I am Ken and this is my husband, Keith. We married last year and I am happier than ever. But, my path to happiness was not an easy one. I would love to share my story with you.
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I guess I will start with my first memories. My stomach tightens as I think back to that time in my life. Let’s just say my childhood was not filled with laughter and acceptance. Every memory of my stepfather is a bad one. Momma married him when I was three years old. And he was a rotten son-of-a-bitch. From as early as I can remember, he called me horrendous names – too hateful to repeat to decent people. Does this shock you? Some people in this world should never be parents.
If you want an age, I guess I was in elementary school when it started. I think I acted differently than my brother. My stepfather detested me and let me know at every opportunity. And what’s worse, Momma saw how he treated me. She needed him for some reason. So, she would comfort me afterward, but never confronted him. With the name-calling came beatings. Just the sight of me sparked rage within him. He would unfasten his belt and come at me in the blink of an eye.
As a result, I tried to be as much like my brother as I could. In school, I joined sports like the other boys, even though I hated it. I even took a girl to Prom to try to fit in, you know, prove something. You wonder if I fucked her, I bet. Yes, I had sex with my date at Prom. I was not sexually attracted to her, but she stroked my cock. You know, I was a horny teenage boy and having my cock rubbed felt good.
I grew hard from her handjob and fucked her. It felt good physically, but I felt no emotional connection to her. None. My fantasies were about sex with a man. But, I couldn’t go there while living under his roof. As soon as I graduated high school, I moved out.
I was a little scared, but also relieved, to be out of that house and on my own. I worked hard and put myself through cosmetology school. I really wanted to become a hairdresser. I stayed in touch with my brother, but not my stepdad or Momma. I had grown bitter with Momma for letting him abuse me. She ended up being diagnosed with progressive cancer shortly after I started working as a hairdresser. And of course, her asshole husband abandoned her. It was then that I reconnected with her and moved her into my apartment, so I could care for her.
It was a time for forgiveness towards Momma. There she lay, her body broken by this horrid cancer, her heart broken by her heartless husband. One day, near the end of her life, I sat by her bed and asked her, “Momma, how could you let him do that to me?” She grabbed hold of my hand and tears streamed down her face. She said over and over how sorry she was. She just couldn’t stand up to him. She hated seeing him hurt me though. I know she did. I decided she did the best she could and forgave her.
My stepdad showed up to her funeral and I, no longer a helpless child, punched him in the face and not-so-gently escorted him out. Did it feel good to hit that son-of-a-bitch? Fuck yes! That was a healing moment, for sure!
But, don’t weep for me because of my childhood. It’s okay. I survived. It made me who I am today, so I don’t dwell on it. Thinking back to cosmetology school, that is where I had my first sexual encounter, meeting other gay men for the first time. I can’t explain it, but I just know when a man is gay or straight. There is a lingering look I guess when you introduce yourself. I met Charlie. He was my first sexual experience.
It started with a date. He asked me out to dinner. We instantly connected, talking easily, flirting. He invited me back to his apartment and although very nervous, I went. I knew what was going to happen and wasn’t sure I was ready for it. But, he took care of me. It was a very romantic, special night – just like the first time should be. We slowly undressed each other, touching, kissing. His pace was slow and unhurried which comforted me.
A man’s hand touched my cock for the first time. And when he slid me into his mouth, I almost blew. He knew I was struggling to control my orgasm while he sucked me. My sounds gave it away. Feeling empathy, he reassured me it was okay to quickly cum. “Just let go,” he encouraged. And I did – spurting my hot cum down another man’s throat for the first time.
This experience was monumental as it affirmed in my mind I was indeed gay. Nothing had ever felt so sexually arousing or satisfying. I loved everything about it – his hands squeezing my balls – his mouth licking my cock. All of it! And I wanted to return the favor.
We lay together for a while after I came, pillow talking, and kissing. When he felt I had recovered, he moved my hand to his semi-hard cock. Instinct took over, and I stroked him to fullness. I felt so sexy with his cock lengthening from my touches… my touches! He encouraged me to explore every inch of his cock and balls, squeezing, rubbing, tasting. We were both incredibly hot and excited and I remember begging him to fuck me.
I was scared as fuck it would hurt! But, he took care of that, lubing his finger, and rubbing around my asshole until I relaxed. Then, he pushed his finger inside, then two fingers, until I started to stretch. I positioned my body on my hands and knees and he moved in behind me. His hands stroked my back, reassuring me he would go slow. The first push from his cock stung. Really badly stung. But, he left it there and my body accepted him, allowing him to ease in further until he slid all the way inside me.
Are you wondering what it felt like? Full. I felt full. But, then he started to slowly thrust – gentle, controlled thrusts. And something inside felt unbelievably good. I found myself pushing my ass back against him, wanting more of his cock. This was the sexiest thing I had ever experienced. His pace quickened and I felt my balls tightening. It felt different than the usual tightening of my balls while masturbating. This was more intense.
