"God, your legs are like mayonnaise, smooth creamy and easy to spread."
The Butcher of North Versailles stood behind the counter of “Fromage a Trois” waiting for the last fifteen minutes of his Friday to be over. The smell of fresh-cut salami hung in the air as the Butcher began breaking down...
"A prickly fall comes up smelling of roses…"
A gentle breeze stirred the cherry tree leaves as I sat outside on the garden decking. Relaxing on a hot summer's afternoon, the cool breeze was a welcome break from the heat, however brief it lasted. Flowers in bloom, the...
"The title says it all..."
I’ve always been fascinated by my mailman. And by “fascinated,” I mean I wanted to fuck him. His name is Dan and he came at the same time every afternoon at one o’clock to open my mail slot and deliver...
""We agreed, not at work.""
"Then Hayes said, 'Dental dam? Rub that wood with an eager beaver.'"Abbey smirked. "Next time, we can email her the invoice. I don't need an adult toy magnate inflicting my new employees with her puns. Even if she is my...
"The Fucking Plague comes and goes."
As he walked across mostly barren streets, Jim ruminated on his current situation. The corpses left behind by the plague had mostly been either cleaned up or rotted into nothing. Used to be you could hardly pass a region without...
"Bangers and Mash"
Bernie's House of BangersBernie's House of Bangers was a little, all-night diner on the corner of Riverside and Grove. It might as well have been on the corner of 'Nowhere' and 'Get Lost' for all the traffic it got. I'd...
A vinyl record chirps out the chocolaty smooth baritone of Nat King Cole and his 1960 album, The Magic of Christmas, as we’re processed, lifting the precinct’s normally dingy atmosphere to something almost magical. Thing is though, the steel cuffs...
