New Year’s Resolution-Chapter 4

"A journey back to living."

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April 1

Journal entry #3- I have a girlfriend.  It has been a long, long time since I have been able to say that.   I have been to the movies more in the last two weeks than I have been in the last two years.   We have gone out to dinner which is a lesson in ordering with Molly.  I cannot believe I ate the food they served before I realized how bad it was for the body.  We (it’s strange to say we again) have taken walks in the park, talking about the past, and our kids.

Molly and I have been going out doing things that normal couples do, except have make love.  It is apparent she is ready to move onto the next level physically with me but I am having a hard time moving on.   I know the reasons if I am completely honest with myself.

The main reason would mean I am moving in a direction away from Diane.  I realize that it is not cheating and that she would want me to be happy, but I don’t know if I would experience guilt after the act.  Would I resent Molly for being the next one?  Would I resent myself?

Right now I am trying to figure how to tell my kids know I am in a relationship with someone.  How would they feel about me or Molly?  I know I have to tell them before this bond becomes greater but having the right words elude me and the timing is always wrong or I keep telling myself it is.  I think over Easter weekend I am going to come clean and take my lumps.  I can only hope MJ and Erin are understanding of my feelings and get to know Molly a little bit before judgment.

The least of my worries is how I look and performance.  Obviously I have had sex before but this is going to be different than any other situation I have ever been.  The first time with Lisa was all that of a first time for both parties involved.  We were both filled with nerves hoping that the loss of innocence was as exciting as the stories heard from our friends.  It wasn’t but got better with practice.

Diane was so much different from Lisa.  As cliché as it sounds, our first time together was after senior prom.  We were both high in love and excited about our future.  The result of that night was an unexpected pregnancy, marriage, and life altering events that brought me my son and later my daughter. 

But now, I have not ridden that bicycle in a long time and without a whole lot of variety of women.  My total number of partners can be counted on two fingers.  I would need both hands for Molly.  Am I scared?  I don’t think its fear.  It feels like being the new kid in a new school.  I am anxious, nervous, and excited all at the same time.  I really want to do well but don’t have a solid footing.

Since last month I’ve decided that the only way I can go now is forward.  If that means exposing those feelings I have not let myself have the last two years and take some risk, so be it.  I want to experience life again and whatever comes my way I can handle it because I have already gone through the worst.

-=-

April 5

What a great day for a jog.  I can actually jog to the gym now and has brought me a sense of accomplishment.  I am getting myself mentally ready for the work out Marco is thinking for me and I am ready for it.  He hardly ever needs to motivate me since I am doing it myself.  Looking good naked again may have something to do with my discipline.

At the front desk is Maria looking fantastic in a sports bra that appears to have been painted on and yoga pants.  If I ever have the chance to meet the inventor of this kind of athletic wear for women, I may give him or her, a big, fat, sloppy kiss.

 “Good morning, Maria.” I say with a grin.  “How are you?

“Good morning to you, Mike,” she says.  “I’m good.  How are you doing?”

“I am doing great, thank you very much. I need to get to Bill for my three month check to confirm that feeling, and then let Marco work me over, and top it off with Heidi magic fingers.  See you later.”

“About that,” Maria says stopping me in my tracks, “there are some changes to that routine for you.  For the next few months I am going to be your trainer.  We felt it about time to change it up.  So when you get finished with my man, I get to work you over.”

“Ok, sounds good, what do you have planned?” I ask.

“We will start out slow,” Maria says with a wicked smirk, “and increase the intensity gradually.  The best part is you hardly move at all.”

 “Great, see you soon.”  My nether regions decided to perk up at that double entendre and immediately thought of baseball to keep it in check.

I walk away towards the locker room feeling a disappointed.  Marco and I have been real good together and now they decide I need a change of pace.  What the hell is with that?  Well, it doesn’t matter who works me, I still have a goal to reach.  And then I remember Marco saying that more than he wanted to help me in my journey.  If Maria wants a hand in it, so be it.

-=-

“12 pounds?  That’s it, only 12 pounds?”  I say dumbfounded by weight loss this last month.  I’m completely deflated.

“Mike you started at 331 and now at 268,” Bill says calmly.  “That is a loss of 63 pounds in a little over three months for an average of 21 pounds per month.  That is an incredibly fast rate.  What your body is experiencing is survival mode now, hoarding calories to keep all the weight on.  I knew this was going to happen eventually as it happens to all of us who have done this journey.  Talk with Molly about eating more calories to trick the body into losing the fat and keeping the muscle.  She knows what to do.  Get out of here for your training with the missus.  Could you please let her know I am going to be late getting home tonight?”

