“‘So…how was it?’ he asked me as I returned home that Sunday afternoon,” Lana began softly. “His voice was laden with hesitancy, despite, well, everything.”
Lana was recounting to me the events of the previous weekend; still fresh and raw in her mind.
“I couldn’t answer. Instead, I slipped off my only two pieces of clothing; as was the stipulated dress code for the weekend.
“I cradled his face a moment and guided his nose in an exploratory route over my skin, knowing the scents would be the most vivid answer to his question.
“He closed his eyes as I led him on a guided tour of my body.
“I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling.
“‘How many men were there?’ he asked when he eventually stood upright again.
“I still couldn’t speak and merely held up seven fingers.
“‘And did they all fuck you?’ he wondered.
“I hesitated. But then, still unable to speak, handed him my diary.
“‘Might have known you’d keep one!’ he said, trying to laugh but I could see his apprehension.
“I understood that, though,” Lana said. “I couldn’t even go home straight away. I went to a coffee shop, then a park to write it. I had to get my head straight… or nearly straight!”
During the previous sessions, Lana had been trying to get to the bottom of a nagging feeling that had been growing since Claire, her PA in Lana’s own law firm, had joined the team some months earlier.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Lana explained. “Her work is exemplary and we all like her. It’s just… she’s almost too willing.”
“Too willing?” I wondered.
“Yes… like… subservient or something. Can’t put my finger on it.”
Lana had given me a vivid picture of herself; a strong-willed, independent woman who took no shit from anyone – particularly men. That policy pervaded all aspects of her life, including her marriage.
“They’ve ruled the roost for way too long,” she stated in her second session.
“Except at home, in your case,” I replied. She didn’t answer.
I asked her to examine her irritation at Claire, pointing out that anger is almost always a defence against something we fear.
Lana had told me that Claire had a husband, Clark, who was quite a dominant character but that she loved that about him. The first time he came to pick her up from work and Claire introduced him, Lana had bridled inwardly at what she saw as his arrogant air.
“There’s that anger again,” I noted.
“I’m not afraid of him!” she stated.
“Of what, then?” I asked, but she had no answer right then.
“Is it possible you find Clark attractive?” I asked during the following session.
“God, no!” she exclaimed. He’s everything I’ve ever stood against.”
“Is he good-looking, though?” I asked further.
“I suppose so,” she answered, somewhat reluctantly; visibly uncomfortable with the admission.
“What attracted you to Jerry,” I asked; about her husband.
“He’s very attentive,” she answered immediately. “He wants to please me. Not many men are like that.”
Without voicing it, I took ‘attentive’ to mean that plus ‘obedient’.
“Are we talking about sex or in general?” I inquired bluntly.
“Both,” Lana replied.
“And does that… does he… satisfy you?”
I watched her face portray the clearest picture yet of the inner conflict that had brought her to me.
Some months after Claire’s appointment, the team had won a major – and difficult – case against a very male-dominated rival firm.
Lana had taken the team for dinner at an upmarket Chinese restaurant but right after the meal, had said she was tired and heading home. The ladies could stay on, however, and put the drinks on her tab.
Claire had remarked how tiring it must be; always being in charge, always being in control.
That had really bugged Lana.
“I put it in my diary,” she said, wafting it beside her cheek. “It’s a bit of a joke; me putting everything in there. I take it with me everywhere.”
“Have you ever heard of Shiva and Shakti?”
“I’ve heard the words. But that’s all,” she said.
I explained at some length the concept of the two energies; how both can be found within every person but that Shiva was more prominent in males and Shakti in females.
“Shiva likes to take Shakti; to win her. And to be honest, Shakti likes to be taken and won.”
Lana snorted.
“The trouble is, though,” I continued, “There has been a huge misunderstanding about all this. Men have taken that concept and twisted it and, sadly, women have unknowingly fallen prey to that deceit.
“So… I’m just wondering if the anger meeting Clark evoked, was defending you from a fear that you actually did find his persona attractive and that that would bring your whole world view into question; including who you are, everything you stand for (and against)… In short, your sense of identity?
“Is it possible that you are afraid that men’s Shiva will rob you of your power? Some men will try that! But when Shakti chooses to surrender her power to Shiva, she remains in a position of strength.”
Lana was listening silently.
“Does Claire seem weak to you?” I asked after a pause to let that idea absorb.
“Well… no, not really. She actually seems radiantly happy.”
Another pause.
“Does Jerry seem weak to you?”
Lana stared to one side in silence.
“Does Jerry want you?” I asked.
“Of course! I told you, he’s very attentive,” she replied, but her voice weakened with every word of the sentence.
“See…” I began, “So far, you’ve only told me he wants to please you. There’s a subtle difference, though, between that and wanting you; being hungry for you, isn’t there?”
