Sitting at my writing desk, I stare into my computer screen, having just finished the twentieth edit of my latest hot, erotic story. It’s my last check.
Now it is just a final read-through and a click on the LushStories publish button.
I smile to myself. It has been two and a half years since I began my quest for the omnium badge. It is the site’s most desired honour, and this genre, Supernatural, is the only category that I need to complete for me to gain it.
Then I hear the study door open, and I turn to see my wife walking into the room.
With a warm smile, I absorb the hint she is emitting about her alluring body, just the merest of peeks that escape from the contours of her summer dress.
She asks, “I am making a cup of tea and then going to bed… Do you want one?”
My smile breaks out into a grin as a glint appears in my eye, and my industrious mind begins to think that she is offering something more than just a mug of tea.
She instantly picks up on it—it wasn’t hard—and quickly remarks, “A cup of tea, David!”
My grin disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, I had been told. “A mug of Yorkshire, please.” I then thoughtfully added, “I am nearly finished here – just one more read-through.”
“Another hour then!” She knowingly exclaims.
“My wife knows me so well,” I reflect, so I suggest, “Thirty minutes – tops!”
She smiles and then, unusually, shows an interest in what I am writing. Her arms lovingly wrap around my body, while her eyes start to read the words of my story on my computer screen.
She giggles. “Once upon a time… that is not a very original way to start a story.”
“Yes, it is!
“I doubt any other author on LushStories has started their erotic story in that way!”
“David, there’s a reason for that… Anyway, where is the good stuff – the porn?”
“It’s later, and it is not porn; it’s erotica,” I reply, still preoccupied with my story’s first line…
“How about… Are you sitting comfortably, and then I will begin?”
My wife rolls her eyes but laughs. “You are going to be at least an hour… I will go and make you a cup of tea.”
I watch her bottom slowly wiggling away, knowing that she is teasing me. Then I remember the tea and call out, “A mug… Please.”
She lovingly waves back at me with her middle finger, still laughing.
“Yes, one mug of tea will be fine,” I chuckle back.
She closes the door, and I return to my writing, choosing to leave the first line – unique!
I then click the button, asking the computer to read my story aloud back to me, knowing that if I try to read it for myself, it will be perfect!
The computer’s speakers come alive as the words start to flow and fill my study.
“Once upon a time… blah-blah-blah…”
I intensely listen, only pausing when my mug of strong Yorkshire tea arrives. I thank my wife and then reinforce my gratification by gently patting her tight bottom. My action produces a little giggle from her.
I restart the auto reader, and I listen to my story as it slowly plays out.
“—blah-blah-blah… and they all lived happily ever after. The End.”
With a relieved smile, I shut down the auto-reader.
“Perfect,” I think. “It is time to send it in to the hard-working moderators.”
Without another thought, I click on the publish button…
There is an unexpected sound from my computer as the screen goes fuzzy, and then, black and white snow begins to engulf me as it pours from the computer screen. I reach out, trying to grasp my mug of tea, but my hand passes through it as if it weren’t there.
I feel light, then weightless. My legs float above my head as I am sucked into my computer screen, and my hand passes through everything that I try to grab. Then darkness and, with it, an unnerving quietness as I float in the air; the only light is a circle above me, which is slowly diminishing as I gradually fall. Although perhaps strangely, I do not feel scared, my mind is now thinking, “That must be my way out!”
As I slowly descend, I try to work out what is happening to me.
However, it’s only a few seconds before I see wisps of light flashing past me, ghostly visions, as random words are whispered in the air and then surround me. I realised I was being reminded about my grammar. It was never the best; I used to use too many ellipses…
Now knowing what they are, I answer back, chuckling, “I… am… better… today,” as I remember back to my early story efforts, before I became the ‘best author on the planet‘.
There is an image of a man with a beard; as he floats by, I recognise him. “G’day, mate!” He’s Australian.
