My best friend is wanted
at the end of a rope for murder.
I got the poster that says so right here.
Gonna hang at high noon in a few minutes,
if I don’t do something about it.
However, I got another best friend;
at one minute to twelve
she comes out of the hotel naked.
Everybody watches her big tits swing in the wind
and her fat, bearded belly, roll.
Everybody thinking,
I’d like a piece of that pie.
Meanwhile, at the top of the wooden staircase
in the middle of the street,
a noose blew in that wind.
Surreptitiously, I cut the rope that bound my friend’s hands.
We jumped to the saddles below.
Landed somewhat painfully,
ready to go.
The third horse was for Miss Lily.
I watched her wet her saddle
for the next fifty miles or so.
I saw her eyes fill with ecstasy,
as we rode to the next town.
And continued so, when she felt the reward money.
We split it three ways.
We made a new plan to get more.
We shared a celebratory drink,
and then, quite lavishly, each other.
