Pantomime

My insides are bruised,
Slightly twisted and abused,
As I take another drink,
I get lost, turn around, I get found,
Trying to heal, looking everywhere,
I take myself to the brink, to the edge,
Still believing in illusion,
Trying to forget everything,
Wipe the slate clean from start to finish
I am paranoid and dejected,
A loose end unprotected,
A little wicked and unhinged.

If I turn my back, do you think I wont feel the knife?
I want to be happy, I want to believe in something real,
Everything is upside-down, moving closer to the edge,
I keep testing my limits, pushing myself harder,
And I only wind up breaking my soul.

Feeling so fragmented, looking for another way to disappear,
I need a reason, to not let go, I need a love that never ends,
Falling through the atmosphere, god knows where I’ll go,
Everything seems pointless, when what I seek does not exist.

What’s the truth anyway?
Does anyone even know any more?
Nothing grows here any more, it’s all just some pantomime.