(Mid 1980s) It was my second summer home from college, which I approached with great determination to make progress toward my goal of acting. The previous summer I spent working at the ice cream shop, among other distractions, and I had signed up for too many classes and activities during my semesters at Florida to find time for performing. So, this summer I was determined to make time for auditioning. It did not go as well as I had hoped, but I did land a small part in a production at a community theater. I was also back at the ice cream shop, but was able to work my schedule around the show.
The play featured mostly older women struggling with their husband’s philandering. I played a young woman who was the focus of their hatred. (Somewhat ironic when considering my last summer at home, although I don’t believe my affair was ever discovered – Part 13 of my story.) My role in the play was a small one with only a few scenes, but it was fun for me. I got to feel pretty and desired while playing up my sexuality. I had several good lines in the final act where I appeared wearing a towel. And as you can imagine, I made something of this.
My character entered this scene in a cute tennis outfit, just back from a match with one of the husbands. (I loved my little skirt, and this began my wearing tennis skirts often for many years.) In the scene, after announcing that I was off to have a shower, I had to exit stage left and return about 2 minutes later in a towel to finish the act. This was not exactly a quick change, but it was too much for me to make it to the dressing room and back – or at least that was my excuse to change into the towel just offstage in the wing.
I had a hook, small light, and mirror where I would prepare. Usually, no one was around when I changed, except one young man, Tim, who had to be there in position to work the curtain at the end of the show, and for curtain calls.
Actors are generally free and liberal. In the theater, it is common for the performers to change clothes in front of each other. We all just want attention. But Tim was new to the theater. He was shy and reserved. I sensed the awkwardness during the rehearsal when I first changed into my towel. He was trying to not look directly at me, but it was obvious that he was making the most of his peripheral vision… as was I. His discreet efforts to watch me while I changed excited me.
I was not naked. I kept on my bra and panties, only pulling my arms from under the straps and tucking them in so I would appear to be wearing nothing under the towel. But I wondered if Tim had ever seen a girl in her underwear before. Although officially an adult, he was young and timid. From the time I spent around Tim, I had come to believe he was most likely a virgin. And even though I knew he was trying to watch me undress, I also thought he might be gay.
As the cast and crew grew friendly, spending a lot of time together at and away from the show, we began to learn about each other. At one point, unrelated to the show, I had to make a long drive out of town. I dreaded this because I had never done that alone before. For this, Tim gave me a mixtape that he made specifically for me. It was a cassette tape, both sides filled with songs to which he had clearly put much thought and effort. That is when I realized Tim was not gay. He had a crush on me. Others started to make comments. I remember a girlfriend from the cast told me that, “Tim has the hots for you.”
Through rehearsals I enjoyed Tim discreetly watching me change, and began to imagine the fun it would be to escalate things. What if I were to go without my bra? I knew this would surprise, and hopefully also please and excite Tim, as it would me. It would be so thrilling for me to be onstage in this way under my towel. But now knowing how Tim feels, I worried it may be unkind to tease him too much.
I wasn’t interested in anything more than a little fun with Tim. He was nice and cute, but young. Looking back now, the difference in age between us was not much. But over the past couple of years, I had gained a great deal of experience with men, and I thought of Tim as just a boy.
After several performances in front of lively audiences, in my role as the coquettish homewrecker, I was feeling sexier than ever. This grew my desire to take things further. My selfishness helped convince me that Tim would want to see more, even if I did not want a relationship with him. So, during our first Sunday matinee, I exited the stage for my quick change and took off my top, skirt, shoes, and socks, as usual. Then I glanced over at Tim who was obviously pretending to be occupied with his curtain ropes, and I removed my bra.
Through rehearsals I had learned that I didn’t need to rush. I used to get into my towel quickly, but then I would have more than a minute to wait for my cue. So, now standing in the wing of the stage in only my panties, I fixed my lipstick in the mirror and delayed putting on my towel until I had no doubt Tim had seen me. This gave me a good thrill, but I was still surprised how much my blood was pumping after I wrapped my towel around me and took the stage. I had no trouble with the towel before, but I was now very aware of my condition here in front of a few hundred people – vulnerable, nervous, and loving it.