I just suddenly exploded, cum shooting out my cock. He groaned behind me and I felt his cum coating the inside of my ass. He collapsed on top of me, crushing us both onto the bed, where we lay panting. That was the beginning of a new life for me – an exciting period of sexual exploration and enjoyment. I had waited such a long time to experience my fantasies. It was kind of overwhelming.
Charlie and I just casually dated for a few months, but then he moved away to open his own salon in his hometown. And, well, let’s just say I sowed some wild oats for awhile. My weekends were spent partying at gay bars, dabbling in some glory holes, as well. You do know what a glory hole is, don’t you? In case you don’t, I will enlighten you. You see, the bars I attended had special bathroom stalls. There were holes in the sides of the stall. And when you entered, something might poke through the hole for you to enjoy as you saw fit.
Ha! I know some of you are shocked right now. It was so hot back then. I wouldn’t do it now, as I see how dangerous it was. You didn’t know who was on the other end of that cock or where that cock had previously been. But, there was something so exciting about it. I sucked some. I stuck my own cock in a few holes and was sucked in return. I never let a cock fuck me though. Just oral sex – rubbing and sucking. But those were hot times for me – times of exploration. I felt free, you know?
Another big question I often get is, “How do you decide who is top and who is bottom in your relationships?”
Oh, that is such a loaded question. I have had some negative experiences around that very subject. Lots of men think if you are more masculine, you must be a top, and dominant in sexual relationships. And on the contrast, a more feminine man must be a submissive bottom. And like at the gay clubs, if you are a bottom, you are often referred to as a slut and there is sometimes shaming there, comparing you to a woman because you take in a cock.
So, there is an annoying division between gays when we should just focus on mutual sexual pleasure within our sex lives. Some are bottoms, some are tops, and some are versatile. And just because you start off one way, it doesn’t mean that is your lot in your sex life forever.
Like with me and my husband, I am a bottom and Keith here is a top. So, we fuck. I have been with men before where we were both bottoms, had no desire to penetrate, so we engaged in sixty-nine. We both got off wanking and sucking each other’s cocks. I was with one man who used a dildo on me because I really enjoy being fucked in the ass and he wasn’t into sticking his cock there. Think of all the ways heterosexuals have sex. All the different preferences. It is no different with gay males. Heterosexuals find mutual pleasure amidst the varying interests or they aren’t together. Same for us.
Oh my God, you wanna know about my first time with Keith? Oh, boy. Okay. Whew! It was so fucking hot. Keith is the more romantic of the two of us for sure. He surprised me by getting us a room at a swanky hotel downtown. He took me dancing at a club next door to the hotel. I have a little bit of a voyeur fetish, so I was already hot watching the other couples grind on the dance floor and make out in the booths.
Well, we left and went back to the room. We were on the sixth floor facing the street. Keith led me to the window and opened the curtains. Then, he pressed me against the window, kissing the back of my neck. “Hands up,” he gently ordered. I raised my hands, placing them on the window. He untucked my shirt and raised it over my head. His kisses moved from my neck down to my shoulders.
Keith reached to my front and unzipped my jeans, lowering them with my underwear. He helped me step out of them. My naked body was pressed against the window for any passerby who looked up to see. Fuck it was hot! I groaned, pushing my ass back against Keith’s hard cock. He unfastened his pants, releasing his cock. Shall I continue? Are you getting aroused listening to this?
So, he squirted some lube on his cock. I was desperate for him now, begging him to fuck me. I spied couples below walking on the sidewalk, making this all the hotter. Keith spread my ass cheeks and pressed his fat cock against my tight ass. It always hurts a little at first, so he took his time upon entry, gently pressing just the tip in and out until my ass relaxes. I always tell him when I am ready. Maybe I should quit here. No?
I begged him to push all the way in. I felt his rigid cock slowly, inch by inch, pushing inside my ass. The feeling was indescribable. He moved his hands to my hips and started his thrusting. My hands remained on the window, looking down at the people below. I felt so connected to Keith. He kissed the back of my neck and looked over my shoulder at the people below. We both saw them – that one couple who noticed us. I pleaded with Keith to fuck me harder.
I took one hand off the window and grabbed my cock, jacking myself, while Keith penetrated my ass. Faster and faster my hand moved, keeping time with his thrusts. We tried to sync our cumming. I told Keith when I was close and as I sprayed my seed on the window, I felt him filling my ass with his sperm. So fucking hot. Keith led me to the bed, where we collapsed together kissing and cuddling.
Some people think two men wouldn’t engage in aftercare, thinking that is a “female” need. Of course, we need aftercare too. We are not that different from you. It is just a matter of different body parts, but our emotional needs are the same. We feel closer to each other afterward and want to show our love with warm embraces and kissing.
What do I wish for us? I guess the big message I want to send to you is that we want to be treated like everyone else, no longer a strange anomaly in society. We want to become so accepted as part of the norm that there is no longer a need for a parade to gain awareness and acceptance. You don’t have “Straight” parades. Don’t keep us in a separate group. We are all human beings seeking love. No more parades.
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I hope you gained knowledge and enlightenment from this writing. Remember, labels are meant to describe, never divide.
