The Wham Bam Theory

"Two university professors discover a whole new field of study - each other!"

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Andrew sat in the university cafeteria eating his lunch alone. He always took his lunch at the same time and at the same table. He always had the same lunch too – a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (light on the jelly) with the crusts cut off, a small glass of milk, and four Oreo Doublestuff cookies. Andrew liked things to stay the same… he hated change and anything that was new or different just ruined his day.

Andrew worked at the university in the science department as an astrophysicist. His current work was in trying to determine the properties of dark matter. Andrew was a genius – his IQ score was tested at 172, so he was very intelligent and book smart. Unfortunately, his intelligence did not spill over into the social skills. His exceptional brilliance made him quite arrogant and he felt superior to everyone around him. He didn’t really mind, as he found most people wearisome and tedious. He didn’t have a lot of use for people or their insipid problems. He had bigger, more important things to concern himself with!

Elizabeth also worked at the same university, but in the biology department. While she did not have the same “genius” IQ level as Andrew, she was still very bright and had a PhD in her field of study – genetics research. Elizabeth too, suffered from a lack of social skills – try as she might, she just simply didn’t fit in with the other girls, and the boys didn’t even see her. So she was a social outcast like Andrew, destined to live alone with no friends and no one to share her life with.

But unlike Andrew, who would be perfectly content to spend the rest of his life with the only person he felt he could feel comfortable with – himself – Elizabeth very much wanted to find someone she could call her own. She wanted the whole “small house with a white picket fence, a husband and three kids” kind of life. She wanted the companionship and the intimacy of a relationship with a boy. Truth be told, Elizabeth was a closet nymphomaniac – except that she had no one she could exercise her sexual impulses with.

On this early spring day as Andrew ate his lunch, Elizabeth came in for her lunch break as well. Finding all the tables full, she wandered around with her tray for awhile looking for someplace to sit down. The only available table was the one Andrew was sitting at, so she walked up to him to ask if she could sit there.

“Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” she asked.

“No,” Andrew said, not even looking up. So Elizabeth sat down at the table.

“Now hold on! What are you doing?” he asked, rather shocked at her impetuousness.

“You said no one was sitting here,” she said.

“Yes, but you didn’t ask if you could. You just assumed. Perhaps I was waiting for someone!” he said.

“I’m sorry. May I sit here?” she asked.

“I don’t see why not. No one else is,” he said, going back to his lunch.

Elizabeth began eating and found the cafeteria food sadly lacking in taste. “Please pass the salt,” she asked Andrew who had it closer to himself. Absentmindedly, he slid the salt shaker across the table and as Elizabeth reached for it, their hands touched.

Now normally, Andrew detested the human touch, – being something of a germophobe, he figured that someday someone will sneeze and he will catch a fatal disease. But this was totally different. He didn’t pull his hand away like he usually would, slathering it afterwards with hand sanitizer. Instead he kept it there, almost holding hands with her save for the salt shaker in her hand.

Andrew looked at the girl across the table. She was fairly plain looking, with straight blonde hair that was parted in the center and hung limp and lifeless down her back. She wore no makeup at all and her features were quite ordinary. Elizabeth looked back at the taller Andrew and his somewhat rounded face with a turned up nose and thick, black framed glasses. His dark brown hair was cut in a short boys cut and his clothes were terribly outdated.

They sat there holding hands and looking at each other for several awkward moments before they both pulled back shy and retreating. They finished eating their meals and as Andrew got up to head back to his lab, he paused for a moment to look at the girl who had been sitting at his table.

The next day Andrew was again at his table eating. Elizabeth showed up again, and this time she came over to his table even though there were other places available.

“May I sit here?” she asked him this time.

Andrew looked up and seeing Elizabeth, he almost smiled. “Yes,” he said and Elizabeth sat down. They ate lunch that day together, occasionally looking up at the other and when their eyes met, shyly looking back at their food.

And so it went for the next few weeks. Each day they would meet for lunch and slowly – agonizingly slowly – they became more and more comfortable with each other. Andrew got to the point where he actually held conversation with Elizabeth and she began looking forward to lunch with what she considered her beau.

One day as they were sitting there eating, one of the university office assistants came into the lunchroom and put up a notice on the cafeteria bulletin board. Curious as to the goings on and the crowd that had gathered around the bulletin board, Andrew and Elizabeth went over to check it out.

The notice was announcing the university football team’s homecoming game and after-party. It was going to be held one month from that day and it was always a great game and a great party.

“Oh I would love to go to that party!” Elizabeth said, dreamily.

“Elizabeth please! It’s just a bunch of hooligan’s making a spectacle of themselves over a simple game. And that game is nothing more than a testosterone-fueled excuse to flaunt their machismo and show off the fact that they have muscles rather than brains between their ears!” he said.

