Perfection can be strange, sometimes.
The moment I was living, that very moment, for example, was the picture of perfection; Dylan and I, frozen in the eternal instant of a kiss. It was perfect.
So, why wasn’t I insanely happy?
Our tongues kept moving, his fire was keeping me alive. I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to sip that happiness, but I couldn’t help it.
Dylan was right there, he was there, he was alive!
Also, I broke our friendship cause he was straight but, crap, he was kissing me! We even hooked up when we didn’t actually know each other!
He wasn’t that straight, after all, was he? But how come didn’t I notice that, in him, even once? Have I ever been a real friend to my former best friend?
And again, I was overthinking; stop it, Spencer, just stop.
But I couldn’t help…
It wasn’t my kiss, I wasn’t deserving it.
My hands pressed on his massive trips as I stepped back from his sexy beard.
I could only see his sad eyes, judging me, before a shower of bitter reality. “Don’t think I’m forgiving you, nor even forgetting what you have done, to me. You were fainting right in my arms and I didn’t want this party to suck because of us.”
Every single word of his was a knife right in my heart.
Yeah, Dylan was disappointed towards me and hurt by my actions, I could tell. He had every right, but it was still painful, so damn painful.
Music was playing around us, I closed my eyes and tried to get touched by the notes.
“It’s been so long… I’m not blaming you for blaming me… Can we talk?”
Dylan wasn’t even looking at me, but I wouldn’t have quit on him, not again. “Please… Then you can keep hating me, but we need to talk.”
My hairy chevalier was reluctant at first, very reluctant, then he took my hand and my heart skipped another beat.
We moved to another room, a smaller and more discreet one: empty aviaries decorated with roses were surrounding the room, a garden under the roof. He walked further, turning his back on me. There was so much I had to ask him and so much I wanted to tell him, but I was perceiving a wall made of ice between the two of us.
I can’t believe he was still the person making me feel alive, just a few minutes ago.
“I’m waiting, Spencer.”
My face stared at him, in silence. I could have begun to talk, but it would have not been helpful with his attitude.
“You said you wanted to talk, didn’t you? Here we are, in a small, quiet room, just like you asked. So, just go ahead, tell me everything if you’re ready to do so.”
“I am ready, but I need to know something first.”
Silence from him: that was his green light, perhaps.
“Why did your parents have to fake your death? What happened?”
No words from him, just his breathing for an answer.
I could see his hands closing in punches, for the tension. My eyes noticed Dylan’s reflection on a window; his dead gaze hurt me like a slap on the face, I could recognize the same passed out gaze I’d had earlier in the afternoon, when mom told me about his “death”.
His head moved; Dylan looked at the window too, and I felt touched by his eyes.
A pair of poisoned, emeraldine dead swords was ready to pierce me. “I don’t owe you an explanation about what happens in my life, Spencer. I’m out of their life, they’re out of mine. Period.”
His voice was gravy, his words were rational. But I knew there was more, I knew a bleeding heart was hiding behind a cold fog.
“I’m… I’m deeply sorry. For everything. I’m sorry for not having told you the truth about my feelings, I’m sorry for not having been the friend you deserved. I understand your pain, ’cause it’s my pain as well. And…”
I could not finish my phrase, because Dylan turned back and looked directly at me, with an unseen rage on his face. He was gonna explode. He was gonna hurt me with his words.
“Pain? Wanna really talk about pain? I dare you! I fucking dare you to talk about pain! You know nothing about it!”
Those damned goosebumps on my skin, once again…
“Listen…”
“Enough listening to any of your excuses! You are nothing to me, since you chose to ignore and exclude me from your glittered existence!”
Now, that strike hurt, a lot, but he was just getting started…
“That damn summer, I only wanted one fucking chance to talk to you, ’cause I was feeling different! I was feeling an attraction to men and the only one person I needed at that moment, my best friend, was pretty busy with his bullshit!”
His eyes were on fire. My goodness, I did everything wrong! He’d been ready to come out to me!
I didn’t have the courage to answer so far, so I tried to make my point: “I was afraid, Dylan…” I had to stay strong, strong enough to not cry. “My fear for your rejection made me a coward. But…”
“But?”
I could feel his livid and angry sight over me, just like a hand, ready to hit me again. Words refused to come out; I had to give up…
Dylan made a snort of disappointment: “Thought so. I had no one by my side. My parents were so relieved you were no longer my best friend.”