“Are sure this is just a normal bump? It’s nothing to worry about?”

“None at all, you are on a good track.  Your goal is ten pounds per month and did achieve it for March.   In fact, I don’t want to see you here for another three months as long as your bloodwork looks good. We will take a look right before July 4.  I don’t want to think about losing weight, just the bad habits.  Just as you know, you can have all the help you want and/or need from anyone here. ”

“Thanks for that.  I will let her know you’ll be late.”

-=-

I thought with Maria working me I was to do a few exercises, and then watch her in that miniscule outfit she had on but alas, that was not to be. Maria decided to put me through the unexpected.  So much so that after ten minutes I had to concentrate on what I was doing.  I completely forgot about the magical fairy with the large sweaty breasts next to me.

Yoga!  I cannot believe that I feel drained and yet revitalized by an hour of yoga.  Maria said that I would not have to move much but holy shit that was harder than I thought.  Breathe in, out, downward dog, up dog, warrior one, two and three.  Over and over she ran me those and a few other poses and the sweat rolled off me.  I once thought of this kind of exercise as kind of girly but after going through a beginner level, I have a little more respect.

Showered and changed (without the enema this month) I was wondering what Heidi had in store for me.  I was quickly halted as Ann was waiting for me in the massage therapy room.  Just one more surprise to add to the day I’ve been having. 

Ann was dressed in a beautiful traditional geisha kimono or I assume so.  The air is has a spicy scent as opposed to the normal floral smell Heidi uses and the music is more in line with the Asian milieu.  The table is almost on the ground with two bars suspended from the ceiling.  Can this day get any stranger?

“Hey Ann,” I say.  “What’s up?”

“Heidi and I thought it was time you experience something a little different and a bit more intense. First, I have prepared you a Traditional Chinese Medical tea made specifically for you derived from the results of the past three months’ health checks.  It will assist in the detox process,” she began.

“Second, we have prepared the room today for an Ashiatsu Barefoot massage for your back.  This kind of massage dates back to the Japanese circa 12th century and is relatively painless.  I say relatively because this is going to be a deeper massage that what you would get from a Swedish simply because the therapist can apply more pressure with body weight. 

“Your legs and front are going to be a different.  I will perform a traditional Shiatsu massage.  It is similar to the Swedish but I am going to concentrate most of my efforts into pressure points along your meridians.  Some of these will be uncomfortable and others you may experience a burning pain.  Try and breathe through it is the best way to handle the discomfort.  Any questions?”

“Only a couple of hundred,” I reply.  “I assume you know how to do this, but how do you learn such a thing?   What are meridians?  And what is exactly in the tea and will I have any adverse effects from it?”

“Traditional Chinese Medicine, or TCM, has been taught and used in my family for as long as I can remember.  Meridians, in simple terms, move the Qi or life force throughout your body.  I can supply some material if you want to understand it a little better.  It takes quite a few years to understand and heal the body properly through TCM.

“The tea is all natural herbs, roots, and berries that have characteristics that will help the healing process by extracting toxins from various organs.  I have never had anyone receive a reaction to this specific tea.  And yes, I am also a trained nurse by the Western medicine but when Dr. Bill saw I was trained with TCM, he thought it as an advantage.  I can look and see solutions two different healing ways for a variety of maladies.

“Now, before we start, Heidi has informed me you both prefer to be nude for your time here.  You may not have the same level of comfort with me yet, this is no problem.  My job is easier if you are relaxed and whatever state of dress you decide, I will emulate.”

“For the last few months,” I start, “I have been experiencing so many new things and all have been uncomfortable at first, but also have helped me grow personally and professionally.  I feel better than I have in a long time and my coding has taken on a new level I have not had before.  I trust everyone here at the gym that has helped me, you included, so let’s go naked.”

“Great, drop the towel for your progress photo, drink the whole glass of tea, and get on the table.”

“One thing, before you disrobe would it be alright with you if I lie down and close my eyes first?  Molly and I have an understanding and would not want to break her trust.”

“That is incredibly sweet and of course I will respect to your wishes.  Bottoms up and say cheese.”

-=-

April 13

I am in the zone.  A few more emails and I can call it a day.  Since the beginning of the year I don’t think my work has ever been better.   All the code I’ve written has had fewer errors and the results have been exactly what the clients had been looking for.  A happy client means more referrals and means more work for me.   