Lana paused the sessions for a few weeks, during which time, another conversation with Claire seemed to have opened wider a door which that session had opened. It was a Tuesday evening when she returned.
“Something weird happened yesterday,” she began.
“On Friday, Claire and I got into this conversation about control and so on… again!”
“This does seem to be a theme,” I noted. Lana considered that a moment before continuing that Claire had asked her when she ever ‘just surrendered’ and Lana had scoffed that she never did.
Claire’s response was simply, “I thought not,” which Lana found somewhat cheeky but let it go as that again touched something in her soul.
“Yesterday morning,” Lana continued, “I noticed a strange glow about her as she arrived for work; so much so that I commented on it and wondered what had happened over the weekend to create such an aura.
“She simply smiled even more warmly, flicked her eyebrows up and shrugged.
“‘I surrendered,’ she replied simply.
“‘Surrendered what? And to whom?’ I wanted to know.
“‘Just a few friends,’ she said, smirking. ‘It’s something we do quite regularly.’
“It was then that I realised that this was not the first time I’d noticed that weird glow about her and also became aware that I’d been burying my curiosity on the matter.”
“You’re learning!” I smiled. Lana went on.
“‘On our special weekends,’ Claire explained, ‘we invite a few select couples, and a very select couple of singles, over to our house for the weekend.
“‘There is a rule for the women. No underwear and no trousers. Only skirts. On top, they can wear something that opens easily or T-shirts that are easily removed. Or they can just go naked.’
“I had no idea how to react to that but asked what the men wore.
“‘Anything they like,’ she replied. ‘But they mostly just go naked too.’
“‘You mean, it’s a swingers weekend,’ I said.
“‘You might call it that… but it’s a bit different to what people normally think swinging is,’ she answered. ‘There are a few rules, but basically, the men have free rein, so to speak. They can take whoever they like, at any time.’
“Suddenly, I was furious! ‘You just let them do what they want to you? That’s… that’s…’
“‘I know what you’re going to say but you couldn’t be more wrong,’ Claire interrupted. ‘Anything nasty is very strictly forbidden and a million miles from what I’m describing. We simply let the men be men, that’s all. And if you want to know why, it’s because we absolutely love it,’
“A cauldron of conflicting emotions still bubbled inside me. I was outraged and horrified. My years of pushing against male dominance kicked into overdrive as I searched for the words to express my anger and yet…”
“And yet…” I pressed.
“This is… sort of embarrassing,” Lana said, a little sheepishly.
“I’m a therapist, Lana. No judgement from me, remember?”
“Right…. yes… well… ok.
“I left Claire at her desk and headed off to the Ladies to be alone with my turmoil. Locking myself in a cubicle, I leant back against the wall, my breathing laboured as I struggled with my inherent outrage which was becoming locked in battle with the undeniable feeling of being utterly turned-on.”
Lana closed her eyes, maybe to avoid eye contact with me or perhaps just to fully relive the moment. She took a deep breath and continued.
“Despite myself, my hands reached for and unfastened my suit trousers, pushed their way into my panties and in between my lips. They were bloody soaking.
“A collage of images coursed through my mind. I was watching Claire being taken from behind, on all fours, over the back of a sofa, standing and bent forwards in a shower, by one man after another. Most came inside her and she licked and sucked them clean afterwards. Some came directly in her mouth while she looked me in the eye… her lips smiling around the hard male flesh.
“Within minutes, the cubicle wall was rattling loudly as an incredible orgasm shook my body violently. It took me several minutes more to finally extract my fingers, and then yet more time passed as I slowly licked the juices off them.
“By the time I had regained my composure enough to return to work, about twenty minutes had gone by. Claire was busy typing a letter and made a point of avoiding eye contact. Her smile, though, told me she knew exactly what I’d just been doing.
“‘If you ever want to join us,’ she said calmly, without looking up, ‘You’re more than welcome.’
“‘What? Let a bunch of randy guys have control over me? You must be joking!’ I retorted, the words becoming more and more half-hearted as I tried to finish the sentence.
“‘Well,’ she said, finally looking me in the eye and smirking. ‘Something just did it for you.’
“‘What?’ I stammered.
“Claire merely closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, smiling, then returned to her typing.
“‘I just love the scent of orgasm, don’t you?’ she casually remarked.”
“Wow,” I uttered. “Quite an experience! What has it taught you,” I asked.
“Still not sure. That’s why I’m here,” Lana answered before moving onto the evening afterwards.
“We were having dinner… which Jerry had cooked,” she said, looking quizzically to one side for a second as if that meant something.
“‘What would you do if I had sex with another man?’ I asked Jerry abruptly. The question startled him.