“Yes, but the social implications are fascinating don’t you think? I’d like to go just to observe how the two sexes intermingle – strictly on a scientific basis of course!” Elizabeth said.

“I still say it is a sad excuse to get inebriated and act like a bunch of immature primates! Imagine the multitude of diseases and lord knows what that will be in that mob of hot sweaty bodies rubbing all over each other in their attempt to do what can only be classified as a mating ceremony! Pishh!” he said, derisively.

Elizabeth remained quiet knowing she couldn’t argue with him. She looked down dejectedly at the floor. Andrew noted her sudden quietness.

“Okay, I will make a deal with you. If I haven’t got anything more important to do the night of the party, I will take you – strictly for observational purposes,” he said, “I won’t go to the game… I simply have no desire whatsoever to see grown men running headlong into each other. But I will take you to the party afterwards, if you insist on watching the rutting rituals of these barbarians!”

With the agreement reached, they waited until the night before the big game. That night Elizabeth called Andrew up.

“Hello?” Andrew said, when his cellphone began ringing the theme to Star Trek.

“Hello Andrew, this is Elizabeth. In accordance with our previously agreed upon arbitration, tomorrow night is the university’s homecoming game and subsequent after-party. It was agreed that if you didn’t have anything more important to do, that you would accompany me to the party. Now do you or do you not have anything more pressing to do?”

“Sadly, no. I shall abide by the terms of our agreement. What time is the party and when should I come by for you?” he said, sounding slightly moody.

“The party is supposed to start at 8:00 p.m. so to be socially accurate, we should probably arrive between 8:00 and 8:20. We don’t want to seem too eager nor do we wish to offend our host,” Elizabeth said.

“Agreed. Very well I shall be at your home at 8:00 tomorrow night then, to give you ample time for your preparations.”

“Thank you for the consideration. I will see you then.” and Elizabeth hung up the phone.

The night of the party, Andrew arrived promptly at the agreed upon time. Knocking three times as he always did (Andrew suffered from OCD and this was one of his repetitive habits), Elizabeth answered the door.

“Hello Andrew, please come in,” she said. “I just have to get my jacket.” Elizabeth got her jacket and being raised in the South, Andrew minded his manners and helped her with her jacket.

“You will have to drive Elizabeth, I don’t drive,” Andrew informed her as he put her jacket over her shoulders so as not to mess up her dress.

“But how did you get here then?” she asked.

“I took the bus to the bus stop on 5th and Elm Street and then walked the remaining three blocks,” he said.

“Very well, we can take my car,” she said.

So Elizabeth drove them to the party. As they drove, Elizabeth said, “I hope I look okay – my sister helped me get ready. She helped pick out this dress and did my hair and makeup. She knows a lot more about that sort of thing than I do.”

“You look suitable for the circumstances,” he said. Which for Andrew was a compliment. He was not given to displays of emotion. The fact was, that he found human emotions quite perplexing and did not fully grasp their usage or meaning.

Elizabeth actually looked quite beautiful. Her sister had picked out a very pretty and sexy little blue tank style dress made from stretchy nylon so it fit her like a second skin. It was short, hemmed to just below her ass cheeks, and it had a deep V neckline in front, and behind it was open down to the small of her back. Contrary her normal work look, Elizabeth actually had a very nice figure with curves in all the right places. And her sister had done an amazing job with her hair and makeup. Her normally flat blonde hair was styled in a loose wavy style and her makeup was perfection. One would never recognize her as the same dull, boring lab worker that she portrayed at work.

They arrived at the party, and as he walked her into the house that the party was in, all the other guys began whispering to each other.

“Isn’t that Andrew Hopkins? Who is that with him?” one person said.

“I didn’t know Hopkins even knew what a woman looked like!” another said.

“Who is the honey he is with, and where did he find her?” still another said.

Elizabeth heard the whispers and she beamed inside. She was being talked about, and this time it was in a good way! She was stunning and people were impressed! Andrew also heard the whispers and something new and strange was happening to him. He found himself oddly wanting to show off this girl with him and he felt… pride! He was actually proud of Elizabeth and proud that she was with him! This was totally new and he was having some trouble trying to reconcile it logically. He was the genius – she should be proud to be with him. But instead he was feeling exactly the opposite and it was simply not logical.

The two of them made their way through the gawking crowd to an empty table. Somone came over and asked them what they would like to drink. Andrew, unfamiliar with anything stronger than pink lemonade, decided on a glass of punch. Punch sounded harmless enough to him. Elizabeth also ordered a glass of punch and so moments later two glasses of red punch were sitting in front of them.

“This is very good punch,” Andrew said, taking a long draw on the straw.