I continue to fall, darkness still below me. A lady with long, flowing red hair and luscious lips waves at me and then smiles. Then, I pass a smart-looking Fox, a man with a bowler hat, which he doffs, and a lady stroking a white cat that runs away. “Butters,” she calls as she chases it.
I duck. A W-scrabble-square flies past my head, only to be replaced by a fairy that stabs me in the nose with her wand and then asks, “Have I won yet?”
Below me, I see an orange glow as the last vision floats past. It is a lady carrying a rainbow umbrella, and she wishes me, “Good Luck!”
I slowly fall, the darkness replaced by a warm orange light. Alarmingly, I notice that my clothes are falling away.
I’m naked… my ten-inch cock dangling down between my legs, my descent slowing. I stop and hover there in mid-air, a warm orange hue surrounding me. But I do not feel threatened or aroused, my mind still wondering if it was all a weird dream.
My attention is drawn to something in front of me.
A bright glow moves ever closer, and it is only then that I realise that I am unable to move – that I have no choice but to watch!
The ghostly entity flickers like a flame in the hearth. There is no sound, no shape to the image, other than a multitude of orange tentacles that seem to have their own life as they spit out a crackle of unseen energy.
Then whatever it is stops.
It is no more than twenty feet in front of me. All my attention is now drawn towards the flickering flames as the entity morphs into a beautiful naked woman. Although the four unnatural wafting tentacles remain, each one sprouting out of her back, similar to angel wings.
“Who are you?” I asked, sounding braver than I currently feel, although I am aware of warmth and a euphoric sensation surrounding my body. That feeling helps me, and I sense that the striking woman, a phantom, was not here to hurt me.
“I’m Ms Lush,” the entity announces in a loud yet feminine voice. “I am the arbitrator, the ultimate moderator, and it’s up to me to see if you are worthy of carrying the most precious gift LushStories can offer—an omnium badge.“
“Where are we?” I ask, still trying to adjust to my new surroundings.
“We are in the bowels of Lush Towers, in the void under the basement where Lush’s moderators live.”
She then crackles, “Sometimes they send me the odd wayward member to deal with…”
An abrupt, high-pitched wail erupts from the entity as her eyes flare red, and her tentacles multiply and begin to thrash about. Their crackling sparks disappeared into the endless void that surrounded us. With me now covering my ears, the noise turns into a squeal, but then it abruptly stops.
“Sorry about that. I don’t get out as much as I used to, and I just needed a bit of practice for the next naughty Lush member who is sent my way.”
I look again at the floating entity. She was once again a beautiful woman, her eyes a chocolate brown, her long hair a flaming red, and still nude, my eyes drawn first to her full breasts and then to the fiery fur that covered her vagina. The only off-putting part of her body was the four orange tentacles, which still quietly crackled as they waved behind Ms Lush.
I looked down towards my thick, ten-inch cock and then flashed back at the beautiful entity as I had a thought.
“Ms Lush… Is this all real?”
“Of course it’s real; it’s going on in your head,” she replied dismissively.
I shut up and watch as a tentacle produces a blackboard with LushStories written on the top of it. Below was a place for my name, and then there were labelled boxes, one for each of the story genres, with the I/F box marked optional.
“Now, we need to see if you are WORTHY of an omnium badge, as we don’t give them out to anybody. Three crosses and you’re out of here – REJECTED.”
“Rejected?” I question, “But I have written a story in all fifty-eight genres, including the one we are not allowed to mention.”
“That might be the case. However, at Lush, we are very selective about who receives the omnium badge, which is why there are only eighteen members. You never hear what happens to the authors who fail at this last step.
“Now, what is your name?”
“David.”
“Not your human name, the one that matters… Your LushStories name.”
“Wxt55uk,” I stutter.
“What a stupid name, you cannot even say it!
“Why didn’t you choose a name someone can pronounce?”
“It’s unique,” I offer, hoping.
