Jay and I walked over to the upperclassmen men’s dorm where the auditions for life drawing were taking place. I couldn’t believe I was going to volunteer to get naked in front of girls. Jay laughed. “You’ll get used to it and learn to enjoy it.
We got in line with forty other guys. They took two guys at a time inside. The first two were done in less than thirty seconds. Some guys stayed inside for up to fifteen minutes. I had no idea what the difference was. Finally it was our turn.
When we entered we were asked to give our names. When I told them mine one of the instructors said, “Oh, you’re the one who freaked out when Helen saw him naked in the shower. You’re dismissed, but wait for Jay please.” Word sure gets out quick.
They asked Jay if he had any reservations about appearing nude. He answered by taking off his speedo. Then one of the instructors asked him if his penis got any bigger. Jay stroked himself for about a minute to let them decide. “You’re dismissed, Jay. Thank you. We have plenty of other guys your size and shape with more interesting genitals.”
Jay was heartbroken. I figured it would take me a long time to live down the story about the shower room, so I wasn’t bothered. I saw Brett in line waiting and said hi. “Why are you guys here?” he asked. “Don’t you know that they prefer gay models? We gay guys aren’t getting a hard on every time we get naked in front of the girls. In addition, they like to do group work sometimes. We aren’t hung up on getting naked with each other and touching each other.”
Jay felt instantly better. He decided the reason given for dismissing him was false; they just didn’t want him because he was straight. I decided to let him think whatever he wanted.
We walked over to the Psych/Sociology building and got in line for the psych interviews. I tried to join Janice in line, but the girl in front of her said no cutting. Since she looked like she could take me apart without breaking a sweat I decided to go to the back of the line.
People were called in by groups of six. There had to be three females and three males. Every now and then the line stuttered waiting for a female to show up. There were more guys than girls in the line.
Finally we were called in along with another guy and three girls. Janice was one of the girls. I looked at her quizzically; she said she had hung back so she could go in with us.
There were four instructors in the room, two men and two women. One of the women pointed at Jay and told him that he would be expected to wear clothes if he worked as a subject in one of the programs. The other woman pointed at me and gave me some really unusual instructions.
“Pick out another person in your group and say something about that person that is absolutely true and is an insult.” That was easy.
I turned to Jay and told him, “You look like total crap in pink baby-doll pajamas.”
Jay and Janice both cracked up. The woman cautioned me that what I said had to be absolutely true. Jay told her he was my roommate and had come home from a party last night dressed in pink baby-doll pajamas as a joke.
It was Janice’s turn next. “Mark, you have a problem with premature ejaculation. You’re going to need to do something about that or the girls will lose interest.”
I turned beet red. Nobody was laughing, and the instructor accepted that this was absolutely true. The other two girls were looking at me like I was a disease.
Another girl, Samantha, went next. She turned to the other guy and said, “Harold, your roommate says you’re a virgin. I’ll bet that’s because you’re queer. I don’t see you with girls ever.”
I was sure the virgin part was true, otherwise I had no clue.
Jay went next. “Samantha, for a girl with your weight and looks you are unnecessarily cruel. Horny naked guys can get past your fat and your ugliness, but not your cruelty.”
The girl screamed at Jay and rushed at him with nails ready. One of the male instructors stopped her in mid-stride.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so his statements about your looks are not true. However, his accusation of cruelty sounds right. Also, you need to learn to roll with the punches.” The girl continued protesting and threatening Jay. She was dismissed.
It was then Harold’s turn. He turned to Janice and said, “You are flat-chested.” Well, it was certainly true. She had really small tits. Was it an insult? I wasn’t really sure. Janice told him she already knew and was fine with it.
The remaining girl, Charlene, went last. “Jay, part of sex appeal is mystery. Reconsider wearing just a speedo because there’s no mystery. Put on shirt and pants if you want pussy. We like to fantasize.”
I couldn’t determine if it was true, or even if it was an insult. The fourth instructor, a man, told Charlene she had just made the cut. The rest of us would be notified.
Janice, Jay, Charlene, Harold and I left together. We all congratulated Charlene. Jay even thanked her. Despite having had sex with about a dozen different girls and being perfectly comfortable naked in mixed company, he confessed that he still knew next to nothing about women. Janice told Charlene she had expressed the issue very well. She turned to me and said that even though most of the time we had spent together I had been naked, she still would like to start things off with me being dressed.
