I left every door open and still nothing,
I’m such a bloody fool,
To think he might, but no.
I will remove myself from more harm,
Cover my feelings and hide,
It is the way to be safe, I’ve learned,
No more, ever, ever, ever, never ever.
Thought I was safe in my secret world,
But it crept up on me somehow,
Didn’t even notice til it was too late,
And now it is way past that.
I take rejection well,
My face doesn’t even show,
The hurt that aches inside,
Fuck this, and that little tear wells up.
Drops onto my cheek and rolls away,
Fuck, followed by another,
Why is it that the tips of my fingers hurt?
Actual pain, why does that happen?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Could never be good enough,
Better to be no-one’s choice than second choice,
And then he just left.
Maybe by not putting myself out there,
I’m cutting myself off,
But I wanted someone to want me,
Not me to hunger after them.
Ah well what will be, will always be,
My place to be amongst the un-loved,
The un-desired, the lost,
I’ll live to fight another day.
The battle I have with myself continues,
To trust or not to trust,
I choose not, cos I can’t take the pain now,
And my optimistic heart drowns once again.
Un-requited love is a fucker beyond belief,
It snares you in its trap and holds you there,
Then spits you out all cut and bruised,
Without a word of warning.
Meanwhile I’ll tell the world to fuck itself,
And hide away once more,
Not good at this love game,
I shouldn’t be allowed to play.