That didn’t come as much as a surprise, actually.
“Don’t let me even start on what the school jocks said about you… It was despicable back then, and it’s despicable now. The worst part is that I thought they were right… Of course, rugby players do not have sex with men! Rugby players are pussy hounds! I was wrong about my sexuality, this guy wasn’t gay, nor bisexual. Not me! So, guess what, Spencer? While you were living your happy, lucky life, I was building a castle made of big lies. My parents also introduced me to a woman who should have been “the one” of my life…
“Yeah! I was so close, so fucking close to marrying that woman! I needed help. I needed someone close enough to listen to my problems. I needed you, but where were you again? Uh, never mind! So, I had to become that person. I had to become my own best friend. And I had to convince myself that making everyone else happy would have not made myself happy in return. I had to convince myself that the sole way to save that woman from an unhappy marriage, was to end up being hated by her.”
I kept staring at him, receiving his accusations like an exhausted fighter in the corner of the ring.
“I’m not gonna bore you any further with my recent past, which you clearly could not care any less about, as you could not care any less of me. But you asked for the truth, so here you go.”
His big body came closer to me, the fire in his eyes was getting more intense.
My feet did not move, though.
Everything was unpredictable; he could have said and done anything at that point, but I had to stay. I could have been hurt, but there’s no truth that won’t hurt.
“Three nights ago. Me and my parents weren’t talking that much since I broke the engagement. They didn’t even know of my new professional partnership with Robin. So, I decided to give them a surprise. Can you figure out what I’ve been doing there?”
My heart skipped a beat, I felt my body shaking and my ears just heard me saying: ” You… You came out to your family…”
He was furious; he was so furious and frustrated, he couldn’t keep talking.
“So, this is why they told everyone that you died, isn’t this? They couldn’t accept the idea of a queer son?”
For the first time, I saw some tears on his raged eyes… “Ding ding ding. First prize for you! Thought it would have been simple, like in your case. But you were the lucky one, not me. You’ve always been lucky, Spencer. I had to tell them how during these months my life was changed, since the day I’ve met someone, someone who made me lose my mind, in a couple of encounters… Does it sound familiar?”
No! It couldn’t be… It was me!? I caused his pain, once again?
“Dylan…”
“Isn’t that funny? It was all about you, once again. Oh, you should have seen it. When I tried to explain how special this woman was… And when I had to say this woman had a penis… What a magic moment.”
He wasn’t even angry anymore.
“Dad yelled shit at me, slapping my face, pushing me. ‘Did you forget how to be a man?’ Father of the year. And my mom… Oh, Mom. She kept screaming at me to stay away, brandishing the Holy Cross like I was a fucking demon. She also opened all of her bottles of Holy Water! She fucking bathed me with that shit. Called me every bad name… she wasn’t recognizing me as her son, but I definitely wasn’t recognizing her as a human being.”
Enough. Enough listening to all of this. Yes, everything was my fault, once again. But I had to do something.
So, I did the stupidest thing I could do; I stepped forward and hugged him.
His body was steaming for the rage and the tension, his heart was beating faster than the drum solo in a Queens Of The Stones Age’s song.
Dylan stood there. He didn’t hug me back, but he wasn’t even bouncing me.
“This is my fault,” I had the courage to say. “This is all my fault, Dylan. And I will never forgive myself for this pain that you had to suffer because of me.”
Dylan wasn’t even paying attention to my words, as he kept talking of that night.
“She said she would have never given me birth if she knew I would have ended up like this. She said she should have caused herself a miscarriage. She said she wished I would have died of sleep apnea when I was a baby…”
Those words were fucking terrible, I hugged him even more. No mother should be allowed to even think what Dylan’s mother dared to say.
Finally, I felt his arms around my body, then his chest gasped; was he… crying?
The motion of his pumped-up chest, the suffocated noises of his sobs. Dylan was giving his emotions up to me, and I could have not been any happier!
His tears called my tears out anyway. Sadness was the only strong link between the two of us.
In the middle of our weaknesses, I took the courage to talk to him: “Our pasts can not be changed, Dylan, as much as I would really want to. But our present can, our future can… Let me help you to have a better present. Let me help us to have better futures! Because… Because I love you. I said that. I loved you back then and… and I love you now.”
