I’m just an average guy, a 36-year-old working in marketing for a large software company. And I’m as straight as the railway tracks that run behind my office. Oh yeah, I’m divorced, but that’s no shocker these days. My wife and I split after nine years of semi-bliss. We just drifted apart, started to want different things. Kids for one; she yes, me no. The silences became the longest conversations we had. But sex was never our problem. We were always pretty good at that. Oh, there were times I wish she’d been more assertive, but I didn’t complain. Once she got warmed up she was pretty randy. She even surprised me a few times with a kinky move or two; dancing finger, she called it. Yeah, the sex was good, until it petered out.
One day she came home from work and told me she’d taken a job back east. It was painless and friendly after that. She moved out; I kept the apartment. Divorce papers ultimately came in the mail, and I signed them and sent them back. I’ve dated a bunch of women since then. But none of them have commandeered my heart, so to speak, and the sex has been limp, as if the people fucking were simply following the steps in a time-honored formula that put a premium on speed and efficiency.
And that brings me to Mona, and to last night. Last night. My god, last night.
I was at a house-warming party at my friend Phil’s apartment. Phil was new to the job and had been assigned to my project team. I didn’t know him very well and I didn’t know anyone at the party. I was wandering around nursing a beer, had a few aborted conversations with some guys who wanted to talk about the stock market and some girls who, apparently, didn’t want to talk at all – at least not to me.
I had just popped the top on a new one when I saw Mona across the room. She struck me at first because she was clearly older than most of the people there, probably a good 10 to 15 years older than me as it turned out. She was a friend of Phil’s older sister and the only person he knew when he first came to town. She wasn’t beautiful but she was decidedly striking; hell, she was hot. She just looked like someone who knew what she was doing. She had a short almost sculpted haircut with sharp edges that drew your gaze right down the line to her eyes. Her features were a little sharp but they went well together and added up to something special. She was tough and sexy. I’ve always had a thing for older women. Well, a fantasy anyway.
I stared at her longer than I realized, not even really aware I was doing it. I continued to walk around the room but didn’t try to talk to anybody, and nobody tried to talk to me. I was wondering if I was invisible. It pissed me off a little, but I didn’t know how to interject myself into this world of strangers: pompous men and superior women.
I’d had enough and had gotten my coat from the bedroom and was heading for the door when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw Mona up close, looking right at me. Invading personal space wasn’t an issue for her, I guess.
“Don’t leave,“ she said. “It’s early, and you shouldn’t give up so easily. Come talk to me. I saw you staring at me with that hang-dog look and I want to see if I can make you feel better.“ She put a finger under my chin and lifted my head up. “Come now,“ she said.
She took my hand and led me to a love seat in the corner of the living room where we could have a little privacy.
“What’s your name?“ she asked.
“Call me Ishmael,“ I said, trying to be clever.
“Cute.” she said. “I’m Mona. I think I’ll call you Ishy.“
She fired off a bunch of questions and pretty soon had a capsule biography of my whole life, from only child to middling underachiever in high school to divorced marketing specialist for a business-intelligence software product that was going nowhere.
It didn’t feel like an inquisition at the time; in fact, I was happy to keep answering. Facts are easy when you don’t really know what to say. And she never took her eyes off me the whole time. Mine kept darting around the room, from people I could care less about to the soft, creamy pearls on her necklace.
After 30 minutes or so I said, “Look, this has been nice but I’ve got go. It’s getting late and I have work tomorrow.“
“Not yet,“ she said. “Let’s get out of here. Come to my place for a drink. I only live a few blocks away.“ Without waiting for me to answer she stood up and said, “I’m going to get my coat, meet me at the elevator.“
We walked briskly to her building, not talking at all. About halfway there she put her arm around my shoulder and kept it there all the way home, as if guiding a wayward child through the dark forest at night.
She lived in an old three-story brownstone from the 40s, a beautiful old building that looked painstakingly restored. She unlocked the door and I followed her into the living room. The furnishings were tastefully simple and unostentatious. The only thing that really caught my eye was a large, old easy chair with thick pillows and overstuffed arms. Most of the furniture looked comfortably used, but the chair appeared to have been recently reupholstered. It stuck out a little bit. No big deal.
She took my coat and hung it on a rack along with hers. “Have a seat on the couch,“ she said. “Would you like a drink? White wine okay?“ And she was off without waiting for an answer.
I sat on the couch and wondered if I was going to get lucky tonight. Mona was certainly attractive and she was obviously a woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. And now she apparently wanted me. Better to let her make the first move, I thought.