Elizabeth was about to tell him that the punch he was drinking was alcoholic, then she stopped herself. Andrew needed to loosen up, and she wanted to see what he was like when he wasn’t so uptight and analytical.

Andrew finished his punch in just a few seconds and quickly ordered another. “This is very good punch!” he repeated. As Elizabeth watched him work on downing his second glass, the alcohol kicked in and he did indeed become looser and more outgoing.

“Come with me,” he said. Standing up on wobbly legs, he managed to compose himself enough to stand on his own. He grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and began walking through the crowd, taking her swiftly with him. Making his way across the crowded room and upstairs, he looked through a couple rooms until he found an empty bedroom.

“Come inside,” he said, pulling her into the room and shutting the door. Elizabeth’s heart was racing – this was the moment she had always dreamed of! Andrew took her over to the bed and sat down on the edge, pulling her to him so she stood between his knees.

“I heard those guys downstairs whispering when we came in tonight,” he began, “At first I couldn’t understand what they were talking about. But then… then I understood. Something very strange is going on, and I don’t know what it is, Elizabeth. I feel funny – not funny as in ha-ha, but funny as in different. You are very beautiful and I find myself… curiously attracted to you.”

“I am attracted to you as well, Andrew – I have been since we first met. I have enjoyed our lunches together and getting to know you,” Elizabeth said, looking down at him as he looked up at her.

“Elizabeth, would you mind… I mean, is it okay if… Gosh darn it, I want to kiss you!” Andrew said, standing up. He took Elizabeth in his arms, and she looked up into his eyes. This was it – their first kiss!

Up to now, the only kisses that Andrew had ever gotten were the ones his mother had given him on his cheek. And Elizabeth wasn’t much better – her kisses had been forehead kisses from her father. Elizabeth had “practiced” kissing herself on the arm, trying to learn how to do those movie-type kisses. But this time it was for real and with a real boy, not her imagination!

Andrew leaned down and as his lips got closer to her, he tilted his head to the left. Inexperienced, she tilted her head the same way. The pair of young lovers tilted their heads from side to side, trying to decide who was going to lean which way until they figured it out. Then their lips touched and she melted into him. They kissed tentatively at first, not quite sure what to do. I mean it’s not like they had instruction manuals for this sort of thing!

But as they continued, the kiss got deeper and more passionate. Elizabeth moaned into his mouth and pressed herself closer to him. Andrew too, was responding to the moment – only in a different manner! As Elizabeth pressed herself to him, she noticed a bulge growing where she had never seen a bulge before! She moaned again as she realized that Andrew was getting more than a little aroused at this unexpected intimacy. She took the initiative and reached down to grab hold of Andrew’s straining cock through his trousers. He groaned involuntarily, and his hand took charge, moving up her side to cover her breast.

Elizabeth broke the kiss, panting quietly. “Oh Andrew…” she moaned softly in his ear. That was all he needed to hear. Andrew took a small step backwards and as their eyes locked onto one another, he began slowly, cautiously, to slip the straps of her dress off her shoulders one at a time. Seeing no objection from her, he eased the dress down her trembling body. It slipped over her full hips and dropped suddenly to the floor, bringing a gasp from Elizabeth as she suddenly felt the cool air on her skin.

Andrew then moved up to unhook the front clasp of Elizabeth’s bra and remove it. At first she tried to hide herself as the bra fell away, but Andrew took her wrists and with more of a smile than she had ever seen from him before, moved her hands away. She stood before him, now clad only in her panties, thigh-top stockings, and heels. He laid her back on the bed and she moved to the center. Andrew removed his shirt and trousers as Elizabeth watched, her excitement growing by leaps and bounds. She could feel herself getting wet as she saw him revealing himself to her like never before.

Elizabeth was no stranger to her desires, having masturbated many times to her late night fantasies. She had even considered buying herself a plastic boyfriend a few times, but the fear of her mother or father finding it kept her from doing so. Now though, she was about to experience her first time with a boy, and she was getting drenched at the prospect of her first real sexual encounter.

Andrew was also uninitiated in the ways of men and women. Unlike Elizabeth, he had no such fantasies, and never harbored any secret lustful desires. His was a practical, logical, and analytical mind – not given to flights of fancy or fantasies. But now his mind had taken a back seat to a more primal and animalistic nature. This wasn’t logical or practical, this was pure, raw lust!

“Oh my God!” Elizabeth gasped aloud as Andrew dropped his Incredible Hulk boxers and revealed what was causing such a protuberance in his pants. Andrew wasn’t just gifted with a brilliant mind – he sported quite a package as well! He now stood at the side of the bed with eight and a half inches of raging erection, looking for release!