“There is a reason for that!” Ms Lush exclaimed, sounding very much like my wife.
“That is one black mark against your name, two more, and you are REJECTED.”
Using a piece of chalk, she scribbles a cross at the top of the board.
“From now on, I am going to call you ‘David’, as I, or anyone else, cannot pronounce your REAL name!”
“So I have lost a life, and we haven’t even started?”
“That’s correct… But you can win them back.”
“How?” I ask, now worried that my ‘judgement’ was starting on minus one instead of zero.
“David… How many recommended reads have you?”
“None,” I reply. “Well, one. I came tenth in the ‘Swinging into Christmas’ competition.”
“Tenth, is that all?”
“That’s all I have to offer,” I suggest. “But I did write a tale with a weightless orgy and a real whodunit story with clues for the Lush members to solve the crime. Surely they count?”
“Hmm… we will see!”
With an unimpressed look, Ms Lush then extends one of her tentacles towards me, a female hand now on the end of it. She fondles my cock and suggests, “That is what worries me. Most male authors who stand naked before me have at least chosen a twelve-inch cock!
“I wanted something smaller than the one I have in real life,” I retort, knowing it was a lie.
“I have not heard that one before!” Ms Lush chuckled and then stated, “You made me feel generous, and I remember that I did chuckle at the clever twist in your ‘Festive Flash’ story. I’m going to let you start on zero.”
Ms Lush rubs the cross out, and I feel relieved to be back on nought.
“Now, let’s have a flip through your stories to see if they are good enough. Anal. Tick. BDSM. Tick. Bisexual. Tick… Hardcore. Tick. Historical… I like that one; pity about the middle… Horror… pity about the ending, minus one point… Tick.”
“I learned from that; I now write the ending before the middle,” I state enthusiastically.
“I see, minus another point for being slow on the uptake.”
I decide to keep quiet.
“Humour, you seemed to write a lot of that! Pity it is all schoolboy humour… Tick… Lesbian. Tick. Mind Control… clever twist, plus one point… Tick.”
I smile, now getting nervous.
“Novels. Tick. You seemed to have written a lot of them… Steampunk. Tick…
“Which brings me to your Tran’s story; I see you left that one to your penultimate effort!”
“That’s because it’s such a good story; I was waiting for a competition, as it might win,” I said smugly, knowing that wasn’t exactly true.
Ms Lush hissed, “Delusional!” Not being fooled. However, she still ticked the Trans box.
“…Watersports. Tick. Wife Lovers. Tick… Hmm, where’s the supernatural story?”
“You’re in it?”
“I’m in a story?”
“Yes.”
“But I am never in a story,” she excitedly remarks, suddenly interested.
I watched as one of Ms Lush’s tentacles produced a mirror from what seemed like thin air, while another, a brush, and she brushed her long red hair. At the same time, two more tentacles apply makeup.
“I thought you were an entity, so your looks can match your situation,” I suggest.
“Oh, I am, but I don’t want anyone to say I haven’t made the effort.”
“You know it’s just a story,” I remark. Now more relaxed, as I have passed the story genre test.
“So if this is a supernatural story, we will need some sex put into it. This is an adult site after all.”
“We are naked. Surely that’s enough for a supernatural story.”
“No, that will never do… Well, maybe for the voyeur genre, but for supernatural, my personal favourite category, I want to see a bit more… flesh.”
“I can edit, make my cock a bit longer, twelve inches!”
“Nope, there are no rewrites in my domain.”
“And if I do not do this?”
“No supernatural genre, no omnium badge… You will be REJECTED.”
“So I have to cheat on my wife to gain the ultimate reward.”
“I’m pleased you think I AM the ultimate reward,” she cackled, and then pointedly added. “It is not cheating, David, if your wife reads this story.”
“To clarify, you will take the shape of one of my LushStories characters, and I can experience sex with them?”
“Yes, David.”