At the end of each show, I had the choice to change back into my clothes or stay in the towel for my curtain call (when we take our bows). Tim would still be in his place to work the curtain, but the wings by this point were filled with the rest of the cast getting into position for their curtain calls. I felt very sexy taking my bow in my towel (I would actually curtsy). I knew it would also be exciting for me to change in the wings with more people around, but so far, I always stayed in my towel until after the show and then I would carry my clothes back to the dressing room to change.
To this point, only Tim knew what I wore under my towel. I learned this had become something of a curiosity among the cast and crew. One night we were at a restaurant after the show. Several drinks in, the lead male actor (who I thought very handsome) called across the table to me asking what I wore under that towel. The table fell silent as all eyes turned to me. I was not expecting the question but knew what everyone wanted to hear.
I dramatically announced, “Absolutely nothing at all!”
They laughed, but a few looks suggested some really wanted to know.
“Just ask Tim,” I said.
We all looked to him. His face turned red, and his palms turned up. After more laughter, and unanswered prodding, the conversation moved on. But Tim and I locked eyes for a bit, and he grinned. I returned a cheeky smile.
For the next few performances, I went without the bra. Tim seemed to relax some, and I noticed him looking my way more. This helped keep things exciting. Not that being onstage in just a towel and panties would ever get boring for me, but as it had become a bit routine, I wanted more. With only a few shows left, I was determined to take things further. I had decided to really do it and go completely nude under my towel.
When the time came, I stood again in just my panties, with my attention divided between Tim and the mirror. All nerves, I was working hard to build my courage. When I get like this, I tend to giggle and fidget – kind of a nervous little jig. Several times I began to pull my panties down and then quickly up again as I chickened out.
I am sure I looked quite silly to Tim. He must have wondered, ‘What is wrong with this half naked girl who is clumsily struggling with her panties while hopping around silently laughing at herself in the mirror?’. I was asking myself the same thing. Any chance to appear sexy and bold was lost. I couldn’t go through with it.
My next idea was to ‘misplace’ my towel. Before the next show, I moved it from the hook and placed it on the other side of where Tim would be. When the time came, I stripped down to my panties, then feigned panic as I couldn’t find my towel. I saw it near Tim and scurried over, while clumsily handling my boobs, and urgently whispered for him to pass me the towel. He did as I stood in front of him quietly apologizing and fumbling with the towel.
After that show, I asked Tim if I had embarrassed him. He shook his head. I asked if he had ever seen a girl naked. He nodded, but I didn’t believe him. He was clearly stunned and couldn’t verbalize an answer. This really turned me on. Almost daily, I felt desired by men. But I had rarely been in a power position. With Tim, I felt like the older experienced one. I was young myself, but this made me feel like Mrs. Robinson. A new experience – I loved it. Tim seemed so innocent and infatuated, and I was in control.
I asked him if I was as pretty as the other girls he had seen. Finally, he answered with words that I was the prettiest girl he knew. I started to wonder if he was smarter and more experienced than I imagined, but I kept going with the fantasy I had created. If he had asked me out, I probably would have said no, but I was a little disappointed that he hadn’t tried.
Our last weekend of performances was the most fun. I made more of a show of changing, even doing a little burlesque style dance in the mirror while putting on my towel. Tim was now watching me with fewer reservations. He would smile at me, and I would blow him a kiss before taking the stage.
Tim’s responses to my increasing antics had filled me with vampish daring. And as our last two performances were upon us, I was ready to really go for it. While changing, I finally surrendered the overwhelming urge. Wearing only my panties, I sashayed over to Tim and put my hand behind his neck, pulling myself up to my tiptoes. He was taller than me. I pressed my boobs to his chest to balance myself and secure his attention. Then I put my lips against his ear.
With a breathy whisper, I asked, “Can you keep a secret?”
Without waiting for an answer, I moved my thumbs under the lacey elastic waistband, and slid out of my panties. I paused there, completely nude, to give us time to take in the moment. He was shocked, but we were both nervous and excited. Returning to my mirror, I curtsied to him before wrapping my towel around me. Then I skipped over and gave him a quick little kiss before taking the stage.
