them for the very first time,
absorbing the pulse and the contained heat that makes me.
You would find yourself there,
see that you’re somewhere within every reflection
of me that others will see,
that you hide in my eyes whether they’re blinking or
watching you in the memory of the first time we met.
When you had no name to paint along my heart yet,
no short and sweet notes or kisses to give as I’m still
sleeping and you have to go.
There is no place in me that is unaware of you.
Sometimes I don’t want want to be reminded of undone threads,
of hands feeling the night’s chilled air when letting go
Or of the aches that flood me before our reunion.
Those tangible reminders, so tiny and crushing,
tell me that inside us all is the same fragile still center
vulnerable to all that love helplessly forges,
the place where time’s rippling fabrics fleeing
can make your heart thunder against mine.
A brave talisman or an unstoppable virus.
I want the way your eyes softly glisten to hold me in place,
I want you to wrap around me like I’m inside of you
for the very first time,
learning the surrounding heat and life that makes you.
I would find you beyond those delicate borders,
see that I hide behind your eyes whether they’re sleeping
or enfolded in the memory of the last time we touched.
When you knocked on my window in the middle of the night,
I could see your breath exhaling against the frosted glass,
you came in and I held your shivering frame after
you slid under the covers because you said I was the
one place that you knew you could go to no matter what.
To remember a familiar warmth before
the phone rings and you have to go.
There is no place in me that could ever be unaware of you.
Sometimes I don’t want to be reminded of the threads
that so quickly pull with your exit,
of the phone’s glow lighting your face beneath these blankets,
or the unspoken longing your stare sends the moment before you drive away.
Those moments, so tiny and crushing,
tell me what it meant every time I was lost
in the feel of your heart thundering against mine,
makes the fragile still center where I can keep us safe.