Right at that moment, I wanted to give him proof of my feelings, kissing his chest, covered by his Victorian jacket. But it wasn’t enough for me, I wanted his face, his beard, his lips, his tongue, his passion, his desire.
My hands looked for his neck to reach my face.
Dylan was reluctant.
“I love you,” I said again.
His beautiful, emeraldine eyes looked at me. That man had the power of making me feel naked, every damn time. He didn’t say anything, but his gaze communicated with me, telling me much more than what his words did since then.
I kissed him on the lips, once.
Twice.
Three, four, five times, till Dylan let me in with my desperate tongue and kissed me back, starving; a kiss, a real kiss, a legit kiss.
It was the first time that night when I actually felt realized. He wanted me, I wanted him.
How many minutes we may have spent?
Dylan looked at me again. Oh, that sweet sensation of impotence…
He sobbed.
“Spence… If this could be enough to make me forget all the pain, I would immediately turn the page with you. It’s not easy.”
His beautiful eyes were so sad. My beautiful, sweet, sexy muscle bear.
“I can’t blame you for that. Sometimes I run off luck, too,” I tried to let him feel a little better. “Actually… I was wondering if me leaving the girlband could be helpful, in some way.”
He shook his head, disagreeing. “Look, if you think this could help me…”
“I’m not.” This time I was the serious and the worried one. “I’m not doing this for you, I’m not doing this for myself, either. I’m asking you if you want me to leave this project because I want to protect my girls. They don’t deserve to pay for my mistakes.”
Dylan stayed in silence, looking at me with an interrogative expression. I caught a shine on his eyes.
He smiled: “Correct answer… But no, there is no need for you to leave. Your friends have worked hard, but so did you. You did what you could, to make a better future for yourself.”
“Can I have one more kiss?”
His lips met mine, in a blessing; now I could come back home happy.
————————–
If I survived that night, then I was really lucky, after all.
Home sweet home.
I’d left Dylan with the promise of meeting each other soon. The best part? I do not have his number and he doesn’t have mine!
He’ll probably ask Robin to give him my number. He’ll call me and I will absolutely pretend to be surprised.
Wow, this was still like a dream, but… Oh, I had to inform my mother! My goodness, no! Okay, I would have called her the following morning, no rush.
But Colin, he needed to know.
My smartphone tried to reach his number, several times. Shit, this got me nervous.
For the gazillionth time, I heard her voice mailbox incoming.
But I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, I needed to drop the bomb, on a Whatsapp vocal message: “Bitch, it’s Spencer. I have huge news, huge news about me and the co-owner of the label. Please, save your lunch break for me tomorrow, I need to talk to you!”
Everything was arranged, but I still was nervous, thrilled. I couldn’t sleep.
Doc Multon would have not been happy, but I needed to calm myself down.
I always take my prescriptions; one night off as a quantum could not affect my health!
Luckily I had my emergency kit of marijuana… would have paired so well with some shots of Jager.
What a weird situation going on; there was me, with my shoes still on, at midnight, preparing my goodnight joint.
I took my phone, making sure the alarm was set. Then, I picked my favorite vaporwave playlist, to play along with my relaxation.
The medicine was ready.
Shoes off, I laid on the bed, took a first couple of shots, and lighted my joint.
——————
So good.
I was doing so well.
My breath was so calm, the beats of my heart slowed their rush down to a peaceful walk. A little cough reminded me I should have drunk some more, the beginning of my distancing from reality was just right behind the corner.
Amazing…
Something captured my attention, I slowly turned my head to the door of the bathroom; vapor was coming out, from the bottom of the closed door.
Who was in my bathroom? My head was spinning too much for thinking of anything.
The door opened, as a steamy fog invaded the bedroom. I couldn’t see anything until the unknown person approached the bed.
“Dylan…”
He was wearing the same towel he wore when we first met. He also had the same cute and sexy smile coming out of his beard.
Was it a dream? Was that reality?
“Vaporwave music… My favorite! Oh, and you don’t mind sharing, right?”
Dylan kneeled on the bed and took a puff of my joint. I could enjoy that beautiful show of his massive chest inhaling the smoke and breathing it out. He served me another one of his sexy smiles; fuck, he makes everything look sexy.
I smoked one more time, then I just lighted it off.