Andrew crawled across the bed to Elizabeth. Positioning himself between her spread legs, he laid down on top of her and kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around him and felt more of him than anyone except his mother ever had. He let his brilliant genius go for the moment, allowing his nature as a man to take over from here. He began kissing her neck and nibbling on her ear. She shivered as his kisses moved down her neck to her shoulder and then along her collarbone to her chest.

“Ohhhh…” she moaned deeply as he kissed his way down to her heaving, naked breasts. He brushed his lips across one hard, erect nipple and she gasped at the feeling. With that as encouragement, he took the eraser-tip into his mouth, licking and nibbling it, listening to her reactions to guide his motions. Elizabeth was beside herself as these new exciting sensations and emotions came at her. She twisted and writhed under his mouth’s work. His hands weren’t idle either, caressing her sides and sliding ever so slowly down to her hips until they reached the waistband of her panties.

When they had arrived, Andrew sat up a bit, hovering over her and waiting for an invitation to continue. It wasn’t long in coming.

“Andrew please… please… make love to me,” she pleaded, looking up at his eyes. Her eyes flitted from one to the other as she looked for a reaction from him. He saw the raw need and desire in her face. He saw a beautiful woman wanting him, wanting to be his. And as illogical and impractical as it was, he wanted it too.

Andrew didn’t answer her in words. There were no words needed at that point. He simply removed the last vestige of her clothing, tossing it aside as he eased himself down on her. Elizabeth took his steel-hard cock in her hand, guiding it where she most wanted it, and he slid easily into her.

“Ohmygod! Ohmygod!” Elizabeth moaned loudly as she felt him enter her private world. He pressed deeper, exploring this new territory as his cock opened her up for the first time. He slipped a little deeper as she arched her back, enjoying the feeling of finally being filled.

Suddenly, he felt a barrier and stopped. He looked at her and she smiled shyly, nodding her head and biting her lip. He gathered himself and put his hands in hers, lacing their fingers together. When she was ready he pressed on, feeling her hymen tear and he took her flower.

She whimpered just a little, and he saw a small tear form in the corner of her eye. “Are you all right?” he asked. She nodded and whispered, “Keep going, Andrew… please.” Andrew pressed on, deeper and deeper, opening her up like no one ever had.

Elizabeth let go of his hands, and instead reached around his back holding him close, wanting to pull him entirely into her. She wanted all of him, she wanted every inch of him she could stuff inside her. It was glorious! Finally he had gone as far as he could go, pushing up against her cervix with the tip of his cock. He then began slowly withdrawing until just the mushroom head remained inside her.

“Now Andrew, fuck me and make me a woman. I want to be your woman… make me cum!” she said. The words felt as strange in her mouth as they did in Andrew’s ears, but he knew what he had to do. He began slowly pumping in and out of her, but as she moaned and whimpered her rising passions, he increased in speed and rate. Soon, he was pounding into her ferociously and Elizabeth was loving every hard, brutal thrust. Together the pair began the long climb to their crest, and within a few minutes they were both moaning and groaning their lustful need.

“Andrew, ohmygod, I’m gonna cum! Oh I’m gonna cum!” Elizabeth said urgently. He wanted to give her this, he wanted more than anything to make her cum. With a renewed determination, he thrust into her even harder and deeper – he was going to give her this gift or die trying!

“Ohhhhfuuuuckkk!!” she screamed as her world exploded. Andrew felt a warm rush surround his cock and her pussy walls clamped down on his aching cock. The sensation was enough to cause him to burst right along with her, and together they filled her pussy to overflowing. Their combined fluids leaked out around his cock and ran down the crack of her ass to stain the bed sheets with a red-tinged wetness. She clawed at his back as her first real orgasm swept through her, taking her mind with it. Andrew also was trying to find a footing in the whirlwind he was experiencing. He could only think to keep pumping, which only made it more powerful for them both. Finally, he collapsed on top of her, both of them panting, sweaty, and totally exhausted.

She pushed him off her with the last of her strength, and he rolled over to lay next to her as together they came down from wherever their orgasms had transported them.

“T-that was… incredible!” Elizabeth said, when she had finally calmed down enough to regain speech.

“Yeah,” was all Andrew could muster for a reply. They lay there for a couple more minutes, until they heard a commotion outside the bedroom window. They got up and pulled the drapes to the sides. Outside they saw the fireworks from the homecoming game. He pulled Elizabeth in front of him, holding her around the shoulders as they watched the show outside.

“Now I know what they mean by the Big Bang Theory!” she quipped, smiling broadly.

(My thanks to MadameMolly for the inspiration to write this story! 🙂 )

The above story is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and events in it are products of the author’s imagination and are used as fantasy. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All characters portrayed in this story are over sixteen (16) years of age.


Published 10 years ago

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