“‘You’ve asked me that before,’ he answered.
“‘I know. And you said you would accept it. But I want to know how you’d actually feel about it,’ I said. ‘And I don’t want you to please me with your answer. I just want to know how YOU would feel. Honestly. Would it upset you? Make you jealous? Feel insecure?’
“‘I don’t know, then,’ he said humbly. ‘That’s the honest answer. I just don’t know. But… I think you know I want you to be happy.’
“I tried and failed to understand my own annoyance with him at that point. He was basically giving me permission to fuck other men!”
“Do you think you need his permission?” I asked Lana.
“Hmmm, well, actually… no. God. Am I just a bitch?”
“Is it possible he wants you to cuckold him? And do you want to do that to him?”
Again, she couldn’t answer but merely told me that Claire’s next weekend was the one after next in a voice that negated the need to ask if she was going.
The seventh session was after it. Lana asked me if I wanted to read her diary, just as Jerry had done when she had silently handed it to him on returning home.
She handed it to me, already open at the relevant page.
The Diary
Arrived at Claire’s on Friday at around 7.30 pm, feeling pretty weird, to be honest. I’ve never been out wearing just a thigh-length skirt and blouse; no bra or knickers. Had to steady my nerves a few minutes before ringing the doorbell.
Claire’s friend, Stacey, opened it, stark naked. Talk about ‘in your face’, and yet… how comfortable she seemed. Found myself wondering if she’d just been had. She oozes sex appeal.
She guided me around the house. Large lounge, ground floor bedroom, with three more upstairs. A conservatory with Jacuzzi. Men chatting with each other… eyes on me as they talked. Lusty eyes. Makes me feel… hmmm… not sure yet.
Glad to still have Stacey beside me as we entered the lounge again with two men on the sofa, watching each other getting sucked by two women on their knees in front of them. Never seen that happening in front of me before! Feels like I’ve jumped in at the deep end and not sure I can swim.
I noticed Clark, naked, standing chatting with another man. Also naked. My therapist was right, dammit. He does look good and I try to hide my attention to his cock.
Trembling inside. Hoping it doesn’t show on the outside.
Clark beckons me and says he’s glad to see me there.
His friend brazenly pulls my blouse open, making me jump. But, a deep breath… and I let him do it. That’s the ‘rule’. He scans me.
After the initial ‘shock, I had to admit It felt better than I thought it would… liking how his eyes smile appreciation.
His hands follow his eyes. I let them. Clark’s hands join in the fondling. Can’t deny this feels good.
One of the men on the sofa calls out for a beer. Clark tells me to fetch one for him… and to leave my blouse open.
It’s only when Stacey takes my hand to guide me to the kitchen that I realise I need the reassurance her hand gives me.
I’m even more grateful for that when we enter as, on the worktop, naked and with her legs draped down a strong male back, a woman wears an ecstatic look on her face as he licks her.
Stacey lightly strokes his hair and asks if she tastes good. He pauses only long enough to answer by kissing Stacey’s mouth.
“Mmmm, yes she does!” Stacey smiles at me, then explains how she loves tasting a woman on her husband’s lips.
I’m… perplexed(?) There’s not the slightest sign of jealousy in her. Is that an act or…?
“And if he saw you in her position, with another man…” I ask her.
“He has seen me. And, if I’m correctly predicting your next question, he loves it as much as I do,” she tells me.
I examine her closely and have to conclude that her ease with it is genuine.
She suggests I take the beer as she wants to stay and watch a while.
Flustered, but very turned on, I take the beer to the sofa. The man takes it and tells me to “bring those tits here too”.
A second’s inner rebellion.
“Who the fuck does he think he is!”… until I remember why I’m there, look down at the head in his lap and push them into his face and mouth.
His eventual roar of orgasm vibrated through my nipples and flesh as he erupted into the woman’s mouth. It felt amazing … but I still wasn’t sure not sure I wanted it to!
Something… visceral about it… primitive? Such things I’ve always frowned upon. And yet…
A slight sense of detachment…
Clark and his friend were watching the whole thing and smiling approval.
Feeling shaky and with a dry mouth, I returned to the kitchen to get water, having to make a conscious effort not to eye their two proud-looking members as I passed them.
Stacey was now leaning against the fridge, masturbating while her hubby had the other woman bent over the worktop; her hair and head pulled back as he pounded her.
I filled a glass and turned to watch them. She came loudly as he came vehemently inside her. Stacey’s orgasm is close behind.
Feeling a bit like a spare part in that scene, I returned to the lounge and spotted Claire. She says sorry for not greeting me earlier but was ‘entertaining’ two of Clark’s friends upstairs.
Trembling again. My imagination hurls images of what she’s just been doing into my mind. The smile it’s put on her face … bloody hell.