She came back and sat down next to me, holding a single glass of wine.
“None for me?“ I asked.
“Oh, I thought you said you didn’t want any. I’m sorry.“ But she made no move to get up and get me a glass. She just started asking questions again. How many women had I gone out with since my divorce? Was there anyone serious? Was I unhappy? Lonely?
I answered her questions. I figured she was heading somewhere, and I’d just wait and see where. We’d already done all the polite conversation. She sat back and crossed her legs.
“Stand up, she said.“ What? That seemed a little odd. Maybe it’s her special seduction ritual. I’ll play along. I stood up.
“Go over to that chair across the room,“ she said. “Get completely undressed, fold your clothes neatly, and put them on the chair.“
“What the fuck,“ I said. “Are you nuts? You expect me to strip just because you tell me to?“
“Yes,“ she said, matter-of-factly and paused for a few seconds. “Why wouldn’t you? Look, there’s the door. If you don’t want to be here all you have to do is walk over there, grab your coat and leave. We never have to see each other again.“
I was dumbfounded. This classy lady I’d met only two hours ago had brought me to her home, sat there sipping a glass of wine, and told me to strip naked. “It’s a simple choice, what’ll it be? Leave or do what I tell you.“
I walked across the room unbuttoning my shirt. And I didn’t know why I was doing it. I’m not sure I wanted to know. Even now I’m still not sure I want to know.
So there I was standing buck naked in Mona’s living room, covering my cock and balls with my hands in a conventionally silly attempt at modesty.
“Come over here and stand in front of me,“ she said, “and stop covering up for heaven’s sake, you look ridiculous.“
I walked back over to her, letting my arms fall to my sides.
“Turn around slowly so I can look at you. Cute ass,“ she said. “I like that.“
When I was facing her again she sat there for a few moments sipping her wine and looking at me, her eyes moving ever so slightly up and down in appraisal. I was looking at the floor, trying to figure out what was going on and what the hell I was doing.
“Not the most impressive cock I’ve ever seen,“ she said. “But I don’t care. You are good looking enough and you obviously take care of your body. But you don’t have an erection. Why not? Poor guy, are you nervous? No need to be. Play with yourself and get it hard for me.“
You have got to be fucking kidding me, I thought to myself. But without thinking I began to stroke my cock slowly up and down.
“Look at me while you’re playing with yourself,“ she said. “I want you looking at me.“
And I raised my head and looked right at her while masturbating, and in a minute or two I had a good hard-on.
“Easy,“ she said. “Slow down. I don’t want you to come.“
I slowed down, barely moving my hand but not stopping completely.
“Very good,“ she said. “When was the last time you had an erection that hard?“
And I realized she was right. My erection was so hard it almost hurt. I couldn’t remember the last time I had one like that. One more touch and my cock would explode.
Mona looked at me and smiled. “Tell me how you feel this very second. How does it feel to be standing naked and masturbating before a strange, fully clothed woman? And think before you answer.“
“I . . . I’m not sure,“ I said. “Exposed,“ maybe. I realized I was close to tears. “I don’t know how I feel.“
“Yes you do. It might be confusing, but you do know. Oh, I’m sure you’re embarrassed. And maybe you even feel a little degraded in some self-dramatizing way. That’s only natural and it will pass. But if you brush all that superficial stuff aside and look deeper, here’s what I think you’ll find. You feel found out. Discovered. And a little relieved, as if a weight has been taken away.“
I started to protest, to tell her she was a lunatic, but she held up her hand. “No, don’t say anything.“
And then the front door opened. A beautiful woman with long dark hair walked in. Without breaking a stride she took off her coat, threw it on the floor and plopped down on the couch next to Mona.
“What the fuck,“ I shouted, and covered my cock and balls with both hands.
“Don’t cover yourself,“ Mona snapped. “I didn’t tell you to stop. Keep playing with yourself.“
Amazingly, I did what she said.
“This is Carole, my lover. I called her right before we left the party and told her to come over. I knew she’d want to meet you.
“Hello, Carole.“
Carole smiled. She seemed to be about my age and she was a looker. She’s certainly the type of girl I’d look at twice if I passed her on the street. And here I was, masturbating in front of her. What the hell was going on?
”He is cute,” Carole said. ”I’m going to get a glass of wine,” she said as she got up and headed for the kitchen.
Mona looked at me. ”You’re doing very well,” she said. ”This is good for you, you know.”
