He was right. I just had other things on my mind. My coronation was a month away, and I was still stuck in daily lessons, which would continue even after I wore the crown.
“My lady. My lady, did you hear me?” I had not, I had been lost in thought of the coronation and in the lesson to follow this, swordsmanship. Uncle agreed with Auntie I took too much interest in the sword and also in the bow. I needed to learn these skills. They are just as important as trade routes and history.
“I apologize Henry. What was the question?” I asked, forcing myself to devote all of my attention to the subject. A queen must be able to focus on all her subjects and give her full attention to each matter about the running of the country.
“The question my lady was how would the increase in taxes charged by Mu on the wool trade from Sunderland affect us here?” he asked again his brow raising as his eyes bore down on me.
“Well, Master Henry, a raise of taxes on wool, would increase the price we pay Mu for the yarn they transport across the country and sell at their western harbors to us,” I said.
“Continue.” Master Henry prodded. His smile and his satisfied nod pleased me, as much as I disliked the lessons, I enjoyed being right.
“The tax would also force Sunderland to charge more to get the same value from the wool, which in turn would triple our cost. We would have to discontinue our wool trade with Mu breaking the Wool trade agreement and we would have exchanges with our Southern neighbors whose cost now is more expensive but would, therefore, be cheaper.” I added.
“What would be the the final result”? Master Henry prodded more.
“Thus the ending result may be offending Mu and restarting the battles that have long plagued our two countries,” I replied trying to keep the dull words from appearing so as I spoke them.
“Excellent my lady, now I expect there is a sword that is in dire need of being wielded,” he said smiling at me knowing it was those lessons I looked forward to each day.
The fighting is exhilarating, but that was not the only reason why I enjoyed the lessons. Sir Roland was the instructor. He knew not just the sword and archery, but he knew how the world truly worked and it was during our lessons every day that I learned of the world outside the palace. I thanked Master Henry and hurried to my apartments to change.
I donned a blue gambeson riddled with pearls the dressing maid had laid out for me. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to choose my clothes for once. I laughed aloud, reassuring Mary it was not her I was laughing at and stepped into the skirt she had laid out for me.
Mary’s a great servant. She rarely speaks to me, though. Before her, I had an older woman who always had snippets of advice about everything. Before her retirement I couldn’t wait for her endless tidbits on life to end, now I missed them. Mary, while much younger, was very demure. Mary was not an ugly woman but very dull. Her only feature that drew the eye from ordinary was her startling blue eyes.
I often imagined what it would be like not to have help dressing. Mary helped pull the skirt up to my hips and tightened the drawstrings in the back. She would have brushed my hair and made me don jewels to match the outfit had I not insisted I was already late. Instead, I wrapped the annoying lengths of auburn hair up into a bun. I’d cut it off at the shoulders if doing so would not cause shock and commotion throughout the court.
Sir Roland was nowhere to be seen as I entered the Grand Hall where we trained. I had expected to see the veteran knight leaning patiently against the sword rack; his stature posed and ready. I had become accustomed to seeing him so; his graying hair pulled back behind him tied with a simple leather thong. Sir Roland was more a retired soldier and less the noble.
The sword rack had been moved into the room and his coat rested on its corner. I slowly looked around the chamber only moving my eyes as I approached the stand cautiously. Sir Roland would be waiting in here somewhere, behind a column or curtain or the throne. I grabbed my sword and brought it to the ready position. I continued to look around the long hall, eyeing every place to hide as I slowly walked down the length of the room.
I listened to every sound, I slowed my heart and listened as I walked making sure my boots made no thudding noise as I stepped. As I approached the third set of columns, the curtains two columns down twitched ever so slightly. A smile crept across my lips; it could have been a draft but no other curtains moved. I stepped slowly around the fourth pillar and was about to strike when a shadow lunged at me from behind.
I spun, getting my sword up just in time to deflect his blade. His follow-on attacks came faster. I stepped back one foot after another. I fought off his relentless assault. It was all I could do to flick his attacks aside while counting the pillars. I changed pace and stepped forward and attacked throwing off his pressing assault and the rhythm or our dance. As soon as he faltered, I dodged between the pillars and rolled coming up to the middle of the hall.
“Superb.” He said the first words he had spoken since he began his attack. I smiled even more broadly at his praise than that of Master Henry’s.
“I have a masterful instructor,” I said laughing as he approached. I began my counter-assault instead of waiting for him to attack me. We traded banter back and forth as he tried to frustrate or anger me into making a mistake.