Despite getting increasingly wet – I was content to spend the next hour or two just serving beers and watching as men took whoever they wanted and whenever they wanted.
I search for any sign of distress amongst the women. There is none.
I think I’m realising something… I kind of sense why… but can’t explain it. Not yet anyway!
By about 10.30 pm, several mouths have been on my breasts and a few exploratory fingers have been between my legs but nothing more at that point.
“How much fucking testosterone is flying around this house?” I found myself wondering. That… hateful hormone! And yet, I can’t deny that the women all look so happy receiving it.
Claire walked over to check on me, grinning like a Cheshire cat, licking cum from her lips and scooping more of it from her pretty face with a finger.
“Wanna taste?” she laughed, offering the finger towards me.
I politely decline… and yet… actually I bloody do! Shit!
Midnight arrived and I was still pretty much the spectator. Wondered if the men sensed a reserve in me. A reticence. I suspected Claire advised them to go easy on me.
Saturday: 3.30 am
Scribbling a few thoughts while everybody’s dozing.
Stacey and Carl said I should sleep beside them.
To say she was like a sex doll would be really wrong. She actively reciprocated. From missionary, to doggy, to her riding him with her hands held behind her back, I could see the sense of power in his expression.
That power I have always despised… and yet… the incredible relish on her face every time she smiled at me while he fucked her was unmistakable and undeniable.
There was an odd sense of her own power inherent in her submission.
I masturbated increasingly furiously while watching them. Her smile turned me on as much as what was evoking it. Still couldn’t climax, though!
“Aren’t you going to fuck Lana now, Baby?” she asked as he rolled off her.
“Not yet,” he answers.
Saturday: 10.30 am
I’ve retrieved my skirt and blouse, though wondering why something feels wrong about wearing them.
I’m chewing on a croissant and watching a 69 in full swing on the sofa. She only releases him from her mouth to cry out in orgasm (I’m slightly envious)
He immediately pushes her mouth back down to catch his load as he cums seconds afterwards.
He pats her ass and rolls her off him, grabs the remote for the TV and puts a football game on.
She half stumbles into the kitchen, giggling slightly as she almost loses the cum from her mouth but manages to gulp it back in and down.
“Mmmm… beats croissants!” she finally manages to say without spilling anything. I look quizzically at her.
Clark and another man enter the kitchen. While the friend prepares their coffee, Clark steps up to me and removes my blouse. His friend looks on, smiling. I love the approval.
As if guided by some unseen force, my hands loosen my skirt and I step out of it. Carl’s member rapidly stiffens, as does his friend’s.
I suddenly realise why the clothing felt wrong.
My own sense of total availability is intoxicating.
Clark’s eyes glance downwards. I know what he wants.
I kneel and grip his hard flesh in my hand, close to my face so I can examine this ardent masculinity for a moment. Poised… ready… stiff flesh. All manner of feelings churning inside me… including… wanting it! Oh God!
I lick up and down the sides and around the head, gazing up at him, then slide my lips down his erection and get a huge rush of juices as I see the pleasure I’m giving him on his face. Why does this feel so much better than any blowjob I’ve ever given??
My hands reach around his ass and pull him in deeper… right to my throat. I savour his flesh like it’s the tastiest thing on Earth. Sucking it, kissing it, licking it… Oh my god, this is so hot!
His friend laughs and says, “Now Clark! You’re not going to keep that pretty mouth all to yourself are you?”
“Be my guest!” smiles Clark and draws my head away a little so his friend can offer his cock to my lips.
For… I don’t know… ten minutes, maybe, I had two cocks in my hands and served them.
Served? Served?? I served a man??? Two men, even? I have to stare at my own words on the page to make sure they’re in my own handwriting.
Suddenly, Clark’s friend gasped that he was ready.
Clark tells him to go for it and I close my eyes to relish the incredible feel of my mouth, chin and breasts becoming awash with their essence.
OMG, that felt so fucking good. I’m right on the verge of cumming with them. And yet… STILL it eludes me!
I go to wipe up their deposits but Clark says to leave it on display. “And leave the blouse where it is too,” he insists.
I had no intention of putting it back on.
I went to the bathroom, needing to pee. Stared at myself in the mirror, face and chest covered in cum.
Had to admit… I liked what I saw. I served them… Yes… served them. I stared at my reflection and started fingering myself.
A few minutes later, the door opened. Forgot to lock it!
A man walks in and I say I’ll leave him in private but he says, ”No no. Stay right there,” smiling at my face in the mirror.
I watched him pee, then washed himself. Hands on the top, still facing the mirror. He commented on the state of my face, standing right behind me.
I asked, with a certain smile, if he liked my face covered in cum like that… wondering if that was really me speaking!
