My biological mother had me when she was fifteen years old. Her parents were strict and couldn’t bear the “embarrassment” of their daughter being an unwed mother. They forced her to give me up. I was dropped off at a Catholic church for the nuns to deal with me. I was ten days old. I never knew my birth mother and have no idea what her name is. All I have is a birth certificate from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts that lists my mother as “Jane Doe” and the father as “Unknown.”
I was raised by Catholic nuns in a convent. I came to them without a name, so they named me after a priest’s mother. My childhood was one of seclusion, tranquility, and spiritual enlightenment. By the time I hit puberty, it was expected that I would dedicate my life to the church. When other girls my age were developing, both emotionally and physically, I was cloistered with very little outside influence. It wasn’t a terrible life; it was all I knew.
On my seventeenth birthday, I formally entered the community as a postulant, beginning the first step toward a life devoted to faith and service as a nun. The next step came nine months later, becoming a canonical novitiate, also known as a novice. This is when I spent a year dedicated to prayer, exploring the meaning of the vows, and delving more deeply into religious life. I chose the name Sister Patricia Nora. It was a year that, instead of discovering my adoration for a spiritual life, I started to resent everything about religion and question my life.
Until then, the only interaction I had with men was with the priests who said mass every morning and on Sunday. My final decision came out of an act of defiance. It was a hot summer day, and the convent was receiving some much-needed renovations. Several construction workers were outside, some working in the heat without shirts on. I was staring at them and had a reaction that I had never felt before. It was warmth between my legs, pure excitement. The Reverend Mother caught me watching them one afternoon. She knew what was happening and told me that the impure thoughts I was having would land me in hell for eternity. That was the moment I knew I needed to change my life.
I was two months from professing my first vows when I walked out of the convent, never to return.
In the first days of my freedom, I realized how ill-prepared I was for the real world. I was well educated but knew nothing. I could quote chapter and verse from the Bible, but I had no skills to be able to support myself. I was homeless and living on the streets. One thing the sisters taught me was how to ask for donations, so I started to beg for money and was fairly successful. Some people were generous; most were not. I had offers of money for sex on several occasions. Sex was another area that I had very little knowledge about. All I knew was that the act of sex between a man and a woman was primarily for procreation. I didn’t understand that it was a form of pleasure.
It was September, and I was roaming Central Florida with no particular place in mind. I found an advertisement for a place called Paradise Lakes. They had a special admission for single women on the first weekend of the month. I could enjoy all the amenities of the club in a clothing-optional environment all day and night for 15 dollars. I had no idea what was meant by ‘clothing optional.’ I took that to mean they had no dress code. After wandering for two weeks and living in shelters, I was ready for some enjoyment.
When I entered the resort, being a first-time guest, they offered a tour of the grounds. I accepted with pleasure. My tour guide was a middle-aged woman named Helen. She handed me a map of the property and started to tell me about the events that were planned for the day. We walked out of the office, and the first thing I saw was two men completely naked. I had never seen a penis before. My reaction must have been priceless because Helen was laughing hysterically at me. She asked me what I expected to see at a nudist resort. I felt like a fool and told her I had no idea that is what “clothing optional” meant. Her laughter was contagious. I started to laugh with her.
By the time the tour was over, I had seen a hundred naked people. Helen informed me of the few rules that Paradise Lakes had and left me in an area near the main pool to enjoy myself. I was fully clothed. I was intrigued by an older woman. She was standing, applying suntan lotion. The way she was rubbing the ointment into her body was mesmerizing. I could tell she was enjoying showing off her body, and she seemed so fearless and self-confident. She caught me staring at her and started to walk toward me. I wanted to turn and run.
We were just a few feet apart, a beautiful older nude woman standing before me. She introduced herself as Darlene. The way I was watching her, she thought maybe we knew one another. I apologized and explained that I’d never been to a place like this, and I wasn’t sure if I should be there. The smile on her face was comforting. She made me feel welcome and invited me to sit with her. She reminded me that one of the rules was that no one could wear clothing while at the pool. She took me by the hand to her lounge chair and helped me out of the dress I was wearing. When the material fell away from my body, it felt like everyone was staring at me. I was so nervous that I thought I would pass out.
I stood naked without moving for what seemed like an eternity. Before we sat, Darlene pulled out her bottle of sun lotion and insisted that I use it. My skin is light, and she said the Florida sun will cook me. Rather than allow me to apply a protective coating, she started to massage the cream into my skin. I never had anyone touch my body before. The feeling was magical. The way she kneaded my skin was causing me to shudder. As she began to touch my breasts, that similar surge of warmth coursed through my entire body. She circled my nipples with a single finger, and the excitement caused them to harden. Everyone around me became a blur. When she finished, she laid out a towel on a lounge chair and invited me to sit. She asked my name. I hesitated, almost calling myself Sister Patricia Nora. I told her Patty.