It finally ended with me feinting an attack coming from down low and swinging high, he deflected the attack and smacked my hand with the flat of his blade. The sound of my sword hitting the polished tile rang through the hall and my hand stung terribly. I could not help but yelp as I leaped back and clutched my wounded swollen hand.
“If you are going to feint, do not wait to see if it worked before continuing the assault.” He instructed as he looked at the welt that was fastly forming. I smiled. My hand hurt but not as bad as my pride.
“Sir Roland, have you heard any more rumors?” I asked not specifying what kind, he already knew.
He was one of the few people I trusted in the palace. He had warned me twice before of attempts on my life. His rumors had been what kept the possibility of a crown touching my brow real. Not that I wanted to rule at all, but I was born to this life, and so I must suffer it. I had known the answer before he spoke.
“My lady I have heard no words or whispers concerning the coronation,” he whispered. I could tell he felt terrible not knowing, even though his stature showed only strength.
“It’s ok. I am sure I am safe then. You will be at my coronation and accept my offer as a personal guard?” I asked hopefully. Again I knew his answer before he spoke and my heart was heavy.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world and My Lady as humbled as I am, I’m not guard material, but always will I be here for you.” he finished pledging his loyalty to me.
I left the training hall after several more bouts and many more bruises. Sir Roland told me of many goings on in the kingdom. I noticed the hallways seemed unusually vacant. The hair on the back of my neck was standing up, or chills rolled over my skin. Most often it was when I had caught my Uncle looking at me when he thought I was unaware. I continued but saw no one.
Back in my rooms and I undressed. Mary had a bath waiting. I slid deep into the luxuriously oiled waters and let the heat seep into me. I let my hair off the back of the tub.
“Princess, I will be outside,” Mary said setting a summoning bell on the table next to the bath. I watched her leave and smiled. There was rarely a moment I had to myself. I looked around and was satisfied I was alone.
I gently cupped my breasts, pinching slightly at my hard nipples. I tried to imagine a lover but all the men I had ever known besides the servants were my instructors and my uncle. Sometimes I used the image of soldiers and people at court to fuel my desires. The image conjured most though was that of a dark god I had seen once. I didn’t even know his name, though.
I slipped one of my hands down to the delicate curls between my legs. ‘What would it be like to have a man?’ I rubbed gently at my royal bud. What I longed for was one of the glass forged toys some of the ladies at court used, but I had to remain pure. My fingers worked faster and harder pressing firmly at the top of my slit.
As my orgasm started to crest my imagination took over and it was no longer my hand pleasuring myself but the hand of a dark stranger leaning over the tub. His face covered by a cowl that hid his attributes in shadow. My fingers, driven but the rare act of imagination, worked faster and I moaned loudly.
My orgasm washed over my setting fire to the waters I laid within. My moans turned from gently to load and echoing as I continued to rub. I no longer cared how rough I was and rubbed harder until my legs tightened around my hand of their own volition.
As I settled down, I stretched out and let the waters begin to bring me back to relaxation. I pulled the velvet cord that connected to the lever for the tub’s heat. I pulled held the rope until the water was so hot I could almost not handle the temperature. After too long I got up and almost stumbled getting out of the tub. I hadn’t realized my legs had fallen asleep in the tub. I ran the little bell and waited for Mary. She came into the room and I couldn’t help but wonder if she had heard my moans.
Mary wrapped a lush towel around me, and I sat for my hair to be brushed. I’d offer to do it myself, but that would only leave Mary feeling ousted. As quiet as she was, I had come to learn if I didn’t allow her to do her job she would punish me. Mary would put fewer pieces of wood on the fire or less oil in the bath. It was her way to show me that she was needed.
“Mary, do you have a man?” I asked.
“A man, my lady?” she asked quietly.
“Yes, Mary. Do you have a husband? A lover?” I asked again. She seemed about to answer then her jaw closed.
“I am not married my lady.” she finally spoke.
“A lover then,” I stated.
“Please do not think less of me my lady, having a man but being unwed.” she finally said. I could hear the fear in her voice. ‘What made her afraid I wondered?’ I wanted to ask, but I didn’t pry further.
“I think no less of you Mary, on the contrary, I am envious.” I stood up and thanked her for brushing my hair. Mary assisted me into an evening dress and set about taking my fighting clothes to the laundress. I decided to go to the library.