He answered by hoisting up my skirt then sliding the length of his now fully erect cock along my pussy lips. I let out a long gasp as he moved back and forth to get my juice all over him.
I remember what Claire assured me. I can just stop, get dressed and leave any time I want. But it’s not what I want.
I want to indulge my new-found thrill at feeling so available. My curiosity is simmering and bubbling inside me.
I want to know what this man is about to do to me.
His feet kick mine a little wider apart and, without saying a word, he drives his hardness so forcefully into me that I feel his balls slap my clitoris.
He grabs my hair and pulls back, making sure we are in eye contact in the mirror. His eyes look fierce as he pounds my pussy for about five minutes. I feel utterly taken… I never thought I could enjoy that feeling so fucking much… But I still can’t cum!
He can though. I feel him start to pulse and his cream gush into me.
“Good girl,” he says, withdraws slowly, then leaves.
2.30 pm: People have just been generally milling and chatting for a while.
I was alone in the Jacuzzi, trying to examine my feelings, despite being admonished by Claire for overthinking. Bless her. I’m wondering what Jerry would make of the fact that some guy… whose name I don’t know… has just had me and emptied his load inside me!
More than that, what would Jerry make of the fact that it turned me on so bloody much?
A man wandered through, seemed to weigh me up for a second, stripped and entered the water.
He’s in very good shape. Something stirs within me. Suddenly, all that thinking disappears.
“Lana, right?” he checks.
“That’s right,” I smile back.
“I’m Hal,” he tells me. There’s an air of confidence about him that, I realise, I would normally just find arrogant and cocky. It’s suddenly appealing.
“Why don’t you bring those amazing breasts over here a moment, Lana?” he says.
Déja vu! Only this time my inner rebel stays quiet.
“You like going straight to the point, don’t you?” I chuckled as I got near him.
He wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me to him and lifting me slightly.
“Well, what can I say?” he laughs gently. “You’re gorgeous, smoking hot… and I want you!”
I grab his cock under the water and begin stroking, purring and I whisper in his ear, “How many pussies has had this since yesterday?”
I really cannot believe I’m talking like this!!
“Three,” he tells me. “Does that worry you?”
“Not if you make sure mine is the next one, no!” I say with a broad smile across my face and thrusting my tits into his.
Moments later, he’s sucking hard on them while I ride his cock under the water.
He cums hard inside me. But despite my open and shameless flirting to get him ready for me… and me for him, my own release still stubbornly remains under the surface and my frustration is growing.
I emerged slowly to find a lounge full of sex. Orgasms seemed to be flying around the room… all except mine. Why won’t it let go?
A lull followed as spent members were licked and fingered clean by females.
I’m beginning to understand, at some level or other, why their subservience seems to make them smile so broadly; why, or how, their submission is actually filling them with power rather than losing it.
(That sounds weird. Maybe something to examine in the next session!)
A while of general mingling, then Stacey spotted me on my own and approached, smiling, looking at my still cum-coated face.
“Looks like you’re getting into it!” she says. I don’t know how to answer for a moment then say, “I got fucked really hard in the bathroom and then just now in the Jacuzzi.”
“Mmmm… Good for you,” she says happily. “Did you cum good?”
I can’t yet explain why I didn’t… haven’t yet.
Carl joined us and Stacey lets him know what I’ve been doing.
“Maybe she needs cleaning out, Stacey.”
The sofa is free and she leads me there, sits me down and kneels in front of me… Carl looking on.
Now I do hesitate! This is a direction I was not expecting.
How instinctive she is. Reading my face, my eyes, my body, she traces almost imperceptible pressure with her hands and fingertips for less than a minute before looking up at Carl and suggests I might feel more comfortable in a bedroom.
The three of us go upstairs to the room we slept in. The door stays open but, she was right. It does feel a safer place in which to explore this new experience. She approaches me gently, slowly, smiling. I have a sudden deeper appreciation of how pretty she is.
Gentle kisses across my skin. I close my eyes, immersing into the sensations and marvelling at how her soft, feminine lips feel as she tenderly kisses my hands and arms, moving slowly up to my shoulders and neck. Periodic checks on my face let her know it’s ok to go further and she reaches my neck.
I moan softly as she goes on, then surprises me by kissing me fully on the lift. Gingerly at first, then a testing probe with her tongue against my mine.
I respond, actively kissing her back and she moans with me. God! I never knew I would enjoy this!
My breathing gets deeper as she leaves my mouth and licks her way down to my nipples to find them erect and fizzing.
She teases them, smiling, and moves south to my tummy… and further. Willingly, my legs open to receive her mouth on my pussy and I gasp loudly as her tongue pushes between my folds and begins to clean the cum that Hal so copiously emptied into me.