“Okay, as this is only real because it is happening in my head, I will choose Clare from my ‘Friends, Rivals or Lovers’ novels, then. I have not told my readers yet, but her looks are based on the eighteen-year-old version of my wife.”
Ms Lush giggled. “I don’t think the nubile Clare would be good for a sixty-three-year-old man like yourself… There are no medical facilities down here!”
“How about JJ? She is a little older.”
“I don’t think her husband, John, would want that!”
Ms Lush let out a large cackle and then stated, “Anyway, who says you get to choose the character?
“This is my realm, my rules, and most importantly, I get to decide if you are omnium WORTHY…
“I will choose Richard from your second gay genre story, ‘The Queen’s Head – Part Two.”
“But I’m not gay!”
“I know, but we can call this RESEARCH.”
Two of Ms Lush’s tentacles hold me and put me in a red leather armchair as my mind remembers the story scene. My legs are pulled skywards as my arse is presented to the now rapidly altering entity; the beautiful nubile woman is being replaced by an older, hairy man – his head carrying a bald crown.
But it is not his head that I am looking at; it’s the large, erect cock that was pointing in my direction.
He is applying lube to it.
“I always wanted to do this to one of the authors who ends up down here in my realm,” Ms Lush tells me, her vision now a man, although her voice remained female.
She moves closer, though it is the cock that my eyes are focused on, with its two large hairy testicles hanging from its base. The now equally furry tentacles spread my bottom cheeks, and a dollop of lube is smeared onto my rear hole.
I gulp, knowing the story scene, and what happens next… I wonder if I can do a quick rewrite, then remember that you cannot alter a story in Ms Lush’s realm.
“Are you ready for some RESEARCH?” Ms Lush cackles.
I brace myself…
There is a crack and a flash of light.
I awake, clothed, with daylight all around me. My head was resting on the computer keyboard, its screen still flickering on the LushStories website. With a stretch, I sit up. My arse was sore but still intact, and my desk was still in front of me. I am home in my study, and I reach for my mug of tea. It is cold.
Only then did I feel a throbbing high up on my right arm. I roll up my sleeve, my attention briefly drawn towards my beautiful, naked wife, who walks into the study.
“I thought you had fallen asleep.”
“Who me? No, I have been wide awake,” which might have been true, but I wasn’t sure.
“Come and see my omnium badge,” I state enthusiastically. “It’s a black stripe with the word ‘omnium’ written within it.”
I show the badge on my upper arm to my wife.
“But you hate tattoos.”
“I know, but I love this one… I’m just surprised they have not stuck it on my arse.”
There is another loud crack and then a flash, and I am left holding my right buttock. The omnium badge that was on my arm has now gone.
I take off my trousers and roll down my boxer shorts. It only confirms what I had suspected. My omnium badge was now firmly imprinted on my right bottom cheek.
My wife started giggling as she looked at it. “Well, it’s lucky you haven’t got one on the other buttock as well. Then it would look like you have a tattooed smiley face on your bum.”
Crack… Flash… and then “owe” from me.
Ms Lush had been listening.
I look down at my left buttock and realise that it has the now-familiar dark black badge imprinted on that cheek, too.
With my wife doubled up laughing, I state, “A double omnium badge; I believe I am the first to win it.” Although as I say it, I know that from now on I will be smiling from both ends, especially when we visit naturist beaches.
I shut down my computer, not chancing Ms Lush listening; she might want my omnium badge back.
We walk towards our bedroom, and I lovingly state to my wife, “Darling, I have an unusual story for you to read… It is on LushStories.”
My wife rolls her eyes and says, “Really… Is it porn?”
Author’s Note: It’s been a fun ride, from the nineteenth omnium badge holder. Or if I miscounted the genres, this was a fun story to write for your highly embarrassed “almost” nineteenth omnium badge holder.
Author’s Note: All characters engaged in sexual acts are 18+. ©2026 wxt55uk. This story may not be reproduced in any manner without the express permission of the author.
