Friday night and I was internetting, not really doing anything. I could hear Dan on the phone. Tonight he was going out, lads-night out. I heard him swagger down the hallway and saw the door open and close in my...

Two hundred thousand years of human evolution and this is what I'm doing with it - sitting in a cracked bathtub with a faded plastic tumbler of boxed wine in one hand, a damp cigarette in the other, and a...