After failing to find a book that caught my interest I made my way to the gardens. In route, I passed a young man carrying bushels of brightly colored flowers. Our eyes locked for the briefest second and a small smile touched his lips. Then his eyes lowered to the palace tiles, and he moved on. I had never seen him before.
Never had I looked at a servant the way I did now. He was tall and well-muscled in a lean stalking panther kind of way. His eyes were dark seas of blue. He must do a lot of work outdoors with heavy lifting in the gardens. I made a mental note for next time I was in the baths. I turned around and watched as he walked further on, placing flowers in the vases along the corridor.
I continued my path to the gardens and lost myself for hours in the maze of scents and foliage. I sat by the pond and ran my fingers through the water. I toiled with the troubles of my life.
“I wish you were free,” I spoke to the fish who swam in circles under the water. “I feel as trapped as you do. Pointless of life. Stuck swimming in circles. Would you like to be free? Explore the rivers and oceans? Face the rigors of life and possibly death?” I talked to the fish who utterly refused to answer any of my questions. I got up from the pond and decided it was better to eat dinner in my room this evening as I was feeling melancholy about my life.
Many times, I had been lectured on how lucky I was to be born in the palace. If I had not been born a princess, I’d still have a family. I wished again, probably not for the last time that I could just run away. ‘Why not right now?’ These days Princesses were doing all kinds of crazy things.
Henry had just told me about a month prior, that a princess from one of the realms had in fact married a prince who had lost his kingdom or some such. She had broken from normalcy, or the requirements of royalty and all worked out well for her.
I continued to fantasize about a life of freedom as I walked back to my apartments. The halls seemed devoid of servants and guards. I didn’t honestly mind. I wanted to be alone, and I didn’t have uncomfortable feelings like earlier.
I entered my rooms to find the doors to the maid’s entry open. I noticed a new bouquet of tiger lilies in a vase next to the chase lounge and more flowers next to the bed. I felt as if spiders crawled across my skin. I almost froze with fright.
“Mary, did you get these from the gardener who was putting them in the corridors?” I asked aloud. I waited, but she didn’t answer. Maybe she had forgotten the door. I walked across the room to shut the door for her. As I approached a shift in the darkness caught my eye.
Sir Roland’s training came naturally, and I jumped back as a blade flipped out from the darkness. I wasn’t fast enough, and the blade caught me in the right shoulder. I fell backward as a scream echoed off the walls. Out of the darkness emerged a veiled figure in tight clothing. Only the assailant’s eyes were visible. The tightness of the clothes forming the shape of her small bosom the only clue to her gender.
“Who? Who sent you.” I whimpered at my impending death. I wasn’t scared, but the pain caused my breath to be labored. She stepped closer, my skin crawled.
“I am a friend,” she said and unveiled. I felt a moment of oddity somewhat like confusion, and then the pain fled from me, and I recognized her as one of my oldest and most dear friends. Everything was going to be ok.
“Oh, of course, you are,” I replied and sat up. I saw the dagger sticking out of me, but it meant nothing to me. “What brings you for a visit today?”
“I came here to be with you Princess,” she said and sat next to me. She pulled the dagger from my shoulder and patted me gently. I smiled at her. I stared deep into the golden pools of her eyes. Somewhere in the distance, I felt something spread across my chest, a warm kind of feeling like I was back in the bath.
“I am so sorry; what’s is your name?” I asked confused that I could have forgotten.
“Shush, Princess. Do you want to go on a journey with me?” she asked smiling. She took my hand in hers, and I felt warmth seep into me again.
“Yes,” I answered thinking it funny that it was even a question if I’d want to go with her. She was my best friend. I’d die for her.
“Excellent,” she said and leaned in towards me as if to kiss me. My lips parted to receive my first kiss ever. Our lips just brushed when she jerked her head away and fell backward.
“Princess. Princess.” someone spoke from behind me. The world had gone foggy suddenly. The pain from the dagger had returned tenfold. I looked down to see my clothes covered in blood. The gardener was standing over me looking down. He moved over to my friend. He shifted her aside, and I saw a dagger buried deep into her skull.
My stomach began to heave, and I barely managed not throwing up. The gardener wrenched the blade from her head with a sickening crack, then moved from her to me.
“Are you going to kill me next?” I asked detached. ‘If she was dead what was the point of living?’ He wiped her blood off the stowed the knife away. His hands put incredible pressure on my wound. Everything went dark.
