I told Steven that I am going to see Tessa in Naarden. Tessa told Lucas that she is going to have dinner with me, but instead she has a masterclass with the Pilates instructor. I meet Mark at Bird Restaurant on the Zeedijk. I am glad I decided to wear fancy lingerie, even though it will stay hidden under a woollen dress. It is autumnal outside, a stark contrast to the sultry night after Madama Butterfly.
I am led to the table by the friendly Thai gentleman. Mark is already there, and I get a kiss on the mouth and a pat on the bum. We sit by the window overlooking the canal. The place is full of buzz and the smell of spices, no one is paying attention to us. After a few pleasantries, we study the menu and order an abundant number of dishes. When the waiter has gone, Mark slides a black box towards me. I see it is from Appenzeller and look at him, wondering what it could be. He smiles at me.
‘A gift, for our affair.’
Slightly uncomfortable I remove the lid and fold the black fabric aside. A silver necklace glares at me, how terrible that I haven’t brought him anything.
‘Oh Mark, that’s beautiful. I am speechless. Thank you.’
I wrap the necklace around my neck and close the clasp.
‘It looks even better on you than I thought it would. I am going to miss you, but maybe it is good that you’re away from the scene for a while.’
‘What do you mean?’
Mark wonders what’s wrong with me and why I don’t want to have sex with him anymore. Our sex was fantastic, wasn’t it? I use the precarious situation at home as an excuse, but Mark doesn’t give in. With audible irritation in his voice, he moves on to the LoL. What have I really got out of this? The sex with him, the threesome with Sarah and the disappointing night at the Club. That’s it, and no progress.
‘Are you going to let us all down, including yourself?’
I am shocked at his tone.
‘No offence, but you really don’t know everything.’
‘Oh?’
I confess to the dune sex with Tommy. Mark is clearly waiting to see if there is more to come, but I leave it at that.
‘Bizarre that you kept this from me. We came up with the LoL together and I deflowered you, didn’t I?’
He takes a big swig of his beer and looks out the window, where a canal boat is passing by.
‘Mark, I am sorry, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. This is all, I have nothing else on my mind.’
His serious expression slowly softens.
‘You little rascal, I don’t believe you. Promise me that from now on I’ll know what you’re up to.’
‘Yes, Mark, I promise.’
‘Good girl.’
The food arrives and we order more beer. We enjoy the exquisite food and the improved mood. We leave the restaurant slightly rosy and walk arm in arm through the Red Light District, munching on a Thai mint and ducking into some dark corners for a quick kiss. Suddenly Mark stops, we are outside the last remaining peep show.
‘Let’s pop in for a quick look.’
‘Really?’
‘Come on, I want a proper kiss before you go.’
Mark signals wordlessly to the man behind the counter, ‘us, in here, OK?’ The man nods and we choose one of the empty booths. Mark drops two euros in the slot and the hatch lowers. A voluptuous lady looks at us amusedly and carries on with her show. Mark unzips my jacket and gives my boobs a squeeze. My nipples instantly react to his touch, our mouths suck together and we drown in a kiss.
‘I want you, let me fuck you. Please.’
He unzips his trousers and presses his bouncing boner against my crotch. The hatch closes slowly, we are now standing in the blue glow of the anti-junk lamp and Mark looks at me longingly. I turn and put my hands against the sticky wall, but it is so rancid that I turn back immediately. Before I can explain to Mark, the hatch lowers and the turntable lady appears. She knocks on the window and asks in a genuine Amsterdam accent if we want to swap places. Mark grins, but I only half understand what she’s talking about.
‘It was meant to be! Come on, let’s do it. A few minutes, it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.’
He pulls me out of the booth, the man who nodded earlier now points to a door. We end up in a dressing room, the kind you might expect at a peep show. There is an extra door, no doubt leading to the stage. As we kiss, we undress each other, leaving only my lingerie on. Mark presses his naked body against mine ready to take me, when the stage door swings open and the lady appears.
‘Wow! Come this way.’
A small part of me wants to run, but Mark gives me a nudge and I step into the warmly lit room. The turntable is fitted with a comfortable cover and rotates at a leisurely pace past a dozen small windows with mirrors in between. The lady closes the door, it is up to us now.
‘Hop, hop on. We’ll show them a thing or two.’
Mark dives between my legs and snakes his tongue around the edge of my thong. Several hatches open, at least six men are watching. The alternating images of mirrors and aroused men’s heads make for a hallucinatory experience. Mark switches to his fingers and brings his mouth close to my ear, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine.
‘Do you like being watched? All these men want their dicks in you, they want to see me fuck you. Come on, get on your hands and knees so you can get a good look at them. Take off your thong and bra too.’
I do as he says, what the piercing eyes want. Mark is sitting behind me, I can see in the mirrors that he is holding his dick like a precious sword. All the shutters are down now, they must have called people in from the street to watch this spectacle. Mark gets hold of me by the waist, searches for the horny hole and slips in. The men behind the windows are clearly wanking, their moans mixing with ours through the wall. Mark’s goes deep inside me and his lower body slaps against my butt, which I willingly hold aloft for him. One of the spectators has taken it into his head to film us, I see the light on his mobile phone. Within three seconds he is being pulled out of his stall, his stumbling and protesting interrupting our scene.
Mark winks at me in the mirror and starts thrusting again. He moistens his thumb with our fuckjuice and makes small circles around my asshole. I move with him and feel him slide in. Mark goes faster, harder, and together we go beyond the ‘point of no return’. Applause echoes from the booths as we roll off each other satiated. In the back room, we catch our breath and try to compose ourselves. We joke; he kisses me again. There is a knock on the door, and a tall man comes in. He hands us both a bottle of cold water.
‘I am Jan, the boss here. Nice show. You can always come back for another.’
‘Who knows,’ we say at the same time.
‘Very well! By the way, we forced the bastard to delete the clip. We take care of our stars.’
We are back outside within twenty minutes, barely realising what has just happened.
I missed my train and have to wait over an hour for the next one. I text home that I was on the wrong platform and will be late. Steven doesn’t seem to mind, he reacts curtly. I don’t feel guilty; I am happy to get an extra hour with Mark. We settle down at the Kletskop for one last drink and explore the many dark corners for which this pub is notorious.