Carole came back with her glass and took her place on the couch, curling her legs up beneath her. ”What’s next?” she asked Mona; she certainly wasn’t asking me.
”Okay,” Mona said to me. ”You can stop now; you’re nice and hard.”
And she was right, I was. I let go of my cock and stood there, hands hanging at my sides and my erection pointing straight up to the ceiling like a novice reaching for heaven. I should have been trembling or seething, running for my clothes and getting the hell out of there. But I wasn’t.
”Turn around,” Mona told me, ”with your back to us.”
I did.
She said, ”Kneel down.”
I did.
”Bend over and put your forehead on the floor.”
I did.
”Now reach back and spread your ass cheeks apart.”
Jesus Christ, I thought. But I didn’t hesitate for a second; I did what I was told.
I closed my eyes and tried to picture what I looked like. I was kneeling naked with my head on the floor and spreading my ass for two women I didn’t know. How in God’s name did they make me do this?
”How do you feel right this second?” Mona asked.
Oh, shit. How do I feel? How do I fucking feel? ”I’ve never been more mortified in my life. I don’t believe I’m doing this.”
”Yet you are,” she said. ”You’re kneeling there. Nobody is forcing you. You could get up and get as far away from here as you want. But you’re staying put. Why do you suppose that is? Most people would feel degraded. Do you feel degraded?”
Yes, I thought to myself, how else could I feel. I simply nodded. But I was surprisingly calm in some weird way. Why isn’t there a fusillade of rockets colliding in my brain, bouncing off the gray matter like sparks from metal on metal. But there wasn’t.
”Have you ever been fucked in the ass?” It was Carole who asked this.
I shook my head, no.
”Not even with a dildo?” she asked.
Again, I shook my head. No.
”Ever had anything up there?” she asked.
”Uh… I, uh… a finger maybe, a few times, a long time ago.”
”And did you like it?” Mona asked. ”No need to answer,” she said. ”Of course you did.”
What was happening to me? Why was I letting them do this? Why was I doing it?
From the corner of my eye I could see Carole get up and come closer to get a better look. At what? At my ass? God knows I was holding it open enough for her.
”He’ll need to be stretched,” she said.
”That’s easy enough,” Mona replied simply.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, or didn’t want to believe. Were they actually talking about me? It was crazy. But what did I do in that moment? Protest? Run? No. I tried to picture the blank expressions on their faces, as if they were discussing a minor problem in a business meeting.
”You can stand up now,” Mona said.
”Oh, too bad,” Carole said. ”I like seeing him like that, holding his tushy open. He’s so adorable.”
”Well I’m sure there will be other opportunities,” Mona said. ”And I’m sure you’d like that, too,” she said to me. I wasn’t sure if she expected an answer.
I got up and rubbed my knees. I was actually glad there’d been an area rug to kneel on. Oh fuck, how can I be thinking of something like that? Have they hypnotized me, put me in a trance?
I stood there looking down at my feet. Mona leaned in towards Carole and they whispered back and forth for a minute or two, comparing notes. I made no attempt to cover myself. I was still incredibly embarrassed and felt spent, as if my legs wouldn’t be able to hold me up much longer and I’d melt in a puddle on the floor. Like that witch; what was that from?
Mona turned to me. ”As you might have guessed by now,” she said, ”this has been an audition of sorts. And you’ve done very well.”
Carole jumped in, ”We like boys like you.”
Boys like me, what the hell did that mean?
”Go easy on him, Carole,” Mona said. She looked at me. ”You might find this hard to believe right now, but we’re just trying to help you. All Carole means is that we like to take a boy like you and show him who he really is so he can discover his true place in the world. I know you’re confused right now, not quite sure what’s happening. But part of you knows it’s the right thing. Look at you, your emotions may be raging but you’re still hard as a rock.”
She was right. My cock was standing straight up. I couldn’t believe it.
Mona readjusted herself on the couch, sitting up and smoothing out her skirt. ”We’d like you to spend time with us. It’s pretty simple really. You come over a few nights a week and on the weekends and we keep exploring like this. It’s who you are, you know. You should be starting to understand that by now. The feelings were always there but you didn’t understand them; there was simply a constant undercurrent of discontent. Being with us will be good for you.”
Carole finished her wine and put the glass down on the floor. She looked at me with a broad smile. ”You want this,” she said. ”Your body is saying so. You’re so hard you’re ready to burst and nobody has touched you. All you have to do is trust us and put yourself in our hands. Tell us you want to be here with us.”
Was I supposed to say something? Was I supposed to agree to this? I had no idea what to say but almost against my will I started to answer.
