"My soulmate isn't what I expected her to be."
A few years ago, I met my girlfriend at a friend’s Halloween party. It was on Devil’s Night, Halloween Eve. I wasn’t planning on going, but a couple of friends talked me into going. I didn’t wear a costume. It...
"One should always be cautious with terrors on the loose...or should you?"
Mouths salivated on receipt of random rimmings,The Booty Monster was on the prowl.Parting bubbly cheeks and swirling it’s licentious long tongue into women’s rectums all over town.Explosions of, ‘eat my fucking ass!’ from the windows of those chosen,Pleas of ‘please,...
"“You really have your penis inside me, Monty.”"
“Two reasons.”“Tell me, Gretel."“For the snacks.”“And?”“My peacock costume.”“You didn’t come to this Halloween party to hang out with me?”“Monty, you happened to be here.”“I invited you!”“You did?”“Gretel, you’re the one who told me to wear this Donald Duck outfit.”“No pants,...
"Treated"
Parents had taken their trick-or-treaters home. The moon was mostly full but mostly hidden by clouds. Sometimes it broke through a little bit, sometimes it was veiled and dark and sometimes it shined bright and drove most of the darkness...
"Caroline, you know how much I admire your talent as a sculptor. Your eye, the dexterity of your hands creating a work of art, it just staggers me.""Thank you, my love.""And what an honor it is that you would use...
"A ghost story told from the ghost’s point of view"
David Chamber approached the Halloween party very carefully. After all, he wasn’t invited and he wasn’t sure what kind of party this would be. It might be a bunch of young kids, in which case he would leave immediately. It...
"Meanwhile, at the Princess Asshole Hospice…"
Dr Hildegard Fotzenficker had had a hard couple of weeks. “Fucking overagers, fucking Undesirables, fucking escapees – fuck the whole fucking lot of them!” she grumbled to herself, as she sat at her large oak desk in her office at...
"The Serene Sisters hold a special Halloween celebration."
Laura Broderick was named for her mother. Most Americans wouldn’t recognize that because her mother’s name was Lowri. But if you were from Wales or knew any Welsh history, you would recognize that Lowri and Laura were the same name....
"A man's last story tells his children, and the world, why he wants to be buried in a local cemetery."
I don’t know why, but I have always been fascinated with cemeteries. As I travel around the country I often walk through graveyards– especially country graveyards– and visit the graves. Back home, I know most of the departed by name.Perhaps...
"The Company Benefits team is fun to hang with."
Donna was our company benefits coordinator and we had serendipitously hooked up at a company Halloween party last year. It took me quite a while to disclose to her who I was and who she had secretly hooked up with.Donna...