I was so overloaded with endorphins while onstage with nothing between me and all of these people but this loosely fixed towel. My nerves encouraged me to keep a tight grip through the whole scene, while distracted by my thoughts of the view that may be afforded to the orchestra seats. I had considered this when in my panties, and enjoyed the ambiguousness of what they might see. But now I found it hard to concentrate on my lines while aware I may be offering a show far more explicit than anyone expected. For my distractions, this was not my best performance, at least not for the paying audience… but this one was for me.
After the show, on my way to the dressing room, I was hoping to see the actor who had asked what I wore under my towel. But his curtain call was after mine, so I had to wait backstage for him to pass. When he did, I opened my towel such that he could see only the side of my body, but enough to know I was really naked under the towel. I had a great time with this. Word spread, and through the next day, leading up to our last show, all the talk was of me.
I was so full of myself by the last performance and couldn’t stop thinking of how much further I could go. I knew I was about to do something crazy, and wasn’t sure if I wanted to stop myself – or even if I could. Soon I committed to the idea to lose control of my towel onstage during the final act.
When the time came, I exited the stage for my quick change and stripped down nude as before. But this time I was so caught up with what I was about to do, that I hardly noticed Tim’s reaction. Wrapping the towel around me, but this time not tucking it in – only holding it together with my arms – planning to ‘accidentally’ let the towel loose when I delivered my last line. I didn’t know how far I would let it fall before catching it and covering up. How exposed I would be was somewhat up to chance, and this thrilled me like nothing else. I imagined the excitement this would bring, and the reactions of the cast and audience. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do, but it was a dream scenario for me. I could not let the opportunity pass.
I took the stage, struggling to focus on my lines before the moment arrived. At that point, I thought of all that everyone put into the show, and felt as though my own selfish desires may overshadow the efforts of my friends. I wanted the attention, but I could not go through with it. I found myself back in the wings with the towel still around me while everyone gathered near for curtain calls.
Feeling disappointed having let the opportunity pass, I stood near the hook that held my bra and panties. I looked around to see if anyone noticed this, which should all but prove that I really was naked under my towel. No one seemed to notice. At that moment, I knew what I wanted to do. With the whole cast silently gathered next to me, I turned to my hook and dropped the towel. Too nervous to look over at them, I stepped into my panties and pulled them up as I began to hear their excited whispers. I thought I might pass out and held on to the hook as I reached for my bra.
Then the cue came for the first group to take the stage for their bows. I was in the second group, and now realized that I took too long. I did not have enough time to fully dress. So, I dropped my bra and grabbed the towel, hugging it to my body. I was in such a state, somewhere between panic and elation. I knew I should wrap the towel around me, but I was so caught up in the moment that I just couldn’t.
My cue came and I took the stage in my panties while holding the towel to my chest. Prancing lively across to my mark, I caught the looks of the cast, who were trying not to react in front of the audience. I knew my face must be bright red as I couldn’t stop giggling enough to catch my breath. Trying to be playful, I lowered the towel in a teasing manner, squeezing my boobs with my arms, to offer a little cleavage as I curtsied. It was amazing to be out onstage in this way, flirting with the audience while relishing their applause.
Although very exciting, my moment was brief as I had to skip off stage for the others to take their bows. But my exit was just as thrilling as I turned away from the audience, keeping the towel in front of me, leaving them with no doubt that I wore only panties. I felt this was something close to the experience of performing in a burlesque-style show, of which I had long fantasized.
Backstage, I finished dressing beside my hook in the wings, still holding the gazes of most of my castmates. I feared a lecture may be coming, and did get a great deal of attention, but it was positive. Their reactions were varied, but all wonderful. Most thought I was fun and daring. Rewarded by their reactions, I was exhilarated, and loved every minute that I held their attention.
By the cast party, everybody was talking of my hijinks – even those not in the show. These were fun people, and the whole experience was lighthearted. This was the kind of thing for which I had been looking. I loved performing in the theater and getting away with my shenanigans. I really felt like this was where I belonged.
Tim never asked me out. I think he was too intimidated, or at least that is what I told myself. I tried to imagine things from Tim’s perspective. For all the times I fantasized about a guy, or girl, seldom if ever had things gone the way I dreamed they would. I was perhaps a bit full of myself, but I loved thinking I may have given something to Tim that came close to a fantasy.
If he was more forward, I probably would have resisted. Human behavior is often quite strange – and I think particularly my own. But I have had such a beautiful time exploring it all.