I am going as fast as I can since a date later tonight.  I also need to clean up the house as the kids are coming home tomorrow afternoon for Easter weekend.  I pause, thinking about the best way to tell them about my feeling for Molly.  Needless to say I am worried of their reaction.   The only way I know how is direct and up front.  I’ve never lied to them and won’t start now.

As I start the next email, I receive a ping on my computer from Molly.   Her ears must have been ringing. “Are you busy?  Would you call me when you get a chance?  It’s about tonight. Thanks.”

“Hello, Michael,” as Molly picks up on the first ring. “Is this a good time?”

“What’s shaking babe?” I respond.

“Nothing here, what’s shaking there?”

“All four cheeks and a couple of chins, what’s up?”

“Well… do you remember when we had our first dinner on St. Patrick’s Day?” she asks.  “And we agreed about my relationship with Heidi would not be a problem for you?  Well, John and Marco are going away for the weekend and she asked me to keep her company.   Would that be ok with you?”

”To be honest, I was kind of looking forward to tonight.  The kids are coming home tomorrow and I won’t see you again until Monday.  But seeing as we have been spending a lot of time together and we do have a deal, I understand.  Will you please call or text me when you get home so I know you are safe?”

“Ummm,” she says tentatively, “Michael, I plan on spending the night.”

“Oh, well, ah, isn’t this awkward?  My girl wants permission to sleep with another woman.  I’m in unchartered territory but go, have fun, paint your nails, give each other a facial.   If there are pillow fights, I want to know what kind of underwear you have on. Call or text me later if you want, I’ll probably be up watching hockey.  On a side note, I plan on telling MJ and Erin about us this weekend.  Have you told Patti yet?”

“First, Michael thank you for tonight, you are the sweetest man I know.

 And just so you know we don’t wear underwear for the pillow fights.   Second, I have already told Patti about us.  She is not only my daughter but my best friend.  She would like to meet you when the semester ends if we are still together.  I will call you before I go to sleep if you want.”

“I want.  Have fun and tell Heidi ‘Happy Easter’ from me.”

“I will, good bye Michael,” ending the call.

-=-

Here we go to overtime.  Watching playoff hockey so much better than the basketball; it is rare for an eighth seeded team to even compete in basketball let alone win.  But hockey is more a team effort and anything can happen and occasionally does.  The intermission is almost over and overtime is about to begin.  

With my second, and last, beer in hand I realize I’m sitting in the same chair I was during Christmas after the kids gave me the gym membership present.  If you would have bet me then that I would have lost over 60 pounds, gain a group of friends who wanted me happy, and a girlfriend who cares for me, I would have lost a lot of money.  2017 is looking like it is going to be a great year.  The ringtone of I assigned for Molly ends my thoughts.

“Hello angel, I was just thinking about you,” I say with a big smile on my face.

“Well hello Mike,” Heidi replies.  “How is your evening going?  Mine is going wonderfully.”  The phone is obviously on speaker but I’m unsure what’s going on.

“Hey Heidi, I think you have Molly’s phone.  Is she there?”

“Yes Mike, this is her phone and yes she is here but she is a little tied up right now and can’t come to the phone.  She may not be allowed to come at all if she does not obey, isn’t that right Molly?  I’m sorry I can’t hear you.  What was that?  What, can’t you talk with your panties in your mouth?  Never mind, just keep silent until I am done talking to your stud.

“Sorry Mike for the interruption.  Where was I?  Oh, yes I remember.  Molly said that you suggested we do our nails, give each other a facial, and have a pillow fight.  They were excellent suggestions.  She did paint my nails in a bright fuck me red which I know John will enjoy.  Then I gave her a facial but probably not the kind you had in mind.  And why use a pillow when a paddle will make her bare ass pink so much better.  Are you still there Mike?”

“I’m here.  Are you telling me you have been hitting her?  Is she all right?”  I am having an image of a naked Heidi paddling Molly and I am strangely aroused.

“Yes Mike, she is fine, a little uncomfortable and very frustrated, but fine.  Would you like to hear it for yourself?  Molly, tell your man that you are ok and everything is good.”

“Michael,” I hear Molly’s voice but not the normal tone, it’s softer and more quiet than normal.  “I am fine.”

“Tell him what you have done,” Heidi states, “and what are the consequences.”

“I mistakenly wore underwear here and Heidi is correcting my lapse.  She ordered me to bath her, shave her legs, and…..and…”

“Say the word!” Heidi demands.

