"Meet me out by the docks and we'll go fishing," he said. "It'll be fun," he said.Little did I expect that this was going to be the weirdest sunny afternoon of my entire life.I got to the docks a little early...
pop culture
Best Snow Day Ever
"A surprise snow day leads to more surprises for lesbian teacher"
6:59 A.M. The radio alarm jarred her angrily awake, as always. It was set to the hip hop station to force her to get up immediately and switch off the the fucking racket before leaping like a wounded gazelle from...
Fuck Valentine’s Day
"Valentine's Day can bring out the sadness for many, one lonely lesbian in particular"
It was a dark and dreary February night as I drove home, fitting my mood. It was Valentine's Day, my least favorite day of the year. A day championed by Hallmark to peddle overpriced, sappy cards to the gullible masses...
There’s No Crying in Hockey
"A 'goon' on a women ice hockey team is stunned by a very unexpected visitor to the locker room"
My dad regretted not having a son. He denies it of course but I could tell by how he pushed athletics on me at a young age. He even bought me a jock strap for my fourth birthday which confused...
Death of the Everready Bunny
"Dead batteries at most inopportune time leads to supermarket shenanigans"
Greetings from checkout #5 at my local supermarket. A more frenzied woman you will never meet. What began as simply checking an email led me here, dressed like a Goodwill Store supermodel in cutoff jeans and a Bengals tee. My...
Back in the Saddle Again
"A Southern belle is accidentally glued to Sybian sex saddle"
I remember the night of my epiphany, feeling much like Columbus when he discovered Ohio. I'm Chlamydia Burns, a southern gal from Chatanooga working as an Olive Garden server, befitting my Vanderbilt education. But enough about me. I'm thirty-six, single, ...
The Purloined Pussy
"A Game of "Escape the Room" turns tragic"
I'm Piper Cinnabon, (name changed to protect the innocent). It was a cold and dreary morning walking the cold and dreary New York streets with my girlfriend, Cynthia, a bewitching, African-American woman with the complexion of hot chocolate (she was...
The Ghost And Ms. Chicken
"A romantic retreat is ruined by a haunted campground."
I'm Penelope Spade, budding Private Eye. Beside me, in my blue Mini Cooper as we cruise up Highway 71, sits Katrina, my tall, blonde lover, her shorts accentuating her long, sensual gams. I met her on my first caper, six...
Winter is Cumming part 2
"I take my new gf on a day of shopping, burgers and aging hair bands"
As the bright, invasive afternoon sunlight came streaming through my stained (with dust and dirt) glass window, I found myself spooning (and possibly forking) with my new dream girl, Winter Summer, whom I had met earlier at the Public Market....
BARBIE: Life in the Dreamhouse
"Can Barbie finally give up her toys?"
The first Barbie doll was sold on 9 March 1959. The rest is history as they say. The mythology surrounding the doll has become a Jungian archetype for American women. For these women Barbie is far more than a “toy”:...