"Asking a newspaper Agony Aunt for help"
Dear Phillipa,I am writing to you in a state of distress and frustration. The thing is this. A new girl moved in next door and she is driving me crazy. She sunbathes in her back garden nude every day and...
"Everyone Has Problems. I Do My Best To Help."
Now I don't know about you, but this global pandemic thingy has had a bit of a negative effect on my cash flow situation. Obviously, I've still got the blow job business which I've recently rebranded as 'Suck Jobs' with...
"Everyone has problems. I do my best to help."
This morning I popped down to Pret a Manger to meet up with my good friend Albert Einstein for a slice of red velvet cake with a vanilla butter-icing topping and a medium cappuccino on the side. "Albert Einstein," I...
"Everyone has problems. I do my best to help"
Following the incomparable commercial and critical success of 'Dear Cum - The Fools' I have been inundated with letters requesting that I publish the complete April Fool letter. Who would have thought that the adventures of a virgin, perky, pokie,...
"Everyone has problems. I do my best to help."
1 April 2021 Ms Cum GirlCum CottageLower Snatch DrippingCunnyshire Dear Ms CumIt has been brought to our attention here at 'The Daily Heil Publishing Corporation' that the saddo website you're so fond of frequenting is hosting an international competition, and that as...
"Everyone has problems. I do my best to help."
I thought we were quite done with these, but it seems that my publishers, 'The Daily Heil Publications Corporation', have a different opinion. We batted it back and forth for a few days without reaching much of a conclusion so...
"Everyone has problems. I try to help when I can."
Every once in a while I receive a letter from some deluded fool who fails to understand that this is a porn site and that all anyone is interested in is the before, during and after of exchanging seminal fluids....
"Everyone has problems. I do my best to help."
So that's what hate mail looks like. Another one to tick off my bucket list. To be honest I'm fairly certain that many of the kind suggestions I've received are physical impossibilities and I probably ought to clarify that I...
"Everyone has problems. I try to help when I can."
When I was smaller than my current five foot and maybe one inch I used to have an eagle-eyed Sindy doll. If I remember correctly, which is very unlikely, she'd gouged her eagle-eyes from a Special Boat Service Action Man...
"Everyone has problems. I try to help when I can."
Once in a while, you're presented with a Gordian Knot of a problem that just can't be unpicked even by my slender, delightfully proportioned and perfectly manicured fingers. Problems where Alexander's solution of taking an exceedingly sharp blade to all...