Harold confessed that the only girl who had ever seen him naked was his high school girlfriend. They had gone to her house after school one day after making elaborate preparations. They both got naked, not to mention embarrassed. They made out for a little while and engaged in some mutual masturbation. When they were ready Harold rolled a condom onto his dick. That’s when the girl’s mother walked in on them.
The mother screamed at him to get out and never return. He grabbed his pants and put them on while fleeing the scene. When he got home his father was waiting for him in the living room.
“Mrs. Martinez called and told me she caught you and Maria fucking. Is it true,?” his father asked.
Harold had mumbled something, not sure what was going to happen and scared shitless. “Not completely,” Harold replied. “We hadn’t started when her mother walked in on us.” Harold thought that this might buy him some mercy. His father then floored him.
“That’s a shame,” he said. “If you’re going to pay the price you should at least have gotten laid. The same thing happened to me and your Aunt Nora once.”
Harold was shocked. Aunt Nora was his mother’s sister. What was his father doing having sex with his wife’s sister?
His father continued. “Nora and I were going at it buck naked on her bed when your grandma walked in. Same thing, get out, but I was too close to cumming and kept banging her. When I finished I got dressed and went home. My mother insisted I go over to your grandma’s house and apologize to the whole family. Well, I did, and met the whole family, including the love of my life who is now my wife and your mother.
“After an inauspicious start we began dating secretly. If any of your grandparents had found out we would have been killed. Eventually we eloped, knowing that your Grandma Brenda would never attend the wedding. Your mother was already four months pregnant with you at the time. A month before she died last year your Grandma Brenda finally forgave me.”
Harold had had enough revelations for one day. He asked his father if there was anything else.
“Yes,” he replied. “Were you using a condom?” When Harold told him yes, his father shook his hand and said that was good.
“Always wear a condom. And recognize that sex is about a lot more than mechanics and orgasms. The best sex involves love.” His father then shook his hand again, and that was the end of it.
Charlene asked him if he was still a virgin. He was. She said, “That’s cool. You seem like a nice guy. You picked out someone to insult who you knew could dish it out. And you told her something that she probably already knew and had come to terms with. I like you.
“So, Harold, the mystery remains. You are fully dressed and I kind of like that. May I undo a few of the buttons on your shirt?” Harold put her hand at the top button and she undid about half of them.
She continued, “There’s still mystery, but a bit of tease. We like that.”
Jay returned to our room to get dressed while the rest of us continued talking. Charlene made no more comments about, or moves on, Harold. Janice pulled my shirt up and gave a little lick to each nipple, then let the shirt fall. I was getting horny.
When Jay came back he was in a suit and tie. “If mystery is what works, I want to be as mysterious as possible.” The girls told him it was a good look on him. I agreed and told him so.
“Jay, you wear clothes well. This is the first time I’ve ever seen you not naked or at least nearly so. You’re a fine looking man.” Harold, Charlene and Janice agreed.
Harold said that he had gotten an invitation to a sleeping apparel party for that night at Charlene’s dorm. Since he couldn’t enter her dorm without a specific invitation from the Senior Resident, that’s who had signed the invitation. He said he had accepted, but wasn’t sure what it was all about.
I stepped in. “Harold, your roommate will be interviewed on video about what you wear to bed. If you decide to go to the party, wear only that to the party. Otherwise you will be very embarrassed.”
Charlene asked the obvious question. “What do you wear to bed?” Harold told her he slept in his underwear.
“Let’s see,” said Charlene. We were near the middle of the school Quad and Harold looked around nervously. His hand went to his belt buckle but then retreated.
“Can I help?” asked Charlene. Harold nodded. Charlene finished unbuttoning his shirt and took it off. Harold slipped out of his sandals, and Charlene removed his jeans. Harold turned red with embarrassment. He was standing in the middle of the Quad in his red and white briefs.
“Nice,” said Charlene. “That’s out of the way now. I’m going to the party too, and if you attend I’m going to see you like this anyway.” She picked up his clothes and handed them to him. Harold gratefully got dressed.
After dinner that night Jack came by the room. By then Jay had switched to T-shirt and jeans. We were a matched set. Jack invited us to a question-and-answer session in one of the upperclassmen dorm lounges. Upperclassmen meant booze. We both accepted.
Jack and about twenty-five freshmen from our dorm went over to the upperclassmen dorm together. Jack, of course, was wearing striped boxers. Brett was in blue boxer-briefs, and about half of the guys were in their underwear. The rest of us wore clothes. Jay and I had learned a valuable lesson about mystery from Charlene.
