the lee of the wall

"am i enough?"

i stand at the window
coffee cup in hand
blowing out the stars one by one.
the moon is full…
still shining like a woman’s bare beauty.
it pulls at the ocean inside me
and my breath matches the crashing waves.
fingers move to the tide rising
causing tiny spasms in my womb.
my heart is full also,
nearly bursting
with longing
and loneliness
and the need for someone
to tell me who I am,
to tell me I am enough,
to tell me that I belong to them.
but there is no one who can do this for me.
i must do it for myself.
so I say I love you to no one in particular
and hide myself
in the lee of the wall.
settling for what I must deserve
since I cannot quite grasp the freedom for which I yearn
or believe the glimpses of the life that I have seen.