I know who I am
I am still a little girl in a woman’s needy body
I’m the one who wants and wants and when my hand is holding yours, I dream it will be forever
I will always be safe in a world of giants,
When you have tasted these lips you will want no others,
When I have given you everything, it will be enough.
It isn’t
You know there are others, better than me, with more than I have,
different lines, different thighs, bodies, and lives to plunder for the joy that’s in them
This is the way I don’t learn
Missing what I pretend was there, feeling like a gumball dropped from a child’s hand,
green, sticky, only momentarily missed
A woman now in a needy body, hair turning silver, I wish I felt nothing, needed no one, never dreamed of anything at all, just a green gumball
But I do
and it always hurts to have just been a shadow in someone else’s life