“Wait,” Mona said. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Before you answer, let me tell you how it will work. What we’ve done so far has been simple and straightforward, but the situation is a bit more complicated. You have to give us everything you have and break down all the walls. So listen carefully because we want you to understand.
“To start,” Mona said, “whenever you are in this house you’ll be naked, just like you’ve been since you got here tonight. It was easy, wasn’t it? You wanted to be. It doesn’t matter if it’s just you and me here or if Carole is here, too, or even if there are other people here. You’ll always be naked.”
Other people, I thought, what the fuck! You want other people to see me like this? I shouted, but no sound came out. I stood there.
Mona continued, speaking in a slow unemotional tone. “Your mouth and ass will always be available. Mostly to us, of course, but we do have guests and they’ll want to play too. You know what that means, of course, no need to spell it out. You’ll like that, won’t you? I know you will. I can tell by the way you so easily spread your ass for us.”
Carole immediately interjected. “There will be times when you need to take care of a real cock as well. I’m sure you’ve never done that before, but you will have to suck cock and then bend over for it.”
“Easy,” Mona said, putting a hand on Carole’s knee to quiet her. “We don’t want to scare him.” She looked at me and said, “It’s not as outrageous as it sounds. But it is important that you understand what’s required.” Mona’s eyes looked deep into mine. “And you can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about this stuff. I knew it as soon as we met tonight. So now you just have to tell me that you’ll do it when we tell you to. You will, won’t you? Won’t you, Ishy?
It’s like she was staring right into me, into a place that I tried so hard to stay away from. I couldn’t take her gaze so I lowered my eyes. I simply nodded in assent. “Don’t nod,” she said. “I want to hear you say it. Say it now. Look at me and say it.”
I lifted my head and turned my eyes up to hers.
“I will,“ I said. “I will.“ I fucking said I will.
“And one last thing,“ Mona said. “One of the most important, really, and one that might be the hardest for you, but it is the key to the whole puzzle. Pay attention. You can only come when we give you permission to, and then only by masturbating. And there must always be someone watching.“
I was stunned. Would the humiliation never end? I should have screamed out loud, but instead I only sighed.
And then it was quiet. Carole brushed the hair off her forehead, and Mona just sat back on the sofa and looked at me. As the silence settled in I lifted my head and looked at Mona, then over to Carole, and then back at Mona.
Mona finally said, “You understand everything now, yes?“
Yes, I nodded.
“So I’ll ask you again. Do you want to come back and spend time here? We’re having some friends over Friday night. Will you come?“
“Yes.“
“Good.“
“Now,“ Mona said, “let’s seal the deal. That erection of yours looks painful. If anything it’s gotten harder and is turning colors. I’ll bet you’d like to come, wouldn’t you?“
I nodded.
“Excellent,“ Mona said. “So come for us now. Go ahead, we want to see you masturbate. I know you’re very excited but please take your time and go slowly. We want to enjoy this.“
I held my cock in my left hand and slowly began to move it up and down. After a few seconds I stopped, lifted my hand to my mouth and spit into it to get some lubrication, just like I did when I was by myself. And then I started up again.
“Wow,“ Carole said. “Look at him get himself wet. He’s really into it.“
And that moment was the peak of my humiliation. I broke. But I didn’t stop, I couldn’t. I kept moving my hand up and down my cock; then I started going over the top with a light swirling motion, being certain to touch what I knew was the most sensitive part of the cap with the pad of my thumb.
“Look at me,“ Mona said. “Keep looking at me while you masturbate. I don’t want your eyes leaving mine.“
I was moving my hand faster and faster; my knees were getting wobbly but I kept going and I kept staring at Mona. I saw her smile and mouth the word, “Good.“
And I exploded like I never have before. The cum shot straight up and landed on my face and chest. I dropped my cock and fell to my knees.
Mona got up and came over to me. She put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Have you ever come like that in your whole life? Have you ever had an orgasm that powerful?“
I just shook my head, no.
Mona moved away from me. “It will take some time for you to fully understand what happened here tonight,“ she said. “You may not believe that you did what you did. You may feel incredibly degraded. But if you are truthful with yourself you will admit that you feel freer than you have in a long time, maybe ever. You’re discovering who you are.“
Carole got up and took their wine glasses into the kitchen. Mona started to follow her but then turned back to me. “You’ll find a bathroom down the hall where you can clean up. And then get dressed and let yourself out.“
“We will see you Friday, Ishy.“
“Yes,“ I said.
