I gazed at the ominous palisades of dark clouds above me as I lay awakening in the filth of an alley. The stench was overpowering as it permeated the ragged shadows of my resting place. I had returned or been returned from the horrors of the underworld, mentally and physically hollowed out…bereft. Had it been eons, days, minutes? I had no means to measure time past. I glanced cautiously around my surroundings praying not to glimpse the shape of the “Collector”. I was alone in every sense of the word.
As I pulled myself to a sitting position my head spun as if I had been drugged causing me to slump down into a reclining position, my eyes closed as a dull, throbbing pain coursed throughout my body. Claustrophobia wound around me tighter and tighter, as if it were a grave cloth. Unsubstantial fragments of a dream invaded my thoughts, a vague premonition of a faceless horde. I had a sense of being in the path of a malevolent, implacable force. As I regained my presence of mind the grotesque shadows that capered in the gloom of the alley diminished gradually.
I lifted slowly up on my elbow and attempted to rise to a sitting position. It was then I felt a strong hand grasp my arm moving me to a sitting position. Standing before me was a figure garbed completely in black bending forward.
“Sit for a moment until your head clears. You have been on an extraordinary journey. I am here to help you.” The clear, deep voice was comforting but firm.
I looked down at myself starting to feel as if I had been rescued from the Devil’s tomb. Several of my fingernails appeared to have been torn out, my hands were scorched and cut. There were only shreds of cloth remaining from what I once wore. I was covered in…I could not imagine…did not want to imagine what. I felt a blanket being draped over my shoulders and a voice asking if I could stand. I slowly, painfully, got my legs underneath me and rose unsteadily to my feet. Another person grasped my arm as the two individuals moved me forward slowly step by step.
We entered the dimly lit street my feet shuffling beneath me as I was guided along by the two black-robed figures…saviors or demons? A cold malaise sent shivers throughout my body despite the warm, damp air surrounding me. My mind struggled to find coherent thoughts only regurgitating brief flashes of unimaginable horrors. Around me, the buildings began to remind me that I was in the Dark Quarter which I had left…how long ago?
I stood before an old, thick wooden door as I teetered between my escorts. It opened slowly inwards. A ray of dim light pierced the darkness and a cool breeze briefly caressed my face. I was moved forward into a small brick-floored chamber my blanket dropping to the floor.
“We are going to clean you up and then explain why you are here later after you are rested. You are safe now.”
Two attendants gently removed my clothes revealing my damaged body. Leading me into a steam-filled shower room I was moved under the stream of a very warm shower spray. The water’s contact with my battered skin elicited a loud yelp from the excruciating pain. Every damaged pore was aflame with agony that slowly subsided as I was washed with soapy, soft sponges. I could feel both my mind and body recovering with each layer of filth that was removed. Finally, the shower was over, and warm thick towels covered my body. I was laid down on a utilitarian but soft bed.
“Stay here and rest for as long as you wish. We will check on you from time to time so if there is anything you want please let us know. “
Once my head fell against the pillow I was consumed by a weariness and subsequently a deep dreamless sleep.
My eyes opened surveying the small, dim room. Each movement of my body released a dull stitch of pain. The comfort of the bed beckoned a retreat to slumber, reality becoming a nefarious slander taunting the release of a horrid past. There was a need to curl into a natal womb of forgetfulness. As if a silent bell had rung, an attendant entered with an ice-cold glass of water which I gulped down feeling the coolness as it soothed both my spirit and my body. I was handed a pair of what seemed to be medical scrubs and some slippers.
“ I will return in ten minutes to take you to the kitchen for something to eat. Whatever you wish can be prepared for you.”
It came as somewhat of a revelation that I was hungry. I could not remember eating at any time during my time away. As I rose to dress I noticed my gaunt, almost skeletal frame. I vaguely recalled having an athletic body at one time. Walking to a small mirror I was shocked that my once almost black hair was now a clump of tangled white hair hanging almost to my shoulders, my eyes ringed with dark shadows, my face covered with yellow/green bruises with long crusted cuts on either cheek.
Once again, flashes of memories coursed through my thoughts causing me to stumble, forcing me to sit on the bed to regain my composures. Still not a single fully developed memory formed in my mind only these ghastly flashes of untold horror.
As I completed dressing the door once again opened and a woman appeared in a hooded robe, her face peering out from under the hood. The face was unadorned by makeup but glowed with what seemed to be an inner warmth. She approached slipping her arm inside mine, then moving forward. There was a clean citrus scent to her as she walked close to me. As she opened the door she gazed into my eyes seeming to pierce the thin veneer of confidence I had sustained since waking.
