As I walked into The Coffee Drop, the morning sky was stretching its limbs of light, casting an eerie glow on the streets of north Dublin City. It was a chilly April morning and I was wearing just a suit jacket with a light shirt and tie underneath. There were two customers waiting for their morning caffeine fix and I joined them at the register, where Tina was busily attending to them.
“There you are, Dreamboat,” she said, with a smile that was almost sincere.
“Good morning, gorgeous. You look like you slept well last night. Were you up to something that you shouldn’t have been again?” I said, checking out the pastry case for something to eat.
She made a face at me and stuck her tongue out.
“I love your tongue, Tina, although it does look very tired this morning.”
“Don’t have me come around to you, Tony Harris, you cheeky pup.”
“You love me, really, Tina. Don’t be playing hard to get.”
“I know, but you love me more, Tony, don’t you?” she said, looking over her shoulder at Sandra behind the coffee machine.
I reached over and took her hand, brought it to my lips and kissed it.
“Of course I do, but let’s keep that between us, don’t tell your husband.”
“Ooh, romance in the morning. Where would you get it?”
“He loves me too, Tina,” Sandra shouted from behind the machine, “don’t you, Tony love?”
“How can I not, Sandra?” I said, trying to keep the peace.
“What’s this I hear about you giving out free kisses all over town?”
Tina’s ears picked up.
“Nobody will pay for them, Sandra,” I said.
“Did you kiss the staff over in the new branch in Priorswood yet?”
“I tried, but Jimmy, the Barista, wouldn’t have it.”
“I heard that Jenny did.”
“Aah, the fragrant Jenny,” I said in a pathetic voice.
“She’s spoken for, Tony. So’s Tina,” Sandra said.
“I know, Sandra, but we still have each other.”
“Am I the only one though, Tony?”
“You’re the only one at this precise moment in time, Sandra.”
“I’ll take that,” she said with a wink, as the door opened behind me and two ladies walked in. “I don’t mind when there’s three of us, Tony, but last time there was five. I felt sorry for you.”
“Someday we will be two, Sandra.” I took her hand and kissed it too.
“I won’t wash this hand today now,” she said with a girlish squeal.
“Do you think you could force it to make a flat white?”
“How flat would you like it, pet?”
“How flat can you get it, darling?”
“Darling? You do love me,” she said, fluttering her eyelids, “you’ll never leave us for Priorswood.”
“I wouldn’t bet on it, they make breakfast over there and coffee with cream.”
“Cream?”
I knew, immediately, that I had fucked up. I waited for the deluge to occur; it didn’t take long.
“Hey, Tina, Tony wants cream in his coffee,” Sandra said.
“What kind of cream?”
“There’s only one kind of cream that I want from Tony, Tina,” Sandra said with a grin.
“I wonder what that tastes like,” Tina said.
“Oh I’d imagine it’d be lovely, wouldn’t it, Tony?”
“I’ve never had a complaint.”
“Dirty bastard,” Tina said.
“You’re not a swallower, Tina,” Sandra said, laughing.
“I’d swallow Tony’s.”
“Ladies, we are in mixed company, please,” I said.
“They’re all women, Tony, it’s not mixed.”
“Yes it is, two brunettes, one blonde and a dazzling red haired vision.”
Sandra handed me my coffee. “If you want cream you’ll have to supply it yourself, love,” she said.
“Thanks, Sandra.” I went to take it from her hand but she pulled it back with a grin.
“Kiss first.”
I leaned over the counter and kissed her tenderly.
“Mmm, dreamy,” she said. “Tina, kiss time.”
Tina came running over, laughing as she did so. I kissed her the same way.
“Don’t tell your husband.”
“He’s going to want to know why I’m so randy tonight, Tony.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I said.
“Girls,” she said to the four ladies in the queue, “Tony’s distributing free kisses today. Who wants one?”
“Are you my pimp, Tina?”
The red-haired girl stepped up. “I’m a vision am I?”
“A dazzling vision,” I whispered.
She offered her lips to me.
“What’s your name? I’m Tony.”
“I know who you are. I’m Aoife.”
I kissed her quickly.
“I want the same one you gave to Tina and Sandra.”
“That’s usually a second-date kiss, Aoife.”
She smiled.
“What about a third date?”
“A medical would be required beforehand.”
“I’ll see you in here tomorrow morning at the same time.”
“I look forward to it.”
I kissed them all and left for work.