But still no orgasm.
I eventually open my eyes to find the bed… myself… surrounded by five naked erections being stroked.
Their look says everything and I peel Stacey away slide off the bed and get to my knees. The men close in… I look up at them… and start to feast.
Slowly at first. Gently. But my hunger grows and soon I’m going around the circle. Hands grip my head and maul my tits as I suck harder and harder on them.
Then one pulls me to my feet and lifts me off the floor. My legs around his waist. His cock at my entrance… and then inside. So deep inside!
I cry out as he fucks me mercilessly for about two minutes and then, without letting me touch the floor, lifts me off his member and passes me to the next waiting cock.
I cling to their necks as they take their turn all the way down the line until I reach the fifth one.
“Oh my fucking God!” I yell as they impale me on him.
The hardest cock I have ever known drives into me like a piston. His hands hold my ass to keep me there. My arms go weak and I start to fall backwards, caught by the other men who support me such that I can truly just… receive!
His iron rod gives me the fuck of my life by a long way and I feel my strange reticence melting into the bodies around me.
Finally… at last… as he starts to unload inside me, my orgasm arrives… like a tsunami. Twenty-some hours of pent-up energy floods my whole being as I allow myself to collapse into the power around me and holding me.
Even after filling me, his incredible cock stays put, allowing me to ride the waves as they run up and down my body and mind for several minutes.
10.30 pm. I thought the intensity of that massive orgasm would signal the end of the evening for me. But no.
The briefest come-down. Then more hunger.
“Who wants me next?” I hear my own, disembodied voice asking.
Never before have I felt such overwhelming abandon.
Sunday 8.30 am
I’m the only one awake… a few scribbles in my diary. But I’ll expand later at home… Shit… if I can even go there!
I’ve decided to leave early. Waiting for Claire to wake up so I can thank her.
My colossal orgasm was like a dam-burst. I lost count of how many times I came for the rest of the evening and night.
Definitely a weekend of firsts! First time having one, then two, then three men enter me at the same time.
Never knew I would like that. Love it even…
To be sandwiched between all that maleness… their raw desire… their wanting… their energy
I let them do whatever they wanted with me. And fucking hell, it was good.
Now in the cool of morning, I search my mind; looking for, well, anything. Guilt? Shame? Maybe…? But not because of this weekend. No. More just… an awkward realisation.
I love Jerry. I still love him. But… Now I know why I chose him.
And I’m not sure I’m very proud of that.
I waited for Claire to wake up so I could thank her for… everything… and now, here I am in this cafe, still wearing only two pieces of clothing and still with the scents all over me.
A man is watching me from another table. What does he know… or think he knows?
****************************
“That’s got you hard, hasn’t it?” Lana said, grinning as I closed her tome.
“Well… ok, yes!” I admitted.
“Mmmm…” she murmured. “I have a video too, if you wanna see it.”
“A video of…?”
“Me with three guys all taking me at once,” she said, smiling wistfully.
“I’m still your therapist,” I reminded her.
“Yes, you are,” she said, slapping her own wrist. “It’s quite a scene, though.”
“I’m more curious about something else, though,” I said, regaining my composure and deliberately ignoring her feigned disappointment. “What is it you’re not very proud of?”
“In a nutshell,” she sighed, “I chose an obedient puppy.”
“I see.”
“But!” she exclaimed, raising a finger. “This whole thing might have helped him too… helped us.”
“How so?” I wondered.
“When I got home and gave Jerry the diary, I really didn’t know what to expect. Well, actually, not quite true. I kind of assumed that he might be hurt, but that he would find a way to accept it,” she said.
“You didn’t expect him to react angrily? Storm out? Even talk about leaving you?”
“Actually… no,” she mused. “Hmmm… No…
“He just let me be, most of the day. I was still processing everything and stayed quiet. He was watching me closely but, selfishly, I wasn’t watching him.
“When he went out to the supermarket, I lay naked on the couch and masturbated while I watched the video.
“It was evening before I decided to take a bath and wash all that sex off me. I masturbated again whilst doing so though. Jerry came in halfway through and… just watched me until I’d cum. Then just went back downstairs again.
“It was only when we went to bed later that we started to speak properly. I was on my back; Jerry on his side and just staring at me up and down.
“‘What’s on your mind?’ I asked him. He told me that he couldn’t stop this train of images running through his mind. They were scary and yet… he couldn’t say.
“I picked up my phone and asked what if he saw the reality? He said he didn’t know if he should and we left it at that.
“I was aching for him to tell me what he felt about it. But he couldn’t… not then anyway. The whole thing felt kinda surreal.