“You are protected and I will guide you from now on. I cannot say your journey will be easy but I can say you will never be alone in your endeavor. Come with me and begin the process of healing your body and your mind. Both have been deeply damaged.”
We entered the warm kitchen and were enveloped by the smell of freshly baked bread as we sat down at the round wooden table. I didn’t yet have the wherewithal even to decide what I wanted so a breakfast was prepared for me. My trembling hand jittered the fork as it stabbed at the meal. It was embarrassing how quickly I wolfed the meal down. My plate was removed and replaced with another helping exactly the same as the first. This time I ate much slower tasting each item as if was the first time.
My companion finally spoke…
“If you are ready we will move to the study to talk to others and explain where and why you are here.”
I nodded my agreement and rose from my chair but stumbled as a result of an overwhelming lethargy. Grasping the table edge, I attempted to regain a semblance of equilibrium.
“You have been through an experience like no other. Your body and mind have been subjected to unimaginable atrocities. We will share our experiences to assist you initially in recalling your experiences to enable all of us to plot a path to your recovery. Your experience and recovery will be archived in our vault to assist us in dealing with the continuing threat posed by the “Collector” and her minions. Your experience unfortunately was not a solitary one, but one of a continuing challenge from the bowels of the evil underworld. The Dark Quarter is but one of many such places throughout this world where individuals are “collected,” some never to return and others returned in such a damaged state they are unable to survive. A few struggle through the arduous task to survive, but each survivor carries the memory of the horror with them throughout their lives.”
The study is more of a library, with floor-to-ceiling, book-laden shelves, and Persian carpeted brick floors. A large round table sits in its center surrounded by eight chairs, of which all but two are filled with dark-robed men and women. My companion guides me to an empty chair and takes the one beside me. Each one at the table pulls their hoods back revealing that all have longer grey hair, in some cases hanging below their shoulders.
My companion pulls her hood back revealing that she has the same grey hair. A man directly across from me introduced himself and explained that no one here uses their real name, only pseudonyms or maybe more applicable “noms de guerre.” He explains that each person in this room has experienced something similar to me. Everyone in the house has either directly experienced or lost someone to a similar experience. He advised it is important to know that whomever I deal with can relate to my struggle to recover inasmuch as they have been through their own recovery.
“One thing we must establish right away. Do you want us to assist you in your recovery or would you prefer to deal with it on your own? We are not affiliated in any way with a religious organization or sect. Our group and the global network are self-sustaining through significant endowments thus there are no costs associated with what we do. All we ask is that if you choose to go through the recovery process with us and when ready to return to society we ask that you keep our existence confidential. Some choose to remain with us and if their skills are needed they are accepted or if they choose they can select another location. Of course, you can leave at any point…you are not obligated to stay. You must have questions and we are always available to discuss anything you would like to know.”
I took a deep breath then spoke…
“As you no doubt realize I am in a somewhat surreal state of mind. The brief flashes of memory I experience are of the most horrid things. I don’t know if they were done to me or implanted in my mind somehow. I suspect I have been sexually violated in ways I could never imagine. Over and over…again and again. My initial decision is that I desperately need help to regain some semblance of normalcy thus I must put my trust in your group to assist me. I have no doubt my lack of complete trust at this point will waver from moment to moment so bear with me.”
“The process has already begun. Your sponsoring companion is Esmeralda and she will always be with you. I hope you will not find it strange but both of you will share the same room for the duration. I am fairly sure the last thing you have on your mind is sex. It is not prohibited here but we insist of course that it be consensual. As you might expect this recovery process will be mentally challenging but what you might not expect is it will also be a difficult physical process as well. You have been physically infected, not by a communicable disease but by something that has permeated your body that will affect you physically and mentally. Our ability to rid you of this “infection” is successful only about half the time. If we are not successful you will die within six months.”
Esmeralda rose taking me by the hand as I stood. We turned and left walking down a long corridor to an interior courtyard, beautifully landscaped with a wrought iron table and chairs cozied in a shaded corner. It was the first daylight I had seen in…I don’t know how long. As I sat, Esmeralda bent over and kissed me softly on my lips then surrounded me in a warm, soft hug, her firm breasts pressing against my face as she affectionately kissed the top of my head. Affection was something I had forgotten for such a long time.
“I hope you don’t mind but when I went through the process what I needed most was the closeness and warmth of another person. It helped sustain me during the difficult times.”
“I don’t mind at all and you are right it does help.”
“Are you afraid?”
“Yes.”
“The first few days will be acclimating to your new environment. There will be a process happening around you but will be almost unnoticeable. We will be spending a lot of time together, talking, exploring…”
This ends the “Odious” return. The recovery will come later.
