Have some mercy on a guy.
I mean, it’s bad enough you have those big tits, but where did you find that t-shirt, in the box with your old junior high stuff? Half your tits are popping out of the scoop neck, I can see your big dark areola and stiff nipples through the thin, faded yellow fabric, and it barely comes down to your belly button. That is not what you wear when you work out – you wear your sports bra. You need to wear your sports bra.
It’s because it hurts me more than it does you, isn’t it? Have some mercy on a guy!
And those yoga shorts! I’ve seen them before; you wear them all the time. You claim you can somehow run faster and jump higher with your ass cheeks exposed like that. I’ve never before and never will argue the wisdom in that, but holy shit I’d have noticed that camel toe before. Whatever you usually wear underneath is sure as hell missing today.
I know why you’re doing this. I know why you’re making me watch your workout on the wrong side of the picture window. I couldn’t help myself. Oh, really? You’re done on the treadmill and you’re jumping rope now? Have some mercy on a guy!
Thank you for letting me come back inside. Do you realize people walking down the sidewalk could have seen you? Yes, we have a good sex life. I’ll say it’s a great one. Adventurous? ‘Adventurous’ is an understatement. Yes, I know what the one rule is. I don’t need to say it out loud, you know that I know what it is.
Fine. The one rule is, ‘Don’t cum on your face.’ Look, look, it’s not entirely my fault. When you aren’t wearing makeup, you look so innocent or, I don’t know, receptive? When you’re made up for work, you look so authoritative. When we go out, you look so sophisticated. And, oh gawd, when we go dancing and you add the glitter and everything, you’re really sexy and, you know, a little slutty. Anyway, I don’t know why, but I really, really need to claim that beautiful face of yours! You can’t blame me; you have to have some mercy on a guy!
I have accidents, you know? You give the absolute best blow jobs. No, no I don’t have a lot of experience, I can’t even remember any girls who may or may not have blown me before we met. Honest, life before you is all a blur. Will you let me finish? I have accidents and I try to get it all in your mouth but I have bad aim when you get me all worked up like that.
Sure. Last night wasn’t quite like that. I do remember, you were on your back with those 1970s-porn-star kind of tits pointing up at me and I was giving you a good, hard pounding and, what? Yes, I meant we were passionately making love, real hard, like I was saying, you were moaning and your arms were thrashing and sometimes your knees were up and sometimes down, and I loved it when you were holding your toes. See? I know what you like!
Anyway, I got to thinking it had been a while since I came on your tits. That’s not the rule, you said you like it when I do that. Right? Okay. So, I’m about ready so I pull out – no, sorry, I honestly thought you already came – and I aimed for your tits and I missed. That’s all.
Um, no, your tits aren’t small, and, right, they’re actually quite large. I…I…I… wait! I don’t know how I missed, I just did! What? Now what? What else? I pulled out like my dick was on fire, kneeled on your shoulders with all my weight and jerked myself, shouting, ‘Close your eyes bitch, Daddy’s in your face?’ Really?
Have some mercy on a guy, I don’t remember it that way at all.
What? You forgive me? Take my pants off? Have mercy! Yes, I’ll have a seat. Oh, using the jump rope to tie my hands behind the chair, huh? Adventurous! A second rope for my legs? Were you planning on forgiving me all along? Baby, you’re the best. Oh. Where did you get the third rope? Heh-heh, that’s not needed, I’m not going anywhere.
What do you mean, ‘That’s right?’ What the fuck, zip ties? Yes, apparently my cock doesn’t care, but the rest of me is starting to get a little worried.
Oh. Oh yeah. Nothing to worry about here. Shit, baby, the way you work that tongue. Damn, I love it when you make those slurping noises. I see what you’re doing. No chances of any accidents now, are there? Teaching me a lesson, are you? You can punish me like this any time you want.
Wait. Why did you stop? Sweat pants? A hoodie? Oh, I see, this really is a punishment. Ha. Ha. Joke’s on me, I’ve learned my lesson. Have some mercy on a guy and untie me.
The doorbell? Were we expecting company? Dammit, don’t answer it! My pants are still down and I can’t get out of the chair! What? Sit still or I’ll never see those tits again? Well, shit.
Who’s at the door? Send them away, oh, hi Darius. Yeah, kind of embarrassed here. New hair cut? A ‘fade and wave?’ It suits you. I’ll grab us a couple of beers as soon as the little woman cuts me loose. Why are you unbuckling your belt?
Well, I never expected to ever see your cock, Darius, much less so close to my face. Hey, you know what’s funny here? There’s some kind of optical illusion going on because, honey, your hand looks really small right now. Baby, you really shouldn’t move your hand so fast, because, you know…what? Close my eyes? Daddy’s what?
Have some mercy on a guy!