“And shave her…pussy.  She paddled each check for punishment and correction.”

“That’s enough slut.  Mike, what she has not said is that in addition to the spanking of her mighty fine ass she is tied to my bed spread eagled.  You see, when you are invited to my house you need to follow my rules.  You break the rules, you face the punishment. 

“I have been having a wonderful time bringing her to the edge of orgasm only to deny her release.   I may or may not allow her to contact you in the morning.  Good night Mike.” 

The phone disconnects and curiously I am hard as stone.  Forget overtime, I need release.

-=-

April 17

This has been a long weekend.  It started Thursday night with the call from Heidi and her actions with Molly.  How come I was a little pissed off and jealous but so turned on?   Then the next day I get a vague text from Molly’s saying “Thank you for giving me last night, have a great weekend with MJ and Erin.  We will talk on Monday.”  What the hell?

 I sit in my kitchen awaiting Molly’s arrival and my anxiety floats to the surface.  My stomach is in knots thinking about the kind of relationship Molly has in mind for us. I have never in my life hit another person except in sports.  When married, Diane was always the disciplinarian.  On the rare occasion when punishment was necessary it usually meant television restriction or if the “crime” was severe, a grounding.  If expects me to strike her, I am not the person for her.  That is disheartening as she is my first thought these days waking and the last before sleeping. 

The knocking on the front door brings me out of my stupor.  My palms are sweating and the butterflies in my stomach have started to do the rumba.  I have a feeling like I’m walking the last mile.  But as the door opens and I look into the eyes, I know I will try and do anything to make her happy. The moment Molly steps inside into my waiting arms my nerves calm and everything is right again.

“Hello, Michael.”

“Hello gorgeous.  How was your weekend?”

“Let’s talk and eat,” Molly says quickly and heads toward the kitchen.  “I have to try and explain.”

“Ok,” I reply, “why don’t you sit and start talking, I will get everything out.  What do you want to drink?”

“Water please,” as she eases into the stool on the island.  “Let’s start with the elephant in the room.  Please I would like to say what I have to without interruption.  If you want to ask anything, can you wait until I am done?”

I nod and place the sandwiches and pasta salad from yesterday’s left overs in front of both of us as well as a bottle of water.

“As I have said,” she continues.  ”Heidi and I have a special relationship going on for quite some time now.  Our dynamic is very simple and yet complex.”  Taking a sip of water and a deep breath, “When we are together she has a need to be in control and I have a need to submit to her.  It is similar to the BDSM lifestyle privately but as strict as Dominant and submissive roles publically.  It’ a yearning to please her,   I cannot explain why I have these feelings with her but I just do.  I don’t have same desire with others, just her.

”Heidi likes to do things to me that at times make me uncomfortable whether in public or in private.  The phone call from Thursday is excellent example and I can only apologize to you if it made you uneasy.  If it were up to me, I would have talked to you about my and Heidi’s sexual kink before she demanded my phone. 

“The rest of the weekend I felt scared.  I don’t know how you are going to react to the call before we got our chance together.   If you want me to go, I’ll understand.”

“Please, don’t go,” I say.  “And please eat something.  WE have been on my mind all weekend but when I saw you at my door, all my concerns left me.   WE are right where we belong.

“To start, you are who you are and there is nothing I would change about you.  If you like to be hit from Heidi, who am I to say no if it makes you happy?  If you expect me to do the same, I don’t know if I am able.”

“Michael, it was not hitting to hurt but a paddling.  Yes, technically it was a ‘punishment’ but I enjoy the occasional spanking as it really turns me on.  If I am really horny, I can have a massive orgasm with no other contact.”

”Ok, I don’t get it but ok.  I am hoping you can have the same in an hour or two.”

“Michael, what exactly are you saying?”

“I am asking you if you would like to come upstairs with me so I can make love with you.  I spoke with MJ and Erin yesterday and when everything was said, we all were crying.  They said if you made me happy they would love you no matter what.  So, want to go see if my plumbing still works?”

“I would love to help clean your pipes.”

Ascending the stairs the nerves make a glorious return.  I am suddenly racked with doubt if this was the right time and place to take such a big step.

“Michael, are you sure you want to do this?”  She speaks bringing be back to the moment.

“Yes,” I say quickly, and then stop and think, and continue into my bedroom.  “Yes, I really want to be with you.  But I… how do I put this?  I am a little nervous, about your expectations and my performance.  I have not made love in over two years and suffice it to say I am a little rusty and very unsure of my moves.”

