It was in his voice. Nobody except Lia seemed to notice. There were a dozen people at the table and not one of them caught onto the way his voice changed when he spoke to her. It became something deeper – firmer, and more insinuating. Were they not paying attention? His shift in tone was infuriatingly obvious to her and yet nobody – not her parents, not even his wife – glanced up.
Everything inside her moved when he’d speak that way. She knew her face had flushed but the restaurant wasn’t brightly lit and nobody looked at her, nobody noticed. Nobody ever noticed anything, except him. He noticed. He cared. Or maybe he was just pretending to care. She figured a guy like him knew the ways to unlock girls like her, even though he’d been married for decades.
She didn’t want to like him. Of course, it would make much more sense to fall for someone else; someone available and convenient, single and free and uncomplicated like the endless guys her friends dated. But it wasn’t that simple. Her life never was. Things didn’t play out the way they should and Drew’s voice made her heart race like nothing else ever could.
His hand was on her leg beneath the table. She’d worn the dress he’d told her to – black with a silver neckline – and his fingertips were silently tracing the hem. She wanted him to stop and yet she wanted him to shove his hand underneath and touch her until she couldn’t hide anything inside ever again. And then what? The thoughts were too much, her mind felt crowded, distracted, overworked, and she reached for her glass and sipped cool sparkling water. It helped a little.
Nobody knew. Nobody would guess. It was the kind of thing so outrageous it wouldn’t even seriously occur to anyone.
“I have to get going,” his wife said unexpectedly, apologetically, before they’d decided on dessert. “I have an appointment I really can’t miss.”
Cue a chorus of protests. Everybody loved his wife. Even Lia did, kind of. Her smile was warm and she had silky brown hair and wore a silky, flowing blouse. She was a very nice woman. Too nice.
“I’ll come with you,” Drew said and he started getting up and Lia felt her stomach plummet.
“Oh no, absolutely not,” his wife insisted. “You’ll be bored to death.” She waited unrelentingly until he sat back down. “Don’t worry, I’ll get a cab and I’ll see you at home.”
They kissed, mouths closed. Lia tried not to watch too obviously but privately decided that their kiss was as passionate as a door closing. And then his wife was gone and the table was still crowded but possibilities were already racing through Lia’s mind and she hated herself for being so selfish.
Every moment was stolen. The majority of their time together was spent in Drew’s car, parked on dirt tracks near the highway where drivers speeding past never thought to look twice. But those few hours were all theirs. Inside his car nobody else existed and he’d reach for her even when she tried to be mad at him and he’d pull her into him, kiss her mouth, and if she pulled away, he’d kiss her neck, his hands tight on her waist and she always, always gave in because she wanted him desperately, unstoppably like wanting air. And he’d make her come over and over until she felt weak and then he’d finally push his hard cock inside her, filling her clenching pussy and pumping relentlessly, his face contorted, teeth clenched hard, until everything fell beautifully apart.
And they’d stay there together a while, his arms around her, bodies crushed together and half her face would press into his neck and he smelled like mint and aftershave and cigarettes and she wanted to stay there forever but something always seemed to jerk them back to reality – the blare of a police siren or a truck blasting its horn or a cell phone or even just the angle of someone’s headlights ruining the dark silence.
Back in the restaurant, his hand was on her leg again and she’d eaten maybe a fifth of her Fuji apple crumble and she tried to focus on the conversation but she couldn’t help thinking of the last time he’d fucked her. They’d been at his place – his wife was away for the weekend – and he’d pulled her into the shower with him and kissed her under the steaming water, his hand venturing between her legs, fingers stroking skilfully until she was gasping into his mouth. And then he’d pushed her hard up against the cold tiles, pulling up her leg, opening her to him so he could sink his throbbing cock deep inside her. So deep. The memory alone made Lia sigh.
“What are you thinking?” Drew murmured.
She didn’t answer. She blinked.
Everyone else had finished dessert and she pushed her plate away, trying not to be affected by his proximity.
“You need a lift home?” he asked. “I’ll drive you.”
Her father looked up, obliviously grateful.
“Hey, yeah, Lia lives just ten minutes your way. Saves the cab fare, right honey?”
Lia tried to smile. She’d known Drew would offer from the moment his wife had left and she’d already decided to decline. She had to stick to no. Life would be easier, simpler, cleaner. No hiding, no more excuses and secrets, no rushed hotel rooms, no more lies. But then she looked at Drew and her insides crashed.
“That’s very kind of you,” she said and when she finally met his eyes, he smiled at her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen and it made her breath catch and everything was wrong but she was too far gone to care, too lost and she knew she should stop but she didn’t care, she didn’t care, she didn’t care, she did not care.
