Inner War

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Author’s Note: I originally wrote this in High School last year for an ex-girlfriend.  But I read it yesterday and it’s truth just screamed at me, so I thought I’d post it.

Inner War

 

I think I’m a little confused

About what I feel about you

Somehow maybe you’re ready to be redeemed.

But then you were not what you seem.

 

Should I still be angry

For all the pain and anxiety?

Should I be happy

Because you “came clean”?

Should I be happy

For your apology?

 

Why can I not figure this out?

It’s killing me, my heart is filled with doubt!

Can I trust you?

Are you willing to tell me the truth?

Or will you again betray?

Damn it, when will these questions go away?

 

But what if I am led astray?

What will I do?  Will that debt be repaid?

I’m sick of these games

Of me reassigning the blame

Maybe thinking it’s my fault too

For not knowing sooner about you.

 

No!  My love is free!

You’re the one who chose to hurt me.

One more time and I will not bend.

And our friendship comes to it’s end.

Published 16 years ago

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