 “Want to know what’s funny?  Heidi told me Friday that we would have sex today.  She also said that you would be hesitant, nervous, and tentative.  It may be that I may have to take a more aggressive role than I am used to.  She also said that I would definitely NOT be disappointed with your equipment.  So why don’t you put on some music, let’s dance for a little bit and make our own moves together.”

After turning on an easy listening station I turn to face Molly to memorize this moment.  Standing there in a green button down sweater and jeans gone white from wear and washing, I realize I am the luckiest guy ever.  We close the distance between us and easily fold into each other as though the most natural of feelings.

With her hands wrapped around my neck and her head on my shoulder, I  pull her in closer to me and breathe her in.  I feel her breasts pressed against me and feel myself harden.  Molly acknowledges the arousal by pressing her heat closer and with a groan arches her back forcing her eyes up and into mine.  I see the yearning, the need, and the hunger.  When our lips touch all the passion we feel goes into the kiss.

Stepping back I feel the world shift.  Starting at the top of the sweater while maintaining eye contact, I slowly and carefully undo each button.  The music is still softly playing and although we have stopped dancing, I feel movement from of the intensity of the gaze and tension of caged arousal.  The sweater flows off her shoulders and pools quietly at her feet.  I slowly glance down taking in the moment.  Stunning is the only word that comes to mind when I see the most perfect pair of breasts enclosed in an emerald green lace bra.  For a moment, I forget to breathe but quickly remember there is more work to do.

I look up and see those eyes are now half closed, and the normally milky skin is flushed pink with excitement.   I slightly nod to her looking for consent to continue which is returned.  No words are needed.  Again reaching out, I at last touch the bare midriff and up and then down her ribcage drawing a heavy sigh for the effort.  My hands are shaking with excitement while I undo the button on her jeans and a quiver ripples through her as the zipper is drawn down.  With deep concentration, I close my eyes and push the jeans over her hips, down her legs and finally through her bare feet.  What is left is a revealing matching panty.   I stand and look, frozen in awe.

Molly steps forward for a soft, soothing embrace that turns hot feeling her pressed onto my now aching hardness.  Her hands follow a similar path as my own from my stomach up to my chest and down my sides.  Grabbing the hem of my t-shirt, she lifts it up and over my head dropping it behind me.  Proceeding slowly, her hands descend lightly scratching her way down over my nipples, past my stomach, and over my shorts causing my cock to jump.  I am hoping I don’t embarrass myself.   Without delay, Molly grabs both shorts and boxer briefs pushing them down to my ankles.

As she begins stroking my hardened member, I reach around for the clasp of her bra but unable to find it.  Molly senses my dismay, reluctantly releases me and undoes the front snap exposing large firm breasts with small, pink, erect nipples. 

Sweeping her up in my arms I walk to the bed and gently lay her down and gently remove the barrier to heaven.  Our hands are now touching with more meaning, finding those spots on each other that add gas to the already hot fire.  I find her hot and wet.  If this continues it will be over before it starts.  I reach the bedside table for a condom but intercepted with a firm hand, a smile, and shake of her head.

Her legs part and lift in a welcoming.  I hover atop her flushed body, bending down for a loving kiss.  Molly grabs my manhood and rubs it against her, preparing it for consummating our union creating a moan from both of us.  At last, she arches and inserts me into her womanhood.  Breaking the kiss I rise to see her eyes half closed, cheeks pink, breath short and choppy.  I ease forward until completed embedded emitting a heavy sigh.  I, pausing again for a mental picture of what I see and how I fee, begin to make love to this wonderful woman in slow long strokes.   Molly opens those beautiful eyes and looks into my soul.  I increase the pace, she does the same.  I feel her gripping me in her velvet vice, causing me to move faster, causing her to tighten more until we can no longer hold back the flood of emotion.   She clamps down one last time, screams, and explodes uttering incomprehensible words squeezing my orgasm from me.  With one final thrust I follow her into bliss.

After a bit of time I realize I can hear the music again but also notice Molly is crying silently.

“Are you alright?  I hope I didn’t hurt you,” I say gently.

“No Michael, I am not at all hurt.  That was the most intense act of love I have had.”  Molly says, and then takes a deep cleansing breath.  “Can you just hold me for a bit?  Please?”

“As long as you want, come here.”

-=-

Feel free to leave comments and criticism, thanks you for reading the story.

 

Published 8 years ago

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