“I fell asleep. But then, about three hours later, the sounds of my own orgasmic moaning woke me up. Jerry was sitting up, still in bed, watching the video. I didn’t know what the hell to do, to be honest. I sat up too, facing him and wiped tears from his cheek.
“At that point, I started to feel pretty awful. But then, I noticed a certain bulge in the duvet, peeled it back and saw that he was rigidly hard. I glanced at his face and instinct sort of took over. I bent down to suck him while the video continued but… somehow, that didn’t feel quite right.
“I laid back down and opened my legs, pulling him towards me and hissed, ‘C’mon and fuck me.’
I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he entered me… saying words of encouragement but I could tell something was still wrong.
“I reached between our bodies and fingered my clitoris till I came and told him how amazing that was but… I think he knew that wasn’t true and he eventually pulled out without cumming.
“The next day, I took a day off, as did Jerry. Finally we started talking properly. It was a far better conversation than we’ve ever had together. I couldn’t believe it.
“He said he knew he couldn’t fuck me like the guys in the video. ‘But if that’s what you need,’ he said, ‘then… ok.’
“‘But you can!’ I half-shouted.
“He went silent at that so, I started talking about that Shiva and Shakti stuff.
“‘I’ve been in control my whole life!” I reminded him. ‘Including with you. And it’s taken all this with Claire and her weekends to make me understand something.
“‘So now, I want you to fuck me like those guys did. Take control. Take command. Show me you want me. Claim me!’
“That didn’t sit well with him. He said, and I believe him, that he just wasn’t raised that way. His Mum is pretty bossy. I’ve always liked her because of it! But…”
Lana paused to take a hefty gulp of water. I just waited.
“But… that whole talk made me decide to try something. I’d already become aware… somewhere… that at some point down the line, I would probably leave him but that it would happen without me even knowing why I was unsatisfied! Now… it’s different.
“I told Jerry that I was inviting Claire and Clark over for dinner on Friday evening. To be fair, I did tip them off to what I had in mind. But it had to feel spontaneous to Jerry.
“They arrived. Jerry had never met them but I watched how he looked at Claire and suspected he liked how she looked.
“Everything was nice and friendly over dinner then we settled into chatting amicably about this and that until we managed to steer the conversation round to their weekends. Jerry started looking a bit uncomfortable but a couple of discreet glances between me, Clark and Claire signalled to carry on.
“Still a little unsure of boundaries, Jerry asked if Claire minded him asking a personal question.
“‘Of course, Honey!’ she beamed. ‘Anything you like.’
“‘How does it really feel for you? On these weekends, I mean.’
“‘Honestly? I find it… liberating… and so fulfilling!’
“‘Hmmm… pondered Jerry.
“‘And, by the way, it’s amazing fun!’ Claire continued. ‘But just saying that would’ve made it sound shallow. It’s really not.’
“‘Is that how it felt for you?’ Jerry asked me.
“‘I found it… enlightening,’ I told him. ‘I wasn’t sure how I’d feel, or even if I would stay there. But as soon as Clark opened my blouse…’
“I stopped a moment in case that was too much.
“‘Back in a moment,’ chirped Claire. ‘Just nipping to the bathroom.’
“‘I wonder,’ Clark suddenly said. ‘How do you think I felt, opening your wife’s blouse like that?’
Jerry wasn’t sure, despite what seemed like an earnest attempt at trying. Claire returned.
“‘Do you find Claire attractive?’ Clark asked bluntly. I wasn’t sure if putting him on the spot like this would work well, but…
“‘She’s very pretty, of course,’ Jerry replied politely.
“‘How many times have you looked a woman and wondered what she looks like under her clothes?’ Clark asked further.
“‘Well… I suppose we all do that,’ said Jerry.
“‘Indeed!’ agreed Clark heartily. “‘And yet, we have reached a point in human history where admitting that leaves us open to all sorts of condemnation.’
“‘I suppose it has, yes,’ Jerry concurred, thoughtfully.
“‘Be honest,’ urged Clark, ‘Have you spent at least part of this evening undressing Claire in your mind?’
“Jerry shot me a look of slight panic.
“‘Well… have you?’ I asked.
“‘It’s all fine, Jerry,’ Clark assured him. ‘I did, with Lana, as soon as I laid eyes on her first time.’
“Jerry looked at Claire to see her reaction and found her smiling benevolently at her man. Clark cocked his head towards Jerry.
Claire stood and moved to stand right beside Jerry.
“‘Do you want to see me naked?’ she asked with soft directness.
“Jerry was suddenly frozen. He checked Clark’s face and mine and found only expectant smiles. A little gingerly, he reached for Claire’s top, who obediently raised her arms and let him peel it off her. Her pretty breasts bobbled slightly in front of him.
“‘You like what you see?’ Clark asked.
