera. It was one of the best photos I had ever seen of my wife.
She didn’t look at all shy with Michael, despite being naked. She looked stunning; so alive and happy. The last time I remember her looking so beautiful in a photograph was over twenty-five years ago on our wedding day. On that day she was happy to be publicly committing to our life together. In this picture, she had the same look of love she had previously had for me.
The message underneath from Michael said:
“I had to share my favourite photo, and it’s not too explicit this time?”
Then another message:
“Our song: I’ll always think of you when I hear it played.”
Underneath there was a link to a video of Diana Ross singing “Touch Me in the Morning”.
A final message read:
“You took me to a place where I’ve never been. I hope I took you there as well.”
I felt numb as I took in the photo and the messages to my wife from her lover. My hand started to shake.
Then I noticed a napkin on the dressing table. It was the one that Elaine had written a message on for me: “To Paul, the one who I let go too quickly. I’m sorry I hurt you. If there’s ever something I can do to make it up to you, just call. With love, Elaine xxx.”
Maggie must have found it since I knew I hadn’t left it there.
The bathroom door opened, and Maggie came out wearing her towelling robe with a towel in her hand as she was drying her hair. She looked startled to see me and for a moment we just looked at each other as Diana Ross continued to sing from inside the bathroom. She saw my phone in her hand.
“You never liked Diana Ross,” I said.
Maggie looked at the napkin on the table.
“She still loves you.”
Then I realised from the redness in her eyes that she had been crying. We looked at each other for a few short moments.
Then Maggie came to me, put her arms around me and held me tight. I put her phone down as she buried her head into my neck and started sobbing. I automatically put my arms around my wife. I heard Diana Ross singing something about how her lover had left her as he found her, empty.
As I held Maggie and smelled her clean, damp hair she continued crying desperately. I thought of how she looked in the picture I’d just seen on her phone. How alive and happy she looked. How alive and happy HE had made her feel. How empty was she feeling now? Where did this leave us?
I tried not to imagine what Maggie was thinking.
I couldn’t help the tears coming to my eyes as I started to cry as well.