Any apprehension I had vanished. Darlene made me feel like I belonged there. She was in the lounge chair to my left. The seat to my right was empty, but the one next to that had an older gentleman sitting there. Of course he was naked; after all, it’s the rule while at the pool. His skin had a bronze hue, and it was obvious to me that he spent much of his time in the sun. He had no tan lines. He also shaved his entire body. I had never seen a naked man before that day, but I have to say, the sight was very appealing to me. I whispered to Darlene, asking if all men were like that. She smiled and told me no, he was on the large side of the scale.
The sun beating down on my body was glorious. It was so warm with just a slight breeze. There were people in the pool. Some were gathering at one end to play volleyball. In just the short time I was there, I fell in love with this place. Out of the blue, the gentleman sitting to my right leaned toward me and introduced himself. His name was Victor. He extended his hand and asked for my name. When I told him, I also added that it was my first time there. He was very friendly and welcomed me to the community. He moved to the lounge chair next to me and started to chat.
I had never been so close to a naked man before. I was fascinated by his physique and stared at his penis. It was big and smooth with a tiny patch of hair above it. Darlene leaned over to me and whispered that it wasn’t polite to stare. She broke my daze. The thoughts going through my head were salacious. I wanted to reach out and touch him. I started to get the same feeling as when I saw the construction workers and the convent. The natural reaction was trickling from between my legs. I wanted to satisfy the urge but knew I couldn’t.
My arousal started to become noticeable. Victor looked at me, and he knew I was having a natural reaction. He tried to put my mind at ease by telling me I was a beautiful woman and that he thought my red hair was magnificent. This didn’t help. I felt like a fountain gushing. His smile was gorgeous. He was old enough to be my father, and I thought that this was the man I wanted to take my virginity.
Darlene sat back and watched the events unfold. She hardly knew me and had no idea what my background was. She’s a pretty sharp woman and very kind. She said she rented a place for the month, and if I wanted to take him to her room, the three of us could go have some fun. It was a split-second decision; I said yes.
I asked Victor if he was interested in taking a walk to Darlene’s place. Without hesitation, he agreed. The three of us stood and trekked across the pool deck to the small condo Darlene was renting. When the door opened, the blast of cold air caused my nipples to turn into diamonds. I was jittery. This was uncharted territory for me. When Victor turned to me and held out his hand, I confessed that I was a virgin. It was as if time stopped. Both Darlene and Victor looked at me with disbelief. The silence was deafening.
Victor took a step back and was immersed in thought at my admission. After what seemed like endless quiet, Darlene knew she had to do something. This wasn’t the time, place, or man to take my innocence. She and Victor had a history. When it came to sex, Darlene said he could be very aggressive, almost primal. She left it up to me, though. I felt I was ready. It just seemed right. It was private, I was naked, he was handsome, and I had a reaction to him like never before. I knew I wanted him to be my first.
Darlene shrugged and said it was my decision, then reached out for my hand and took me to her bed. We lay down together, and she asked if she could watch. That surprised me. When I considered her offer, if he was as much of an animal as described, it was best to keep her close by. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Darlene could tell I was anxious, and she wanted to calm me down. She leaned into me and kissed my neck, and whispered that I would do fine. Then Victor approached.
He was standing over me, fondling his dick. I watched it stand up without help. Seeing an erection for the first time was captivating. I knew that soon, he would be inside me. Darlene was not kidding when she told me he was aggressive in bed. It wasn’t how I thought it would be.
His hands grabbed my knees and pushed my legs apart as wide as they would go. He knelt in front of me, and he lifted my legs, bringing them up to my chest. I could feel him starting to thrust himself into me. It felt like something gave way inside me. The warmth that I was feeling turned to a burn. I thought something was wrong. Victor sank deeper into my body. His motion was even, thrusting in and then pulling out. The burn I experienced at first started to turn to a pleasant warmth.
My mind started to wander, then blur. I had a feeling I’d never had before. I became more slick as Victor dominated me. Then it happened. I started to quake and become unhinged. It was heaven. Then Victor’s rhythm started to slow. On the last thrust, I could feel him fill me with his semen. He was pulsating inside me. Then it was over. He pulled out of me, stood up, and left the room.
Darlene was still next to me in bed. She was watching as if it were a show for her pleasure. She massaged herself while enjoying the performance. She told me I looked beautiful as I came. She also said that Victor loved it. That shocked me. The way he got up and left, I thought it wasn’t good for him, and I told her that. She laughed and told me that I fucked him like a whore. He said he wanted more and that he would be back tomorrow.
I digested her words, guessing I would be staying for a while. I rolled over and basked in the sensation of my first time. My eyes grew heavy, and Darlene held me until I fell sound asleep.
