Well, that didn’t work out well. I mean, we’re fine at work, but once again, you’re all proven right. I accept what’s been said and that I deserve anything else you have to say about me. Well, maybe not anything, Azalea. Remember to keep some thoughts to yourself, my love.
In unrelated news, I’ve been wearing pants the last few days. It’s weird, but ultimately okay. I get that trousers are not strictly menswear, but after wearing skirts and dresses for so long, I find myself feeling a bit constricted, and claustrophobic. More than that though, I feel feel out of place in my own body. I feel like I used to feel when I first started doing drag, which is funny because this is more or less the reverse.
Presenting as masculine again is an interesting challenge, but I’m curious how long I’ll go for it. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever been more masculine than relatively androgynous anyway, but it’s kind of a weird, fun disguise. It’s not like they haven’t seen me dressed as me. I suspect that they will start walking on me if they feel like I made this change because of them. I think that’s part of the point though. You know, like how the tide rolls out eerily fast in the moments before a tsunami.
I keep thinking I’ve decided that un a week or two I’m going full femme for one day, then back to this weird masculinity suit the next. After that I’m going to do a slow transition back to the real me. I want them to see the contrast, and I want them to see it change slowly. Too ridiculous? We’ll see. I can’t decide about whether to do the stark contrast before or after.
Sadly, there’s no further updates about dating. I’m back to loneliness for a little while, I guess. It will probably be good for me, though. I don’t think I should date anyone in the office again. I know, I know. You’re all thinking that I’m being ridiculous. There’s no way any of you would predict I’d do something as silly as not date coworkers. In truth and sarcasm aside though, I suppose you might actually be shocked if I stick to this choice for even half of this assignment. For that matter, so might I be.
I’m glad to hear about some of your successes in the realms of dating and sex, though. Damn, Lea. You are truly a slut. I love it. I love you. Thinking about you doing those things made me so hard – which served as a good reminder to not read your messages at work if I’m wearing a skirt. I wore pants to work for the first time the next day. I love you. The sexual adventures you have are beautiful.
Ginger, you are definitely being a creep. I did not see that coming, but it’s honestly super hot. I don’t think it would be if anyone else had told me that, but it suits you somehow. Please keep us updated, because I would very much like a bit more context in which to imagine you hiding in the shadows touching yourself while you watch. I’m so glad you’re enjoying my gift.
Back to me for a second, something weird happened the other day. Someone was hitting on me at a coffee shop. In itself, that isn’t so weird, but… she’s straight. It’s not that I don’t see how that happened, of course. I’m dressed in men’s clothes again, my makeup is pretty subtle, and it’s gross how fast I got back that masculine gait and priveledged pseudoconfidence. Regardless, I was definitely not expecting it. It was a really fucking weird feeling.
Truthfully, I was so surprised by what was happening that I didn’t explain why a date with me wouldn’t make sense, but I didn’t give her my number either. It seemed like she might have been expecting that of me by the conversation, but I don’t really feel bad either. She could have given me hers. Pretty glad she didn’t though, just because I need to breathe for a second. Also because that situation would be weird, and probably foolhardy to venture into.
She was pretty though… You all would have thought so. Especially Violet, though. Very much your type. She was a lot shorter than me, and when I looked at her face, I was also more or less looking down her shirt. I don’t know that would have been true if she hadn’t been standing so close to me, though. I was pretty hard, even when I got home. It wouldn’t go away until I jerked off. I read some stories and thought about all of us being together again, but she popped into my mind quite a few times. More than I thought she would. She was even there in the front of my thoughts when I came… What do you think that means?
Moving on again, I’m actually pleased to report that work is going well this week. They got a lot of the preliminary work done before I arrived, so I’m actually experiencing this “ahead of schedule” concept I’ve been hearing about my whole life. We’re ready to start automation tests with the new interface. If all goes well and there are no major setbacks in integration, I think we’ll have a new patch ready for field tests by the end of June. Hopefully you’ll have your goons under control by then Violet, but either way, it should make things a lot easier for you in the long run.
My hope is that this is the user interface that will work, but please keep telling me to rebuild it until it works exactly the way you want it to. This can’t fail, so we need to know if you are having problems with what we’re sending you. Your last report read a bit like an apology. And yours looked like two guys wrote it for you, Ginger. You don’t even have to put down your vibrator to do your job. Also, you’re so lovely. I miss you so much.
Okay. Scolding over. I miss you so much. I love you and want you, and I can’t wait to kiss you and touch you again. Please, everyone come home safely when this is all done. We worry, and we love you more than can truly be understood.