My hands behind his taurine neck, I just dragged him down, to make out with me.
Gosh, I could feel the entire weight of his naked torso on my body, pinning me down on the mattress, I never felt this good. His hungry mouth took me above reality, his expert hands gave chills to the skin under my dress. Dylan stopped kissing me and our mouths formed a small, hot wire of saliva. He was giving me one of his enigmatic facial expressions.
Can’t he get any fucking hotter?
He looked at me very sweetly and tenderly. I so could not see it coming when his strong hands just ripped the front of my dress. A gasp of surprise and excitement came out of my mouth.
My muscle lover proceeded to feast on my tits, making them wet with this tongue, tickling and arousing them with his thick beard, thick as his thick cock.
I couldn’t control this heavenly infernal appetite; I was on fire.
Dylan’s tongue climbed up to the neck, and his insatiable hunger unleashed once again.
His passion was cannibalizing my inner spirits, my body was just the buffet of a real sex fiend. My hands reached his big and sculpted shoulders, I heard him grunting right below my ear as my nails planted on his skin.
He stopped devouring my neck, and this time his eyes were in real beast mode; his hands ripped and ruined, then took off of me what was left of my dress.
I was… naked. Naked inside and outside. And I was afraid he wouldn’t like me after all.
But there was no time for words, as my beefy fucker turned the tables and I was lying on my stomach.
Dylan took the bottle of Jagermeister and poured some of the bitter liqueur on the back of my neck; the alcohol ran down, following the line of my spine. I giggled with the excitement when I felt the tip of his tongue right above my ass, to catch every drop and drink from my body. Apparently, he wasn’t done yet, as I felt the Jager raining on me again, this time over my butthole.
The warm breath suggested that Dylan was right there, ready to not let anything end up wasted. An entire spectrum of feelings flashed in my brain. The cold, creamy alcohol, combined with his steamy and wet tongue rimming my ass, caused me to moan wildly… He’s such a savage lover!
“Fuck me, Dylan,” I heard myself moaning, “I can’t take this no more, please, fuck me. Get inside me. Breed me, I need you. I need your dick inside me, I need that, please…”
There was no vocal response, but I heard the sound of his towel getting removed from his waist. I gave a quick look; his penis was bigger than I recalled! Big, thick, hard, ready to conquer me.
With a hand, I took my joint and lighted it on again. I wanted to enjoy every single second of the plow; the tip of his cock caressed my wet and sticky butthole. He proceeded, nice and slow.
“Oh my…”
The church was inside, but the rest of his manhood was still out.
He used the Jagermeister again, to lube my back-doored pussy; I had a longer smoke, I wanted to not even feel the slightest of the pain. Done. Dylan was there. I could feel him taking his space inside me.
No pain, only pleasure.
He fucked me like the beast I was expecting him to be.
Everything on him was authoritarian; his gaze, his firm hands grabbing and spanking my ass, his severe cock, his grunts.
The joint was consumed, now I just had to enjoy the rest of the ride. Neverending and intense minutes of him destroying my ass
Dylan lifted my leg over his head, forcing me to set myself on my side. My naked body as at his mercy, again. His powerful hands moving from my butt to my tits again.
He laid with his weight, which resulted in a deeper fuck.
I had to moan again; I’d never felt this way, I’d never felt so feminine!
He was my 100% Charming Beast and I was his Disney goofy princess… Shit, what was that, now? He was fucking me in parts I didn’t even know existed!
My prostate…That was my prostate! He reached my fucking prostate with his punishing cock! I had tears coming out of my eyes for that extreme pleasure. I couldn’t handle that any longer, his cock, my God, his cock!
I was gonna cum with no hands, impressive!
Dylan brought me to a spontaneous cum; it had never happened to me before, I thought it was more like an urban legend! He looked at me and his hungry mouth turned to a sweet dispenser of kisses, as his cock boosted and pumped his seed inside my ass.
Finally, after a long night, I could feel relieved.
But, what was gonna happen now?
I felt so tired, so exhausted… It was effective, after the beautiful hallucination.
Too bad, it wasn’t real. But I enjoyed every second! And who knows, maybe it was just a matter of time before I’d end up having real sex with Dylan… The future was getting better, and I couldn’t wait to live it!
My name is Spencer.
And even when everything looked hopeless…
I got lucky.
THE END