“‘Yes,’ Clark said simply. Claire shone a smile at him.
“‘There’s more,’ Clark said.
“Hesitantly, Jerry took hold of the zipper on her skirt then looked at us again. Our smiles hadn’t changed and he pulled to a point where her skirt started to drop to the floor.
“Jerry gazed up at her face, trying to fathom the obvious signs of pleasure on her face.
“‘You can do anything you want to me, Jerry’ she breathed.
“Jerry let out a huge sigh and simply buried his face in her breasts. She held his head tenderly and tried to move his mouth to her nipples. ‘Follow your feelings, Jerry’ she told him.
“I watched on in awe and understood even more deeply what the weekend had taught me.
“Claire’s complete submission gave licence to his Shiva energy to break from its confines and express itself. It sounds like a paradox, but now I understand that by giving him that power, it’s a sign of her power, if that makes sense!”
“It makes perfect sense,” I assured her. “Shakti loves Shiva’s power. It’s a point that got lost in modern society with all its mixed messages.”
“Yes, I realise that now,” she agreed ponderously before snapping herself back to the story.
“A moment later, he was sucking and licking her nipples and making her moan and squirm.
“‘Your turn, Lana,’ Clark said when Jerry paused after a few minutes. ‘How about you show Jerry how you sucked me in the kitchen?’
“We all moved to the lounge. Claire and Jerry sat on the sofa.
“Seconds later, I was naked and on my knees, Clark standing.
“‘See how hard she makes him, Jerry?’ Claire said softly to him. ‘Isn’t it magnificent?’ Jerry couldn’t speak. Claire held onto him gently. He seemed to be on the verge of weeping.
“At one point, Clark ordered me to kneel on the coffee table, facing Jerry.
“Claire began pulling down Jerry’s trousers as Clark drove his cock into me from behind and started fucking me slowly but hard, making me cry out in sheer bliss.
“Claire freed Jerry from his trousers and underwear and gripped his erection. In the brief moments I opened my eyes, I saw him harder than I’d ever seen him. I still wasn’t sure if this would work but… Clark was fucking me so good I couldn’t have stopped him.
“‘Oh wow, Jerry. Your cock is like steel. Are you enjoying watching my husband take your wife?’
“I managed to take a longer look at his face and began seeing a transformation. From blank consternation, something else was emerging. His eyes began to glow and his jaw stiffened as much as his cock until, suddenly, he shoved Claire aside, got up and strode over to us. He was staring hard at Clark as he walked past my face.
“‘Reclaim her Jerry!’ urged Claire from the sofa.
Suddenly, I felt Clark slide quickly out as Jerry grabbed his hair, yanked him off me then threw him onto the sofa. He turned to look at me to see the biggest smile on my face.
“I spun around and onto my back, opening my legs to expose my freshly fucked pussy for him.
“‘Yes, Darling! Reclaim me!’ I gasped and with that, much to the delight of Clark and Claire, he rammed his erection into me harder than he had ever done and fucked the living daylights out of me.
“Without the usual need for rubbing my clitoris, I came loudly three times. After the last one, he pulled out and exploded all over my tits, then got me to stand and paraded me in front of our ardently masturbating guests while he held my hands together behind me. He looked so utterly proud.”
“Wow!” I breathed, struggling with my own erection. “And, so you say, that helped? You were taking quite a risk.”
“I know. But I had come to realise that if something didn’t change, our marriage wouldn’t last.”
“And so, how is Jerry?”
“Like a new man. After Claire and Clark left, we slowly settled and he did say he felt a bit embarrassed. But I assured him that it was the biggest turn-on and biggest orgasms he had ever given me. Also, that it was the first time I’d ever actually felt him truly want me. I mean… that he just wanted me, not to please me. Just his own desire for me.
“I think he understands it although it’s still a bit new for him but, oh my god, the sex all this week since that night!”
“So, have you given up trying to be in control? That would feel very strange,” I asked.
“Oh no. Not at all. I just realise now that I can have both.”
“So… power and command professionally and surrendering in your private life?” I asked.
“Well, yes, although there can be some overlap.”
“Overlap?”
“Yes. The Monday morning after that Friday night, I got to work. Claire was already there and looking very pleased with herself and asked what jobs I wanted her to do first that morning.
“‘Well,’ I said, ‘Start by locking that door, would you?’ She wore the naughtiest grin as she did so then I told her to get on her knees under the desk. I pushed my chair back a little to give her the space and looked down at her.
“‘Jerry has got right into his new role,’ I explained, opening my legs and removing my knickers. ‘And this morning he claimed my pussy in the kitchen before we left.
“‘So…’ I said, placing one hand on her head and guiding her in, ‘You have some cleaning to do please!’”
