At the dawn of my life, I saw him appear,
like a prince from a story, but not quite sincere.
His smile, a beacon in my sea of despair,
promised love that would last, an eternal affair.
I saw him as perfect, my other half,
but in the end, he was my sorrow, my staff.
He spoke words that the wind just blew away,
empty promises that time would decay.
His eyes, mirrors to a soul I didn’t know,
now I see, at their core, deception did grow.
He gave me starry nights, days filled with sun,
but his love was a mirage, a cruel pun.
I cursed him with the hate of a thousand broken hearts,
with venom of snakes and all their darts.
Yet I loved him too, with all my might,
for in my soul’s chaos, he still felt right.
I loved him, but not in the way I once did,
now I wanted him like the storm craves the calm,
like fire to the forest it scorches and transforms.
He was my spite, my lovelessness, my sweet sentence.
And I wondered, as the world turned around,
how can someone be both my peace and my war?
he, who was my everything and my nothing.
And so, with that mix of love and hate eating me away,
I sought refuge in the only thing that seemed real between us.
We tangled in sheets of passion and deceit,
where my anger faded, lost in the dark night.
There, in the dimness of my bed, I gave myself without measure,
seeking in your arms redemption from my sentence.
Each kiss, a pact of fire and ice,
melting my courage, my soul.
I let myself be carried by his hands, his whispers, his scent,
believing that in ecstasy, I would find my calm.
But while I was giving him my being, my essence, my life,
he, in the silence of our nights, was uniting with another.
I didn’t know that while I was weaving dreams with him,
his mind had already chosen another woman.
But revelation hit with the force of a hurricane,
when in the echo of his promises, I saw the naked truth.
It wasn’t in bed, nor in the whisper of a dawn,
but in the act of his betrayal, where I saw his true self.
The truth, like a dagger, plunged into my chest,
seeing him in another’s arms, my world shattered.
His carelessness, now clear, was his betrayal,
and my love, a mistake, an illusion.
I found him, at the corner of my own house,
the one I built with dreams, with my life and my blood.
And without hesitation, with fury and disdain,
I cast him out of my world, tore him down with my verses.
“Get out, you coward, I don’t want you even on your knees,
there’s no forgiveness for one who strays my trust.
I thought you were my prince, my refuge, my calm,
but you were a traitor, a shadow with a bad name.”
My eyes, once filled with love and hope,
now looked at him with the coldness of a spear.
And as he left, dragging his sorry plight,
my soul filled with a new kind of might.
“Butterflies in my stomach?” I asked myself in pain,
“no, they were worms, feeding on my love.
Every word from him, a deception, a poison,
and I, blind, believing in his false sermon.”
And so, with a bleeding but firm heart,
I watched him leave, knowing we’d never be reunited.
Hatred grew, became my ally, my strength,
for in the end of it all, the truth set me free.
With time, my vision of love got distorted,
now I see only shadows, where there once was color.
The “together forever” became my biggest lie,
a broken promise, that in my mind expands.
If I miss him, I won’t go looking,
because love, I believe, is just a farce, a deception.
And if by some twisted fate I seek him,
i hope not to find him, not to see him, no.
But if misfortune leads me to see him again,
let it be in misery, at the bottom of the abyss,
where his smile echoes his own failure,
and his soul, a reflection of his own demise.
I watch those videos again, moments of passion,
where I gave myself, without reserve, without reason.
But now, in every image, in every motion,
i see his lost gaze, his absent soul.
In those moments, I gave everything, my being, my breath,
thinking in his arms I’d find my contentment.
But he, his mind was wandering elsewhere,
and I, unknowingly, in my surrender, was just a passing affair.
I now imagine, with the sadness of reality,
who will be the next one, the one who will slip between my legs,
upon which new body my sweat will fall,
in search of something real, a love that won’t deceive.
Two years of solitude, reflection, and healing,
taught me that love isn’t just about giving,
it’s also about protecting oneself, knowing, evaluating,
before letting someone new come in again.
Now, with caution, with a wiser soul,
i open myself to new love, not rushed, not delayed,
with the promise to not live with one who isn’t my glory,
until their loyalty, their truth, becomes my story.
And so, I’ve become a fortress,
a woman who loves, but with care and with tact,
knowing that in love, risk is inherent,
but who won’t surrender without first seeing the path.
I am the guardian of my own heart,
that has learned that not all is illusion,
that holds passion like a contained river,
ready to flow, but not to be defeated.
Will this new love be the true one,
or just another actor in my theater of disappointments?
only time will tell, in its unfolding,
but this time, I write my own ending.
