Even when you ache for peace
Nothing is static or still
Tightening your grip is frivolous
Time does not stop passing
So curled under the covers
She finds her own calm
And she breathes
Needing just a moment to exhale
To let go of all the pretenses
A moment to just be free
But the brain can’t cease to think
Nor can the heart cease to feel
So head on her pillow
The tears fall silently
And she breathes
Life is a gift she tells herself
As outside raindrops fall silently
It seems the world feels her struggle
As if it was crying with her or for her
Hugging her pillow like a life raft
to stop her from drowning
The tears now freely fall
And she breathes
She tries to stop the flood of emotion
Desperate to cease the internal debate
To quench her need for answers
There is no dam that could succeed
Her defenses have been breached
No going back without knowing
So she sits in the darkness
And she breathes
Is it possible she isn’t alone
Does everyone struggle internally
The profound idea that one person
can be made whole by loving another
Was it simply a mythical romanticized idea
A grown-up fairytale to make us believe
Or in reality will the traits you keep hidden
Always ache with profound emptiness
Tonight the ache echoes inside her
And she breathes
Mind spinning she wonders
Which is the greater, need or want
An ancient battle rages in her
two women trapped in one body
Strong willed, independent, stubborn and wanting
Yet obedient, pliable, submissive and needing
She seeks the place she belongs
The one meant to quiet her ache
As her mind begs for answers
She hugs herself tightly
while the tears spill freely
And she breathes
Can both exist or are we destined to choose
If you find yourself here, just breathe.
